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Hi everyone,
I'm trying to assess if I have hair damage. I typically wash in the early evening, and after drying, etc., my hair looks pretty good, nice and smooth. (I wash in the evening because of my early AM start to the workday, washing in the AM would not give me sufficient time to dry unless I got up at 4 AM) However, in the AM, my hair is FULL of tangles, and even detangling can't get it back to the appearance of the evening before. I find my hair tangles very easily, I try to be gentle with my hair, but am concerned about tangles and damage. I'm not sure how easy it is to spot split ends. My vision is not bad (I don't wear glasses, and I can read fine without them, but I can't focus in REALLY closely to see splits (I noticed Ken said he can see them easily, I have to admire guys of my age who have vision like that!) I hate the thought of cutting to lose length, but perhaps I don't have any choice.
Another thing I would like to know is what do you do with your hair at night. I don't have long enough or thick enough hair to braid or put in a bun, as I know some of the guys with really long hair do to protect it, perhaps some of you are lucky enough to wear it loose and still have it perfect in the morning. (I use satin pillowcases, by the way)
Any tips appreciated, thanks.
David
hi there Dave,
I'm not entirely sure whether split ends cause tangles,but Absalom mentioned in a post below that he took magnifying glasses and examined his tangles up close,and determined that the splits cause tangles.Moreover,I remember Jason posted a while ago saying that after he had gotten a trim,he could run his brush through his hair really easily,so I guess that's evidence that splits cause tangles.However,I have tangles that originate far more up the shaft than at the end,so I'm guessing splits alone can't acount for these tangles (and I do have LOTS of splits,my ends are in splitsville,but I'm just gonna tough it out and not get a trim until I reach my goal of mid-back).I'm guessing that bed-head is one reason I have lots of tangles.
don't worry about the tangles though,as long as you detangle with the fingers,you should be fine.as for the splits..if your vision is bad,then perhaps you should get someone to examine your hair for splits.If you really feel like you need a trim,I think cutting about 1/4-1/2 an inch should get rid of all the splits!!that will only set you back for about a month.no big deal.
I sleep with my hair loose..in fact I don't have satin pillowcases-sheets (I'd rather have satin sheets than cases,as I don't really sleep on a pillow lol),so my bed-head is pretty bad.(you saw it for yourself lol).my hair isn't long enough to braid it or put in a bun (I remember you mentioning that Gollan has a special sleeping bun,I wonder haow that looks like).
have you considered using a blowdryer?that way you can avoid the effects of bed-head (I know blow-dryers are taboo on this board lol!)
hope this helps :)
Hi Jacob,
Thanks for the reply. I have to say bedhead is a horrible thing, I have to admit that even though I have satin pillow cases, I toss and turn so much lately that my head is hardly ever on the pillow. My insomnia has been just horrible lately, I REALLY don't know what to do about it, that's why you'll see me posting on the MLHH at 2.00 in the morning, lol! (I get to sleep just fine, but wake up many times in the night)
Actually, I should consider myself lucky, visionwise. I have never worn glasses, distance or otherwise, and read just fine. It's only trying to focus in really close to see splits that I have trouble. And I am terrified of going to a hairdreeser, all they ever seem to want to do is CUT,CUT, CUT! Perhaps I'll try seeing them with a magnifying glass or something, and just trimming the splits. I have the feeling my splits, if I have them, could be leftover damage from my earlier straightening.
I see you mentioned mid back as your goal, I thought you had been thinking about waist length?
All the best,
Dave
David,
In a recent broadcast on public radio, a caller asked Dr. Zorba Pasteur about the safety of using over-the-counter sleep aids. Dr. Zorba, whose advice I feel is extremely trustworthy, said that products such as Tylenol PM work by using the same antihistamine found in Benadryl. He stated that they are perfectly safe to use on a nightly basis. They are non-habit forming and present no short- or long-term deleterious side effects. I have personally, on occassion, used Benadryl (1 or 2 capsules about an hour before bed) to help in getting to sleep, and have never experienced any undesirable side effects. My only caution is to make sure you NEVER take it if you are going to be driving or operating any sort of machinery. For those of you looking for an antihistamine to treat allergies that DOESN'T make you tired, I've had the best luck with Claritin.
Thanks Validus for the insomnia tips! As much as I hate to use any sort of medications, perhaps I should give Benadryl a try.
All the best,
David
I know how you feel, David. I'm not a big fan of medications either, but I have used Benadryl to good effect, and it hasn't caused any problems. If you're looking for more natural options, you might consider chamomile and/or valerian root, either in tea or tablet form.
do these work well for people who have difficulty falling asleep,as opposed to people who can fall asleep easily but wake up in the middle of the night?I have TREMENDOUS difficulty falling asleep,but once I fall asleep I can stay asleep for 12 hours lol!!
