new thread
I just want to start out by saying that this is my first post, but I’ve been reading this board daily for at least a year. I’ve used this board as a source of support while I was growing my hair out. Believe it or not, one can get support from just reading other people’s messages and seeing other people’s hairstyles, even if one is not communicating with those people. I live in a conservative part of the U.S. (think red state surrounded all by red states) and long hair on men is not very common, so this is as close to a support group for long hair as I’ve had.
This brings me to the point of my post. After growing my hair out for over a year from an above-the-ear cut, and finally getting the back and sides to be all one length between chin and shoulder length, I cut it all to a 3/8 inch buzz earlier this week. I will try to go into the reasons why I did this. It was partly a rational decision and partly irrational and impulsive. I’m posting here because I want some support from other people who have gone through the same thing. I’m not feeling good about cutting it.
First, I’m in my mid 20s and I have the beginnings of conventional male-pattern baldness. I have some recession on the lateral sides of the forehead in the frontal hairline. Where there once were terminal hairs there are now small vellus hairs. I also have some diffuse thinning over most of the vertex of the scalp.
This is a problem for two reasons. One, because the hair is so thin on top, a center part doesn’t look very good. You can see parts of the scalp through the hair and you can see the forehead through the hair on either side while the hair is hanging loose. So I solved this problem by wearing a side part, which looks good on me so that’s not a huge problem, but it does limit your ability to wear different styles. I had long hair in my late teens and my hair was so thick I HAD to center part because if I tried to side part there would be too much thickness of hair brushed to one side. What I’m saying is that I know what it’s like to have thick hair, and when you have thinning hair, it restricts your styling options.
The second reason why having thinning hair is a problem is because it makes putting one’s hair into a ponytail difficult. I was excited to finally grow my hair long enough to get it into a ponytail but then when I tried it it looked awful. There were areas where scalp was visible on the vertex and crown and also many small hairs around the frontal hairline. These small hairs are not future long hairs, they are hairs which are growing in miniaturized follicles as a result of the male-pattern baldness. They won’t ever be long enough to pull into a ponytail. By the way, please do not recommend any baldness treatments to me because I’ve spent months researching such treatments and I’m not satisfied with any of them. Propecia is nothing more than a hormone supplement that systemically alters the hormonal chemistry of your entire body. That’s the only FDA-approved method for preventing future hair loss, which doesn’t work in all people anyway, and does so in certain people not without other effects which I am not willing to subject my body to.
I can still wear long hair and have it look decent because there is only some thinning on the top and crown of the head, but there is enough thinning that I can’t experience the range of styling options that other long haired men can, such as ponytails, buns, etc. This means that if I decide to grow long hair again, I will have to start out with different goals for length. I probably would want chin or shoulder length sides and back with bangs above the eyebrow. I hated having the hair in front fall in my face in the wind or when I bent over, but I tolerated it because I thought one day I could put it into a tail. Generally the hair in the sides and back didn’t fall into my face, only the hair in the front.
The other major reason why I cut my hair is because I was so tired of the pressure of feeling ‘less-than’. I wanted to be seen as a ‘normal, clean cut guy’. I want to go into a professional career field and I cannot tell you how often I agonized about how having long hair was hindering my career choice. It was a thought that occurred to me daily, many times a day, the idea that my long hair was hindering my ability to get a job or be accepted in a professional job. When I started growing it I thought I could eventually put it in a tail or bun and look professional, but when I realized I didn’t like the way that looked, I really started agonizing over it.
That’s when thoughts of cutting it started entering my mind. It sort of creeps into your mind. There were many, many times when I stared at myself in the mirror from different angles debating whether or not to cut it or imagining how different styles would look on me. Most of the time I would remember the two-week rule that I read on here, sleep on it, and later think to myself ‘was I crazy or what, why would I want to cut my hair! I love my hair!’
But earlier this week I guess it all just boiled over, all the frustrations over wanting to fit into a professional job, and having thinning, receding hair. It was really humid that day and I had been experimenting with different washing routines like water-only and conditioner-only so my hair was feeling a lot ‘different’ than I was used to, it was getting longer and harder to detangle from the wind, the wind was blowing my hair all over my face – for the first time I was actually feeling kind of disgusted with my hair.
One minute I was telling myself about the two-week rule and the next minute I was in the bathroom with an electric trimmer. You don’t realize what you’ve done right after you’ve done it. The realization dawns on you days later. It’s the little things you miss like how soft and fluffy your hair feels right after you shampoo and let it dry, how the hair keeps your head and ears warm, how your hair sets you apart from other people and gives you your own character. I had even spent $40 on some expensive seamless combs just a few days before I cut it all off. I was so concerned with my hair that I wanted to use only seamless combs. It’s crazy.
I’ve actually cried about it. I get physically nauseous sometimes when I think about why I cut off all my beautiful hair and how long it will take to grow back.
I’m just here because I would like some support from other people who have gone through the same experience of cutting their long hair and regretting it later. Please respond with thoughtful advice or anecdotes, I’m not really interested in one-liners. I mean I feel like I just typed a chapter in a novel, at least anyone who cares to respond can respond in kind.
Sunflower
Ah, Sunflower, I am very sorry to hear you cut it all off. Sorry for how you feel and how it must affect you. I was looking at some pictures of myself from about a decade ago when I was clean-shaven (and couldn't grow anything worth growing anyway) and had short hair. The pictures were from a fantastic marching band trip to Germany and, feeling nostalgic, I had the first inklings of associating the romanticized, notalgia-driven memories of happiness of the time to having short hair and a clean-shaven face. Take consolation in the fact that, if nothing else, your sad story reminds me that this hair is a choice and one not easily made. To throw it away on a whim would be tragic. I am sorry you had to experience it, but am glad that your experience may help many others, though reading this board, to avoid the same conclusion.
Best of luck in re-growth if that is an option for you.
Shawn
PS you wouldn't happen to have been in Oregon a year ago where you showed some of your body-percussion skills (à la McFerrin), would you?
My mySpace Account
Hey Shawn,
Never been to Oregon. I'm okay if my story serves as a warning to others, although I didn't intend it to be so. I was just looking for support from other guys who know how much long hair can mean to someone. Most of the people in the larger society just don't get it. They think it's just hair. I can just hear their thoughts in their minds as they see me now with short hair: 'he looks better with it short', 'he looks like a man now'. If I tried to talk to them and say how distressed I was about cutting my hair, they wouldn't understand.
Maybe there needs to be an 'I cut my hair' thread every once in a while so that the long haired men on here can strengthen their desire to keep it long.
Sunflower
I am sorry to hear your story, and mine is almost the same, except when I cut my hair I really didn't want to and didn't cut it nearly as short. Your hair is already growing back now.
