new thread
Yeah, that's right, I'm kinda feeling like cutting all of my hair off. I'm just getting so sick and tired of it. To me, it never looks good, it gets greasy in like three hours, I can't roll down the windows in my car because it's sooo annoying when it flies everywhere, and frankly, I'm just kinda ready for something new. Now don't worry, I'm not going to do anything rash any time soon. I'm gonna give it a while. I'm just kinda getting tired of having long hair, ya know? Does anyone else ever feel like that? I don't know, who knows what I'll do. Right now would be the time to do it though, ya know? New year, new haircut. We'll see what happens. Btw, for anyone who doesn't know, I've been growing it since May of 2004.
Hey
Weston
I remember when you was about 6 months in length when i first join here you was so happy about the progress you had made Im a bit shocked after reading the fact you are seriously thinking about cutting it all of I cant imagine you with short hair now but as you say if you are tied and fed up with your long hair its best to give yourself a couple of weeks to think things though then after a fews weeks if you still feel the same sure have it cut off but your long hair does look great on you.
Axel
Hi Weston,
first, let me wish you all the best for 2007.
About your post: Almost every man who is growing his hair out has gone through these feelings at some stage. Recurrent urges to "cut it all off" are not uncommon during the first years of being a long-hair - it's a bit like the recovery from addictions (in this case to "destructively" short hair and to regular haircuts). Some of us haven't had these feelings but have experienced strange dreams instead. - The longer you hang in, the more it'll come to pass, and you'll be able to simply relax and be yourself.
I also believe that we are our own worst criticists, partially because we, as men, have been socialized to believe that we are not the "beautiful" gender, so, no matter what we do, any effort to look good doesn't seem to look right or to be successful. Also, we sometimes have an unrealistic expectation about how "unreally" good it is supposed to look.
You raise two specific points: a) your hair getting greasy in three or so hours, and b) fly-aways while riding in your car.
About a: Unless you have some extreme form of, eg seborrhoic dermatitis, self-regreasing within 3-4 hours seems unrealistic to me. Maybe you could post some "greasy" picture taken 4-5 hours after washing to get a realistic assessment? I did not notice any grease problem on the pictures you posted so far.
About b: I could be wrong, but to me, flyaways suggest a lack of grease, not an excess. So, maybe some gentle leave-in conditioner would help, so that your sebum-producing glands get feedback and register "We can take it easy for now, there is enough grease aroud." Or, you try this dimethicone/cyclomethicone gel that seems to work wonders for me. (Or are you doing that already?) - Also, you could control fly-aways with some kind of cool-looking bandana, or perhaps with an alice band.
In these ways, problem a and problem b could be eased, and these sources for thoughts about "cutting it off" would be obliviated.
I remember how you have posted updates, with justified (!) pride about your achieved length and looks, consistently over many months. And, I do remember, how your hair, greasy or not, just looks absolutely phantastic - believe me, it does, and I'm a bit fussy, too!
What I'm saying, give yourself at least FOUR weeks, i.e. no decisions in January 2007, no matter what. IF tangles are present (they sometimes cause seemingly contradictory problems, eg a combination of greasiness and fly-aways), THEN I'd consider a 1/2 inch trim in February - but nothing more drastic than that.
One last thing: Did anyone tell you it looked bad? Any girlfriend / parents etc? Even if this was a long time ago, like any kind of "self-fulfilling" prediction, "Don't do it, it'll never look right"? I'd also consider "delayed compliance" to requests made a long time ago, because we often do not remember the source of feelings or of fuzzy "info", but just the "info" itself - and, because we remember it at an emotional level, we can't really criticize it on a conscious rational level. Has there been any pressure against long hair way back in your past?
In any case, hope you can relax and feel great about your hair - and find some ways of enjoying car rides with the window rolled down. THAT would be a realistic and appropriate assessment - on an emotional level at that.
Wishing you all the best, no matter what you do,
Hans-Uwe
P.S.:
I almost forgot, a simple flu or even a mild winter depression (occasionally even as far south as Florida) can cause these urges, because of the errneous thinking that we are getting rid of the flu or winter depression that way (that doesn't work, of course) - check these lyrics below.
In any case, you owe it to yourself to be good to yourself - you're valuable! Hope the New Year brings you lots of good times and good laughs,
Hans-Uwe
P.S.: Here's the lyrics of this Crosby Stills Nash & Young classic:
Almost cut my hair, it happened just the other day.
It's getting’ kinda long, I coulda said it wasn't in my way.
