new thread
I have always been in the party of what other people think doesn't matter.
But today, when telling quite a close reletive I was growing my hair, he laughed in my face and told me it wouldn't suit me.
suddenly, even though my hair is still very very short, I found myself wanting to defend it to the death.
Now I feel like i'll just crumble if one person says it looks bad when it's longer.
Is that normal when i've never cared before.
I'm not a vain person.
Kind of worrying.
I guess you need to decide if it's worth the stress to you to have it. You should do what you feel would make you most comfortable and not be concerned with other people's opinions. Sometimes it's hard not to care what other people think when you're trying something new and if you do care about others' opinions now you need to consider that because it's likely people will respond to it both positively and negatively. I personally think long hair may not suit everyone but it's their choice to have it and I want them to do what makes them most comfortable.
Oh yes, i think it's definately worth trying it at least, it's more about the fact i was never bothered before..
If you really care about the person who said it, it is possible that you feel let down. However, you shouldn't change anything you like about yourself even if your most loved one doesn't like it. Besides, I'm sick of all these "it won't suit you when it's long"! THey have no idea what it will look like then.
When you're in the awkward stage for some it looks horrible but once they're out of it it is common for people to say "Wow , I wouldn't think long hair suits you so well"
If you truly want to grow your hair out, don't listen to anyone else =} That's my advice.
This question is asked all the time. Not quite the way you worded it but the bottom line is that you are afraid you are going to shave/cut it under pressure.
It all depends on how bad you want it. We've had alot of people on here especially people who were new for a while end up giving in and cutting it all off...they just did'nt want it enough (but no offence to them)
Also those who frequently get the urge to cut it are pretty likely to do so eventually.
Personally myself i never have the urge to cut it because i know what i want and im more serious about it then last time. Last time i cut my hair was to cut the military (but i was later kicked out) while i was in i realized how much my hair ment to me. Ever since i was kicked out i have have absolutely no urge to cut it...not once.
Bottom line is ...and i know most people here will disagree....if you want it bad enough and stuggle very little or not at all then longhair is for you, if you dont want it bad enough or if you sruggle with the urge to cut it alot...then long hair is'nt for you.
It is the way i worded it, but at the moment i am havign no qualms about growing it, and no desire to cut it, i just was never bothered by the comments before, yet I am no different than i was last year. It's less of a hair related question then a mental one to be honest...
It sounds like this close relative hurt your feelings just a little without him realizing it. While he probably didn't mean to, he probably didn't realize how much you've thought through your decision and how much emotion you had already invested in your prospects of ever-increasing hair length.
Even when we say we don't care what others think, I think we do because it's hard to untie the opinion of others from respect from others at times, especially those close to us. Family relationships are so loaded too with emotion and past conflict and joy that this probably plays a factor too.
Just keep up your resolve and decide what you want to do if that is having and growing hair. I don't think that it's strange to have felt as you did. Your hair is a part of you and could be likened to recieving a comment from a family member saying that you had an atrocious "x" or whatever.
Please don't crumble later on. If anything, let the harangues you might receive in this process make you stronger. This is probably what will happen. I wouldn't worry one whit about it. The Enterprise's shield always hold against the Romulans! HA!
and just that it has done..
Red alert! shield is gone, phaser and torpedo has failed, hull integrity is at 10 percent, and the klinglons have boarded the ship!
Hello
Long hair suit everyone in his own eyes.
Just say other people that your going to grow you hair and that you don't care what they think about how you'r going to look , they dont even know if your hair are going to be straight , wavy, curly...
so if you want to grow it , do it ! but be strong enough to resist and don't cut your hair until you really need a little trim :) (wait at least 2 years ;) )
Cya
Beanz, your entering a realm that is new and a few insecurities are bound to crop up now and then, especially when peers try to knock you down. Just ignore them and go for it - you won't regret it, and it shows great patience, strength of mind and resolve to grow ones hair long, and in my book those are 'good' things.
You have hit on the primary function of this forum. Support! All of us have faced some level of criticism, either real or perceived during our longhair journey. When in doubt, run, do not walk, to the MLHH for support and encouragement. It is always here.
Good Luck and keep us posted.
WWT
Beanz
when in doudt you exterminate that other persons sayings just ignore them and do what you want to do its your hair man maybe they are jealous that you are growing yours in the first place !
Axel
It is very normal.
There are many people who want to stand out from the norm, but are afraid to do so. Your decision to grow your hair makes you an individual who is willing to go the different path.
Many times you will get these comments because others lack the drive to do what you are doing. They secretly wish that they would do the same, but don't have the fortitude to go it alone, to be different. It's an inner struggle that many will never resolve.
Others just like to "build themselves up" by being part of the crowd. It's a classic insecurity issue. "If most have short hair, and I have short hair, I will degrade those who do not have short hair". It gives them the feeling of fitting in, being a part of something.
After a while you will reach a confidence level with your hair that you won't have to "defend it to the death". It will just be a part of who you are, one who is confident enough to do his own thing. I call it the different drummer syndrome (you have probably heard the comment about walking to the beat of a different drummer). You will begin to find it funny that others spend so much of their time trying to influence you and others to be like everyone else just because they don't have the cahunas to be an individual themselves.
You will come to welcome these comments as a indicator that you have reached a position of independence many will never achieve. Welcome these comments with open arms; it is a sign of success that you are not trapped by the crowd mentality.
Big George
I agree with Big George its how we humans are, very dysfunctional.
I somehow doubt you'll crumble if you get negative comments next time as you've already experienced some you'll be better prepared.
Kevin