new thread
It's been 5 weeks since I shaved my beard off as a Christmas present for my wife, and it's finally back to the length pictured in my avatar. I couldn't be happier, either, as I started missing it the second I finished shaving it. Despite having a waist-length mane, I felt naked - and chilly (grin) - without my beard.
As I noted in my last update, 5 weeks ago was the first time I've been clean shaven in a year. The look on my wife's face upon seeing me was absolutely priceless, and it greatly warmed my heart to see her so incredibly happy. In that moment, the pain she was feeling was a distant memory. It made me appreciate, that much more, how incredibly lucky I am to be married to such a completely devoted woman who loves me unconditionally, with or without the beard.
We've been married for 12 years. She's been disabled and homebound for the last 7 of those years. While I remain very thankful for her in letting me keep my beard as thanks for staying with her and being her caregiver, these last 5 weeks have given me some unexpected food for thought. We take our mobility for granted. We never expect to one day find ourselves in a position similar to the one my wife's had to deal with. Because of that, we find it difficult to appreciate our physical capabilities. We can't imagine what it must be like to not be able to walk or leave the house. When I think about the pain my wife has to endure every day, and the frustration she feels in not being able to enjoy something as fun as going to see a movie, my beard seems a trivial matter despite the resentment I often feel about our situation as a whole.
There are so many things we want to be able to do as a couple, but can't. When I originally expressed an interest in growing a beard, she said no. Minutes later, she expressed guilt she felt for saying no, after considering everything I have to deal with in taking care of her. She said letting me grow it was the least she could do as thanks for staying with her all these years.
Last night, I let her know how much I still want and need her in my life. Sometimes I think I don't tell her often enough, and I felt she would like to be reminded again. Every time I start to wonder just how much more I can take of being a caregiver, I think to myself, "Matt, you haven't invested the last 12 years of your life in this relatioship just to quit now." I just wish I wouldn't wonder how much more I can take.
One thing my marriage has certainly taught me is that life tests you, every day. When it does, all you have to do is remember why you married each other in the first place, and you can get through anything.
That was beautiful, man. I'm one who believes that love truly is a need for all people. The love that you and your wife obviously share is simply beautiful.
Also, I agree on the point that we often take our mobility for granted. I have never really thought about what life would be like if I were not able to get around and do the things I wanted to do. This post was definitely some food for thought, and it opened my eyes to the fact that the majority of my family, including myself, are so very lucky to not have any major mobility problems that would interfere with our daily life.
In any case, no matter what kind of odds may be stacked against you and your wife, love can overcome anything =)
Thanks for sharing this. I've been married for 8 years and your story definately provides a helpful perspective on domestic living and things. Relationships (and life) is damn tough. Best to share it with folks who your share a deep and mature love with.
Vince
Wow. I never knew. I'm literally at a loss for words.
Thanks for sharing. This is a haven for guys (and a few gals) who, through the common bond of a love for long hair, to connect with others. I am very happy that you and your wife have each other. While I usually have facial hair (in varying degrees of thickness), I do not much like shaving, either. How nice you were able to give this gift to your wife!
(I just finished reading the post on Off Topic posting....if that whole off-topic posting wer stringently upheld we would not be able to share stories such as these.)
Thanks again,
Shawn (Mr.Crow)
(http://www.myspace.com/manlocks) - Mr.Crow's photo archive of growing hair