But I didn't and I wonder why, I feel like letting my freak flag fly,
cause I feel like I owe it to someone.
Must be because I had the flu' for Christmas and I'm not feeling up to par.
It increases my paranoia, like looking at my mirror and seeing a police car.
But I'm not giving in an inch to fear cause I missed myself this year.
I feel like I owe it to someone.
When I finally get myself together, I'm going to get down in that sunny southern weather.
And I find a place inside to laugh, separate the wheat from the chaff.
I feel like I owe it to someone.
I've occasionally thought of cutting mine all off too. The thought of easy maintenance with s buzz cut can be appealing. Even a shaggy look of just entering the awkward stage or spikey hair can seem appealing at times. My hair is so thin and fine though, and think it looks bad, unless it's just been washed and air dried.
But... I think to the future and how most guys are immediately upset their decision of having cut off their hair as soon as the cut is done, and think of growing it back. I've spent three and a half years growing my hair out, so it's no quick and easy task to get it back. I really want long hair, always have and always will. It's just unfortunate that my hair type is not the ideal. Despite that, for the first time in my life I finally have the hair style that I've always wanted and been most happy with.
my blog with pics
Three months ago, for Halloween, I rented a costume that came with a short hair wig. My hair had to be tied up and stuffed under the wig. There was hardly anyone who knew me at the party (maybe three people out of about 30).
I guess the wig looked real enough and they just assumed I had short hair for real. I hated putting on the wig... as crazy as it sounded, I felt like a short hair imposter. Plus, I didn't want people to think I was a short hair!
After the party, I changed back into my regular clothes and took the wig off. For shock value, I just let my hair hang down, instead of tying it back. You should have seen all the looks from people! They were saying things like "wow, that's a head of hair" or "oh, I thought you had short hair." It was kind of funny really, but most of all, I finally felt like myself once I was sporting my long hair! It was kind of like seeing what it would be like if I cut my hair short and then regretted doing it, but without actually cutting it. I just took off the wig, and "presto" my long hair was back! :)
my blog with pics
Hi Peter,
that's an excellent way of finding out how one would feel with short hair! And, it's a great way of avoiding horrible mistakes...
All the best!
Hans-Uwe
Thanks!
my blog
Hi Weston,
You have a great head of hair, 2 1/2 years growth. It has to be your decision, but DO give it some SERIOUS thought (two week or longer rule). I did a similar thing back in the late 90's and have never been able to grow my hair back the way it was then, as my hair is a lot thinner now.
All the best,
David
I've been growing my hair for two years, but sometimes, I miss how it looked after only one year, as I could wear it down and it still looked quite neat.
I never wear it down now, because I've got so much hair, it kind of looks all over the place.
I can see where you're coming from. Perhaps just having a shorter style (that's still long) would be a solution?
Luke, that's exactly how I feel at the moment. I miss that "one year's growth" look. I worry that a hairdresser would make a hash of it though.
I know that I don't want it any longer than I have it now (around collarbone-length).
If you just let one window down on your side if you are driving about half way, your hair won't get blown around much at all; I do it all the time, and you still get fresh air and all that.
Before you chop it all off, if you really do want to cut it after having thought it all out over a span of two weeks or more, just cut it incrementally, that is, just cut it back to shoulder length or so first. Then if you are dissatisfied, you are that much closer back to your former length. As best I can remember, when your hair was about that length it looked really cool too.
Or like someone else said, change beard styles; that is much easier to re-attain than your hair would be were you not to like the results of a cut. There are lots of beard styles in the photo galleries of the website I am posting below.
At any rate, it's certainly your decision, but if you didn't have doubts one way or the other, you probably would not have made this post, would you?
http://beardcommunity.com/
Looks like you're just about long enough for a tail, assuming your avatar is up to date. So try a tail while driving or during other activity.
i definetly feel the same!!..i did have short hair ,,,of course we all did?!!...but i think more women prefer short hair on men!!..sometimes its not about conforming,,,its about getting ya end away!
Most women do prefer short hair on a man. I know. However, what do you prefer? If you are in a relationship and you decide to grow your hair out and your wife objects, well, what then? There are some women that are very attracted to men with long hair. If you like long hair then find a woman that likes that too. What if you prefer a woman with a buzz cut? Will she do that for you? Well, what's the difference?
i prefer long hair,although some do look very sexy with shorter hair!!..i realise some are attracted to men with longhair but thats a very small minority isnt it!!..most women to be honest hate it...ive realised.i guess u should always do whatever makes u happy in the end.
