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Hey ppl,
Ive been a lurker here for two years as ive grown and been forced to cut my hair at least 3 times. This time my hair has grown for around a year, and Im being forced by teh parents to cut it. Again. Im feelin pretty emo about too this time lol. I really dont think my hair looks that bad. Sure its too thick, and it curls at the ends, and its a bit frizzy when it gets humid, but Idont think it looks "hideous" or "creepy" or look as though im a "freak in a hippie commune" as some ppl have tried to lead me to believe. Im going out tomorrow to get a straightening iron in a day or so to see if i can change their minds if its straighter. So basically what are your thoughts. Do you think it looks that bad?
Your hair looks good, I guess it hard to tell how it works with your face in general since we don't see your face, but alone it looks fine. Sorry to hear that you are being forced to cut it. Straightening isn't very good for one's hair as you probably know, and I don't know if that would change your parents' minds since they seem intent on you cutting it. I'm sure you've already tried reasoning with them many times before. Anyway, hope it works out in the end.
I see no problem whatsoever with your hair here. No problem at all... Nope, not a single thing wrong with it. Quite STUNNING head of hair, in fact! And no no no, don't cut it, --- don't change a thing about it! Just that I'm having a little trouble with, umm... How should I say this tactfully?....
Your FACE, --- do you OWN one??
- Ken in San Francisco
I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream / Harlan Ellison : )
I think it looks great!! I work for a large conservative company and htey have never had a problem with my hair, and mine is mid back. I keep it in a tail at work and there cool about it. I even asked one time if they had an issue with it and they were kind of suprised I even asked. They said no there was no problem and I do meet with the public in my job and with alot of people outside my regular job, including elected officials. So I feel for the most part in todays work there are pockets of issues but on the whole its much more accepted. I say keep it if you can and you can even refer to my note here and I will even email you in more detail what I do if it helps. Take care longhairedone
Looks really good to me. While this is always your decision, and it could end up escalating the problem, my personal opinion is that I think you should try to take a stand. Remember, this sort of stuff is almost never about "looks", it's about power.
Dave K
How can they force you to cut it? Pretty harsh...
Your hair looks great!
You should discuss the matter with your parents in a very diplomatic way. Let them know how much your hair means to you. Let them know that you would not be as happy if you lost it and you might even let them take a look at this hyperboard. There are some very sharp people here and many have respectable, good paying jobs, (I wish I was one of them, but, what the hell!)
Furthermore, please, show your face next time. If you are beautiful then great! If not, then join the club.
Best wishes.
Jeffrey.
Well, from what I can tell, your hair looks great. I am quite sorry your parents are so close-minded and controlling. My mom was like that, but she never really liked me in the first place, especially after what I did to her. :P
I'm 20 years old now, and as an adult my dad doesn't question me about it anymore. You should tell your parents that they are terrible people for dictating the way you wish to look.
If they kick you out of the house, just stay gone for a few weeks or months. You would be surprised how hospitable strangers can be when you're desperate, and it's also very easy to live off of water and bread. If they threaten to cut your hair while you sleep, you can try setting up traps in your room to hurt or injure them. This sort of thing worked for me. Mind you, I did have to deal with psychologists for a long time for such behaviors, but I already had to deal with them in the first place.
Dictating your personality is an evil of the highest order, and while you may not be able to prevent anything, you can disown your parents. I would never speak to them, I would say bad things about them, and I would ignore punishments. They took many things away from me, such as lighting, all forms of entertainment, furniture, and the like, and I had nothing during that period to do except rot in my room and do chores and homework. If you can withstand that sort of punishment then maybe they will become slightly more lenient (thankfully for me, enduring that sort of punishment doesn't effect me.)
A parent who controls you to such a degree can be no good for you. Who knows how mentally sound I could've been if my parents had just left me well enough alone instead of telling me how to live my life. Parents tend to sadistically enjoy making their descendants into their image like their ancestors before them.
I really wish I could help you better, and I hope my suggestions help you. Unfortunately for you, you likely value your life a lot more than I value mine. The only real reason I'm alive now is because I enjoy making other people happy, and I'm also scared of doing myself in. My parents would constantly punish me, but instead of getting upset about it, I would just lose myself in my head and live in my own little dream world, so there was nothing they could take away from me that would "teach me a lesson". The beatings also scarcely affected me, I just took it and cried like I did with the school bullies. If they wouldn't accept me for who I was, I would just let them do what they will, because in the end I knew they could not seriously injure or kill me or they would face a worse punishment than me.
Have a serious discussion with your parents. Ask them why you can't have long hair, ask them why they think it is such a terrible thing. Inform them that stereotypes like stoners, hippies, and metal fans are far less severe than females being less mentally capable or black people all being rap fans. Stereotypes like that do nothing but keep humanity at war with itself. By making you cut your hair, they are just reinforcing an old stereotype that needs to die, and they are primative and ignorant for not allowing something that is far less extreme than things like tatoos or piercings.
Just look at me, I have long hair and while I'm not the most ideal human in the eyes of most, I am probably one of the nicest and most honest people anybody could hope to meet. Having long hair doesn't always prevent you from getting a job. I recently had a job interview at Walgreens, and the manager said that I was very nicely dressed. I came in with a dress shirt, dress shoes, slacks, and a tie with my shirt tucked in, with a fancy pen in the shirt pocket and whatnot. Not only did I look very nice, my respectful manner was also helpful. I was surprised he never brought up the hair topic once. I just took care of drug testing, and I should be working there soon.