I haven't had many instances of waking up in the middle of the night, although it does happen occassionally. Every time I have taken 1-2 Benadryl capsules an hour or so before bed, I've been able to fall asleep, and have slept the whole night through.
Hi David, I like you do not take any type of pills. Insomnia could have many causes, eating too late, drinking coffee or tea late, not hydrating yourself throughout the day, eating spicy or processed food, problems at work or things on your mind.
A great way i find of relaxing and going to sleep is this: lie still on your back, think nice things maybe counytryside walks, concentrate on deep slow breathing.
Now you are going to relax your body starting at your toes, concentrate on them and when they feel relaxed move onto your feet, then your legs and work all the way up thru your whole body until you get to your head.
Don't rush and don't move onto another part of your body ubtil you have relaxed the part you are on, by the time you get to your head you will more than likely already be asleep.
Thanks Dave for the insomnia tips! My biggest problems is night time wakenings, I get to sleep easily, but wake up multiple times at night, thinking and worrying about various things while awake. I'm a "morning person", always early to bed, early to rise (5.45 AM on workdays) Perhaps your idea of thinking relaxing things before going to sleep is a good idea, maybe this would stop the idea of night time awakenings. (And I always avoid coffee after mid afternoon, that would be the death of a good night's sleep for sure!)
Thanks again,
David
You are not the only one, my hair also tends to look rather messy in the mornings before i go to school so i always comb it carefully with a wide tooth comb, but my hair is always the best a few hours after it's been washed.
Altough i seldom get nasty tangles, unless i go without washing for 4-5 days or so.
Simon
i'm also concerned with the tangles... so i spent a lot of time untagling my hair gently.
but i dont think i have any split end , i'v maybe spotted one or two split but i'm not sure.
i cant sleep with hair tied or in a bun or i will make up with my hair itching like hell and very very big piece of skin in my hair... (i have some scalp issues lol...)
and i wake up with really messy hair sometime and less messy, depends on how i slept
but ig i sleep with wet hair, i wake up with really really really messy hair and it wont become normal until a day or two !
dont know if it helped but it's how it'ss like for me
Cya
Hi David
Sorry to hear that you are having all of these troubles. Long hair does take some time, but what you are describing sounds to myself as if you may very well have Split-Ends. These raise terrible problems with snarls and tangles like you wouldn't believe. I would be inclined to go to a Salon, or several to ask opinions. If they all match-up I would then go and get ONLY the hairs that are split cut.........and they ONLY have to be snipped-off right above the split. It's called "Target and remove." This is NOT the same as getting a trim. It is amazing how easy hair becomes after these little nastys are snipped away. Then the hair becomes a dream to work with.
Oh yes, about washing. (Of course everyone is different.) As my hair got longer and longer, an everyday washing (Shampoo and Conditioner) worked contrary. Now I only have to wash on the average 2 times a week. I don't care what oils others may be using to make up the difference of what is lost after washing. The best oil of all is the natural oil coming from you scalp. This was what nature intended. Perhaps you might try washing every other day as an experiment? You may very well notice that on the 2nd day of NOT being washed that your hair is the best of all.
And last but not least. Have you tried "Finger-Combing" at all? It is the most gentle way to treat your hair of all. I learned of this tip from EdG, and am I ever grateful for knowing of it! And just look at what he has attained!
Good luck
Justin~
Thanks so much, Justin, for your answers.
Truthfully, I am terrified of Salons, so many of them seem to want to simply cut, not many really appreciate that a guy wants to grow his hair LONG! Perhaps I'll try the seek and destroy method myself and use a pair of really sharp scissors, although I may need a magnifying glass to see the ends. (My eyesight is good, I can read fine and don't wera glasses, but I can't see SUPER close up things as well as I used to, I also notice you don't wear glasses yourself, so I assume you have good eyesight and can handle the splits yourself)
Actually, I don't wash everyday. My shampooings are limited to twice a week with conditioner only washes on other days, some days I give my hair a day off and don't do anything.
I'm not sure how well fingercombing would work on my hair, it does need some combing to smooth it, I don't know how civilized it would look if I didn't use a comb. (You have straight hair, which is always easier to work with!)
Also, did you see my post about my dream trip about getting to the west coast, what do you think? I would LOVE to meet you in person as well. Right now the trip is probably around two years away, but it will probably take some time to plan.
All the best, I would LOVE to hear from you about my planned trip!
David
No problem David.
Yes, and there is good reason to be terrified of them. Just look at what happens to some of the guys that post here when they ask for a slight trim and walk out the door with 1/2 of their hair removed by a butcher!