So, joy shared is joy doubled; pain shared is pain halved.
Here is my story from last year, posted around May 10th, 2006. Hope you like it.
********************************************************
May 9, 2006
On this day, I got up and went to work. I arrived promptly on time, and began work.
This week I have been working at one of our bank’s branches, actually very close to my home, so therefore, a very short drive which was very nice not to have to get up so early. Right after lunch, my department head, by whom I am directly supervised arrived. He first talked to several of my other co-workers, then he asked me if I had a minute, that he would like to meet with me. Of course, I say sure.
We go down to the bank’s conference room and the door is shut. He begins by saying that he does not know how to tell me what he has to tell me. I was caught rather off guard by what followed. Shocked and upset afterwards. He began by saying that I HAD to get my haircut immediately, saying that a trim like I had been customarily getting every six months was no longer acceptable. The words, ‘severe hacking’ and ‘something drastic’ were used in the course of conversation. I just sat there with a sinking feeling in my stomach and started getting hot and red in the face. I could not make words come together. When he finished, I just somehow got the words, ‘OK’ out of my mouth.
After that, he goes into talking about how our annual performance evaluations are going to be on Friday, and follows with saying that he has recommended me for a larger percentage raise than would normally be done. I did say thank you for that. But, I don’t think anyone could be so emotionally dead not to be able to see through my anger and dismay. Dangling a (bleep) (bleep) carrot in front of me to ostensibly make up perhaps for what had just passed. Not bloody likely.
I am not a violent person by any means, but during this discourse, I had such an urge to jump across the table and beat the (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) out of this guy. I have never been in jail or fired from a job, and really I knew better, but I really wanted to do it. It is quite amazing that sometimes some things happen as they do.
When he finished talking, I asked if that was all and got up and went back to my desk. I tried to start looking at another loan but I couldn’t. I let it all get to me. I was so angry. Tears wouldn’t come. It was intense ire, it was that destructive anger that takes all your energy. I had been caught out of the nowhere by the events which had transpired in the past few moments.
I had earlier been told that my hair length (near to/at the shoulders, always loose) was acceptable. I was told that no one had ever complained about me, my hair or my work. I had also been told that my reports on the bank reviews which I was in charge of were the best that had ever been done. All that really doesn’t matter I suppose, if certain circumstances are present!
I think there are some factors at work that I don’t want to believe are at work.
Fear: during the course of our conversation, my boss used the word ‘scared’ to describe the idea that “He was scared that HIS boss would say something to him about me and that it would make him look bad.” What we fear tells us who we are. It is the mind killer and the little death.
Jealousy: I cannot verify this but can feel it. My boss knows that I possess a degree of intelligence which he does not. When I use certain words in my reports or arcane word constructions, he sometimes does not understand what I am trying to say. When I quote bank regulations when debating over an issue with a loan, or quote from the loan policy on something we are trying to figure out, I think he sees it. When I did a write-up on our new bank name last fall, about the origins of the word and what it meant, I felt it then. We had paid a marketing firm hundreds of thousands of dollars to come up with a new bank name after our charter consolidation and the new name was ‘Ameris.’ The marketing firm told the management that it came from the Latin word for friend. They were way off! It’s the passive subjunctive present tense 2nd person singular form of amare meaning ‘to love.’ Translated as ‘may you be loved’ or used in certain clause constructions as ‘you are loved.’ Well, that is neither here or there.
So anyway, yesterday morning I got the following message, and followed with the response. My response is first.
From: Brown, Matt
Sent: Wednesday, May 10, 2006 8:33 AM
To: Smith, Jim
Cc: Wanda (HR Director)
Subject: Haircut
Thank you for taking the time to talk with me, and I can guarantee that the conversation will not be held again. Everything is very clear now.
I may need to leave early this afternoon or come in later Thursday morning however.
Matt Brown
Loan Review
________________________________________
From: Smith, Jim
Sent: Wednesday, May 10, 2006 8:07 AM
To: Brown, Matt
Cc: Wanda (HR Director)
Subject: Haircut
Matt, thank you for your time yesterday as I know that type conversation is not always easy for either party. In this email, I will document our conversation and my expectations. I need for you to get your haircut this week before we meet on Friday. Your hair needs to be what the HR policy refers to as professional. If you have any questions on this, look at employees or directors in the annual report or look at other employees in our department. Also, after this haircut is done, please continue to keep your hair at a professional length. We can not have this conversation again.
Thank you.
Jim Smith
VP of Audit
---------------------------------------------------------------
I did not like very much the tone of the message at all. It was curt and to the point for sure. Well, what was I to do?
I decided to do something that has caused me a great deal of dissonance and discomfort. Yesterday afternoon, I left early and went to the salon where I usually get my hair trimmed. To the charming Colombian lady who works there. She is so cool. She asked me if I just wanted the ½ inch off the ends like last time. I said no. I didn’t want to say no. I wanted to say yes. I said cut it more than that this time. She said why, and I said because it is demanded of me. She said that she was sorry, but that she would do it.
I suppose it really isn’t so bad after a night’s sleep having sewn up the raveled sleeve of care. Having realized that my ‘guarantee’ that I made in my response message was double edged. I have about five to six inches of hair left on top, a little shorter on the back and sides. I know as I sit here that at this very moment it is growing back. I know now what I am going to do. My path is clear.
I can very well guarantee that I will never have that conversation again because I won’t be there long enough to have it again. What a heck of guarantee! I won’t be posting a picture for a long time. I will continue to visit here to get inspiration and see how everyone is doing. I’m out of there as soon as I get my affairs in order. Maybe by summer’s end. The photo I posted a few days ago will serve for me as I reminder of where I was, and where I can go and surpass in the future.
For a long time, I have had ideas of many possibilities of things to do for a living that were a more effective use of my abilities, more pleasing to me, more profitable, more enjoyable. Now what am I doing? I am going to get back in school, get my master’s in Latin/Classics and teach school. I guess for the longest time, I have seen myself doing that and for one reason or another took a different path. Sometimes it takes a symbolic slap in the face to get one going in a different direction. I have finally reached a point over the past few years where I could make a decision based on what I want rather than what I thought I wanted or what I thought some one else wanted. For me, that’s a big leap.
Now, why have I gone prattling on for so long? I want to say that I love long hair, that it means a lot to me, that I will have it truly for myself one day. And am I undertaking all this for that alone? No, not at all. It really is just the tip of the iceberg, the catalyst so to speak which through various means has set into motion things which can have the potential to make at least one guy (me) a little more at peace with himself and his surroundings. I look to the future and remember the past, but only have the very moment that I am in to live. I enjoy this moment and revel in it, knowing in this place I have no other duty really than to accept myself as I am and go in every moment in that same way.
