new thread
Sorry im a bit angry... im just really tired of people saying things about my hair, the most frequent one is "so when are you gonna cut your hair ?" WHY do they ask that ? if i have long hair it's beceause I WANT TO so if i cut hair i will do it but why should i get them informed ? they also say more iritating things, if i arrive last in a running race there will a guy who will say "ahaha it's his hair that slow down him" or thing like that...
i also hate when someone say my hair dont fit me or , there is something worst , when somebody say my hair doesnt fit me whereas a fellow longhair man fit , remembering me that my hair arent so beautifull...
you people all know that life is sometime hard, and when you dont have self confidence and you dont like your apearence it's very hard when people say iritating things...
for me it's very hard now , i havent had a girlfriend for 1 year and i dont think any girl is interested in me so the very litle of self confidence i had is gone now
i dont know what to do with my hair, i always have bad luck , i wanted straight hair , i have not even curly hair , i have bizare hair.. but be sure i wont cut it !
im really sorry but i need to say that all to people that dont laught at my hair... im also sorry about my bad english but i hope you will understand...
thanks you all for reading my post and see you soon
Bye
Angel
I would certain just ignore all those negative comments and you can think they maybe jealous as you never know. You should do what is right for you and perhaps share a picture with us and and I know you will get some very positive advice here.
Keep it growing.
John.B
Hi Angel,
John is right, you just have to try you best to ignore the flak you take. It's damn hard and I know it, I was practically bullied out of my last year of school. Whatever you do, try not to crack. And remember when your hair gets longer you will have much cooler hair than any of the kids who want to have a go. It might be worth you becomming a member here, the people here are fantastic, very kind and extremely helpful.
Take care
Neil
Hi Angel,
I fully empathize with your situation. I guess at least 80% of the guys get such typical flaks here. I've encountered people on the street who tell me straight in my face that, "You look like a girl!", and once I got called a "gigolo" and those faggots then giggled amongst themselves. I've overheard relatives commenting on my hair and giving lots of flak to my mum, asking her, "When am I going to get my hair cut?". In this humid Singaporean weather, some people had an additional ammo by asking, "Don't you feel hot with all that long hair?". Gee... I had the exact same response as you that, "If I feel hot, I wouldn't be growing it in the first place!".
My previous girlfriend wanted me to keep my hair at chin length, saying it's "more suitable" for me. "Suitable"? Based on who's standards? My standard is - as long as possible. I truly believe that I'll terribly regret it if I follow her standards as I've since lost her (but not directly due to my long hair though). After the breakup, I underwent a period of 6 years (yes, 6 looong years...) without a girlfriend! During this period, I let my hair grow, grow and grow and lived with those remarks. I initially had pessimistic and negative thoughts about people giving critical comments on my hair. But as time goes by, I came to understand that, you cannot control how others react to you, but you can control how you react to others. That's exactly what motivated me to push on and, at the same time, live confidently with my long hair, and respond in a gentle way towards people giving negative remarks to my hair. This has two possible effects. Firstly, it may enhance understanding between you and the person on why you wished to grow your hair long. Secondly, by reacting in a gentle way, you've projected confidence and wonderful testimony as a long-haired guy, it may change and influence the person's biased views against long-haired men (if there are any at all). This strengthened me and, hey, I'm happily married last Sept :).
Take heart my friend, push on. Your outward confidence in your look will exude immense charm without you knowing it. Your outlook towards others will feed back on you, and be always jovial and forgiving towards others :). If they cannot accept your views, it's their problems, not yours :). You have to be accountable to yourself for what you wish yourself to be, and not accountable to others, who have absolutely no stake in you and your life :).
Here's a pic of me and my wife, taken two weeks ago when we went for a weekend getaway at a French-Japanese-themed village resort.
Your day will come.
Jin
Hi jin ,
Nice to see you again .Wish you great married life .Can we have more photos of your hair during your holidays ,
Salute your attitude and courage against all odds of having long hair .All the best and keep growing .
Your mane are very good
Rgds Ambrish
ive had this lots of times,,not the name calling,,just the "when are u cutting your hair?"....blah blah blah,,,it does get to u sometimes,,,but i just ended up thinking "go screw yaself,",,,,,basically,,,i cant be bothered to respond or to be nice,,,thts just me..
little people/little minds.
I´d say the problem isn´t your hair, and not your looks either. The issue is probably much deeper than that. Maybe all you need to do is to stand your ground and not tolerate their comments.
And when it comes to girlfriends, you need to love yourself to be able to love someone else. Self-confidence attracts women like honey. And self-confidence can be learned.
It's strange that people make a big deal about long hair on men. It was never a big deal for me, growing up following things like wrestling and rock music. But people look at long-haired guys like they're aliens or something.
I suppose some people are just afraid of change and diversity.