Not really so. I DO wear glasses (for distance) but like yourself have to remove them to see things close-up well now. I have in well over 4 years had two bouts with split-ends and they were taken care of at a Salon. However I made SURE that they understood what I was there for ONLY and watched every snip to assure they wouldn't go sissors crazy.
All of this can be such trial and error depending on the persons hairtype. I am even finding out new things despite being at a rather advanced stage of having long hair slightly below waist level.
I have straight hair now because of weight I think. When it was your length it looked somewhat similar. After Finger-Combing one can go to a wide toothed comb and work their way down to a much smaller width. At my stage, Finger-Combing actually looks as if a comb or brush had been used. At a shorter stage it wouldn't.
I am most sure you would enjoy the trip as along the way it might be possible to meet other long hairs that are members here other than we on the West Coast. I am only one state above CA. and it is more beautiful here than you could ever imagine. (I came from the East Coast originaly.) Funny thing about the West Coast. Once you have been here you really stay. (When returning home all that can be thought about is how to get back here full time. The pull is just too strong...........at least that was my experience.) As happy as I am here in Oregon, I STILL think of CA. and my three trips there back in the 90's. My ideal of all is the Santa Cruz area which is about 50 miles south of SF. Just a hop, skip and a jump away from Ken, Scott, Bill etc. plus the benefit of easlily being within short driving distance of SF itself. I will NEVER EVER leave the West Coast for anything! To myself it is the most special place to live in the whole country.......and am I ever glad I tore-out of CT. forever. NO REGRETS!
You might be setting yourself up for a trap though enjoying yourself so much while here and the gorgeous surroundings as well as climate. By "trap" I mean what I have spoken of above. To have to return and not be able to get back here full time mignt prove to be the worst nightmare you have ever had. However, if you didn't make the trip, no doubt you would dream about the West Coast. So, you might as well take the trip and see what it is all about.
Justin~
ps: Wa. State is wondrous. And the San Juan Islands that divide us from Victoria BC? I am at a loss for words.
Thanks so much, Justin, for all your answers to my questions, I had always though you had really straight hair, hopefully my hair will look like yours some day, I am contemplating trying to find the splits myself, but I might try phoning some salons to see if they specialize in long hair if i am not successful.
About my trip, I would love to meet you in person! I would specifically make the trip to Oregon after visiting California to see you, it means that much, but would never want to intrude on your privacy in any way. In fact, I DO plan to try planning my route to meet other guys from the MLHH on the way as I drive across the states.
David
I bet the only people you could trust is another longhair who appreciates the long hair to be growing. I want to find someone close who appreciates longhair in NYC metro area that would help me with tangles and split ends so as tio not cut too much off. I could help someone else do the same I agree even though my stylist encouraged me to grow it last time I went for split ends an inch came off and an inch is a lot in the awkward stage. You have to be careful and I hope if you do it yourself you dont end up butchering it and cutting too much off. Good Luck
David:
Based on your avatar pic, your hair looks long enough to braid. I would certainly recommend at least putting it in a segmented tail for sleeping. Everything else you've described sounds perfectly normal to me. It's all part of being a long-hair.
Randy
David:
You can go to the drug store and buy a pair of glasses that will give you magnification only. People tend to lose close focus beginning in their mid 40's. I'm 53 and don't wear glasses, but do need these 1.25 magnification glasses for clear reading of small print and such. They are relatively inexpensive and will do the trick.
George
Hi George, I never thought about that, perhaps that is all I need to see REALLY small things close up. (I don't need glasses for reading, its only looking at things less than 2 or 3 inches away that it starts to get blurry)
David
Until you can visit I have a bunch of thoughts for you David. I don't recall how fine your hair is but if the strands are on the thin side they can be tangle prone by nature and need gentle handling. One solution may be a sleeping cap, not necessarily the kind grandmothers wear but a painters cap will do as it does for me while others sleep on an updo. None of those options are so good for wet hair though so positioning your hair above (perhaps eventually over the top of the bed as you grow) you might work once you solve the restlessness problem. The longer your hair gets the better it stays in place.
Another things to consider is hair care. Are you using conditioner and does it have silicones (look for ingredients ending in 'cone')? If silicones are in your shampoo or conditioner it may be wrong for your hair and causing breakage leading to tangles. Alternately, silicones can be what you need to glue split ends together if that is the cause of tangles.
Justin was also on the right track when he suggested less washing and some people have had success washing with conditioner only on alternate days or even dropping shampoo from their routine completely. David, you are also getting long enough now to only shampoo the scalp rather then the length and that would help preserve the protective sebum in your length if that is indeed your problem. Oiling works great to replace the moisture at the hair tips which reduces splits or tangles from other causes.