There is nothing wrong with your hair at all, but there IS something wrong with your parents if they wish to discriminate against their own child for such a simple request as this.
Parents "usually" want the best for their children. Even if they like long hair they know that many people don't. I recommend being diplomatic and if that doesn't work then grow your hair out when you make your own living. Ultimately, that's what it comes down to and personally I think that's fair enough. I have found that once you start making your own way, if you work really hard, most employers will be gald to keep you employed, because, most people don't work hard.
Remember the golden rule? The one that has the gold makes the rules.
Young people hate to hear that. I did too. Hard work will usually nullify that rule to a some extent.
Jeffrey.
If you are over 18 just leave home. We all need to sooner or later. If you have no resources, you can get a cheap room and a job however little it pays. You can go to Vocational Rehabilitation and they will help you pay for any training you might need to get a better paying job. Whatever your professional or personal aspriations you can do it without oppressive parents. If you work and stody hard, you can do it on your own.
In time your parents will be begging you to come back home, on their knees, repentant that they rejected you on such trivial grounds, and if not they are not worth coming home to.
Life will not always be easy, and who says it should. But you can achieve more with the freedom to be who you are than you will with the submission to misguided parents.
You will be able to show your face to the people who support you.
Caledonian.
In what way are they forcing you? I think all you need to do is talk to them, I don´t know how old you are but this is a great time to show them that you are no longer a kid, but a grown man with his own ideas. Tell them that your hair is part of your personality, that you want it. They have the right to have oppinions, but they should NOT force you.
I think most parents will accept this and stop naging after a talk like this.
Its your decision, not your parents. If you want to let it grow, do it. You dont have to cut it just because ur parents want it. I wasliving at my grandma a year ago and she threw me out because I didnt let it cut. My mom likes my hair so much especially when Im wearing a ponytail and everythings okay. Get a job somewhere and le eave your home.
Well first off, sorry for not showing my face, its just that Ive never really been comfortable revealing what I look like on a message board, so I never have. Secondly, I have tried the diplomatic approach and It has sometimes worked in the past and other times not. In one final attempt to chance their minds, yesterday while they were gone, I let condishoner sit in my hair for longer than normal, and I washed my hair with cold water, combed it back without a part. I also brought up the issue that its not right to discriminate on your own son. and....
The hair can stay ^^
sorry for taking your time, I just needed somewhere to rant and get a second opinion on if my hair looks ok or not.
Well done! It sounds like you handled the situation in a very mature, responsible, and diplomatic manner. I'm glad your parents were able to realize how important your hair is to you, and I am willing to bet that they respect the way in which you stood up for and remained true to yourself.
Whoa, congratulations dude! It's not often I see parents listen to their children, and I'm surprised they respect your decision. Very cool, good job. I was seriously worried for you. ;_;
First off there is nothing to be sorry for, I would hope most here would understand about your face not being shown, I certainly understand. Second good job on both yours and your parents part, shows that there is good mutual respect there I would think. I have to believe for the most part parents want the best for the children and they realized this was a good thing for you. I have had longhair so long that many wouldn't know me without it LOL, that doesn't mean everybody likes if, but it is me and thats who I am. I have a great job and family and some of my extended family have asked me if I was going to cut it and I just say hmmmm no. and my kids don't seem to worry about there dad having longhair and think its cool, so its good to be a cool guy like you just as it is to be a cool dad for me . Keep it up and don't be shy. Also don't say sorry for taking up peoples time here, thats what the board is for, to help when anyone can. Take care longhairedone
I think you hair is perfect, i myself wish i had your hair. However, i think it really boils down to you yourself. If you are at the age where the parents will actually respect you for whatever you choose to do, i suggest that leave the hair the way want it,let it grow out for goodness sake and let the chips fall where they fall. I think parents will keep on bringing the sore subject, or give you grief etc as long as you are their son. To summarize this, the ball is in your court.. Good Luck.
You've got quite nice hair, very straight! Guys like me has to wait for a just-right wind blow and hope to get at least some neglectful elegance or be tied by rubber band and clips all the day, but straight hair is a god's gift!
Yeah, I had problems with parents as well, once they even wanted me so much to go to barber, that they convinced me by force, sweets and money (quite a lot of them for that age). Also, they were doing many things they don't do anymore and are much happier without that. Believe me, people doesn't become mature at all, just because they have family!
These wrong stereotypes originates from a socially-cultural level (good things like relationships, neighbourhood, but also fogeys and "tribal taboos") and nowadays, when the times have changed and we have this achieved, we should work on personal level. Now, even a teenager is able to write a perfect, innovative essay or computer program, but some parents doesn't understand it yet. You may try to explain that to them, being open-minded is becoming very important!
do what you can to keep it, it is not that bad, and i hope your parents come around. how old are you, and don't you have a say of your own, obviously you like it long and it must have taken a while to get that long.
please respond back to my personal e-mail with your real name and site name. i have trouble matching names on this site to real names and would like to add you to my list of contacts.
thanks.
mikeh
mikeh: Hey ppl,