new thread
Betchya thought I was talking about my hair, didn't ya?
hehehe
Sorry about the wording of the header, but I couldn't resist.
hehehe
Nope, I'm posting about my beard. I grew it a year ago because I was tired of shaving. I love it, my wife tolerates it, and has supported me in keeping it, but I've gone several weeks without a trim, and I'm starting to look like the offspring of Grizzly Adams and Zakk Wylde.
I remarked as much to my wife, and she agreed, pointing out areas on my beard that need special attention. She then asked why I don't trim it so I look more like the goth that I am. I jokingly said, "I could just shave it off so I look like the pretty boy you married," to which she emphatically pleaded, "Would you?" I laughed, and then she added, "Just because I let you keep it doesn't mean I've ever liked it."
Her last comment got me thinking, and now I find myself toying with the idea of shaving it off. As great a guitarist as Zakk is, the very last thing she wanted to do was marry a southern rocker. I thought I'd share my thoughts with all of you.
Reasons to Keep It:
* I don't have to shave every morning
* It looks great on me (my opinion)
* It's warm
* I'm a shoe-in for the lead role in any Christmas play (little joke there - grin)
* I'm saving a fortune on razors (I used to shave with Gillette Mach 3 blades - a 3-pack refill is $10. Now I use an electric beard trimmer that never becomes dull)
* My wife loves me enough to let me keep it as special thanks for taking care of her (she's been homebound and disabled for the last 7 years)
Reasons to Shave it Off:
* I look better without it (my wife's opinion)
* I wouldn't have to keep wiping my mustache dry every time I drink something
* I'd stop feeling afraid of ruining a trim job every time I do trim, and wind up having to shave it off anyway
She's already assured me she won't be upset if I decide to keep it, but wholeheartedly agrees that I am in dire need of a trim.
Feedback is welcome. For reference, this is what I look like without the beard:
Me Sans Beard
Hmmm I dunno.
If you still look like your avatar picture, then I'd say you look better with it. Some people just look good with a goatee/beard thing.
But then again, you kiss your wife, and if it bothers her and she can't enjoy the kiss...
Yup, I do.
Thanks. :)
I've noticed that.
Thankfully, once it got past the initial stubble phase, it stopped itching me and making her feel like she was kissing a scouring pad, so kissing me isn't an issue. I generally prefer keeping it trimmed at the length pictured in my avatar (I took that pic shortly a trim job). The length in my avatar represents my trimmer's max length setting.
WHEW!!! Yes, I most definitely DID think you were talking about your hair there, --- and am relieved to hear otherwise! You have an exceptional head of hair on your head, Nyghtfall; so, in my mind, even teasing or threatening to cut it off means soneone should dial 911 (in fact, my heart skipped a beat when I read the title of your thread here - lol)!!
As far as the beard goes... I think you look better WITH it; but, in looking also at your clean-shaven pic, I'd say you really look just fine either way, actually. Sounds like you and your wife have a great friendship, as well as a happy marriage, --- and I'm so pleased to hear what a great attitude she has (especially about how supportive she's always been about you having long hair)! I always believe in trying to please your partner in the "little things" in life, whenever possible... But, my personal suggestion re. shaving or not shaving the beard off is really to try the following:
Why not just have fun trying out different looks? You could try out a goatee, for example... or trim your beard in different ways and/or to different lengths. And even if you shave it off entirely, beards are fairly easily and quickly grown back (unlike loooooooooong hair)!
I more or less do the above myself throughout the year (except I never shave off my beard entirely). One month I start off with a neatly-trimmed
goatee; by the next month, it's filled in fuller (but still a goatee); then the next month after that, it's a full beard, and maybe even "shaggy"; then the following month after that I trim the full bead to short... you get the picture!
It's actually a lot of fun goofing around in that way! It's odd, but as attached as I am to having long hair on my head, and not being the least bit interested in changing hairstyles or varying the length at all (other than always wanting longer - lol)... I'm totally OK with altering my facial hair, though.
Anyway, have fun thinking over your next 2 weeks, --- and give us a follow-up report when the 14 days are up!
- Ken
Thanks. It's been an awesome ride so far. We celebrated 12 years last October. Sure, we drive each other nuts on occasion, and we have our share of fights, but we've never gone to bed angry.
I'm very lucky, and grateful for her. She's the only woman I've ever met whom I could have an intelligent conversation with about anything and get something back.
That's one thing my marriage has certainly taught me - it's the little things that matter the most.
The middle ground sounds pretty good to me. Trim it and tidy up the mess! :)
I kind of go through beard cycles myself. The good news, to me, is that even if I shave it off (and I do every once in a great while) or trim it severely, it grows back pretty quickly, and there's not a real awkward stage with beards. You can use the trimmer and make early growth look like something you intended. :)
I've been letting my goatee grow long for the last couple of months. I shave everything else, and keep the mustache above my lip trimmed very neat. It's a different look. With my hair long, it's sort of a "wizard" look. I like it.
Robert
I think you look cool with it.
Also a beard is something not everybody can have, hair - anyone can grow hair, but a good beard not so, so for that reason because you can you should.
Like Ken, I did NOT enjoy coming onto the board and seeing that heading!
Anyway, the best marriages often include the ability to compromise and share in each others pleasures or accept them.
That said why don't you have the beard for a certain amount of time each year?
The time needn't be 'hard and fast' set, but that sort of general conception you know?
P.S. I'd love to see a pic of your 'wild untrimmed' beard.
Haha, you got me with the headline.