And what has a person gained from reading all this. Nothing other than to make your life yours, to do what you know you should, and to embrace what you love, and to hold on to it. Not to accept anything other that than your highest expectations.
In closing, I did compose a few words that expressed my feelings on what transpired that I am sending to both my boss and the HR director, and am going to ask that it be placed in my employee folder. It is rather a long read, but I will attach it below as well.
To write it, I received some inspiration from a very wise man (he won’t see this, but he knows who he is), some ideas and words from him, and some from me. Whether or not you agree or not with all of it is irrelevant. It does sum up much of my feelings on the subject however. It follows:
I was once told that “If you don’t understand, I can’t tell you.” This was long ago and for a long time I did not understand what that meant. I understand it perfectly now. Usually when I say something to someone and I get a blank stare of confusion, I leave well enough alone. But sometimes, for various reasons, I am persuaded to try to explain a thing or thought. I use not harsh words, not vituperations, not invasive tactics, just gentle words, honest and hopefully well thought out.
There are many things in our world, in our country, and in our society that we like, and conversely, many that we do not like. There are also many things, be them people, places, ideas, or even beliefs that we do not always fully understand. I try in my daily path to release myself from knowing this thing or that thing so that I may understand or learn about this thing or that thing. I expect the same of all those I interact with to strive to do the same. Although this expectation is not always met, to lower my expectation to any other level would be very unacceptable to me.
As well, we are all often told, and have been told so many times that life is not fair. Well, that is true in many ways. We are all born a certain way, with certain features, with certain physical characteristics, and with certain abilities. While things are not always fair in those respects, there many aspects of unfairness that can be made more fair by thinking through a thing, from putting one’s self in a different position, or even thinking of a thing from a totally different perspective. Things can also be made less fair by reluctance to imagine, fear of the unknown, or an unwillingness to look deeper. These exercises are often very difficult for us, if not nigh well impossible in many situations, and yet with effort, it is possible and very healthy.
There have been many times in the past and there still are instances in which I will make a decision or make a value judgment based upon what I think I know, or what I have always been told, rather than what actually is right in front of my face, presenting opportunities to grow and learn that I passed over and did not even know. That said, I seek not sympathy or special treatment for anything or circumstance, but I do seek understanding and expect that those with whom I interact, and those by whom my fate is controlled to a certain extent to rise to the occasion and think and ponder for a few moments on things they never knew they never knew, or let go for a moment of what they know they know.
Firstly, I begin by saying that I do not in any way have notions of being a troublemaker, a rebel, renegade, or anything of that sort. The gentle reader may very well wonder why that after several conversations/warnings, after several subtle hints and stealthily placed comments, that this writer has not complied to the request from the readers to go about sporting a closely cropped head of hair, keeping said appearance within a tight parameter of acceptability that is unwritten, ostensibly understood, and it is not exactly or to the letter specified in any certain way by means of an employee dress code, except in a highly subjective manner, open to interpretation at the caprice of the interpreter of the words.
It is true that it is rather uncommon for a male employed in the banking industry to have any sort of style or way about himself that is not very mainstream, or widely accepted in manner. Now while this may be suitable for many of us, to some it is unsuitable. I have chosen to have a longer hair length over the past few years for much the same reason that anyone has any hair length: because I like it. This might seem rather superficial, but is no more valid or invalid than any other argument that can be made one way or the other. And yet, my choice and reason goes a little deeper as most things often do. Things or characteristics that make us different or set us apart, some times acceptably, sometimes unacceptably, are also those same things that often make us who we are. Not the one who we seem, but what we feel, what we believe, what we love, what we treasure. There are many things that if I were to know about those closest to me, my friends, my family, my co-workers, that I might be pleasantly surprised to find out, maybe even shocked to find out. We do not often share what is truly inside of us, mostly I believe, out of fear, out of being thought abnormal, out of being made fun of, or perceived negatively.
The following may be dancing metaphorically on the edge of the cliff, but I will say that for me, spirituality and religion are inextricably intertwined, and one can not exist without the other. To me, having longer hair is a beautiful expression of my very being. It is an extension of my thought and prayers. I do realize that for many this is difficult to understand. However, please do try to appreciate that there exists a universal serenity that we have when we are in harmony and unity with all living things through our connection to our Creator, among many thing, one of them being hair. I see the beauty of our Creation in everything every day. Whether it is a little green frog, a blade of grass, or a smile from a friend, these things just serve to reinforce the beauty of life, and remind me too of its fleeting nature. It’s a thing to be lived and enjoyed, not thing to be feared and waited upon. It happens all around us in every moment, we can stop it not. We may think we master it, we may think we have it figured out, but take a look up at the night sky on a clear night, and tell me what you master there. Tell me where the end of the universe is!
Restrictions against male hair presence are so common and so firmly entrenched within our cultural mores that most of us take them for granted. We hardly consider the extent to which men must go to feel respected in modern American society. We may well
doubt that a male orthodox Jew who has had to make a choice between forgoing life sustaining employment or shaving his face and/ or cutting his hair in defiance of the spiritual tenets in which he believes, could appreciate the restrictions our society have placed upon him. Hair not only symbolizes the self, but is the self, in that it is a part of the human body. Our hair is natural. There is nothing unnatural about keeping the hair our Creator has given us. If God wanted all men to have short hair not more than an inch or two long, why did he make nearly every one us men so that his hair just keeps on growing and growing, if one so desired and if one possesses the genetic potential for a maximum length of anywhere from two to four feet?
I believe that a man's vitality and strength reside in his hair (remember Samson?), and that his hair is a gift from the Creator. I believe that haircutting is unnatural and, hence, un-Godly. I must note that people will normally succumb to within-group cultural pressures to conform to an appearance expectation, even at a cost of discomfort or disfigurement. Examples found within non-European cultures include the wearing of lip discs, neck elongation, head molding and scarring. I therefore argue for the placement of male hair cutting in the same class as the aforementioned forms of bodily mutilation. All are irrational and involve expenditures of money, time and/or the sufferance of pain, either physical or mental that is not inconsequential. All involve processes that are tolerated at the behest of dominant social forces by which those who submit are coerced.
An argument given against longer/long hair is that it is somehow offensive to our customers or makes one untrustworthy. How can long hair be offensive on employees, yet for our customers it is not? Would our company refuse to allow a long haired man in the bank simply because of an arbitrary rule? I do not believe so. For example, one can bank with us with green, spiked hair, leather biker apparel, body piercings in several locations, or unruly, noisy children and be served without question. But, to have a male employee with long hair? Forget it! Does this make sense? How fair is it to base the decision to trust a person solely on that person’s hair length? This would be almost as unfair as basing trust on whether or not a person is male or female, black or white, or even old or young. Trust is a thing to be granted sparingly on those who have worked hard to deserve it, not because that certain person meets someone’s definition of pretty or typical in appearance.
