new thread
Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in some time, mainly because I would have had to make a "regress" report, due to my having been persuaded to get a "trim". (You can guess what happened.) I'm still a month behind where I started.
This leads to my questions:
How (if at all) has having or growing long hair affected your personal relationships? And, conversely, how have your personal relationships affected your hair?
(If this has already been broached, please refer me to the relevant thread.)
Thanks,
Arnold
Well, as far as platonic friendships & general acquaintence-type relationships go...
I make it a practice to accept & respect others unconditionally, "as they are"; so naturally, I expect others to do the same towards me in return. If they are bothered by my long hair, either I never know it, because they know better than to ever say anything to me about it; or if they do say anything negative, then they lose out on getting to know a very nice guy (me).
As far as romantic relationships go...
I met my partner through gaylonghair.com. His hair is longer than mine... need I say more?
- Ken in San Francisco
Hi Ken,
You're a lucky man :-))
Arnold
Hello. Arnold.
I'm not sure if we;ve ever chatted, but I must say your surls are very similar to my own. How long had you been growing when the avatar pic was taken?
And now to your questions:
Most people are really (surprisingly) supportive for me. Sure I get a couple ribs from my Mother-in-Law about being clownish looking or my wife about being feminine, but I've come to know that they love me no matter what I look like and, being as awesome as I am in almost all other areas of relationships with them (modesty being excluded, of course), they really don't mean to belittle, hurt or offend me.
People who have only met me since I started growing my hair (say from about the 6 months onward) think I look odd with short hair and that this crazy, wild, curly hair is much more suiting to my personality and appearance. (I agree, of course.)
In the past, a nudging from my wife would elicit a week or two of defieance, ten a surprise trip to the chop shop in an attempt to be sweet and impress her. (With her usual first comment being something like, "Hmm. Do you like it?"). (Yet another reason why I realize that whether she lies my hair or not has more to do with her than with my hair.)
The relationships I have with many of my students might explain some of the whites that are appearing with increasing frequency.
No problem, anytime.
Shawn (Mr.Crow)
Hi Shawn,
Sorry for the slow response. I've been away from my computer the last couple days. Thanks for your comments.
That's sort of a tough question to answer, as I've not really had "short" hair for a long time. It had probably been about 6 months since the last trim. My hair grows at the average rate (1/2 inch per month) although it seems that the sides out pace tha back and front somehow.
Cheers,
Arnold
To question #1 above, in my case not at all throughout my entire life. Why? Because I simply wouldn't let it happen should the subject even be brought-up.
To question #2, no relationship could ever have any effect on my hair. I simply wouldn't allow it. Either like me the way I am or go looking elsewhere.
Hello Arnold,
Yes , long hair affected some relationships, some intolerants people doesnt ever talk to me but , do you think i lose something ? i dont.
And yes realtionship affected my hair , i was also been persuaded to get a trim, one year ago and i regret it. it was beceause i was deperated not to find a gf , and some friend of mine persuaded me that girls prefer short hair... but in fact i realized that the problem with girls wasnt my hair but me ^^ so cutting my hair didnt change anything lol.
back to the first question, i think that having long hair bring me more self confidence so it affect my relationship but in a good way :)
Cya
My hair has not affected my relationships at all. One reason is perhaps that I was always seen as a bit weird, even with short hair. I had strange hobbies, interests, etc.
Unfortunately, I was persuaded to get a few trims (one of which was a downright butchering during which I lost three inches) during my first year of growth.
Tracy
Growing my hair long is making me feel alot more laid back. My temper is beginning to disappear as far as dealing with family and friends.
The long hair seems to make me more accepting of diversity; don't feel like I'm as opinionated as I used to be.
Something funny I want to pass on that happened to me the other night. I'm a volunteer fireman and we had a training session. We were "smoking" up house that we will eventually burn. Anyway, one of the retired members who is in his eighties, came up to me and started asking me why I hadn't gotten a haircut. I'm a federal employee, so he started out by aking me if "Bush wasn't paying me enough to go get a haircut"? Well, I just looked at him and said that as long as I had hair, I would grow it the way I wanted to...I mean I ain't a kid anymore.
Besides this old guy, everybody treats me the same. I'm not uncomfortable with my hair. My wife is starting to like it; we compared the other night and mines a couple of inches longer than hers. We laugh about it; it's been a fun journey so far growing this dead protein on my head.
Mike
My personal relationships have stayed about the same. I'm actually getting support from my wife. I think she likes it and my hair's actually longer than hers. And it'll get longer as time goes on.
There was something said on this board way back about how you feel about your own hair; I feel confident with mine and that seems to help my relationships. No one has been hassling me except one person. I'm in a volunteer fire department with him. He's in his 80's and wanted to know when I was going to cut my hair. In a calm voice, I told him that as long as I had hair, I was going to grow it. He just snarled and I laughed.
Took his comments with a grain of salt. If your family, friends, and coworkers can't accept you for who you are, then you need to make the change because they are not going to.
When the old man snarled at me, I thought "Mike, you're not a kid anymore. If you like your life the way it is, keep living it". I'm gonna be 50 this year and my hair's just one of the things I'm gonna celebrate.
Keep Growin...Mike
Sorry i have repeated myself. The first message just made it to the board along with this one. Mike