As for your planned visit the timeline actually may be a boon. Knowing about a meet far in advance allows others far away to plan a visit too. David, you just may have started the ball rolling for a relatively large meet that might spare you some extra stops on your journey. I'm looking forward to your visit!
Elizabeth
Thanks so much Elizabeth for the tips, I had never thought about a cap at night for the bedhead, I never sleep with wet hair. My hair IS fine and not that thick, perhaps that's where the tangles are coming from. I have tried both silicone and non silicone based conditioners, silicones seem to leave my hair easier to manage right after washing, the tangles are always worst the following morning. I do admit i did not try the non silicon based conditioner for a very long time, I have heard that I need to try for several weeks to find if cones free is for my hair type. (My hair felt drier than usual for the few days I went cones free) In addition, I only shampoo twice weekly, with conditioner only washes on the other days, my hair is too dry otherwise.
I am really looking forward to meeting you on my proposed trip as well! Right now, I am thinking around the spring of 2009, I don't really want to drive across the states in the winter when there could be a lot of storms. (My actual retirement is late next year) Perhaps, after our get together, some of us from the MLHH could get together at a nice restaurant, perhaps even the one Rick mentioned to you in his post! (Who knows, perhaps I'll want to STAY in California, although most of my family lives in Nova Scotia, except for a nephew who lives in Chicago)
All the best,
David
Not sur about these bed caps, you gotta look your best always surely!
If I have to choose between my black silk grandma cap and mega tangles the next morning...well, I hate tangles.
If anything, you'd come off as the Wolf in Grandma's cap and gown, Trolleypup.
LOL
The bed cap (well, in fact a normal cap but you've got the idea) helped me with getting over the early "awkward stage". Though the hair are always messed up a bit in the morning, the cap prevented major tangles.
Well, basic idea is to keep the hair tied while sleeping. I don't know if just a rubber band + clips will help, or a real silk sleeping cap is necessary, you've got to try ;)
Sleeping on your mane definitely messes it up. There is no way around that. Washing undoes that and leaves your mane it at its best, but you can't do that if you go to work very early, as you say.
Washing every day is usually not the best approach to having a healthy mane, though, so even guys who do have time to wash in the morning are often going to go to work with the same problem you have.
Here's the problem as I see it....
You see how great your mane looks after washing, and you want it to look that way all the time. However, frequent washing is not good for your mane, so having it "just washed" all the time will make it look worse, not better. So you have to accept that some of the time, if not all of the time, you're going to work having slept on your mane and having not washed it.
What I'd do is experiment with combing or brushing to see what the best you can do with it "dry" is, and then go with that on days you can't wash.
Bill
Hi David,
The best thing to do is have someone who knows a thing or two about hair to have a look, preferably a stylist who you trust. If they recommend having a trim it's probably worth it. If you trim an inch off now it should grow back in 2-3 months. It's a lot better than putting off a trim for the sake of a bit more length (which I once did), as when you eventually do come to have a trim more hair will need to be taken off (I lost four inches to my last trim : (). If your hair is prone to breakage due to dryness etc its best to have regualarish trims. I have mine every 6-8 months.
Try not to worry too much though : )
Neil
I think one way to show is to take close up picture of the hair, with macro on. However its hard to tell unless someone who knows what they are doing touches it and see if its damaged.
Hi again everyone,
Thanks for all the tips! I certainly have a lot of ideas. Perhaps the first thing I'll try is a "seek and destroy" mission to look for splits, they are hard to see, and investigate whether I can trim them myself, although the back hair needs more length before I can pull it around to the front to see the ends. If that doesn't work, I'll probably have to look for a hairdresser, something I dread, but hopefully I can find one who will remove ONLY splits, not length. A couple of other ideas include change in shampoo/conditioner, possibly experimenting with cones free for a longer period than I tried before. Another possibility is limiting myself to finger combing if the hair isn't too messy by not using a comb.
I have a sneaking suspicion some or all of this damage is due to the straightening I stopped doing 5 months ago, coming back to haunt me again. I really don't want to have to take the more drastic step of losing significant length by cutting.
Thanks again,
David
S&D can make a huge difference...don't worry about getting them all, even doing it for a bit when you have good light (sunlight is best) adds up over time. Get good hair quality scissors and ONLY use them on hair...bad scissors won't cut cleanly, will crush the ends and actually cause more splits and damage.
You could try dropping the shampoo entirely and only washing using conditioner, gentler and keeps the hair more moisturized. I use a comb (fine toothed) but only after a full and complete finger detangling, so it mostly just smooths the hair more neatly.
Yeah, accumulated damage...you just baby it and do what you can to keep it in the best possible condition while growing out.