new thread
Hello everyone i know it has been like forever but with college and what not i have been buisy, neway just wanted to say i am gonna cut my hair.
well for a start i will never go back to having really short hair. Reasons for cutting its like a mixture of things, i dont think long hair suits me anymore, i cant get a boyfriend, i think its time for a change.
so i thought i would let you all know, and thanks for all ur support. I know i am gonna get a load of messages saying dont do it! lol but i think i have to, just feels right at this moment in time and i have loved having long hair but time for a change.
Well i am gonna go to sholder length first, so i can still get in in a ponytale and then mabey shorter like with a big choppy frindge.
neway i will still post the occational message, i hope lol
Ben xxx
Hi , you should not cut your hair , they are so cool , i think it does fit you very well.
anyway that's your choice , do it i you want to BUT PLEASE just wait 3 week before cutting it , to be sure you wont regret it...
Cya
I seriously think you shouldn't cut.the hair is lookin amazing...if you're doing this because you want a bf,then it doesn't make much of a difference whether you have mid-back length hair or shoulder length hair.most gays like buzzcuts nowadays for some reason.I have a gay friend and he keeps his hair extremely short :(.anyaway,if you didn't know already,there's a longhair site specifically for gay people.I think you should check that out.the best of luck to you!!
Sorry to hear you are going to cut as you have beautiful hair. I hope there are other reasons than not getting a boyfriend, because cutting your hair to try and find a lasting relationship isn't going to work.
I can't seen to find a boyfreind either - and I'm almost 52! One thing I know, cutting my hair would not help me in any way to find Mr. Right because love has to do with what is inside a person - not outside.
Just be sure to think about who you are and what you are really looking for in a relationship before making any final decision.
Thanks for listening,
Karsten
Well, if your potential boyfriends got problem with your hair the relation sure wont last either. I mean think about it, if you go with someone who isn't committed to you no matter who you are then what makes you think he's going to care about you? If you are just looking for sex there are places where you can pay money for that kind of thing but surely you are looking for more than that right? Just think about it. If you cut your hair you are going to regret it because it takes a very long time to grow it there, and you may not have a second chance due to other factor like male pattern baldness. There are countless men out there who wishes to have long hair but couldn't because of baldness, or work and stuff. Please do yourself a favor and think about this,
If you need someone my email address is above... feel free to talk. I may be in Taiwan but I sure as hell will try my best to be there for you.
If you want to get a haircut, that's cool. If you're doing it to get a bf, you're just sabotaging yourself.
We all know that most queer guys are like anyone else -- they follow trends and are scared of people who don't conform. In you postings you've always struck me as a guy with a good sense of what he wants. You don't need to conform to someone else's beauty ideal to find love. You probably just need to position yourself to meet other guys who are like you.
You can't become someone else's idea of attractive if you want to be happy. It took me a couple of decades to learn this.
Anyway, I wish you well in your decision. You'll still be a beautiful guy -- no matter the length of your hair.
cheers, Pete
Bad Ben!
Okay, so you're going to cut your hair because you can't find a boyfriend... that just... *sigh* I don't know. If you're looking for a serious relationship, cutting your hair is probably not the one thing that's going to change how people are attracted to you. If you want a decent relationship, real mates are going to overlook simple externalities like that.
That's my two cents. It's your head, so do as you wish, but it's a real shame.
-James
Well, first of all I wonder what kind of BF you are looking for? Most guys would love your hair. Personally, I'm not nearly as attracted to men with short hair as I am men with long hair. Well, it's your hair, do with it as you please, but I can assure you that you look hotter with long hair. Hummm...Can I say that here?
Will you still have hair like Beck? I saw your post, and about an hour later I opened up my music, and there was this promo for Beck's live album with this picture. I think this is the longest he's had it?
Ok, you knew this was coming, but I just have to say what "angelic" hair you have, and what a shame to cut it for any future BF. Yours is simply among the most beautiful hair I have seen on the board. I know, change is something we all need from time to time, and with the seasons, but, when you have such a gift of beautiful hair--what cute guy would not appreciate THAT about you!!! There is a man for you, and more than enough appreciation out there for you. Don't give up about your particular area!!! As one who has been in two wonderful relationships for decades, I know there are more than enough guys out there who would love to meet you. Use the net, network in your area. Be yourself. Not all gay guys are shallow!!!
You are model material, don't cave.
best of luck, stay on the board, no matter what. Let us all know what happens.
