new thread
Hey what's up? Im new to the list and don't know what to do. Ill be 16 next month and my mom and dad say I cant get my license unless I get my hair cut! Its been over 2 years its down to middle of my back,they want it cut way short! I have older friends who will take me(to DMV) but I know my dad will never let me drive . I won't get it cut, guess I'll have to save and get my own car!
I am 16 years old, and my mom and dad don't tell me about my hair, how it 'should' be, etc. They love me enough to let me be who I want to be. Could you possibly let them read over this board, and the Mens Long Hair Site, to realize that the conditions they set for you are really quite shallow, and don't deserve warrant. This type of parenting is really beyond me, because I've never experienced it; I can't relate that well whenever theres a kid saying my dad is MAKING me cut my hair. Now tell me something, what does hair matter, if it doesn't affect your parents? They *may* have something run-off on them, then that makes them shallow for thinking that way. If you're happy, they should be happy, at least you're not on the streets dealing drugs, this is a tough world for a teen these days, and if you want long hair, there is no harm in it. They should support you. I really, really, wish you luck.
~Nova(John)
Youre probably right Im worrying a little too much. When the time comes Dad will probably cave in, let me drive even with the hair :-)
They complained a LOT when it grew past my shoulder but they have been quiet lately (until this issue came up !) Sometimes I think Dads right, that 16 year-olds shouldn't have long hair but the support on this list is great, and I think Ill keep on growing it.
Were moving to a new school district in the summer, so Ill have to go to a new school and the kids there will all have to get used to the long hair. Stressful!! Hope they dont have all the kids with the buzz cuts (you know , when the hairs too short you cant even tell what color it is) - I hate that.
on what basis do you find yourself agreeing with your dad's assessment that 16y/o's shouldn't grow their hair? is it the old standby "you're under my roof & will live by my rules!"? if so then your dad is likely to be imposing his own tastes in appearance onto you... perhaps motivated by the notion that it would be detrimental to you (difficulty finding a job for instance). if this is the case then he might want to consider- assuming his suppositions are correct- that 16 is the perfect age to grow your hair- when you're still in school. the condition of license & driving would more credibly hinge on your ability to land & hold a part-time job while maintaining your grades at their pre-job level. certainly the ability to hold down a couple long-term responsibilities is a stronger predicter of character than the length of your hair.
No, no, like I said this list offers great support and I'll keep growing my hair despite what the parents say. Its really important to me to have it real long now since I want it down to my butt by the time Im in my 20s. (Ill never tell Dad that goal however). I'm not weird or anything I just think really long hair is VERY COOL!
Justin
When I was 16, I had neither a driver's license nor a car.
I was happy enough to have a bicycle, and to get around
on the bus or train when I had to. I didn't get a driver's
license till I was 18 (for ID purposes only), and I didn't
get any kind of car till I was 20. So don't worry about it.
Your parents will learn to accept that you are who you are
with long hair, and to respect you for it. Why, they can't
even bribe you with the prospect of having a driver's license
and driving the family car--things that most teenagers crave
to do to keep up with their teenage peers. Keeping one's hair
long in an age of shaved heads takes devotion. Go for it!
That's what I did! I got the money from cutting grass around the neighborhood, and from working at an amusement park during the summer (once I bought the car). I customized the car, and put on it what I wanted. Since my own name was on the paperwork, there wasn't anything they couldn't do to me to take the car away as "punishment" or something. My girlfriend had a key to the car, but my parents didn't. Your hair can stay long, and you will have wheels!
There are many advantages to buying your own car...don't settle for "daddy's car" and let your parents give you one. Not to mention the simple fact that YOU have earned it, and you can truly say it is YOURS!
I am only 26 years old, and since I was in school, was always annoyed at the yuppie kids that got mommie or daddie to "give" them a car. They really didn't own it, they had absloutley nothing to brag about, no matter how hot the car was, since they didn't buy it!!! ..most of them ended up wrecking it, or getting it taken away when they were irresponsible with it. I was still cruising around in my old 1978 Honda after I left Highschool and college. Most of the yuppie kids with daddy's car had to give them back when they went away to school, and ended up buying an old jelopy anyways. so I guess every dog get's it's day!!
Justin, I am a teacher and a father. Just some things to consider. Digging in and fighting your parents won't get you anywhere. Can you ask them for time to sit down and talk, maybe around the kitchen table. Fix them something cold to drink. Tell them that you know your hair has them upset. Tell them that you want to honor them, but that you also want your hair, which is a part of your body, to be honored, too. Ask them if their is some compromise they can make with you that will not require cutting your hair. For example, is the way that you wear your hair disturbing them? What if you agreed to keep it more neatly, say in a ponytail (you will have to work out the details).
Let them know that getting your driver's license is important to you, and that you need their help not only in getting the DL but in becoming a good driver. Let them know that your hair, and making decisions about it, is also important to you, and you don't like being forced to choose between the two.
Ask them if they ever had a conflict with their parents like this (necessarily over hair). Ask this very gently (no in your face attitude, okay). Ask them how it got resolved. Ask them if their were happy with the way it got resolved. If not, how would they have changed it? Ask them if the three of you can work out something like that with your hair and the DL.
What I am suggesting here, Justin, is that you show them some maturity. Parents of teenagers are often just frightened. They need some reassurace that their child is not "going bad" which means they have failed as parents. Usually, if you can show them some maturity,that will relieve their fear enough to reconsider the problem.
Good luck
Robert
I'm glad to see there's more teens on the list (I'm 18 and have shoulder-length hair, but no plans to cut it anytime soon). Is there another site or email list for just teens? This list is great too, I'm just wondering if like-minded guys my age ever started up our own list.