Now clearly, having long hair or any unconventional way of dress or appearance is
inevitably a choice, but, even so there are many things that are choices. Would it at all be acceptable for any employee to be told that they were too overweight? What about telling someone that they were not attractive or too hard to look at? What about telling a female employee that their hair was too short? Of course, it could be argued that the preceding scenarios are somehow different, but in principle, they are all exactly the same, their only difference is in the degree of the thing. Diets/exercise and appearance changes can be executed or accomplished in many ways. Any of the preceding events would never be acceptable and are never questioned as unacceptable. Yet, in a different set of circumstances pertaining to male hair length (asking/requiring a male to get a hair cut), it is regarded as perfectly acceptable. How could this be so? This is where the idea of a thought exercise comes into play. I am unable to comprehend the gnarling tangle of logic that leads up to such an erroneous conclusion, that not having been an accusation in any way, only the sum total of societal forces surrounding us all, and influencing us all with us mostly unaware of said forces.
I thank the readers for their time and patience.
You know what the interesting thing is Bragi? I remember reading that post last year when you originally posted it. I remember feeling so indignant at the professional culture for forcing men like yourself to have short, above-the-ears, above-the-collar, above-the-eyebrows haircuts. Your story, in addition to other 'tales' of men who were being forced to cut their hair short for jobs, actually strengthened my desire to have long hair AND work in a professional setting. My reasoning was that I would just have to work harder to get a job, maybe relocate, do more interviews, move to more socially-liberal areas, etc., but keep the hair.
But sometimes we humans, frail things, we act irrationally and impulsively. I think I sort of let my guard down and cut my hair impulsively. It's weird because I have this buzz cut which I don't like at all, but I feel kind of 'normal' like I fit in in the larger culture now. I still feel like a longhair inside though.
Sunflower
Whoa, Mr. Sunflower, you are DEEP, bro,
That IS a chapter in a novel. One which wholeheartedly deserves treatment in kind. Whoa. Where to begin? The world of professionalism certainly demands a lot of us. A look. A demeanor. A deceit. I come from somewhat of a nonmainstream society type family, if you've purveyed my posts. Why, I've even been VERBALLY ABUSED by a member hereon for holding true to certain unwavering individuated claims. Thank you. Thank you very much. Therefor, your own very individuated resolve to remain longhaired yet being pressured to, if you will, advance yourself in your chosen field, meets with an especial familiar sentiment.
Ya see, I, too, had shorn my tresses. I shaved my9s)elf completely bald. That was twenty years ago this very month. Three years later, same company, I was promoted. Executive assistant. It was a private courier company. Trucks, walkers, bicycles. Largely black owned and operated, I was among the few whites. I kid you not, Mr. Sunflower, but I was welcomed into the ranks with a hearty, "Yo! You an honorary niggah now!", which, at the time, once again, twenty years ago, was met w/ a certain amount of subcultural camaraderie, not politically incorrect derision. Think pre-Imus.
So, here we have you with a certain amount of soul-searching and not a small amount of regret for having made the quantum leap into sheerdness. Pattern baldness, as you have attested, has also played a part in your decision.
Well, my brother, hovering over my shoulder in the accompanying photo, is in his fifties, as opposed to your twenties. I'm fifty. Young-looking, to be sure. That Elven genochromatophore, to be sure. But, although he has experienced a receding frontal hairline plus the top of his pate, where one would render a cow lick, has also become partly denuded as well. Yet he still manages a comprehensive pony tail.
I can only sympathise that in this raucous world of cut-throat corporate jockeying you, Mr. Sunflower, have felt both the strain of corporate weight upon your own personal aesthetic of longhairedness as well as the creeping onslaught of age. I commend you with having shared your most intimate introspections on this subject matter with the entire Men's Long Hair Hyperboard. You are, indeed, corageous for having done so. I'm proud to have added my own commiserations on this topic with you.
Please, Mr. Sunflower, know that many of us here have felt the brunt of your self-agonising, which falls not on deaf ears or blind eyes. Keep on doing what you're doing, dude. You are your own best friend. And remember . . .
NE CEDE MALIS!
(Yield not unto adversity!)
Quenyan
Quenyan
Its ever so nice to see a clear picture you dunno why you have that blue one lol Your hair is looking cool you have got a great length on it looks good Ive spoke to you a few times in the chatroom to quite a cool guy to talk to I hope to talk to you again soon !
Axel
Why, Mr. HollyBoy Rocks!
Is that YOU?!? Thank you. It was difficult to get my brother to sit
still for that itsy-bitsy PhotoBooth camera. Why do I have the blue
one? You mean, why do I like ultraviolet light so much? Yeah, that
eight-person-chat was OFF THE HOOK! Dug/dig talking w/ you, too.
We'll reconvene again soon. Here's a whole different picture now.
NE CEDE MALIS!
(Yield not unto adversity!)
Quenyan
Haha yep Hollyboy rocks is me lol How did you find me then ????? http://www.myspace.com/l_h_hollyboy_rocks I dont go to myspace much these days thats why i set it at private lol yup i do mean your ultraviolet picture !
Axel
Hi Quenyan
None of my business, but I noticed your pendant. Friend of Bill W.? 7 years C&S here! LIF Laurence
Hey "Big L",
Keen powers of observation you exhibit, Laurence.
You must be a Power of Example, ay?
But, "No". Thee Dr. Wilson and I aren't friends.
If I'm not wearing my "Pagan In Recovery From Christianity" pendant, I'm wearing the Septenary, seen in my black-light-lit avatar thumbnail here, except that it's glowing orange-red-hot!
Interestingly enough, Lar', the ancient symbol for the Philosopher's Stone, that ephemeral emblem of the Alchemist's quest for inner as well as chemical transmutation, is the upright
equilateral triangle within a circle within a square.
What the Oxford Movement of the 1930's, that intellectual Think Tank that had exploded on the scene, devising the Program, DID, was appropriate the Philospher's Stone emblem, change it, and apply it for usage elsewhere.
So, what I have done, is re-appropriated it back from THEM, added the ancient Triskele, the three-armed or three-legged spiral, contained WITHIN the triangle within the circle, and thus restored its true Magickal significance, as though it didn't have any from the Twelve Steps, that is. But, it does anyway, no matter WHAT its usage.
That answer your positted query, Big L ? I hope so. And, don't forget in your day-to-day to . . .
NE CEDE MALIS!
(Yield not unto adversity!)
Quenyan
Thanks for the response. Glad you're in recovery from Christianity! I interpret and follow the 12-Step program(me) as an atheist as many of us do in post-Christian England. We just add an extra 'o' to 'God' and it works just the same!
