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Hey gang - Interesting chat with a fellow longhair today. I was in line at the grocery store behind a guy with a mid-back tail. I said something like, "so how long have you been growing your hair?..that's what I hope to be looking like in a couple years."
He said, "I don't really know...I'm just too lazy to cut it." What a stark contrast to most of us here who are so "on top" of the whole process, length, growth rate, ponytail girth...etc. And how much different from the pride and sense of accomplishment we all feel here. I kinda felt like...what a waste. I'd kill for his hair and he (I realize I'm assuming a lot) could care less about it. I guess it takes all types, aye? It also made me realize that just because another man has long hair he isn't necessarily a fellow longhair. Being a long hair for most of us means something special/significant/profound..to each of us in our own way. It is a fraternity (for lack of a better word) of kindred spirits all on the same journey sharing a common goal if not for a common motivation. I'm glad to be that kind of a longhair! B-UR-SLF Bruce'ster
Great observations there Bruce.
I also liked your message at the end. In fact, my Year 12 Graduation jumper (in 2002) had "B Who U R" on the front.
Have a great day.
Thanks man - That's what my MC tags say. I've had a few people comment on it. B.
Sounds good about your MC tags. What kind of bike do you have? I've got an '88 Suzuki Savage. 650cc with 1 cylinder. :)
--Rick
Good post there Bruce. It is hard to believe, isn't it. I guess there's a huge world out there, with many guys with long hair that are not really "longhairs" at heart. This guy has probably had long hair most of his life, and probably never even gives a second thought to the natural gift he has. Maybe it really only begins to mean something if a person has always had the desire to have long hair, and something got in the way (social pressures or otherwise) of that person being able to have it. When someone who has been deprived of something for a long time is finally able to realize his dream, that's when the real significance kicks in.
David
It is a sad comment. Besides the possibility that he might just be that lazy . . .
I also wonder if he's one of those guys who rarely has positive comments about his hair or opportunities to talk about it in positive company. In the South, he might have been raised around a great deal of negative talk, including and high onn the list, that he is lazy.
Saying what he did might have been a gut reaction to take attention off himself.
Still, sad.
Robert
Could you expand on what you mean by this?
What does being in "the south" have anything to do with the kinds of talk a person hears?
JeffL
Ha! Being from the South I knew that this would come up pretty soon. Well, I live in Arkansas and I haven't heard any negative comments about my hair. As a matter of fact I have received a lot of compliments. This surprises me a bit since I hear some guys in here say that they get negative feedback concerning their hair and most of them live in other parts of the country. Around here everyone pretty much lets me be whom I am. On the other hand, they might feel that I'm a hopeless case :)
I live in Florida and I've never had any negative comments about my hair either.
Maybe I'm not exposed to enough of the "real" parts of Florida (most people around here are people who've moved from elsewhere and settled to the area, within the last 10-20 years or so at most), add to it that I'm a college student and I'm on a college campus a lot, and I guess you could say that I'm not around the right southerners, but the statement in question still makes no sense to me.
Something tells me most of the rednecks wouldn't give much of a care anyway?
JeffL
A Southern redneck in the best sense of the word (good ol' country folk who'd give ya the shirt off their backs 'f y'asked for it) have no problem with long hair. Many of them have it.
I think the fellow that Bruce mentioned and had the conversation with probably responded as he did since he probably did not know how to take the compliment exactly from a male stranger. If the guy really did not care either way and was just lazy, his hair would have been all crappy looking and Bruce would have recounted a story of neglected hair rather than admired hair. The fellow's nice looking hair proves that he wants it as keeping hair looking decent and laziness seldom mix.
Ahhhh...That's a good point. I had not thought of it that way. You are quite the detective.
Maybe, but I look like i have been through a hedge backwards and I love my hair!
I've been delivering to Florida almost every week for many years. I travel to Miami and Pensacola and all points in between. Big cities and little towns. Actually, Okeechobee, FL is one of my favorite places and has some of the nicest people of any town that I have ever visited.
There was a motel clerk in Perry, FL that was a bit reluctant to rent me a room, because she thought I might bring a prostitute and drugs into the room. She was from the Philippines and I guess long hair is rather taboo there??? I don't really know. She said "Ahhhh, you have the long hair" and then pointed to a sign behind the desk that said NO DRUGS! then she said "no prostitute either". I really got a kick out of that. I had no idea that they even had prostitutes in Perry. Gezzz...I guess I don't get out enough:)
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Living in Mississippi, the only negative comments have been from two family members (both women, with hair that is now shorter than mine) and one lady who asked "Why did you grow your hair out?" My response was "I wanted to," given with a smile.
I have wondered why people assume Southerners are supposed to give more negative comments about hair than people from other parts of the country, as the mullet is supposed to be a hairstyle of choice for rednecks.
I have never had a negative comment in Mississippi. Actually, there was a young lady working at a Krystal restaurant in Magee that said she really liked my hair. I thought that was sooo nice of her. I love those little burgers that they have. I think I could eat 20!
