new thread
I have been growing my hair out since last October, so this makes about 8 months, squarely in the awkward stage. I read all the pleas for help and advice about this stage, and that is part of the beauty of this site. You get support and help from board members. What I am observing about my own experience, which the experience of others adds to is this: There is really not much any of us can do to change our hair. Our hair is what it is. If it's thin, there is little you can do to make it thick and full bodied. If it is thick and full bodied or curly, there is little you can do to make it thin and straight--that won't finally damage it.
My hair happens to be thick and full bodied, so I get all the crazy flips and semi-curls that drives us all mad during the awkward stage.
This is what I have come to. This is my hair. This is the way it is right now. Little will change that, and even if I found something to change it, however I got it to change would probably not satisfy me. We all have these internal images of what we think we want our hair to look like, and, what I am learning and hearing from others is, none of us can grow the hair we imagine!
This is what is "working" for me. I follow the basic hair care suggestions I am hearing on this board. Beyond that, when I get up in the morning and wash my hair or rinse my hair, depending on what day it is, I look at my hair as it dries and I get ready to go out for the day, and I find that it does not match my expectation. Then, I have a choice. I can play the game of "some day", or "some product", or "some style" that will make me happy with it, or I can say: look, this is the way it is today.
I have been experimenting with the second choice, as I have the first one down pat. This is what I find. After I decide that this is it--this is the way my hair looks and acts today, right now, it suddenly doesn't look so bad. That flip in the back that I cannot control does not have to be controlled, so let it flip! And it catches the wind great!
This is the Zen of hair. It is what it is, and the transformative possibility is in accepting it for what it is, as it is, today. Finally, our hair is us. Maybe that's the point. Now, what was it we wanted to change?
Robert, 41 and growing his hair out for the first time
Right on!
Spoken like a true Zen monk ;) Good to hear someone who is growing their hair long for the sake of growing it long, as opposed to growing it to boost their ego and increase their vanity. Nobody really needs grow-faster vitamins or shampoo/conditioner junk. Just let your hair be an expression of who you are.
Matt, 17 and has been growing his hair for 19 months.
Matt, I completely DISAGREE with you on what you said: "as opposed to growing it to boost their ego and increase their vanity?" It's your hair! You can do whatever you want with it. You just contradicted yourself when you followed with "Just let your hair be an expression of who you are." Why do you think men as well as women want to grow their hair long? Answer: It's an expression of who they are! A statement to show the world how much they don't care what anyone else thinks of them. NOT AN EGO BOOSTER! To me, if someone wanted to boost their ego by growing their hair long, SO WHAT! They deserve it. All that time and patience why not!? It's their hair anyway!
IT'S AN EXPRESSION OF WHO THEY ARE!!!
SPLASHER78
nt
Great attitude, Robert! Thanks for the inspiring comments!
- Chris