new thread
...and I do mean "YEARS," I feel compelled, at last, to introduce myself to this wonderfully supportive community. In doing so I mean to state publicly my intention to grow my hair to a length that reaches at least just beyond my shoulders, and probably, eventually, to the middle of my back.
I am 30-years-old, a husband of one, and a father of three. When I graduated from high school nearly 13 years ago, I decided to let my hair grow long. Starting at a length of about one-inch, I allowed my hair to grow for 13 months, one week, and five days. Never before that time in my life, nor since, have I felt more "true" to myself. I can't explain with words why the length of my hair should matter in that regard, but I don't suppose the members of this community need to have this explained to them. You know what I mean.
For a reason that now seems utterly ridiculous, I cut off my hair way back in 1995, and have kept it relatively short ever since. I have attempted to grow it long several times in the intervening years, but have been, thus far, unsuccessful. No more. Blessedly, I have an incredible wife who not only supports my desire to grow my hair long, but actually prefers that I do so. My 11-year-old daughter prefers that I keep it short, but in being true to myself, I hope to take another step in teaching her the importance of self-respect, and of valuing people for who they are. My 6-year-old son and almost-2-year-old daughter have never stated a preference regarding how I look, apart from seeming to like it better when I have some facial hair (which both I and my wife also prefer).
The greatest potential hurdle that I forsee in this endeavor is the fact that I am a government employee. I work for a local (county-level) health department, as the coordinator of a grant-funded obesity prevention project. Fortunately for my hair (though not for my paycheck!), the grant funding for my project expires about one year from now. I am going to write for further funding, in hopes that this project continues. However, I am also resolute that I will NEVER AGAIN alter my body for the sake of employment. Frankly, I am appalled that such a requirement might be made of an individual, when the length of one's hair clearly has no effect on the ability to perform one's assigned professional tasks. I will do everything in my power to maintain a clean, professional appearance, but in NO WAY will I alter my physical self for the sake of adhering to a meaningless "dress code." If this means seeking other employment once this grant period has expired, so be it. I will do whatever it takes to provide for my family, but the cutting off of my hair will not be necessary to do so, and is simply, therefore, not an option.
I look forward to sharing my experiences with the members of this community, and to continue sharing in yours. I have been inspired by so many of you, to once again be true to myself. Thank you for helping me find the courage to embark on this journey of personal growth.
The image at the top of this post is of my meeting with childhood hero, Lou Ferrigno. My hair is presently about 2-1/2 inches longer than pictured.
I really hope it all goes well for you. From your picture, I imagine that long hair will suit you very well. That's cool for you to have gotten to meet the HULK!!! I used to love that show back from the 70's (mostly by way of 80's re-runs).
I am glad that you quit the lurking and made yourself known. Can't wait to see some future updates! It's good that your wife is supportive of you, and maybe your kid that doesn't prefer it will!
It's a wonderful thing to be true to oneself. Now, who was it that penned those immartal words... ... ;-) (To thine own self be true.)
No thanks needed...that's what we do.
Well, you will be an inspiration to those who are in similar situations.
I wish you the best of luck on your Long Hair Journey.
Maybe you can post a few progress pics along the way!
Best wishes!
Thanks for writing! I look forward to your future photos.
Speaking of employment, I just today accepted a job in a business casual environment, and the, uh, hhh-hmmm, issue has not been brought up yet. The job is all phone and computer work, with no visual customer contact, so I don't think it'll ever be a problem, but I'll probably go with a step above business casual for a bit, at least until I can get a feel for things(maybe longer), especially considering that I also have hair on my face. I never mind dressing up a bit anyway. (had to do it for 13 years in school.) :)
Great to have a former/future (though always an inner) longhair join the ranks. Congrats on the meeting with the Hulk.
(I am 30, too, and I remember having nightmares that the Hulk in his rage couldn't tell that I was a 'good guy'. Ha! I always insisted on watching it anyway. Kids.)
Good for you on the decision and hooray for your having a supportinve wife. Your daughter will turn around on it, too, as soon as her friends start to comment on on how much they like it.
See you around (when I actually make time to get on this board).
Shawn (Mr. Crow)
hi there..welcome!!glad you decided to get out of "lurk" mode and make yourself known!!:)
oh yes..we know what you mean.it just feels right for the hair to break over our shoulders.It just feels right for hair to brush against our back.it just feels right for hair to get in your face..it just feels right for many reasons!! :))
SOO true!! :))
I'm glad you are determined.I'm like that too!!hell,if a situation gets so bad that I have to wear a WIG to find a job,then so be it!! :))
thanks for an awesome post and hope you stick around and stick with your journey!!good luck! :))
Hey Validus - Welcome to the board! As you know from lurking, it really is quite a unique place in terms of support, information, and comaraderie!