Laurence
Hey Lar',
In which case, I AM a friend of Dr. Wilson! My goodness, how I vacillate! Thank you for your response to my response. I feel
a great kinship w/ you Britons, seeing that a full third of my Elven lineage filtered through the United Kingdom, albeit in many phases and during many migrations.
I feel all of us bloggers are detracting from Mr. Sunflower's initial post, though. I'm also at http://WitchVox.com under my
NAME name, Anadae Effro. Check 'em out, bro, check 'em out.
NE CEDE MALIS!
(Yield not unto adversity!)
Quenyan
Very interesting stuff Quenyan.
Actually; if you really knew the history of Christianity; you'd be surprised to learn what adversity really means..... and fortunately; witches aren't real.. just lost people.
But, like you said; this is a forum for long hair ... not really this subject. However, if I get to read your opinion; then you get to hear mine.
Tristan
Granted, Tristan,
Oh, I know the history of Christianity, all right.
Hence, I'm well acquainted with adversity. Too,
I'm saddened you feel non-Christians are "lost".
Seminary. Theological student. Which stripe of
Protestantism? You could have shown your eyes,
they being the windows of the soul.
But, Tristan, you're right, let's
keep the topic on hair, shall we?
EPHESIANS 6:12
Quenyan
Ephesians 6:13-18 takes care of that. I am fully armed.
Rev 20:10-15 .. Choose carefully!
I could've shown my eyes ... yes. However my friend, you could also consider coming into the true light .... a light that penetrates every inch of darkness!
But, as you said .... back to hair.
Tristan
I grew up Christian. I still believe Christ gave his life for us. I've come to feel considerable antipathy towards Christianity however. It all revolves around 1 Corinthians 11:14. You can try to justify it however you want but the words say what they say. To think the Creator of the universe, including male bodies, would inspire Paul to write such rubbish not only infuriates me but solidifies in my mind that I would not worship such an entity.
Wow! You've changed!!!!! :-)
Laurence
Words do say what they say ... I Cor 11:14. However, Biblical context is neccessary. Paul is addressing the church at Corinth and the culture of their day. For Corinthian culture; long hair on a man was a sign of male prostitution in pagan temples. Paul was addressing those early Christians on being an effective witness for Christ; and thus we have the verse.
Remember also that Paul said that I become all things to all people so in turn they may become saved... (speaking of Jewish practices; but the ideology remains the same)..something I personally adhere to.
In any case, I'm sorry you had a bad experience growing up Christian ... Unfortunately, for a nation that claims to be "Christian", I find that most "Christians" don't really know what it truly means to be one! I'm one.... and one day I will be a long-haired one..
Ephesians 1:16 NIV translation
Tristan
Dear fellow hair farmer Jason,
Dude! Thank you for your observations.
My father was my own Sunday School teacher way back
in the first and second grades, almost becoming
ordained as an Anglican priest.
I visitted your website. Beautiful presentation.
There's even a whole branch of my family, the Schallers,
in Namibia. Know 'em ?
Hey, Jason, once again Thank you. I appreciate your
input. Even Arn Draiocht Fein, or modernday Druidry,
makes an allowance for Christ's mission, seeing that it,
His Role, that is, fulfills even some of the teachings
of the Priesthood.
Love, light, and the end of seasons,
Quenyan
P.S. Boy-o-boy! This sure HAS veered off of Sunflower's
original post, hasn't it?!
The priesthood ... hmmmm can we all say hocus pocus.
Ah no.... the latin is "hokus corpus mayum" Feel free to look into the heresy here as well.
Tristan
Yes, thank you Tristan.
Ya see, my disciple of Christ friend, I personally broke
away from the Gospel due to certain insights that I had
amassed on the Church of Rome. As you must know, it traces
its succession to Saints Peter and Paul.
The Eastern Orthodox Church, however, founded at the Council
of Nicea in 325 C.E., is at a wide variance with ITS outlook
and praxis, isn't it? Heresy? Whoa, just have a look.
It was in LARGE part thanks to the writings of Nicholas deVere
and Sir Laurence Gardner that I came to support my Elven
lineage, not renounce it. Although the aforementioned deVere
just might have more of an Ubermensch attitude towards us, his
Elven ilk, Gardner's is far more academic, being a Chevalier
of the Knights of St. Colomba, who was responsible for the
introduction OF Christ's teachings into Scotland.
Cheers!
Quenyan
True my friend...
Given the history of the church of Rome .. and other historical events that "Christians" (using that term loosely mind you)have partook in; I too would have the desire to break free from it as well.
However, as I said ... most Christians really don't have a clue about what the life of Jesus represented; or especially how to live it. - Its a daily walk..
In regards to the council of Nicea in A.D. 325 if you will; called by Constintine of all people ... probably instituted as more of a political move than a theological one -- my opinion of course; where as we've discussed the heresy of what the "church" evolved into after that remains distasteful at best..
In regards to the eastern orthodoxy ... thanks for the source(s) of your beliefs. I'll look into it...
Warmest regards,
Tristan
My God(dess). You're sure sticking to the topic of hair well, aren't you? This is not a religion forum, and while religion can be and is discussed here frequently, such blatant belief bashing is quite unnecesary. How pathetic that you must attack others with proselytizing propaganda at every chance you get.
I understand that you're trying to spread the word of the Christian Lord, but don't act like you know what happens after we die, nor what happened long before we were born, when our universe unfolded. You don't KNOW, so don't talk garbage about non-Christians being shrouded in "darkness." Why don't you try to "prove" that first?
Nevertheless, I see I'm being a bit of a hypocrite here, touching upon the grayer areas of your beliefs; even the term "grayer areas" could be "bashing." Oh, well. I mean you no offence; I just don't want you to offend others.
Peace
Thank you Mr. FallenAngels,
Not only ARE there other boards nonhair related (this,
I thought, not being one of 'em), but let's just go back
to keeping the topic of discussion as close to matters
concerning hair as we possibly can, all right?
After all, this garrulous debate on whose lineage is
damned, the veracity of the Word (In the beginning was
the . . . ), sobriety, whether there are witches or
lost souls, WHATEVER, simply came out of Sunflower's
account of his experience with hair length, the corporate
world, hair loss, and the common courtesy of feedback on
these matters. Yeesh! Why, just look how far it snaked from
Sunflower's original post!
So, let's keep the spirit of camaraderie amongst those
of us in the terrestrial population who choose to cultivate
our tresses, yesses? And, forget not to . . .
NE CEDE MALIS!
(Yield not unto adversity!)
Quenyan
Actually you should read the posts ... the attack first came long before I made a post! I think it was something about recovery?!?!?