I should have said more to begin with. I grew up in the deep south (Alabama) and have lived in various parts of it most of my life. In Southern culture, it was common for ANY non conforming behavior to be denigrated by calling it "lazy". It was also part of the racism of the day, too, to ascribe any non-white, non-protestant, non-middle class behavior to "lazy" as well.
So, what I was wondering is whether this guy might just have been caught by surprise that anyone would say anything positive about his hair--which Bruce was--and out of cultural training, went with the standard--I'm just too lazy to get it cut.
I've heard this dozens of times. I didn't make it up. It's tougher in some cultures in the US to be a longhaired man than others. While I have never been given a hard time in the South for my hair, as I've said often, I didn't grow it out until after I had established myself as good at what I do--in other words, some degree of respectability--so that people mostly "overlook" my hair.
Robert
Robert
Alot of the longhair guys in Taiwan says that too. They always say they are too lazy to cut and some people who are more traditional assumes guys had long hair because he's either too lazy to cut or can't afford a haircut.
Your reaction is unfounded.
If the guy is too lazy to cut his hair, then obviously he doesn't have a problem with it the way it is.
Laziness is not always a bad thing, however your perception seems to make it that way.
JeffL
Spoken like a true student!!
just jokeing JeffL ;)
That actually is the case with most homeless people. Long hair is the natural default, and if you do nothing, you will be a longhair.
Some might say "they don't have the money", but there are enough so-called "do-gooders" around who will cut their hair off if that is what they want.
Bill
Hi Bruce,
complimenting another guy for his hair always involves a bit of risk-taking. It's good that you took that risk, even if, at a first glance, it didn't quite look that way.
Maybe this guy just wanted to be modest, or he didn't just want his hair to be an issue at all, or he didn't want to be seen as vain, or, he was perhaps a bit embarrassed by the compliment, or, he misunderstood something, who knows.
At a Grateful Dead press conference, in the late 1960's, a reporter asked: "How long did it take you to grow your hair that long, Danny?" Rifkin smiled. "We always figured that if we ever held a press conference, the first reporter to ask a stupid question would get a cream pie in the face, and you're him." (Source: "Hippie" by Barry Miles, Sterling Publishing Company 2003, US paperback edition 2005, page 204)
I'm sure the Grateful Dead in those days were mighty proud of their hair, or at least considered it an integral part of their identity. Therefore, even a seemingly evasive or slightly flippant answer like "I'm just too lazy to cut it" doesn't necessarily testify to the opposite.
If someone offered the guy you had met a haircut on the spot, I'm sure he would answer something like "Are you CRAZY????" , otherwise his hair would probably be short by now.
By all means, lets continue this laudable and constructive risk-taking behavior. More often than not, we probably offer that bit of support that will make the difference between a weak and a strong resolution to be a long-hair.
All the best, and happy growth!
Hans-Uwe
Very good post, Bruce. I've talked with a few guys over the last couple of years about their long hair and found out that the majority of them take pride in their hair. There were a few who don't. Like you said "... I guess it takes all types, aye?"
--Rick
After I've been asked "how long has it been since you cut" forty-'leven times in one day, I start giving answers like this. So I wouldn't necessarily assume the negative.
Hi Bruce,
This is a great post, because it is about interpretation of how we react to one another. Hans-Uwe makes a very good point. I've never had a complete stranger ask me a question about my hair in the street. If I had been in that mans place I would have been very shy about it, but I would have answered your question as acurrately and politley as possible. However, as a person, I am very shy and quite nervous around people I dont know, it takes me a while to get comfortable when talking to someone. Although I am very proud of my hair inwardly, I'm not so sure that it comes across to other people. Friends and family know that im very proud (and vocal) of my hair. Maybe this guy kinda blirted out this stuff about being too lazy because your question caught him off his guard. Maybe it was supposed to be a little quip that didnt quite come out right. Or maybe this guy answered like he did because he didn't want to make himself look like he makes a fuss over his hair. Some men in England seem to appear very manly on first meetings in person they sort of put up a wall to make themselves look macho, its only once men get to know each other they take this barrier away - it might be different in other countrys. Theres a man who lives in my street (and has done since I was born) who's in his 50's and we never knew each other but because of our hair comradery we are now on first name terms and have a drink in the pub together everynow and then. So i guess its different people, different reactions. However after all this ranting that guy you met could just be a lazy git : )
Neil
Same here. I get comments or non-verbal reactions to my general hippie appearance, but strangers never single out one attribute of my appearance such as my hair, with one exception. People comment on my shirts sometimes.
Bill
An interesting post Bruce.
People ask me 'when are you going to cut your hair", like I have it like this by accident, just forgot, or am a practising tramp.
It does seem that long hair on a man is still a little taboo, which is mad in this day and age, with all the bad around the world, that people can still get hung up on hair length.
Mine is, it looks worse. Why cut it at all?
So .. uh I have not .. in decades.