new thread
Yeah I got a bit of a dilemma. Sunday morning I'll be leaving for Florida from Boston to visit my grandparents. Of course, they hate the idea that I have long, long hair. My parents pretty much don't like it either, but they let me wear it whatever way I want to.
Anyways, my grandparents always harrass me to get my hair cut. Like really short, not just a trim. What should I say in response to this madness?
Tomorrow I am taking my sons to see their Grand Father in the hospital. The oldest one (18yrs) is to have his hair which is mid back in a brushed off the face pony tail and maybe I will braid it. Then he is to shave-he has a scrubby little beard and mustache. The youngest(15 yrs) is to neatly style his some what shaggy hair and neaten up his side burns and shave his mustache which is sparse.
The boys told Grandpa that Mommy wore her boots (retired Army) to protect their freedom of expression;after all this is America.
Dave,
The times are a-changing. I have been harassed all my life to get a hair cut, but now that my hair is shoulder length, no one in my family ever mentions it, including my right wing, Christian fundamentalist uncle by marriage, who of all used to give me a hard time.
If anyone comments negatively, keep cool. But be observant, and imagine what you might say. For example, "Myrtle, I am sorry you ob ject to my hair; perhaps I should have told you before that for your health you should lose 50 pounds." Or, whatever, but smile and be cool.
Thanks everyone for the help, its very appreciated. Whatever happens, I will be heading home with long hair still in tact!
You like it short. I like it long. Each to their own. Would you say the same to Jesus?
If anyone comments negatively, keep cool. But be observant, and imagine what you might say. For example, "Myrtle, I am sorry you ob ject to my hair; perhaps I should have told you before that for your health you should lose 50 pounds." Or, whatever, but smile and be cool.
I don't know....this kind of comment speaks of such fragile self-esteem and defensiveness. Why not simply say, in response to their demands to cut or suggestions thereof, something like, "Yeah, I know it's long...I'm thinking of cutting it when I get back." Or, if you are against lying, book an appointment with a hair stylinst in your town for the week after you return and state, upon being asked, that you already have a appointment set. Why get them all upset over something that will be out of sight and out of mind after a short visit? The words you say can be far more damaging to your relationship with them than any style of hair, I'd hope.
Shawn (Mr. Crow)
My mySpace Account
The answer is very simple:
Tell them that you love them very much, but you like your hair the way that it is.
If you actually say those words and say them like you mean them (and I'm sure you do) then I bet that will be enough for a positive change.
Jeffrey.
What you say, or DON'T say, is less important than the fact that you want to be able to board your plane flight home with your long hair still intact.
You are the only one that knows your exact relationship with your grandparents, --- and how they will respond to saying "this" or saying "that"... Do they have a good sense of humor? If so, make a joke of some kind, to lighten up the atmosphere, yet still giving them the message to get off your back. Do they respond best to directness? OK then, try being blunt with them about the fact that your hair is your own decision, and not a topic up for discussion or debate. Do they value seeing you come down for a visit? If so, they better not push you too far, --- or next time you won't feel like bothering to fly down to Florida!
It's a simple as that. Either they love you for who you are, or they are trying to control you and mold you into THEIR wishes (which is *conditional* love).
Personally, I don't think there's a need for you to say all that much. Just quietly stand your ground, mainly within your own self. The words will come, if the need ever becomes obvious for you to say anything to them. But, in the meantime... plan instead on just having a great time down there!
- Ken in San Francisco
Say no... Thank god my grandparents love my hair
Easy, "This is my hair, I do whatever I want with it. If you don´t like it, fine, keep it to yourself. I don´t want to hear any more negative comments from you."
It is nothing whatever to do with them. Tell them as politely as maybe to mind their own business. Just take a bit of care that they might complain to your parents if you put them in their place too much and might make your parents become aggressive towards your hair.
I would just explain to them that you really want to spend some time with them because you love them, but if they keep harrassing you that you will not enjoy the visit and will have to leave. And that you would really hate to leave, but would have no choice.
Put the ball in their court in a positive manner.