In regards to proof ?!?!? How much time do you have?
Just because you don't know doesn't mean there are others who don't .... hmmm
The time you need for "proof" is a lot longer than any of us have, I'd reckon. The mere universe around would seem to be proof of an intelligent being, as the big bang theory has yet to explain where its fundamental particle truly came from.
You obviously have never taken a class in logic. You cannot know for sure what is and what isn't. You can assume and observe; you can THINK you're sure; but, in the end, all you have is faith to carry you to the end. Stop being such a simpleton. Learn about the universe, learn about other religions, learn about your own; and, then, only then, come back and make a decision, armed with what you've discovered. You may discard your previous faith, discard a faith altogether, or the knowledge may simply strengthen your Christian beliefs.
I'm not attacking Christianity or any other religion. I just implore you not to be oppressively and naively close-minded like so many others. The strongest Christian is the one who has learnt about the universe he or she lives in and still follows Christ. If this is truly who you are, and I doubt it is from the simpicity of your posts, then I have nothing further to tell you.
Don't ask me anything else, as we've strayed too far off-topic.
Peace
I suppose I will refrain from deviating as stated earlier.
But I must say that a class in logic or philosophy for that matter really was of no benefit in college for me. - It only solidified my belief as you have already stated..
In any case, the subject is dropped.
Cheers dude.
Tristan
Yes. By the way, I'd like to apologize for some of my harsher statements, like calling you a simpleton; those were out of line.
Peace, man.
Thanks. We're straight....
Anyone ever tell you your hair looks like Slash from the old Guns and Roses? His hair rocks.
Tristan
It said I couldn't reply to you because I reached the "thread depth limit." Meh.
Yeah, actually, a girl called me Slash once. It was cool. I think this kid said my hair was like Serj's from System of a Down once, too. People mainly just call me "curly" or random stuff like that, though.
Peace
Hey Quenyan,
Thanks for your comments. Your website is fascinating! As a longtime LotR fan with an especial love for all things elven, it really resonated with me. I look forward to perusing it more in depth in the future.
Jason
Wasn't sure who to reply to but check out Numbers 6:5
" All the days of his vow of separation no razor shall pass over his head. He shall be holy until the days are fulfilled for which he separated himself to the LORD; he shall let the locks of hair on his head grow long. "
Granted, this is taking things out of context....again....just like 1 Cor....but if anyone pursues, just say you have taken the vow of a Nazirite for some time and that it is a very holy vow and people will back away slowly.
That is a great verse for sure. If I was an Israelite living under the Mosaic law I would have jumped at the chance to be a Nazirite. I could do without the alcohol and dead bodies to grow my hair! :)
Jesus fulfilled that Law however and figuratively nailed it to the cross so Christians can't really be Nazirites at this time. Supposedly there is now freedom in the law of the Christ with the demolition of the Mosaic law and its endless rules. Why this freedom would be tempered by God telling men they can't have long hair is beyond me.
I understand there are some contexual considerations as Tristan pointed out. Paul's words are still addressed to the larger Christian church beyond that just in Corinth because God chose to have them included in the inspired canon of scripture.
Yes... the Nazirites. Quite an interesting group of Israelites. I would't really be able to be one simply because I work in a job in which I am surrounded by death; thus defiling my hair. :)
You said it correct; taken from the book of Matt. that Jesus fulfilled the law; but not abolished it.. granted there are many forms of interpretation for that text.
However, with Paul at Corinth: yes ... he was writing to the larger Christian church as well as Corinth; and I would say that most of what is written by Paul is applicable to Christians everywhere; but we are seeing a snapshot of culture that was taken at a particular time; today's culture doesn't indicate male prostitution for long hair... and if it did; as a Christian I would evaluate my witness upon that..
I ask of everyone .... Am I evaluated differently as a Christian with long hair?? And by who's standard do I hold my accountablility??
Tristan
Thanks for your sentiments and thoughts, Quenyan. Regarding the subject of long hair and employment, I first found this board when I was searching the net for information on discrimination against long haired men in employment. I was led into a series of posts by a guy named 80s metal, who was being forced to cut his hair short for his job. He eventually cut his hair short and hasn't posted here since. He had great hair, too.
Discrimination against long haired men in employment must end. I am still bothered by the Harrah's case a few years ago. Basically, the Harrah's casino company makes their male employees wear short hair. A suit was brought against them claiming discrimination, and the court ruled in favor of Harrah's. The courts claimed that if short hair on men was the norm in the larger community, that Harrah's had a right to make their male employees wear short hair, which is total BS and doesn't make any sense.
The only standard should be that if females perform a job and can have long hair, that men should also be allowed to have long hair if they perform the same job. The fact that in 21st century America the courts can't see this is astonishing to me. I can only speak for myself, but if I am ever in a management or ownership role in a company or if I am in a position to hire employees, I will never consider the length of a male job candidate's hair as part of the decision to hire or not hire him, regardless of whether I have long or short hair.
Sunflower
On the first day of summer, Y2K, I impulsively cut off my wasit-length hair to short. I was going through a lot of "mid-life crisis issue" at the time, and for some stupid reason, felt I was "ready' to return to short hair... Once it finally hit me what I'd done, I regretted it very VERY deeply, and grieved over the loss, --- and I do mean, BIG-time...
The good news is that not only does one's hair grow back; but, because of having gone through such an experience, it made me feel like making a lifetime COMMITMENT to being a longhair, --- and never again cutting off my hair like that.
Right now you are in a lot of pain, which is totally understandable. If you can, please try to take from this experience whatever good you can see will result out of this in the long run. Loss and grief are funny things (odd, not hilarious), --- it's almost as if it overtakes you, and you become temporarily "somebody else"... Just hang in there, and realize that even now, this very minute, your hair is growing back anew, --- and you will appreciate it with new eyes, and never again take it for granted; but love it as you never did before!
Enjoy your new journey, --- and this time around, trust me when I say: you won't give one hoot about your 2nd "awkward stage", because you'll just be so thrilled to see it all coming back again!!!
- Ken in San Francisco
Hey Ken,
I do take solace in the fact that hair does grow back. And to be fair, the hair I cut was only shoulder-length, not waist-length like yours was when you cut it. That's really scary to me to think about cutting waist-length hair to short. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Thankfully, I have straight hair that grows flat, so my awkward stage is really limited to the hair flipping out over the ears and waiting for the hair to fall down over the ears. I'm actually kind of excited to grow it back and go through that again. I think I will wear a low-maintenance 'ceasar cut' for a few weeks and see if people treat me better than they did with long hair. I'm the kind of person that if people treat me better with short hair, it will cause me to want long hair again just because I will be pissed off that people treat me different based on the length of my hair.
