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For the last few years I have had the urge to grow my hair long, but have not been brave enough. Firstly I am worried about the response I will get from my family and friends, and secondly I don't want to ruin my job prospects in the world of business. I am 18 at the moment and whilst I still have plenty of time on my side, I don't want to take forever. I see long hair styles on women and it really makes me think that I want to experience a pony-tail, braids and updos. I personally would not mind looking feminine (though I am definately straight), but I am worried that I will be ridiculed. Please advise me on what I can/should do.
"I personally would not mind looking feminine (though I am definately straight), but I am worried that I will be ridiculed. Please advise me on what I can/should do."
Why do you care what other people would think? By caring, you actually allow them to have [some] control over you. And letting them have any control is too much. Its really really hard to let go and not care anymore, but once you do its a great feeling. Heck, you could wear your hair three feet high, and once you don't care about what people think you never felt so good! :)
You basically just have to do it. Just go out one day with something different about yourself, and watch the attention you get. This may be good or bad, depending on where you are and who you're around, but the ones that accept you are the ones that deserve your time. The ones that think bad of you because you are different aren't as high on the evolutinary ladder, and need to be left alone until they can see that they're wrong. Until then, you absoultely shouldn't let them rule your life. Only youcan :).
Nova(John)
From my experiences I can say that I always wanted long hair and it needed powerful pressure in my childhood from family to hold it down. Between 16 - 18 it was not so easy to hold my wishes down and the hair was growing, although it gave a lot of trouble, I refused compromises. After growing it to shoulder length military has catched me and the hair, and all the battles were in vain, but they have exhausted a lot of creative potential and it has destroyed my family feelings.
What I wanted to tell you is the following: there exist people where hair arises to be a really important thing. I don't know if this is something you feel for yourself. To manage a life can be rather difficult and if you fear the one or the other thing it could be happen. If hair is not so important for you I would set other preferences, job, education, friends. I never had problems with friends about my hair, although most of them had short hair, and I have cut it sometimes short for job reasons, but it was not always necessary. To fear too much things is not good for growing a personality. It is important that you have the one or the other thing of yourself you can be proud of.
The sentance "taking a plunge" I have already heard in another context, if a woman decided to cut her long hair short. To grow a long hair is quite different, it needs a lot of time and during the time you can always contemplate about it and the reaction of the society about you.
wolfgang
By all means you should go for it. If your co-workers, boss, family and others don't like it tell to go jump in the lake. It's your hair!
Colin, just go for it. I'm almost 26, and couldn't care less what other people think about my hair. That includes my sister and mother, who usually don't mind if I do stuff (as long as it's legal), but for some reason, don't like me wearing long hair. My father, OTOH, who's very conservative (like me - except he's still wearing sort of a military hair cut), thinks my hair will look very good once it's grown back out... Whether or not long hair makes someone look gay or not, I don't think that's true. Most of the longhaired guys I've met are straight, like me. WRT the job prospects, there may be problems if you go in looking unkempt, but, if your hair is clean, and kept under control (iow, in a ponytail or something like that), your interview should go fine, and they won't take it into consideration - UNLESS, there is a strict dress code, which is still in effect at some of the older companies. At a company, like Microsoft, however, probably 25-35% or so of the guys there are longhaired. So, no big deal. Again, I say, go for it.
-J
yes you right, and also, most of the gays i met (i'm straight btw) have short hair!
i think it's about this: 'gays like to be trendy, and short hair is trendy and long hair not!' (though i don't like to put labels on poeple)
How true.
-J
let me give you a different perspective. i either like to have my hair buzzed like usmc or long down to shoulders. i am gay but not feminine (except when i wanna be) probably like will on W&G. n e way
it's extremely hard to find gay guys with long hair and i cant figure out why. seems that when ur gay you gotta fit into some mold and that really sux.
my question would be that if i want a long hair dude do i gotta have long hair too? i really like it but usually cut it once it gets messy and never let it just go to get past that stage. i'd appreciate any help you can give me about getting past the messy stage. my first goal is to grow it long like tom cruise had before his divorce. btw you notice that his hair was long before the seperation (straight) and buzzed after (gay). just an observation....
Your sexual preference has absolutely nothing to do with the way you choose to ware your hair or the type of boots you have on or the swimsuit you feel you look best in. You don't have to fit into anyone's mold....be comfortable with you.
No one is going to know your sexual preference unless you tell them. There's no such thing as "gaydar". There are all types of men and women with various choices for the styles they like to see themselves in......not gay, not straight...just comfortable with themselves.
Of course, there is a gay longhair site just as there is a straight longhair site.
D
Let's not leave those terms in the singular! There are several of both kinds. And there are many, like this site, that are undesignated as to sexual orientation and are open to all. :-)
As for gay sites....
Both sites have links that will take you to other gay longhair sites. Quite a few of those "other sites" are groups or clubs of Yahoo, and can be found by searching for them at Yahoo. The Yahoo sites tend to mostly be either regional, or limited in scope in some way, useful if your interest is narrow and you find a site to match.
Not to stereotype, but gays tend to be extremely trendy. If ultrashort cuts are in with the gays, the gays will flock to them. Just as they do with what cars to buy and what clothing to wear.
Gays also tend to automatically assume that if you are a man and you have long hair; that you are straight.
Don't worry about what others will think, it's what you think that counts. If your hair is neat and clean, that's all you have to worry about. I'm a college teacher, and lots of my male students have long hair and it has never affected them getting a job! One thing I have noticed however after years of teaching hundreds of young people, is that most of the time, the long haired guys have a far more interesting personality and are more genuine. I took the plunge two years ago and let my hair grow and have it in a pony tail. It has pissed off some of my family, (I love that) and causes comments when I run into someone I haven't seen for a while. When they say, 'my God, you have a pony tail!' I counter 'where?', they say 'on the back of your head', then I reach back, feel it and say with relief in my voice, 'thank God, I thought I'd been attacked by a rabit squirrel!'
If you get comments, use humour to counter. If someone really doesn't like long hair on a guy, then they will just have to deal with THEIR problem!
Say NO to barbers!
Regards, Lee