The nice thing about a beard (at least in the length you've got in your avatar pic) is that it doesn't take that long to grow back. The hard thing about trimming, at least in my experience, is that it's easy to do the trim wrong and then end up shaving anyway. I know some people feel as strongly about beards as they do hair, but if you don't, then I say why not give your wife a present.
Good point. It took roughly two months to reach the length that I keep it maintained at.
Now there's a thought. I can just grow it back after Christmas.
Hmmm...
If it matters not when, you may want to wait until spring. I've found a full beard is equivalent to one layer of clothing. A man loses a lot of heat from his head.
Any time I've trimmed my beard back in winter, I've afterwards wished I hadn't.
Bill
Very good point, maybe you can compromise, the winter beard, summer no beard.
you looked a lot better with your beard
a.
I think you look fine without the beard but much cooler with it, so I say keep the beard. I know its selfish but then you say you like it so I think its the same principle as keeping your hair long IMO.
if you are a sloppy eater like I am, hair around your mouth keeps food from getting on your clothes : )
the thing about face hair is that if you only want a relatively short beard, you can experiment because it didn't take 5 years to grow it. you can shave it all off, and if you don't like it, you can let it grow and in about 6 weeks you have it back. I guess growth rates vary but that's about how long mine takes and I imagine I'm average.
I think you look fine with or without a beard (although I'm a bit biased towards having a beard).
If I were you I'd start with trimming it. Then you can decide whether to keep trimming it once in a while, or shave it off.
No, I knew better!
I've recently not trimmed my beard as well when I usually would have, but I did trim the mustache which made a world of difference in things like eating and drinking. It was beginning to act like baleen and that is not fun. I am letting the rest grow to see how I like it. Since I am without significant other at present, I have only myself to critique my beard.
But, as for you, I think that any of the lengths look fine. As a beard gets longer, if you shampoo, condition, and comb it much as you would your hair, that can also help with the scruffy look to alleviate it. I have been doing that lately, and have been very pleased with the results. However, your beard looks relatively straight (mine is like an afro), so you should have an easy time making it look nice.
You may even want to have it professionally trimmed by a barber that does beards for optimum results. He/she will know how to trim it to a certain length without destroying it. It is difficult to do it on your own.
I think if your wife really, really did not like the beard, she would have raised more of a fuss when you initially grew it.
Good luck!
See you later, Bragi
Steve NoVA gave me a great idea for a Christmas present for my wife. After pointing out that beards my length only take a couple of months to grow out, he suggested I shave as a present for her.
The look on her face upon seeing me clean-shaven for the first time in a year was priceless. After showering me with hugs and kisses, she said, "I thought Rush announcing that their new album is going to be out next April was a cool present, but this is much much cooler!"
hehehe
Steve, thanks, man... you're awesome.
Clean-Shaven
But I thought Steve's idea was for you to shave ON Christmas MORNING!! Oh, well... at least I admit that Steve's idea was a good one, --- and it was defintely fun reading about her reaction!
Bill made a good point, too, though. I've found it true as well that I tend to prefer a longer beard in the winter months than in the summer.
Have a great Christmas!
- Ken
I was planning on trimming it today anyway; figured I may as well go ahead and shave it off now instead waiting 3 days after a trim.
hehe
Yeah, I'm definitely feelin' that draft now.
LOL
Oh yes Ken long for winter a short for summer good idea.
John.B
Oh to be in high esteen:-)
John.B
There you go beats a Canadien band annoucing a neew album!
John.B
But not by much :)
I hadn't heard the news about Rush, cool!
Hey dude, glad it worked out and that I had some small part in that. New Rush? Cool!
Bill had a good point though--it's cold in the Winter. This is a bit ironic, because I grow a beard in the Winter and shave in the spring. If the cold bothers you, she should give you a scarf in return.
Happy Holidays.
Like the subject title says, I think either look suits you very well. You certainly look younger without a beard, but the beard also suits you well and looks cool. It looks well groomed.
Anyone ever told you that you and Weird Al Yankovic look somewhat alike without a beard? I get that a lot because of my hair. :P Also is that Dark Age of Camelot you're playing?
I did something like this recently. First, I shaved my normal goatee into a Fumanchu with a soul patch. My wife couldn't tell me what she thought of it because she was giggling too much. Then, I shaved it to a regular mustache with soul patch. She went from giggling to laughing out loud. Next, I shaved the 'stache and left the patch. She couldn't stand up due to gales of uproarious laughter (I'm a big white guy, and the patch did look ridiculous). Finally, I shaved totally clean. She stopped laughing snd told me I looked like my mother (AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!). Needless to say, I grew back my goatee, post haste!
I tried a full beard once, and it looked great, but made my sister cry. She said I looked just like our late Dad. That's not a bad thing, but I cant stand to have my Sis bawling every time she sees me. I'll get a complex.
So, you look like your parents. Could you be related to them? [grin] Duh.
Seems like it is your family, not you, that has a complex. No matter what you do, they don't see you, they see somebody else. This tells me perhaps they feel insecure around you and are fighting that by trying to not see you as an equal.
Maybe if you just "be yourself", whatever YOU want, in time they'll get over it and just see you. If not, don't let what is their problem be your problem, man. Don't let them deny you your right to your own identity. That situation is not healthy for you, and your tolerating it encourages an unhealthy attitude in them - a lack of respect for you.
My guess is that you'll have to fight their attitudes on more fronts than on your appearance, but your seizing control of your appearance will greatly even the playing field. You are likely facing the same issues that we all have with growing our hair out - anti-longhair bigotry is almost always about power, not hair length. In your case, I smell an underlying power struggle, not one over what you look like. Good luck.
Bill