Sunflower
Hi Sunflower,
First and foremost I wanted to say a warm hello to you and welcome to the hyperboard1 I DO hope you post more often, you will find an enormous anount of support here.
I also wanted to offer a few words of support to you. Don't get too down on yourself right now, your hair WILL grow back. The fact that you are down now about cutting your hair will make you that much more determined in your new journey to long hair. You have now become a longhair at heart, the lesson you have learned will make you that much stronger.
I went through a similar story, although a little less sudden than yourself. I had thick, mid back length hair in 1999 that I cut off, in stages, until it was short in early 2000. I had taken up golfing in 1999, and was made to feel that long hair was somehow "unacceptable" on the golf course. It was only in early 2004 that I started to grow it back, and only then did I deeply regret cutting it, as it grew in thinner than it did before, and was not as fast growing as when I ws younger. There were actually a few times in the first year of growing that I contemplated cutting it short again, due to snide remarks on the golf course. However, I persevered, and my hair is now approaching the length I had in 1999, although not as thick. Ironically, one of the other members of my golf foursome started growing his hair well over a year ago, and has no intention of cutting his anytime soon. I also saw another guy on the golf course with a ponytial last weekend, there IS a place for long hair on the golf course after all!
Be sure to keep us updated during your new journey, we are here to lend you support every step of the way. If you feel up to it, perhaps you could post a few pictures as your hair gets longer.
Hang in there, we are here for you.
David
Thank you David, you're always so courteous to everyone on this board. I've read about the problems you've had with thinning/receding hair. I don't know why there aren't more people on a men's hair board that don't voice concerns about pattern baldness, considering how common a condition it is among men. Aside from job concerns, pattern baldness was the primary reason why I cut my hair.
It's frustrating when you want long hair, and you have the type of hair that looks good when it's grown long, but your body fights you and causes your hair to fall out. I think I read that you take Propecia, and I do support you in that if you have fully considered the risks and rewards and made that decision for yourself. But Propecia is not for me, it alters the hormonal chemistry of your entire body - it works systemically, not just on the hair follicles. I'm not willing to subject my body to that. But the drug affects everyone differently, and there is no way to predict how it will affect your body before you take it, so maybe in you it will target the scalp and allow you to keep your hair, while not affecting the other tissues in your body that are affected by DHT. I hope that is the case. Take care.
Sunflower
Thank you, Sunflower, for your kind words. Part of the reason I decided to give propecia a try was because I seriously wanted to do the most I could to keep the hair I currently have as late as possible into life. It is my hope that since my hair only started to thin recently, that it will work to allow me to keep most of my hair well into old age, there is no guarantee but I will never know if I don't give it a try. I have a dream to have belt length hair or longer some day. As I am nearly 54, the side effects that propecia may bring are not as critical to those who may be just starting to have a family.
My hair loss is rather mild right now. I have some mild recession at the temples and thinning in the crown area which still does not limit my ability to part in the middle or wear a ponytail, in fact, my hair actually looks better with a centre part than with a side part, as I found out recently when I centre parted for the first time.
Take care and keep us updated,
David
Sunflower;
I would have to say that many have cut their hair in vain and regretted it either sooner or later. I being one. Do not fret however, things in life that we go through help to strengthen us; no matter what the case may be.. We all go through the "wilderness" at some point. Take heart ... you will experience much success this time...
Keep us updated.
Tristan
What the hell is the vertex on the scalp lol.
Way to show your ignorance. Vertex means top. It's an anatomical term that means the top of the skull. And no, me cutting my hair is not a laughing matter.
I think it safe to say we all share a bit of your pain and anguish and are genuinely sympathetic and we wish to be supportive. I didn't know what the vertex was either and I don't consider myself ignorant. As well I didn't interpret DaPs LOl
laughing at your situation.
Here are my thoughts
As for your male-pattern baldness the only example I can give is my sides are short and grey you know "wings" they wont ever grow so when the hair is down no problem but when it's up they stick out. So I shoot a small bit of hair spray (consort unscented extra hold) then I carefully smooth them down and that for the most part works. I tried gels but I have baby fine hair and gel made it look thinner. My point, keep working on it.
As for the job picture I assume you are currently employed. The pressure of being made to feel "less than" and the fitting in like a normal clean cut guy. Regardless I know what it feels like to live in a red state I once lived in Indiana but now live in Wisconsin (blue state) I'm not suggesting you pack up and move that's not so simple nor is choosing a different career path, however in your mid 20's your young enough to do that yet. I work in a supermarket industry have done since I was 17 (I'm 40) currently as night manager but used to work days. I am the only manager I know of so far who has waist length hair.
We have a dress code (hair above the collar) so how did I acomplish this? hard work, confidence, and perseverance. I don't feel less than among my peers nor do I care if I fit in. I prefer to be unique and i am respected in my field because I work hard and am good at my job. (sorry don't mean to sound arogant)
My point is attitude is everything. Be confident in what you do and excel at it . As for fitting in, well you can do the buzz cut thing look normal like everybody and be a follower or you can blaze your own trail and be a leader. Being a follower is easy being a leader is hard but that's your choice.
Life deals us a hand of cards we don't always like the cards we get but we have to buck up and deal with it as best we can.
So buck up and do your best.
Kevin
A mere question has been asked by someone who has never heard of this term before. Indeed, I have never known of this term myself! :-0
Well, guess I am also "ignorant" as having not known this as well. Such a delightful way to respond. Or, was that the only way to respond? Excuse me and please accept my sincere apologies if this was an "ignorant" statement.
Thanks for the education. I am no longer "ignorant!" :-)
Reading between the "line" which ends in LOL, I read it as a friendly way of one amused at themselves for never having heard of this term before being educated to it. It certainly said nothing about cutting your hair being a laughing matter. Perish the thought! An "ignorant" conclusion perhaps and most probably another apology is in order here.
Hmmmmmmmm..........but then again, many a time in conversation the olde saying comes up: "Ignorance is Bliss." Guess it depends on how one looks at it.
I know that I am not a regular member of this community, so no one here has been able to establish a relationship with me and know me as a person. Therefore it is probably easy to prejudge me based on a few comments that I've made. And also the fact that I cut my hair and posted about such probably caused most of the people on this board, the ones who even took the time to read my long post, to lose any sympathy for me from the beginning.
But, I did state in my post that I was not interested in hearing 'one-liners'. I was then and still am hurting badly from my mistake of cutting my hair. I was only looking for some support. There is a difference between politely asking 'What is the vertex of the scalp?' and saying 'what the hell is the vertex of the scalp lol'. If after reading my initial post, that is the only thing DaPs had to contribute to me, then I don't feel like I need to apologize to him.
