new thread
There's been a lot of talk about approval lately in response to DavidN's posting. It is not a new topic here by any means, and one that has been and will be revisited many times. I was reading a book given to me recently by one of my sisters, a therapist in Berkeley. I want to share a quote from it that made me think, and shed a new light on the subject.
The book is Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen, Md. "To seek approval is to have no resting place, no sanctuary. Like all judgement, approval encourages a constant striving. It makes us uncertain of who we are and of our true value. This is as true of the approval we give ourselves as it is of the approval we offer others. Approval can't be trusted. It can be withdrawn at any time no matter what our track record has been. It is as nourishing of real growth as cotton candy. Yet many of us spend our lives pursuing it."
Or, to put it in my words, "Approval is a real BUZZ KILL!"
B-UR-SLF : B
I couldn't agree more. Great post, Bruce.
Noble
Thanks Bruce, for the insight and the quote. I have to admit, as a result of the events that have transpired over the last few days, that I felt I have become a much stronger person because of these events, that growing long hair is really part of who I am, and I really have to accept who I am, without caring what others think. I am sure many of the other guys here have gone through the same "soul searching" as I have.
David
I fully agree with the quote. Thanks for sharing!!!
-Mihnea
Hi Bruce,
In your post about the potential volatility of approval, you raised very important points; we have the right to feel good about orselves, and that is not dependent upon approval from others.
I'd want to add, an important corollary of that is self acceptance. We are good enough as the person we are, we do not need to be someone else. If we kept trying to be someone else, we'd become even more dependent upon approval by others.
All the best!
Hans-Uwe