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Back in October 2005, when my friend “Hark” was first diagnosed with colon cancer, I have known that the recurrence of the cancer within a year of treatment is a bad sign. It has been less than 6 months since he finished his chemo and radiation and now there are new tumors in the liver. Knowing what that means, I have been in private mourning since.
It occurred to me that after he sees another doctor for a second opinion, that he too will realize what this means. I pretty sure that come Thursday, the "light will drain out of his soul". Therefore, I know I only have a few days left to be with the “Hark” who had been my only friend and family for 25 years.
I know that between now and then, I have to hide what I know and what I feel in order to have these last few precious days of normalcy.
This is hard.
-William
Hello William,
My heart goes out to you in this time of need. Remember, if you need to talk, we are here at any time to give support.
My prayers to you and Hark,
David
Hi William,
I am so sorry to hear what your friend Hark is going through, --- not to also add the pain you're going through having to watch it. The biggest gift you can give your friend is to continue with whatever degree of normalcy you can show around him, even long after he may have "given up on normalcy" himself.
I can't claim to be all that good at the above advise even myself; but my long-time friend, Fay, has given me some practice at having to do this. She's in her late 80s now, and unfortunately has Alziemer's. But I still try to visit her, and she still talks about dancing, --- and even in her deteriorated condition, we still occasionally can share a god laugh! Although it kills me to no longer see the vibrant, fun-loving, mischeivious dance-aholic that I used to know so well and love; it kills me even more to NOT visit what is "left" of her. It's pain and heartache any way you look at it... But, the lesser of 2 evils (or in this case, pain) is to hang in there with your friend, through thick & thin. The gift you bring to your friend of trying your best to still act and be "normal" around him will not only greatly benefit him, but will also comfort and bless you as well, --- and make this final transition time a more peaceful and serene one than would otherwise be for either one of you.
Hope this helps.
With much Affection & Admiration,
Ken
i'll say a pray for him tonight
but never give up no matter how much it seems like theres no hope
best wishes
Jack
William,
I understand what you are going through but all may not be as bad as you think.
A good friend of mine was dianosed with colon cancer in 1999. He did 18 months of both chemo and radiation treatment and ultimately had to have his colon, rectum and parts lower intestines removed. He uses a colostomy bag. After about a year he too also developed some new tumors but all were caught early and he has been cancer free for about 4 years now.
So...in the words of Alice In Chains(??) "Don't plan the funeral until the body dies".
There IS hope for your friend. Enjoy what you have. It could be 4 days or it could be 4 years.
My heart goes out to you and "Hark". It's sad to hear this. Since I'm breaking 50 years old next year, my doctor may recommend that I get a colonoscopy. I'm debating whether or not to get it right now.
Hi William:
I'm sorry to hear your story. My heart goes out to you in this situation.
Vince
William,
My deepest sympathy for you right now. This is, indeed, a very painful place to be. May you be able to walk this path with wisdom and compassion both for Hark and for yourself.
And, for whatever it's worth, leave a little space that his journey with this, your journey together, may include "soul" and "life" in a way that you cannot anticipate right now.
Peace,
Robert
As the others have stated, William, I am very sorry for Hark's condition as well as for the pain it causes you.
I wish your friend good health.
Failing that, I wish him good friends during his time of trial. (That wish, it seems, has already come true through your presence in his life.)
Best wishes.
Shawn (Mr.Crow)
Hark is lucky to have a good friend in you! He'll need your strong support to see him through this difficult time. He'll need you to hold his hand through the treatments, through the decisions he'll have to make, and he need you to be his strong advocate to get the best possible care available.
Our prayers are with Hark and you,
Take care,
Bruce
William;
I have heard it said that: "a problem shared is a problem halved".
Thank You for sharing your pain.
Nearly 10 years ago my brother in law was diagnosed terminal (for the fourth time...) by Las Vegas "doctors". He and my sister traveled to the M.D.Anderson Cancer Center in Houston where they were much more comprehensive in testing and treatment. He has been cancer-free since. I have heard countless similar stories about Anderson and have no hesitation is suggesting that you encourage your friend Hark to look into treatment there. By all means, both of you please seek out one of the many Cancer Support Groups as you walk through this terrifying time. Hold on tight to each other through this and your friendship will only deeper..you need him as much as he needs you and you are both fortunate to have each other.
My prayers are with you....please let us all know how your are faring.
Walter
M.D. Anderson Cancer Center