Sunflower
Longhairs are independent sorts. We get along so well because we appreciate that comes with the mane. :-)
The general presumption on here is that everyone is an okay dude, and we just love others for their quirks instead of disdain them for them. The general presumption can be overcome with jerk behavior, of course.
This crowd is the most diverse mix of generations, nationalities, races, religions, native-language-speakers, and social groups you can find, ranging from cocky teenagers to old laid back hippies, but we all get along great here, because here we're all "just longhairs".
Often, perceived slights can be traced to translation of behavior styles from one social group, nationality, or generation to another. If someone is really a jerk, that will come out as they post over and over....
Mellowing out truly comes with growing the mane. I'm a lot more laid back than I ever was with short hair. When you achieve that state of feeling at last you own yourself, others' minor power trips just don't matter anymore.
To quote the hippies from the sixties, "Make love not war",
Bill
I think I misunderstood what DaPs and Justin were trying to say. I'm sorry for that. I am kind of hyper sensitive right now because I'm so mad at myself for cutting my hair. I don't like the way I look or feel with short hair and I want to just put it back. It just kills me to think about how long it is going to take to grow it back even to where it was just a few days ago.
Thank you to everyone who has given supportive comments to me in this thread! Just gotta have patience.
Sunflower
Duuude!
In addition to what I JUST posted moments ago, rest assured, a man's hair grows a half inch a month. Mine, however, doesn't, not being a human. A test of Absalom's (recommended) was to sheer off an unnoticable section to test its growth, and to monitor its growth over whatever period of time, and mine turned out to be thrice as fast, yes, three times the normal rate. This means that I ENCOURAGE YOU, with your self condescension and everything else you are feeling negatively, to stick to your goal. Fuck the corporate mentality. But we have to do what we have to do. For the time being, that is. You have our support, Mr. Sunflower, you have our support. Bill is a sage, man. Heed his words.
NE CEDE MALIS!
(Yield not unto adversity!)
Quenyan
Dear Mr. Sunflower,
As you have already most likely purveyed through these astonishingly variegated postings, esp. those pertaining to YOUR initial posting, hoping for some support from an unwaveringly longhaired community of mostly men, I'd've hoped that you would've realised the (sometimes hopelessly) divergent populace, reeead young and old, schooled and semiliterate, spiritual and nihilistic, gay and straight, married and staid bachelor, sympathetic and callous, that comprises this board. I, too, have met w/ abuse, or callousness, if you will, from those suffering from what my uncle who fought under General Patton, one of history's greatest military logicians, as, "The arrogance of ignorance." Those of us WHO are able to have supported you HAVE. It is, in no unrecognised way, a separating of the wheat from the chaff. You KNOW that I've supported you, esp. fr. my own corporate jockeying employment history, which bears somewhat resemblance to your own. We root for you who are inclined to do so. Damn, that was cumbersome. I wish you continued vigilance and dedication to your goal, personal, spiritual, and, if I can stretch it just a tad, busting this foetid sore that is classism. Thank you for posting. And I'm sorry that I had (quite inadverdantly) helped to veer off the topic, your haircut, so far from its original essence, with other's subsequent comments.
NE CEDE MALIS!
(Yield not unto adversity!)
Quenyan
Hi,
you sound pretty conflicted--re the thinning problem, that's a limitation you have set for yourself. by the way, there are a bunch of responses and I don't have time to look at all of them so if I am repeating anything I apologize. There are lots of guys (I'm one of them) with thinning hair just like what you describe or more so who grow out their hair and enjoy it. Okay, you can't part it down the middle now--that's as big a deal as you want to make it. It seems to me like you are hung up on how your hair used to be and am having trouble dealing with it as it is now. you have to try just accepting it for what it is today and forget about the past. I agree that those balding potions are no good.
Now, when it comes to employment and your career, that's different. I don't know what your line of work is but if it comes down to hair v. eating, well you know what you have to do, except that you can always change something, like where you live or what you decide to do for a living. Right? It's up to you.
My experience with these types of issues is that they never get decided immediately. Over a period of time, perhaps several months, you will slowly decern what path to take and a solution will make itself known to you.
Oh dear how did we get onto that topic!!!
And so you cut your hair perhaps having longhair is not just for you. We got alot of positive people that do grow their their hair out and good for them.
I'm sorry I will be honest we get so many "oh hear I've cut my hair posts and regreted it" then just don't just keep it it growing it's simple enough!
John.B
Thought I'd share my experience with you - hope it helps. I'll try and bullet point it so it's easily readable.
1. Always felt like a longhair inside - was a teenager in the '70s so was able to experience this to an extent. School and parental rules accepted a much longer 'norm' than now.
2. Left HR management job in 1995 and started to grow hair. Got tattoos and piercings. Explore sexuality. etc. etc.
3. Major issues for me about 'ownership' of my own body/thoughts. I'd been in a corporate sausage machine since leaving school and felt totally controlled. Had reacted to this with anorexia during my years at work- 'the bastards control everything else in my life but they can't make me eat' - that sort of thing.
4. Had fantastic, thick hair up to this point. People had always commented on my beautiful hair throughout my life.
5. Crisis point - hair starts thinning, receding and going grey. Pony tail looked ratty even though it felt good inside to be a longhair.
6. Cut off all hair to short corporate length in November 2000. Took years off me in looks. Regained handsome boyish looks :-) but felt like death inside. Cried almost continually for two weeks until I decided not to cut it again.
7. Seven years later - hair has reached terminal length (much shorter than previous terminal length). Still thinning, greying and receding. I look after it as well as I can but nothing will bring back the hair of my youth. I've accepted that now.
8. Here's the dilemma (maybe yours is the same). You LOOK good with short hair but FEEL all wrong with short hair. You don't LOOK your best with long hair but FEEL good inside.
9. Acceptance is the key - as it so often is with life's problems. Looking at posts of men with fabulous manes and being jealous is a no-brainer! Try to accept what you have.
10. I don't bother with pics (I have posted a handful over the years) as sparse, polite feedback is not what I need! My hair's nothing to write home about visually but it makes me happy!!
All the very best,
Laurence
Sunflower;
Please allow me to apologize for partaking of the deviation from your post. Please accept my humble apologies..
When I think about the times I've cut my hair; they have usually been for someone else. Not me. When you make these hard decisions to cut or not to cut; good or bad we obviously have consequences. - Which unfortunately takes awhile to get over. However, know that you don't stand alone with your decision to regrow your hair. There are alot of good people here (despite our differences)that will most happily give you the support you need. I being one of those.
In regards to the thinning of your hair; remember; we are all human beings with different looks; we accept people's differences and encourage them if we are a true friend. Hopefully you will find that here on this board.
Again, all apologies for the deviation of the original post!
Tristan