new thread
Hello Longhairs!
I just posted a reply to Neo Hippy, so I thought I should at least formally say Hullo.
I've lurked here forever but have never posted.
Reason being -- I was a very short-lived LH before MPB hit me.
Here is the soggy nutshell:
Raised in extreme fundamentalism, (even attended THE fundamentalist college).
I was taught that Jesus had short hair and men with long hair were homosexual.
I bought into that world until I was 20 -- even tough I had always wanted to have long hair. (And gay ... but that's another story, and probably another message board .....)
I started growing hair long at 21, but by 24 the mpb was too apparent and I had to cut it short.
I started rogaine and it seemed to abate the hair loss, but the damage had been done. Any attempt to grow again would result in my picture being engraved on a hundred dollar bill.
Of course, my former upbringing made me think that my look was getting too "messianic" (long hair, beard, etc) and that God cursed my scalp because of it.
However, reason dictates that all of the men in my family on both sides are bald or nearly so -- and thus genetics had me pegged from day one. Rogaine has ensured that I have more hair remaining than any of my forebears ..... but still .....
LH is not an attractive option for me.
I have looked into various transplant places, but have always been afraid of ending up looking like a 1970s rumpus room carpet.
Then I saw Neo Hippy's photos and ..... HOPE!!
Suffice it to say, I am a LH in spirit and have been all my 35 years -- just prohibited by circumstances and ultimately nature -- despite an all too brief three years of long haired happiness.
So ..... dare I believe?
Is there hope?
lifobryan
Oh, what the heck, lifobryan, Jump aboard! Not everyone approves -especially outside of this awsomely supportive group -of men with MPB growing what remains to any length. Some give it to their fear of the inevitable and just shave their heads to the skin. Which is more ridiculous, really?
Anyway, if drugs can help, great. If not, do what you need to do to feel that you outwardly manifest the innermost self. Better now than in another 10 years when your MPB progresses further. (Besides that, if it is a look that is good enough for a hundred dollar bill, it can be good enough for you, too.)
Welcome aboard!
Shawn (Mr.Crow)
PS I love your chosen username, esecially given your religious past.
(http://www.myspace.com/manlocks) - Mr.Crow's photo archive of growing hair
Thanks for the encouragement, man!
I'm gonna do it -- both grow it, and hopefully patch it.
Glad you like the user name!
It's always fun when people get it.
Blessed are the Cheesemakers ......
Hello there.
What a remarkable post.
The work that Neohippy had done is awesome. That should give hope to many, including myself.
All the best to you.
Jeffrey.
Thanks --
"Hope springs eternal. It is the thing with feathers."
(According to Emily Dickenson).
Now if only it were the "thing with hair!"
Thanks for the encouragement!
Hello there,
Thanks for the wonderful post, and a tip of the hat to you in your determination to never give up hope. I have just looked at the transplants that Neo Hippy has had, and am awestruck with the quailty of the work done. I might even consider transplant work myself at some future date, if my early MPB gets worse.
I noticed in your post that you mentioned using Rogaine. Are you also using propecia? The reason I ask is that propecia can slow down, halt, or even reverse MPB, as it gets directly to the root of what causes it. Rogaine can increase hair thickness, but does not get to the root cause of MBB.
All the best, keep us updated,
David
I've been very curious about Propecia. I asked my doctor about it and he mentioned that it could result in impotence or a decrease in sex drive.
He said that the risks were low, but a factor to consider.
That kind of scared me away form Propecia.
Have you ever heard of those side effects?
Actually, I have heard of those side effects, but they occur in a faily small (probably less than 10%) of the population. It's really a risk I have to leave entirely up to you.
If you visit Dr. Rassman's site (baldingblog.com) (he is probably one of the best transplant surgeons in the world) and read some of his blogs, you will probably notice that he always recommends taking propecia for a time before having a transplant done, not only does it have a benefit on hair count, but it also plays a role in the success of the transplant afterwards, with the post transplant hair count higher.
All the best, my prayers are with you here,
David
People who dislike longhairs will say anything to discourage you, and if they can use your baldness, they will. You can bet they don't make comments with that venom to bald guys they know with short hair. I get "old hippie" comments, and people don't make comments about old people in general, either. They just use the "old" part to get under my skin, but damned, if I cut off all my hair, I'd still be old - I'd just find an old guy underneath!
Of course, you didn't have to. When my dentist took out my wisdom teeth, I didn't say, "Well, since I've lost some of my teeth, please just pull the rest of them!"
God loves you just the way He made you, of course. And God loves your inner soul too, which is also something He made. If your inner soul wants long hair, God will be cool with your pursuit of that.
He is blessed with VERY thick hair, of course. YMMV. Also, I don't recall seeing any striking BEFORE pictures to show what has been DONE. He might post them if you'd ask him. All we know is that he looks great now!
There are a lot of us "longhairs in spirit" here. You will have lots of company. Welcome! And good luck with your adventure!
Bill
Thanks for the wisdom, man.
You are so right ..... I had never thought of it that way before.
It's weird how ironic appearances can be.
It's that point when a choice of something ceases to be a positive embrace, and becomes a negative opposition to another.
Whatever became of that old Biblical sentiment "I am all things to all men"?
A hippie sentiment if I've ever heard of one.
Thanks also for the gaylonghair link -- I'm gonna check it out right away.
And for the encouragement.
Old hippie?
Dude, I can't think of anything else I'd rather be .....
Here are a few random thoughts:
Time and time again I've noticed that when guys want to grow their hair and/or realize they are gay
it's almost always the same story: they REJECT almost their entire upbringing.
I can certainly understand the reasoning behind it, but the world will
never change if guys keep running from their pasts.
