new thread
The conversation went something like this:
manager: Before we begin, I have to let you know that your hair is too long. Do you have a problem cutting it or-
me: Yes.
manager: Do you want to continue with the interview? They won't hire you with your hair that long.
me: Then I'm leaving.
I know I probably could have asked if I could tie it back, but I was really offended, and I wouldn't want to work under someone like that anyway... even if it wasn't her rule. Yeah, I know that a lot of big companies have a rule like this, but I was offended anyway. Especially in northern US where people tend to be more liberal.
Maybe I should have said something like, "If my hair's too long, then your hair's too long." But I think I closed it well anyway.
What blatant discrimination! It's disgusting. Good for you for just leaving. I probably would have told the interviewer exactly what I thought of the policy.
Yeah, I wish I did, but I have a really hard time being mean to people, right to their face. I also have a hard time thinking of good things to say right away.
aww..that sucks man!!it's hard to keep your composure during moments like this,I think you did the right thing.just curious,did you have your hair tied up or just loose?the fact that she kicked off the interview by commenting on your hair is just discriminatory IMO,she didn't even give you a chance to tell her what you are all about!!
well,if you have longaired friends,I think you should ask them where they work..good luck!
That was better than some interviews I've had.At least the issue with hair was brought up quickly.The manager might not have minded but probably bound by company policy.I have had interviews go all the way to getting the job when the interviewer says"By the way,you'll have to cut your hair".I didn't take the job.Arrrg!!That hasn't happened in a long time.
Arrick
That's a shame, especially when I really can't think of one time when I was working at a grocery store that long hair would've really interfered with anything. Obviously there are some jobs where having long hair can be quite hazardous. However, don't give up. If it turns out that you can't find anyplace that will hire you because of just having long hair, there's always entrepreneurship. =)
Well, I want to play bass guitar for a living, either in a band or as a session musician. I'm 17 now, though, so now I could just use a part time job.
That's cool. Another place you may want to check is if city government needs seasonal help. I ended up getting a decent job where I live out in Colorado, and they probably won't be as picky about hair length and stuff like that, especially if you end up doing maintenance or something. Best of luck on the job hunt.
Was this a chain store? If so it would be interesting to know if other locations have such rules which only apply to males.
Karsten
Yes, it's Genuardi's, which is now owned by Safeway. I probably should have mentioned that.
I'm always amazed at businesses with such rules for males ... as a customer they want us ... as an employee they don't. I'ld find a different place to shop, but would make sure management knew why.
Karsten
I would probably said the same thing as you.
a.
You don't know how much I admire your atitude =) Dpn't ever cut your ever for anything, it's who you are =)
Long hair FOREVER! =P =)
That is complete and utter insanity. Are girls allowed to have long hair? Why aren´t males allowed to?
Good question. A lot of people go by rigid societal norms that I completely disagree with. Oh well.
Finding a job that will permit long hair is pretty difficult. I don't see what the problem is, especially at places like grocery stores.. And women can have long hair and THEY don't have to cut it. What's the difference? I just don't understand how having short hair makes you any more of a better worker than having long hair. I guess people will never get through their head that guys with long hair are just as good as people with short hair..
I bet they don't say that to women... yet more sexism
I totally agree with that. Never once in a job interview did I have anyone say that I couldn't be hired with hair as short as many men, yet it's still considered perfectly okay to discriminate against men for their hair. And other things. I used to work at a gym, and the company policy was that women were allowed one set of earrings, but men were allowed none. I also never saw a longhaired man there, so they probably had some kind of policy against THAT too. Ridiculous I say.
Probably going off-topic here, but I have a bone to pick with this issue. While there's still certainly a fair amount of sexism towards women, for the most part we have a greater range of experession nowadays than men. I can wear a skirt or pants and it's acceptable, but if a man were to wear a dress to work he'd be marched out of the building in the vast majority of cases. I could wear earrings, but it's considered less classy on a man. In most of my jobs, sleeveless shirts are considered okay for women, but not for men. Now I'm not trying to imply that most men WANT to wear dresses or "female" clothing, but the point is that men are getting hemmed in when it comes to expressing themselves, it's a horrificly sexist double standard.
Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now.
Mouse
I have wanting to say that for a long time. Good post.
You handled that perfectly...didn't get visibly upset and made a point by leaving on the spot. You'll surely find another opportunity with a better atmosphere.
Hi Jake,
It's good that you didnt let them walk over you. You could have been rude about it, but you just cut it off and left it - good for you. I'm sure you'll find some employment in the near future.
Neil
Hi jake,
I am SO glad you did not cave in to this person's wishes and that you stuck to your guns. I really hope the world gets over this "It's OK for women to have long hair but men cannot" thing sooner than later. That is blatent discrimination in my book.
All the best.
David
There is SO MUCH one can think of after going through something like this. But the main thing is that you have retained yourself and didn't cut just because of her. APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you handled it well. No use to waste time fighting a hopeless battle.
In a way, I'm surprised by the audacity of the interviewer. But, I am not surprised it happened. It is a bit ridiculous for someone to be blatantly rejected because of a physical characteristic. The line between this incident and any other type of discrimination is so thin that it is almost as if some other case precedent would have businesses who do this type of thing running scared. But, I suppose in many states and countries that is not the case.