Long hair on men, in today's society reads (and, in most cases, accurately so) that the long haired man is a nonconformist, that he is his own person, that he doesn't care what others think of him, and that he cannot be controled. And since the society we live in is a conformist one, and being one's own person is viewed with suspicion (as few people really "own" themselves now -- ironically so, when we're supposed to be living in a "free" society), and since we're in an image conscious world (and that always depends on others "approving" of our images) and most of all, since a man's hair is how, for centuries, he has been "controlled" you're going to get comments from jerks, especially at the beginning of your long haired journey. But after a while, the comments cease, when they realize that their opinion ultimately doesn't mean one whit to you.
Stay strong, keep your eyes on your goal, and pity those who have felt that they must conform to that safe, unimaginative place they feel comfortable in.
Yes, negative, unsolicted comments are rude and infuriating. But consider the source whence they come.
It sucks to hear about stuff like this.. Sure everyone has an opinion, but people don't need to judge how others look. If they don't like your hair then tell them to get lost. People think that if they tell you you look bad or it doesnt fit you, that they can manipulate you into becoming something THEY want rather than something YOU want. And all that matters is what YOU want, so whatever they say(as frustrating as it might get) should mean nothing to you, as long as you are happy with how you look. No one should have to have the approval of others in order to have confidence, because the ones who judge you probably lack confidence themselves. Good luck with your hair growing.
that was meant to be a reply to the overall topic lol not just to guymarch. my bad
Hi Angel,
here are some possible answers, concerning the question when to get a haircut:
"when the Sahara desert runs out of sand."
"when the Pacific Ocean runs dry"
"when hell freezes over" (Credit to Axel for this one)
Also, if people say that your hair doesn't fit or suit you, answer
"well, I meant to tell you this, but your nose would look great on many other guys, but you should get surgery. Your nose doesn't fit you."
or,
"I probably should explain this to you, but your mouth is unusually large for your face. It would look great on certain US Presidents (or German Chancellors), but it just doesn't suit you. You should have surgery to get a smaller mouth."
or,
"Your left arm looks rather odd and doesn't suit you. I think you'd look much better without it."
Jin has written in a very insightful way about the girlfriend issue, by the way.
You are a great person being just the person you are, and, if the girls don't appreciate you, that's tough for them - long-haired men may not be quite as macho, but most of them are much better lovers than the average short-hair he-guy!
You're great as you are - no need to ruin you by trying to improve on you!
Never let these poor ignoramuses upset you. You're stronger.
Happy growth!
Hans-Uwe
P.S. You might have said this in an earlier post, but what is your native language? Don't get me wrong, your English is certainly good enough. I'm not a native speaker either.
I would like first to thank you all for your messages , it greatly help me, now im begin to axept me as i am , and i try to see me with my eyes and not with other peoples eyes... i have long hair and im proud of it.
this is some picts of me :
yay a smile !
here you can see my straight root and my curly ends...
Just playing guitar :)
a pict i just took ,where i look like an idiot ^^
PS: to answer to Hans-Uwe , my native language is French
See you all around soon, bye and thanks again
Angel
With hair like that, you definitely have something to be proud of!
Mouse
Salut, Angel,
peut-être tu le déjà sas - il y a plusieurs participants francophones sur cette site, p. ex. "Fellow" (Thomas), et Georges (de Montréal). Aussi, Jake (de la Pennsylvanie) maitrise le français très bien.
Encore une question: La version française de la phrase toxique "This doesn't suit you", est-ce que c'est "Ça te ne convient pas"? En tout cas, c'est très clair, tes cheveux longs te conviennent excellement - et tu as vraiment raison d'en être absolument fier!
Bonne croissance!
Hans-Uwe
P.S: Excuse la mauvaise qualité de mon français, ça n'est pas ma langue maternelle...
Salut Hans-Uwe !
Ton Français est très bon , sans doute meilleur que mon anglais malgré quelques petites erreurs de sens ^^
moi je traduit "This doesn't suit you" par "ça ne te va pas"
je suis content de savoir qu'il y a d'autres francophones ici !
Merci et A+
awesome,just awesome...your hair is gonna look stunning when longer,due to that incredible thickness of yours!!:)
This is very interesting. I can't understand why so many here on this board seem to get so many negative comments on their long hair. I really would like to hear some theories on this. I live in Arkansas, which is rather conservative and I don't get comments like that, furthermore, most of the guys here look better than I do with long hair, so what gives? Maybe I just don't pay much attention to such comments. I drive a truck and I have been all over the U.S. but I still haven't experienced such negative comments. I really feel for the guys that have to deal with this kind of stuff.
I work in a store, dealing with customers every single day. I haven't had a bad comment from them ever.
Over the years I've been asked twice by two different bosses if I would cut off my hair. When I said that I wouldn't, they let the issue go.
One of them actually said "At least the beard then?" I just looked at him as if he was daft and just said "No!"
I suppose it's got a lot to do with where you are...