Most women do hate long hair on a man, because they feel that you are treading on their territory. They are the ones that are suppose to look pretty, however, long hair on a man is pretty too, as long healthy hair is pretty by it very nature. BTW, many men are disgusted by women that are muscular. I think that they feel that their own masculinity is threatened. But, who knows.
Yep. I felt exactly the same way on June 21st, 2000 (the first day of summer)... I just woke up, so to speak, "on the wrong side of the bed", deciding I was tired of having it long. So, I called up the guy who had been giving me trims over the last few years, saying, "I'm ready to go back to short hair, --- can I make an appointment today?"
"TODAY?? Are you SURE???"
I said the word, "yes", and promptly took the soonest available openning, which was 3PM... By 4PM he was sweeping it all up. His last words to me that day were: "Just remember your hair is growing, even as I speak". As I walked out the door, something told me inside that I would grow it back. And then a few days later, the devastation of what a stupid decision I had made really hit me...
But, I learned a very valuable lesson that day: be careful about acting on impulse, --- especially a negative one!! That's when I made a commitment to long hair for life (barring the unforseen and out-of my-control, --- like a crazed Nazi attack, or an illness requiring Chemo, or other similar situation).
Not everyone is like me, though. A lot of guys do cut off their long hair, NOT regretting it afterwards, --- it all depends on so many individual things that make us such complicated emotional beings!
Sounds like you have a very level-headed approach about it right now, though, and are not likely to do anything rash (as I did in Y2K). I also like what Luke and Bragi said... try cutting off only a little length at a time, --- and/or consider looking back on some mid-length that you liked a lot at the time you were growing it out.
My best to you!!
- Ken
I did the same to my long hair in 1999, except it took me 4 1/2 long years to realize what a stupid thing I did. My problem is now that I want REALLY long hair, I can't grow it back the way it was--it is too thin now.
Just a reminder to those contemplating to cut, DO think LONG and HARD about it, you're blessed with a gift you might not be able to have again!
David
My suggestion would be that whatever style you do end up choosing, your hair, even if it's cut, will (quite obviously) continue to grow. What I mean is that you or anyone else in general, but particularly a guy, shouldn't get so conscious of his hair-do or the length of it, because, after all, keeping one's hair trimmed short actually requires more time and attention (referring to the chore of saying "a-ha, I must go have my hair cut today!," and driving over to the Fantastic Sams or hair salon a few miles away) -- and money -- than forgetting about it altogether.
I withhold recommending the style you select in the future, because to me it depends on comparing the way you look today with how you looked with short hair. Some people look better with short hair, some people look better with long hair, and some people are in-between those two points.
Howdy - Yes I've felt that way as well. This is my third time growing it long. I like the way short hair looks on me too. As a younger guy (surfer) living on the coast, my brother and I would get flat tops. There was a dude in Mission Beach who did an awesome job and I loved it. During the 80's I had the Tom Selleck (Magnum P.I.) look. I'd wear a ball cap and it would curl up around the edges like his did! Lately I'm more drawn to the spiritual native/natural look as in Last of the Mohigans, BraveHeart, Lord of the Rings, etc. Plus, as some have said, at the age of 51 I feel I've got to "grow it while the growings good." I was RAGING at my 30 year High School reunion with an 8in, ponytail. Btw, there's a picture of me with a mohawk in my old yearbook so I guess I've always done my own thing! I wish I could vary the style and length from day to day but it doesn't work that way. Each time I've cut it short again it has been for good reason, and I had fun doing it, and I have pictures to prove it. Once all the men (and boys)in the family shaved our heads. My father is gone now and that is a picture I treasure; all of us - arms around each other - BALD AS HELL! So, follow your heart brother. My best to you whatever you choose - Bruce'ster
Hey, great topic!
I felt like you did 2 years ago. I had grown my hair out for three years. My hair grows pretty fast and was really long, but I was getting tired of the maintenence, so I cut 8+ inches off 2 Christmases ago. After I had done it, I hated the hair style I got. And then I started telling myself what a dumb idea it was. Plus, there is that "middle stage" where your hair just doesn't want to cooporate and looks like crap.
Well, it's been 2 long years. 1 more year to go until I reach my pre-cut length again (WooHoo!!!), and I'm looking forward to growing it even longer.
The way I see it, there will be a time down the road where I won't have much hair, so I may as well enjoy it while I can!
Just make sure you consider everything and are 100% sure if you decide to cut it.