-Daniel
im not gay
Hey Ben
Perhaps before doing anything, at least give the two week rule a chance starting today. You just never know. Before 2 weeks is up there might just suddenly be a bf in your life.
The normal case goes something like this.
1. I can't find a bf or gf and don't know why.
2. It MUST be my hair! Gotta get it cut for approval from others so that I fit-in with the masses.
3. The beautiful hair gets cut.
4. Despite all, there is still no bf or gf that comes along.
5. The person suddenly realizes and regrets terribly what he has done.
6. He posts to the board of his mistake and that he will NEVER do such a thing again.
7. The guys all give him support as he goes through years of growth to get back what he has lost.
Life is funny. When least expected, that special someone suddenly appears out of nowhere in most ALL cases.
If a relationship hinges only upon the likes of how long someones hair is, that isn't a relationship at all. It is doomed from the start. The strong relationship is built on acceptance of the other person just the way they are.
Just some food for thought. Nothing more......nothing less.
With all good wishes to you Ben.
Justin~
Well Said Justin
I really hope you change your mind on getting your hair cut.
Most people originally grow their hair out because they think it looks cool, or maybe is just something interesting to do. However, as the growing progresses, the hair actually becomes a part of your IDENTITY. I have a feeling that as your hair gets cut, it will feel like someone is cutting away a part of you.
If i could only give you one piece of advice though, it would be to never cut your hair for anyone else. Your hair is YOURS. I've had girlfriends that have tried to get me to cut my hair during the "awkward" stage of hair growth. NONE OF THESE GIRLS STAYED LONG!!! lol A real true boyfriend or girlfriend, while they may disagree with your hair choice, will stick with you anyway, because you are you. If you wait it out long enough, someone is bound to see beyond the outer appearance and see who you are.
Hope that helped!!!
Austin (sinergy22)
Hi Ben,
First of all I think you have fantastic hair, and I wouldn't cut it if I were you.. But I'm not you and as we have all said you have to live your own life, be comfortable in your own skin (or hair in this case). Long hair may you, but maybe not at the length you're at right now. You sound pretty determined to change your look and you seem more upbeat than in your last post. Try a little trim, then keep it at that length for a while. Test drive it for a few months then go from there.
Whether you end up with long hair or a buzz cut remember to trust only those who care for you as the person you are and not the person they want you to be.
Take care and good luck,
Bruce
why cut your hair? there are gay guys who like long hair.
at least rember the 2 week rule and think it over
it takes a long time to grow long hair so please make sure
it is really what you want before cutting.
here is a link or 2 for gay long hairs
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BROSonline
DO NOT CUT YOUR HAIR! I have lots of gay friends that don't have long hair and i think it suits you. It is your choice but at least post an updated pic of what you look like right now. Goodluck and i wish you happines.
-Calvin
Ben
Im Very Disappointed to read the fact your even going to consider Cutting your hair on the reasons of it dont suit you anymore or because you cant get a boyfriend But please do me the Honour of posting a picture of yourself with Short Hair at least then you will get an honest opinion of what we all think of you having short hair again.
Ive said this before you ever consider you still may not get a boyfriend if you have short hair it can still happen you know Ben there is nothing wrong with your golden locks of hair I would have a very serious think about it before you go though with that task of cutting as you cant turn back the clock once you have cut it of PLEASE PLEASE reconsider cutting it of as it looks fanastic to me you might want to reflected on the fact that it will take minutes to cut it of SHORT but a YEAR & over to grow back LONG !!
Axel
Hi Ben,
I know the decision does have to be yours but you have an absolutely OUTSTANDING head of hair, I remember your pictures from your previous posts! I don't like to pry but are there any reasons, other than the ones you mentioned in your earlier posts? I hope you have really given this some serious thought, and used the two week rule, even better, make it the two month rule, before making any decision you may regret later.
All the best.
David
I really don´t think the problem lies in your hair mate. Wait two weeks before doing anything.
Been in this situation. You think because of your hair you can't get a mate.
Well, it's your choice, but at least you're cutting it not so short to begin with. I think that is wise. I cut mine from below shoulder to very short and didn't regret it until like a year later.
I'm not going to preach at ya, but do what you think you must.