I enjoyed reading your intro and agree with your observation about feeling true to yourself when growing out your hair. It's what I call being "authentic." I'm 51 and over the years have tried and enjoyed many different hair styles. When I finally grew my hair long it was like "coming home." For me it is a spiritual/ancestral thing. I liken it to the many American Indian, Celtic and/or Polynesian/Samoan cultures, just to name a few, where the tradition was (and still is)for men to wear their hair long. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong Century... BUT things are a'changin and these days you see more and more men letting it grow.
Glad to have you aboard - Bruce'ster
I know what you mean, Bruce. I've spent much of my own life feeling like something of an anachronism, too. But then I think, "If people like us aren't here, now, who will pass the 'torch of authenticity' on to future generations?" I'm pleased to make your acquaintance.
Welcome aboard, Validus, you will find an awesome community here who will be supporting you 100% of the way.
I really enjoyed reading your post, you could not have said things better about being true to yourself and the importance of self respect. I can tell that you have already become a longhair at heart. Although your hair may not be long now, your journey to long hair is already half over since you have decided in your heart that you REALLY want to have long hair.
I am really looking forward to your updates in the months and years ahead as you grow your hair to mid back and beyond.
All the best,
David
Well, it is about time you "unlurked" ! HA!
Welcome; and we look forward to following your journey.
Walter White Tail
Your face (and smile) reflects how genuine and good you are as a person, just as your writing in this post does.
I wish you all the best in your decision, i feel it is the right one for you and no matter what, at the end of the day you will have your families support, OUR support and the support of your own convictions, which from this post seem very strong :)
And you got to meet Big Lou! Apart from a few extra wrinkles, he is looking great.
(How did you manage that?)
And IMO, the facial hair really does suit you!
Thanks for stepping out of the shadows-it is good to have you with us here in the light :)
In the summer of 2006, I spent a weekend in Chicago with my brother and an old buddy from high school. One of the events we hit was the Wizard World comic book/sci-fi convention. We arrived early in the morning, when there were practically no other people there. We walked into the main hall, and there was Big Lou, all alone, setting up his booth. I made a beeline for him, introduced myself, and told him that my very first memories of life are of watching him on t.v. when I was 2-years-old. We chatted for a bit, took a couple of pictures, and I bought both of his books. He gave me an autographed photo with each. Lou Ferrigno is an EXTREMELY nice man, a quiet and gentle giant, with a warmth of spirit that just pours off of him. This was definitely one of the high-points of 2006, for me.
Wow! You got to meet Lou, and you were at a comic book/sci-fi convention...how do you spell heavan again?
And that he is in nice in person as he always appeared in the media (e.g. pumping iron, his workout video, in interviews) is really great to hear.
A fantastic memory eh? :)
Welcome, long-time-lurker. I'm glad you have a supportive spouse, and I wish you the best in dealing with the job situation.
Mouse
Welcome! and man that guy's huge!
Y'know, I was actually kind of worried that once I saw him in person, this life-long hero figure would no longer be "bigger than life." Let me just tell ya, Big Lou does not disappoint. I'm not what I consider a small person... I'm 6 feet tall, and a pretty solid 220 pounds, but next to Mr. Ferrigno I felt like a child.
Hi - Welcome to the board. I really liked reading your introduction. It sounds like having long hair is a really deep, spiritual thing for you, much more so than me. I'm sure it'll be a great journey for you.
Dave
Validus,
As a public employee, you could not be safer. Most people do not realize the paradox that the government has limited ability to interfere with your private life.
This is one of the reasons that some political movements want to privitize everything, for a private company can require you to urinate into a cup, cut your hair, shave your beard, jump through hoops, etc. etc. etc.
There are somethings which should never be pivitized: public schools, prisons, law enforcement, etc. etc. Of course there are idiots in our country who consider public roadways socalistic, but let them be privitized and they can control who can drive on them. The government can set speed limits, but not public access.
This is a very complicated issue, but just remember, as long as it is part of the government, at least as long as we have a democratic government which affirms individual civil liberties, the government is off limit even to the hair of your head. With those in power now, time may be limited. This is not a political statement: it is about the freedom to have long hair and full employment.
Think about this.
James
Thank you, James! This is actually a perspective I had not yet considered, and the clear way in which you've phrased it is very encouraging. I am confident that I will be able to maintain a clean, professional appearance through all stages of growing out my hair, even if it means using styling products (which I generally prefer not to do) on workdays. I am able to effect a "slicked back" look without much trouble. If I dress appropriately (collared shirt, tie... that sort of thing), I don't think I'll have anything to worry about.