It is appaling that someone is so afraid of some defenseless protien strands hanging from someone's head. When you reduce the argument to the absurd, the fact that you were held out of this job because of your hair becomes laughable. It's comical! Can you imagine the hypocrisy of a situation in which some other person was held out of a job because they were Irish or Italian or Black? And yet, in the past, this did happen. Now we look upon it as rather absurd, and yet there the hurt still lies. The problem is not your hair; how could it ever be? The problem seems to lie in fear, that awful word that manifests as rules and decrees and manifestos - usually more often than not to exlcude and preserve. Exclusion of certain people to preserve a status quo. And those who espouse this static view of life - of anything for that matter - see not the folly of their argument. They see only doing what they believe is right and what they were taught without asking that all important "WHY." The interviewer was probably doing you a favor if you think about it. Maybe she saved you from something. Maybe she just gave you the time to practice your music - to get really good at it - the best! You just never know. I sure wouldn't sweat it. You did the right thing. Just keep on keeping on...
Pax vobisum.
Hi Jake, I think that you did the right thing of just walking out. There are lots of opportunities for a young man out there,
when your 18 you can get into the factories where hair doesn't matter according to the public. That's what I did.
Later,
Chris
I guess I should have read all the posts first, Music was my dream and still is but it never happened, I play guitar also (rhythm) but did not pursue it as I should have.
Later,
Chris
Grocery store work sucks anyway. -->it's just a "job," not a career. Hair is a lifelong thing, kind of like a career. You'd be better off finding a career that allows you to keep it.
True, but at 17, I just need a part time job. When I'm older I want to be a professional bass guitarist.
My buddy's brother teaches electric guitar, and he's 18 now. He also has long hair, and works at a Rock-n-roll music store. Have you considered working in a music store?
Interviews are two way streets...
That manager did remarkable poor on your interview ! HA!
Good for you !
Walter White Tail
I think you handled yourself just right. There's no point in looking back and saying, "maybe I should have said/done such-and-such...", --- you did and said what you did under a stressful situation, and you did it well... as well as you walked out with your self-respect (and your hair, too)!!
My only other thought on this topic is that it's always best to tie your hair back for any interview, --- no matter what the job is for. I *NEVER* compromise over hair length; but if an employer tells me that I have to wear a hairnet, braid it, wear it in a bun, or whatever... I'll do it. As long as at the end of the work shift I'll get to take it down and shake it loose, that's all that really matters (and that I didn't have to cut even an inch)! But, if you really are hoping to get hired by someone who doesn't yet know you, best to look as "professional" as possible by walking into the interviewer's office with your hair already tied back next time, --- even most women will tell you it's best not to wear long hair loose at the first meeting of a potential boss.
- Ken in San Francisco
Great point Ken and I am glad you thought of this. (Don't know why I didn't as I know of a case right now in town.)
A guy, probably in his early 20's has magnificent long hair. BUT..........he landed his job easily and the minute he leaves lets his hair loose which is past mid-back in length. This is what he does, and for the life of me I am amazed at how much long hair he has that can be disguised so "easily!"
He somehow gets all in a bun in the back that hardly looks like anything at all. His hair is combed straight back, lays close to the scalp and doesn't really even look like a long hair while he is at work. And of all things............it is a GROCERY STORE! (Wouldn't you know.) Such a conservative look. Actually quite amazing to myself.
The words of Kens were wise words indeed. You 1st have to get your foot in the door............and the less waves you make, (especially if they have a long hair hang-up) the better. Of course, once you are hired you may find that letting your hair down is no big deal. All seems to hinge on the individual employer and their "personal" likes and dislikes. Unfair? Yes! But for now, a good solution until you can find a place that excepts you as you are. In the meantime you can be scouting-out other job opportunities until something better shows up and not be out the income.
Hi jake,
There's plenty of other jobs out there that won't make you compromise, you just have to find the boss. In my area the regional supermarket - Stop & Shop, has many longhairs and shaggy hairs working in them. Some with ponytails, teenagers and older guys. Don't be discouraged you'll find the right job!
Take care,
Bruce
Hello Everyone,
Safeway has a policy against guys having long hair. Just Google Safeway "long hair", and you will see in the first Entry, Miller VS Safeway, a case where Safeway bought a supermarket, and forced its male employees to attend a seminar about normal appearance, and were forced to cut their hair. One guy sued, but Safeway won.
I would vote with my feet, and buy my groceries elsewhere. My local grocer in Montreal has long-haired employees.
Have a nice day,
Georges
All I could find was that he won leave to amend his complaint. I couldn't find what happened after the case was remanded to the lower court. BTW, it's an Alaska case under state law, but that's apparently based on US federal law.
nt
Hi, Jake,
I think you handled this very well. You only could have added "...because I'd hate to waste your time." You even could have added some sarcasm by saying "Hope you find the right guy for this kind of company."
By the way, try some libraries and some places that value proficiency in foreign languages (you speak French, don't you?)
All the best!
Hans-Uwe
I interviewed for a Law Enforcement position with the U.S. Government with my hair tied back, in a suit, with a killer resumé and 96% percentile entrance exam.
It went something like this:
"I hope you understand that you will have to cut your hair when you begin this job. Both women and men have the same rules about hair length."
I said, "I understand."
They said, "Then congratulations and welcome to the XXXXXXXX, and don't forget to cut your hair when you show up to work."
They were very professional, and so was I.