Hey Ben sorry to hear that you are even considering cutting that awesome hair you've achieved as like the others stated its not like you can regrow it back quickly should you feel that you made a grave mistake to cut it. If you think your hair is really turning off people, which I would disagree with,why not try the following first.Actually I go out a lot in public like this too and that is to ponytail your hair,pull the tail over the top of your head and place a baseball cap on to cover the tail.Its amazing how you actually look like a typical short haired guy as I've fooled many people like that until you remove your cap!LOL.So maybe something to try at least as an experiment to see if others treat you differently thinking you are short haired but really in disguise!LOL.In my humble opinion though you are an awesome looking guy the way you are.Good luck and do let us all know how you are doing.Mark
lol!!!!!I'll try that!! *goes to find cap*
Hi
It is just hair, if you want it back grow it again. I am gay and can tell you I wold ask you out in a heart beat. one thing to consider is if you are not getting hit on now, you may not when it is short! I can tell you pretty boys like you are not the norm for gay guys. I think they are just used to the clone look, if you hold out for someone who likes you for you ...your hair is not going to make any difference.
One last request....can we see a pic before you cut it....you have beautiful hair!!!!!
Best wishes on your journey
Paul
I agree with you Paul, it's NOT going to make any difference!! You're still the same person inside. It's a shame if he does cut his hair cause it really is beautiful
Well thanks everyone for ur mesages , i sort of knew what u would all say.
I just feel that it is time, i dont feel comfortable with long hair anymore, and i want to be able to ware my hair down and do different things, but with my current length it is just too long do do anything with it !
it is allways in a ponytale which becided looking boring is damaging my hairline at the front.
and i am just sick to the teeth of being the one everyone stares at, i just cant take it any more and when i go to Uni i dont wanna be that kid that no one talks to because of the way i look and judged!
And as for the boyfriend thing well yea i believe that i will find a boyfriend more easley with long hair and even if i dont i dont think i am gonna miss having long hair now.
As for the the two week thing i have been thinking about it for a month so it may be time.
Becided i am gonna go to sholder length so i can still get in a ponytale, and then mabey shorter. so dont worry too much ! lol
Ben xxxx
this is a pic of me now, i have it down in this pic but i dont have it like this when i go out lol.
For one thing I would'nt even want to socialize with someone who would stare and avoid me just because of hair!What the Hell is that anyway as they would never be a true friend just for that reason.I would stick with the hair and whoever likes you will approach you regardless.For the rest of them Drop Dead!LOL.
Well even if you go this way at least its less dramatic.More of a gradual transition.Good luck and don't be a stranger.Mark
Its your head and its your hair... but you know just make sure its something you want and not something that a peer made you do or due to peer pressure. I know people can do very stupid things because of peer pressure.
What about this: why dont you like arrange your hair so that it looks short but without cutting it. If you are doing this for boyfriends that is...
It's your decision... but I feel really sad, you have gorgeous hair... oh well =S
Good luck anyways =)
Hi Ben,
of course you will find your partner with super-long hair, and that's because of who you ARE.
IF you do want to cut something, I'd sacrifice no more than 10 cm / 4 inches for now. That's almost a year of growth! That way, you can thest already, whether you like that length already better. On the other hand, I understand that you want to wear it open (which you still can do with hair at midback length). I understand that Jason "Ummagumma" is among those who prefer some length between shoulder and midback, but not all the way down to the waist.
How about changing your user name from "SITM" to "FGS" (fully-grown star)? ;-) I have to admit, I like the full length hair best...
All the best to you!
Hans-Uwe
Hello !
I understand what you feel...
First, don't cut your hair. it is very cool and very nice. Personally, i think it suits you very much and i find your color very nice.
Now, you can do what you want and you're the only one who is able to make the right choice. But everybody does the right choice and it does not matter the choice we did, because everybody is forced to be confronted to the reality at one moment of its life.
Just follow your heart and intuition, if you cut your hair, you'll maybe let it grow again someday, but don't cut your heart for anyone.
Dude,
I am a gay guy and have had my hair buzzed for a long time. I kept it buzzed because I thought that was the only way to be "conformist" in the gay community. I am now 7months into growing it out and am VERY happy that I made the decision to do so, AND it has actually increased the amount of attention I am getting from other guys (positive).
I think that I can safely say the gay community is changing and becoming more long hair tolerant if not desirable. The "buzzer" look is dying off. It definitely is dying off in the straight circles.
If you want to cut your hair, do it for you, not for what you think someone else might want.
Give it some time, things ARE changing.
Matt