new thread
My mom asked me earlier today when im going to get a haircut. Im not sure how to answer her. I havent had a haircut in almost 2 months.
Matt
well, me thinks you are gonna have to decide between your current job and your freedom to grow out your mane,which is more important?only you can answer that question.if you do decide to grow it out,start looking for a new job and apartment now..
See if you can stall for longer. Two months is not that long of an interval between haircuts. More time will delay the answer until you are sure of wanting longer hair.
Also, a later answer will allow your hair to potentially be closer to out of any awkward stage.
If you must get a haircut because of the rules of the house, then don't get much cut. Tell the stylist you are working on longer hair and they will be able to cut it so that it keeps growing longer but is less unruly in some areas.
Speak up and be heard, you know in yourself that you do not want to cut it...so theres no need to surcome to the pressure that may be there, just speak openly about it..it's your hair.
No one, not even us, and believe it or not, not even your mom, can tell you what to do. It is your life, and it is your hair on your head. There are consequences either way you choose. We can give you our advise here, based on what little information we know about your situation; but ultimately the decision of how to act and move forward is yours and yours alone.
When I was 18, and home from my Freshman year of College for the summer, my dad kept after me, nagging and nagging about how I needed a haircut. Then one morning he forcefully told me that i HAD to go and get a haircut before going off to my summer job (I was a summer camp councellor that year)... Exhausted over being nagged at over this issue, I finally gave up and said, "By this afternoon, it will be done." Note that I didn't say exactly WHAT would be done; only that "it" would be done... Around noon that day my dad left the house to go do about an hour's worth of routine errands. Unbeknownst to him, I had already written him a 3-page letter to put on his bed, had called the summer camp I was already hired at to get permission to arrive early, packed all my Earthly belongings into my biggest knapsack, and called my best friend from High School to come pick me up the moment my father left the house (I didn't own a car; but he did).
I made my 2nd phone call to my friend, who was over in less than 5 minutes, and that is how i left home at age 18. It cost me finishing my College education; but at the time I needed my freedom from an abusive, controlling parent more than I needed to live one more day under his roof. Life has not been easy for me, and sometimes I wonder whether or not I made the right decision; but I do sincerely believe that deep-down in his heart, I think my father had greater respect for me (even though he was totally pissed at me), because I did what I did.
I'm NOT saying that your answer is to follow "exactly" in my footsteps. It's quite possible that a different or even possibly opposite type of decision in your case may feel like the nearest right thing to do under your particular set of circumstances... But whatever you decide, and whatever action you take because of it, do it without fear. You have the right to choose and plan out and execute your own destiny. Taking action ("matters into your own hands", as the saying goes) may feel right to do NOW; or, it might feel more correct to quietly "wait it out" for now, taking action later...
OR... you might find some amazingly creative way to handle this problem that never occurred to you before (one of our members that was in a very similar situation, for example, decided to rebel and get a mohalk haircut, --- which made his parents realize that maybe long hair wasn't so bad afterall - lol)!!
I also remember hearing about another member here that caved in and did indeed go for a haircut; but he cut VERY little length off his hair. He satisfied his parent's request, by at least proving he could be obedient; yet he made himself happy by trimming off so little of his hair that he barely notice it! True, his parents were not really completely happy; but, it gave him some relief, --- and also some time to build up his courage to eventually say "NO" the next time...
The solutions to your dilemma are more numerous than you might currently be able to see or yet believe. All you have to do is humbly pray in whatever manner you sincerely believe will reveal the best answer to you... and then quietly wait for that revelation to tell you what will make the most common sense, be fairest (including to you), and yet treat everyone concerned with respect, decency, and genuine appreciation. It's a matter of waiting patiently and listening to your own conscience, while at the same time, better developing a keener sense of what's right vs. wrong, and fair vs. unfair, --- followed by having the courage to move forward, once you clearly see 'the light" well enough to correctly identify the right way to proceed.
I'm not too good with words; so, I'll turn to somebody else who is... As the obscure writer and poet, Lassie Benton, once so beautifully said:
"And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud, became more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
- Ken in San Francisco
I've thought about it a long time... My parents also to be dictators and when I get 18 I'll most probably leave them unless they tone it down on the orders and accept me for who I am (not only hair, lots of stuff). Of course, I'd have to support myself but I will be independent. The bad thing is I'm 16 and sometimes things get ugly (DAMN MINORITY)
I bet your life is "your" life for what you did, Ken.
Thanks Ken that's very enlightening and perhaps that might help Matt.
John.B
Don´t stall, don´t try to sneak around in shadows. Just straight out, confident, tell her that you are going to grow your hair out.
"Ok mom, liten to me now. I WILL grow my hair out because I like it. It is my hair and I do what I want with my hair. If you are going to act like a powerhunbgry dominating mother kicking me out of my job because of that, go ahead. But that won´t stop me."
That´s what I would have done at least.
Tut Tut Tut Told you how to answer this Question the other day didnt I !
1, Im Allergic to Haircuts
2/ What are Haircuts ?
3/ Depends When Are You Having Your Haircut
4/ I Cant Have A Haircut its against My Relgion
5/ Im Growing My Hair Now
6/ Im Not Having It Cut Im Joining A Rock Band
7/ Jesus Never Had Short Hair Why Should I ?
The Trick is you Answer The Question With a Question Some of the Time it does help you know !
Axel
Most of those answers are sarcasm which won't go over well with parents.Since most kids follow the same religion as their parents that will probably backfire or create new problems.I have never dropped the Jesus bomb.There is no historical proof that Jesus had long or short hair.Nobody knows.Any painting was painted 100's of years after the crucification.
Arrick
Like the others said just told her WHAT YOU WANT. After all, it's your body, your hair, your life! There's nothing much to think over, just do what you want.
I've always said hurting people is hideous and my principle is that you can do everything absolutely everything you want as long as you don't hurt others. But an exception to this is to CHANGE yourself just to fit others' opinions and images. Fuck that!
Tell her that you are taking a ride on the Twenty First Century's "Street of Equality". Since both sexes are equal and there is no differences between the sexes (remember which hypocritical sex said this back in the 1970's), why can't you grow your hair out? Especially when there are a lot of women cutting their hair short or shaving it off (Britney Spears). Don't follow tradition!!!
Matt, ask your mother if she would like your help when she is older- taking her to doctors' visits, taking care of her home, general checking up on her. Would she refuse this help if her son had long hair? Your hair length will never change the good person you are and you can reassure her of this. Let her know that considering your simple wish now affects your relationship with her in the present and future. Long hair now is meaningful to you and is not about making her look bad in the eyes of her customers. Talk with her about your plan to keep your hair neat looking as it grows and you may find she is willing to give you a chance.
You are in a bind because you have problems on two fronts- the mother who wants a successful son according to the way she understands success and the employer who doesn't want to lose business over what what she imagines would be a shady looking employee. It may be that it takes a change of employment to solve half your problem. You likely know what the true cost of such a change could be (place to live?, educational expenses?) so do weigh what is best for you at the current time.
Elizabeth
Maybe you should let her read this hyperboard to show her that long-haired men are also humans, not dumb, very tollerant, and they often have mothers like she is.
Remember, parents are not always mature, just because they have family and job. They must be often taught how to be better people, at least enough to not mess up with lives of their children.
Just say your going for a trim and do that as autesse said in an earlier post. keep it neat and continue on growing it that will buy you some time anyway to figure out future job and possible living arrangements.