new thread
Hello Folks:
This has been covered previously I believe though I donÂ’t recall the outcome.
Why are posts, providing honest critiques of people’s posted hair photos, either deleted or not posted at all? We all have an opinion (albeit obviously subjective) of when a certain long hair style either complements someone’s look or detracts from it, right? Is it improper, politically incorrect, or not in the spirit of this site to provide any criticism to people’s update photos? I’d personally want peoples true and honest opinion, rather than the same old regurgitated “looks great” or “good job”. Should we only reply with what people want to hear, rather than be honest? Are folk’s feelings hurt if we are honest on this site? I personally love long hair. Though, I also realize that long hair just does not look great on everyone. There so many additional factors (other than just length) that drive whether the look fits a person or not. These include: the shape and fullness of your face, the thickness of the hair, presence of facial hair, etc.
Please help me out if IÂ’m missing something here. Should we not provide our honest/sincere comments? Thanks.
Vince
I'm sure you have the best of intentions, but it turns out that critical posts don't work on a board such as this. Most posters think that the pics show them at their best, and don't want to hear otherwise. However, you have the right to remain silent, and so one can guage how people feel about a pic from the number and length of replies.
Also, if you post regularly, people will get to know you and start to loosen up a bit about suggestions for improving your hair.
The board probably does tend to glority length over other characteristics of long hair, but one must appreciate that extreme length reflects years of patient care that should be recognized.
The moderators made it clear that posts are not deleted unless they consist of abusive/profane/slanderous content.
This site is primarily a Support Site rather than a Critique Site. Most of the people who post here have excellent manners and seem to live by the old adage of "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all". We longhairs have been victim to too much negativity and received too many unsolicited criticisms from half the world and many have been controlled by parents, teachers, employers, etc., THROUGH our hair. What purpose would anyone's negative opinion serve to anyone here? Opinions are entirely subjective. This board's consensus seemes to have developed promoting the individual's right to valuing their OWN opinion of their hair above all others. So what if anyone thinks anyone else's hair is unattractive or a mistake? Why demoralize someone who is trying to maintain a goal and doing something that matters deeply to them?
Assuming that all negative posts are deleted and that positive comments given here are the result of a mutual admiration society is extremely presumptuous.
As stated before, this is a Support Site and not a free for all. We get that enough out there in the world about our long hair. Everyone needs a safe haven now and then to promote mutual good will. And this site provides that with an impressive group of gentlemen and some ladies who, for the most part, treat each other with dignity and respect.
So if I see a guy's picture here, and I don't care for his hair, I will continue to say nothing, even if he asks. (That just me but if I like a guy's hair I will feel free to compliment it, because almost everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves.) Who cares about my opinion anyway? My opinion certainly isn't absolute and can't be proven to be right or wrong. The only opinion which matters a whit is the person whose hair is attached to his own head.
Your question is certainly a valid one; but not as easy to answer as one would think...
First off, if you go to the Moderator's page, you'll see a pic of 8 guys who are identified as moderators; plus 4 guys identified as being on the Tech Crew (who also sometimes help us out with moderation duties). That's 12 people total. Now, as much as we longhairs always fancy ourselves as a peaceful, loving, everybody-gets-along and agrees whole-heartedly with each other bunch of guys... we DO sometimes have slight differences of opinion on what to allow on this board, and what to delete. But, that's OK in my view, as it keeps things interesting!
Since I can only speak for myself, I will state as best I know and understand to be the basic philosophy and purpose of this board, --- and how this philosophy and purpose influences our decisions of what posts to delete and which ones to keep on the board. Here goes...
In many ways, I view this board as primarily for both support as well as information and advise on how to both grow one's hair out, and also to avoid society's pressure on us into cutting off what has taken so long to grow out. YES, i firmly agree with you about believing in honest feedback; but, on the other hand, society in general is VERY eager to tell ALL of us to simply, "Get a haircut!!!", or... "You look like a girl!!!", "You look like ____ (fill in the blank with your favorite offensive word)...
So, where do we draw the line? I don't always know myself! But, one thing I can say with total confidence: each and every one of the moderators sincerely try to be as fair as they can, --- while at the same time, try to abide by the rules you'll see in our FAQ.
The other factors that influence our decisions are things like: 1) How well do we know this person who is posting this critical comment (ie: the more "regular" the guy is on the board, the more we try not to censor his comments); 2) how close to "good' or "bad" of a "grey area" is the post; and last but not least... 3) which moderator falls upon the post in-question, first!
Does that at least *somewhat* answer your question? I hope so... And I also feel the others who have responded so-far have also brought up some excellent points as well, from what I've read before replying here.
"...Now, about that shabby-looking long hair of yours, young man... (!!!!)"
Ken, --- just one voice out of the 12 volunteer moderators here
Let me comment that in real courts "what judge you get" can affect the outcome of your case. Judges strive to be consistent and so do our moderators, but neither group is perfect, and we can't expect our volunteers to be better at consistency than even the professionals!
We used to have one man calling all the shots. We got consistency, but decisions were not always as middle of the road as they are now. With a group, there is pressure to conform to how the majority feels, and how the majority feels is more in line with how the average users feel. Thus, overall, having a group is working very well for us here.
Bill
One more perspective...
It is very presumptuous as another said to assume that many posts are being deleted by the moderators. I can tell you that this is not the case.
For me, when I check the messages, I will tell you that the only things I ever delete fall into three categories.
1) A post that is filled with profanity or so incoherent as not to make any sense, i.e. - gibberish, or contains links to material that is unsuitable for the board as outlined in the FAQ.
2) A post that is derogatory to another poster such as, "Your hair looks like doggie-doo-doo," or a post that proposes violence be done to another poster.
3) A post that is an advertisement that is basically the equivalent of spam e-mail that none of you want to see.
If your post are falling into these categories, then, yes, they will not make it to the board.
This board is not the equivalent of an Eastern European newspaper of the 1970's that only published the "Party's" one brand of information. But, this board is a forum about long hair for men - a place which can only be kept the decorous place that it is when indecorous material is kept at bay.
Thank you and have a un-double-plus-good day.
Hi Ken:
Thanks for the thorough explanation. That does help me understand the spirit and purpose of the site better.
All good. Thanks!
Vince
I've said this before, but I actually do think long hair suits all face shapes and all hair types. That probably marks me out as a dyed in the wool long haired wierdo, but that's because I am! This place attracts other like minded guys who don't tell anyone they would look better with shorter hair, not because we don't beleive in being negative, but because we genuinely don't think anyone ever would look better with short hair! If that makes us a kind of lunatic fringe, that's OK by me.