new thread
Back when I first started growing my hair, I found a community called LHC. They referred me to MLHH Well they evidently did not like me, some of my posts were thoughtless, but I didn't think they rose to the level of being banned for good even at 30 years.
Tried to make good with LHC today and guess what once they found out who I was they banned me again, it seems LHC members hold grudges long.
Seems rather short sighted for that forum and I've never heard of them banning anyone before.
John.B
I have found them to be very fair. If you admit that you said some inappropriate things, they may not trust you with a new identity. If you contact a mod and say that you will not engage in that type of behavior again, they may give you another chance.
My advice is don't waste your time with people who are obviously so worthless as that, even despite what people say here. This is the internet, you get what you get. People suck. Especially on the internet :)
JeffL
Now I'm no stranger to getting banned from communities. Before 2003 I had been banned from hundreds of forums and game servers for cheating and bad behavior. Each time when I had been banned, I had deserved it.
When I found LHC I was looking for advice on how to grow my hair after coming from a 11 month jail sentence. NOt the Role MOdel am I?
Anyway before I got banned I so wanted accepentence I made the mistake of thoughtlessly replying to every message that had meaning to me. Eventually this got me banned, even while watching my behavior.
NOw I know in the past I have been less than honest with everyone I deal with, I have changed.
Now Kenneth, I found it uncharacteristic that the LHC mods would be hasty so I decided to see your post over there on the welcome board. You know, the one you titled "Longhaired guy new here" where you claimed "I have been a member here for years, but never posted." A heartfelt post asking for another chance at being a productive member of the community would have been one thing but to try to pass yourself off as a new man there including pictures that let you be identified, well let's just say victim is not the trait that comes to mind.
Elizabeth
I tried that, they just deleted my post without explanation. It seems they think I'm a dishonest shady character, you know the kind of longhair who negativly potrayed in movies. I know I use to be the kind of guy to take your wallet without any conscience or empathy or hestitation, but I am not that person anymore.
I had been arrested 10 times before the age of 19. I don't see what the big deal is no one wants to give me a another chance.
Hi Kenneth,
I see you are changing your appearance as you are building your character as an honest and empathic human being. You are growing your hair long in parallel with getting rid of some unwanted habits or residual character traits that still may be there. We support both your efforts, of course.
Apparently, you have come a long way, so, if you still discover little habits that are part of the "old" self, please do NOT despair, but stick with learning all the little new and honest and empathic ways of interacting with people.
Personality-wise and hair-wise, you are developing into the person you were always meant to be, and, while hair grows by itself, personality traits have to be developed and practiced. NEVER ever be discouraged if you still discover weaknesses and mistakes here and there.
I'm taking the time to write this also because I have more respect for people who have come a long way than for those who have been "good" from the beginning.
Good to see that you are defying some movie stereotypes - you are becoming long-haired AND very honest (including all the little ways) in parallel.
My salutes and my support and prayers go out to you.
Hans-Uwe
I agree, taking the long road will serve you well in the future because you will be much wiser and know the pitfalls of life.
Good luck to you.
Hi Kenneth,
you are admitting that you had some serious issues, and you seem to be working on those, and this admission deserves respect.
As far as "being banned from forums" is concerned, I haven't really come across any inappropriate posts from you. (Well, I haven't scrutinized you, but still certain things would show up by cross-checking IP numbers for instance.)
And, there is nothing wrong with wanting acceptance, we all need that so our souls can thrive. Along with that, a healthy dose of self-acceptance is key to our wellbeing. We are all incomplete, we all have issues to work through, but we nevertheless deserve respect and dignity. All that applies to you as well, of course. Certain things you have done in the past may clearly have been bad, but who you ARE and what you have DONE are two different pair of shoes.
I personally believe that God doesn't create bad people, so, to quote the "shrink" from the "West Side Story": "Deep down inside you there is good." In that sense I wish you a healthy sense of self acceptance and of well-being. I know, you have identified your weaknesses already and you are dealing with them. Live your strengths.
By the way, certain things that are appropriate on some forums (such as this one) would be inappropriate in other contexts. An example: If I were a congressman, I would be VERY careful with uttering remarks like "By the way, your hair looks fabulous" to a high-school-age intern/page, where this might be seen as an improper advance. However, if, for instance, he mentioned that he considered getting a haircut because his dad said that shorter hair looked more professional, I would be justified in explaining to him that eg a long pony tail is just as professional as a regular short style, and that his longer hair style looked VERY professional to me.
May your "hair journey" also be an expression of healthy self acceptance and appropriate self-love and self-respect,
Hans-Uwe
You really don't want to be a member over there. The mods sit around and discuss anyone who seems just a little suspicious, then you are watched. [Heck, they discuss people who do nothing suspicious.]
Over at the LHC, the topic of long hair ceased to be the main topic of discussion years ago.
A community of mostly women operates much differently than a community of mostly men. That's not good or bad, just the way it is.
Keep in mind that a web community is like a friend. If you slight one, they may just decide you're not worth the trouble, and the relationship is over. For good. There are too many other fish in the sea for them to bother to spend time on old friends who did not work out.
A web community is not a government agency where you have rights. It is a personal endeavor, and people are free to have as friends whomever they want. When you come into someone's web site, you are a guest in their home. They can invite inside whomever they wish, and how you behave will affect whether you will be invited back.
Moderation crews are generally volunteers, and their time is limited. If you prove to be a "high maintenance" person, one who consumes more than his fair share of moderation resources, you are apt to just be gone.
Some people forget that when they are on the Internet they are really just in among a group of human beings. "The Internet" is just the place for the party. Whether you will be welcome in a place is going to depend on whether you treat others civilly, just as is the case at a party in real life. That is because the Internet IS real life. It is just people. Act like it is, and you should in the future have no trouble.
Bill