Just because someone is brought up in "extreme fundamentalism" it doesn't mean they
have to leave all that behind. "But it's totally incompatible with hair or with my
current lifestyle" comes the protest. And I can certainly understand that there
are some situations where--for instance--the parents practically disown the son, or the father says: "not in my house..blah blah"
But whenever it IS possible to stay around the people you grew up with you should!
By being "in their face" (and I mean that in the nicest possible way)
you become a living demonstration of a man who can be a longhair or who can be gay--or both...
...and yet still be a FANTASTIC, loving and caring man.
But by leaving you cast yourself out out of the fold and their suspicions are confirmed: you ARE different and therefore you become
the symbol of a Black Sheep for the rest of your life; the livining example that
everyone in the family can point to when they need to demoralize some
other 'degenerate' young person within the family circle.
I know it is not always possible to stay around family--especially
when there exists a state of extreme rejection on their part and THEY
are the ones who cast you out; who DEMAND that you conform OR ELSE! But if it is at all possible to stay around family, then do so.
How will the world ever learn if guys who are 'different' just keep on running?
always wanted to have long hair. (And gay ... but that's
another story, and probably another message board .....)
Hey Luckskind,
Thanks for the thoughts -- not random in the least.
I hear you -- there is such a temptation to throw the baby out with the bath water when it comes to personal choices vs "family" values. Not to mention becoming a self-fulfilling (and self-consuming) prophecy.
For a very long time, I did just that. I wanted nothing to do with religion or faith of any kind.
Although eventually, I realized that my rejection of fundamentalism was not a rejection of faith -- but of a peculiar literalist dogma.
You are so right -- a force for positive change demands action, persistance, courage, and ... faith.
To be a man. A longhaired man. A longhaired gay man.
Is to neverthelss be a man. And a man is fair, compassionate, responsible, and loving. (And I think Rudyard Kipling listed a few more important 'manly' traits in a way far better than i ever could).
I can't believe a positive force such as this board actually exists. It represents such an amazing exchange of ideas, ecouragement, community, and supportive spirit.
And I can't think of anything more "Christian" than that.
Thank you for your articulate and compassionate thoughts.
Dum spiro, spero (While there's life, there's hope, literally - while I breathe, I hope).
I say you go for long hair again just as you are now. While lots of guys fear balding, it's not so scary really. It just happens, and you go with it. That is, if you don't go the transplant/topical treatment/drug route. Long hair and bald on top can co-exist together to produce a unique look that is all your own. MPB does not mean that the rest may not be allowed to grow. Whoever/whatever planted this idea within our collective unconsciousnesses suffers from delusion. Probably from the same source that initially vilified balding in the first place. Of course, all the best on your journey, and at the worst, finding that you don't like what you grow, the solution is simple. I think that the "unattractiveness" that you mentioned is more a state of mind than anything else.
So where did you go to school, Oral Roberts U or Bob Jones U?
Bragi
Hey Bragi,
Thanks!
Hah -- so you know ORU and BJU?!
I attended the latter.
Students were required to attend a daily chapel service (it was huge -- 6000 identically clad people crowding into an "Amphitorium" every morning). Monitors would scrutinize the guys as they entered, and if your hair touched the top of your ears, touched your collar, or was not 'two finger-widths' above your eyebrows you were handed a "hair slip" and had to report to a dean. You also had to report back to the dean once you had a "proper haircut" to ensure conformity with the rules.
God, that was a lifetime ago.......!
I can't beleive I actually was there.
In the meantime, thanks for the latin.
I agree. Hope is life.
In fact St, Paul said "Faith is the substance of things hoped for," and for once I can agree with him too.
You guys rock!
What an amazing, supportive, articulate, and welcoming place this is!!
Wow!!
Thank you guys so much for the thoughtful replies.
There are so many things that are great about having long hair.
Community being a huge one!!
Long hair certainly sets you apart. And I don't mean 'apart' in terms of opposition -- I mean it much more positively.
Since each person's hair grows in a unique way, long hair is something of fulfillment of individuality. Your hair grows only in your own way -- and not only contributes to your own unique identitiy, it helps define it.
Short hair (to me) connotes conformity -- and also uniformity. It is no accident that institutions that promote collective thinking glorify short, uniform hairstyles, while those that embrace individuality and imagination celebrate hair however it emerges: shaggy, wild, flowing, straight, curly, frizzy, fro'd, whatever. What will be, will be, and grow with it!
Different societies see the idea of growth in dramatically different ways. For some, to grow is to mature into a pre-established pattern, For others, growth is organic, unplanned and surprising.
That's the thing that most discouraged me about my hair as it thinned. It was so much fun watching it grow, choosing its paths, organically establishing its own identity. For some people long hair is a crown, for others a cape, for others a friend.
For me it was like a fun hat that I loved wearing and didn't want to take off. It was a crucial part of my face and my head. Hell - it shaped my head!
When the thinning started, I cried. It was no different than if any other important facial feature had vanished. Like having an ear fall off, or an eye close over with skin.
I started wearing ball caps constantly, and eventually friends convinced me to cut my hair short. (Especially my boyfriend at the time).
Despite the tone of my previous post, my family was actually (albeit sullenly) tolerant of my long hair. My mother thought it was creepy, and my father always referred to me as "the hippie" but no one disowned me. What was most disappointing to me was the smug glee with which my thinning scalp was greeted
It was like "Ha -- nature will set you straight, boy."
And in retrospect -- I read that sentiment more as jealousy than anything else.
Okay -- enough rambling.
Even though I am not currently a LH, I thought some of you might appreciate these sentiments.
Thank you all again for the confidence and support.
I will definitley be researching transplants and can't wait to start down the shaggy path I so adored.
You guys are inspiring.
lifobryan