Someone please help me.
I've been browsing this site ever since I decided to grow my hair out and it seems like a good place to address my problem. I'm really freakin' out.
Let me start at the beginning. I'm 24 and have been growing my hair out for almost 2 years now. It's my first time. I have very thick brown hair; wavy up top, curly in the back. It's turned out a lot better than I ever thought it would but it's never been the way I hoped. My hair has always been very coarse and poofy. The bigness issue diminished as the length grew, but now the problem is becoming just the opposite: I feel like I'm losing my hair!
I think it all started when I got to attempting to take my hair care seriously. I always thought from the beginning that if I just let it grow out it'll take care of itself. Shampoo is shampoo, conditioner is conditioner. Whatever: it's not that big of a deal. Well, as my hair got longer - or bigger, should I say - I really decided to strap down and take this thing seriously. I was beginning to look weird.
I started to notice how dry my hair felt and looked so I went out and got some Jojoba oil and used it religiously. After every shampooing I applied it and dabbed some here and there before going out. After washing, my hair looked like hell: frizzy and light. But after a few days it would look great: oil took some time to sink in I guess? But then I'd wash and back to hell again.
I decided conditioners were the problem: my hair needed moisture. I was never used to using the stuff, so I didn't know what to get. I just bought some cheap stuff: 2-in-1 Pert Plus with Deep Conditioner and some 99 cent Suave conditioner. I washed once a week and conditioned a few times. Nothing has changed. Hair feels softer but still looks like hell. I decided to get drastic.
I thought maybe I needed some kind of treatment or something so I started browsing the net and came across something that sounded interesting: vinegar rinses. I asked around about it and looked things up. Couldn't find much info on it or even how to do it so I just said, hell, might as well. Can't hurt, right? I decided to use the lowest ratio of vinegar to water just for a test and I think that was where everything went even deeper down into hell.
It's been a few weeks and my hair has never looked or felt worse. It feels really thin, waxy, and dry. My curls are almost completely gone. Dandruff seems to be a big problem and it seems to be breaking a lot easier. It's worse than ever before. On top of that I'm seriously beginning to notice a huge volume reduction when I take a shower. I would swear I've lost like half of my hair.
At this point I'm at my wits end. I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to hair care and it seems that more I do the more damage it does. I've been trying to be real gentle with my hair, patting inside of rubbing, working out tangles gently, etc. I've browsed hair care products, but I have no idea what I'm looking for. I've seen some shampoos and conditioners that are made for curly hair but I don't know what is what.
Someone give me some advice please. I'm seriously thinking about cutting it all off and starting over. It's looked like shit for so long when I grew it. Now that it's this long I don't want to have to start over again.
Thanks, guys.
Whoa, easy there! Don't get so paranoid. If you really had thick hair as you mentioned, there's little chance that half of it came out. The products you mentioned cna't have hurt it at all, I think.
You know what I think, is it possible that because of all these oils, conditioners your hair has become really oily or more like with a lot of buildup reducing its volume. Try shampooing (clarify shampoo if you can find), then just a little bit of conditioner just to see how it turns out. If it's really dry, then the oils should work just don't put too much.
Another thing -- do you use a brush or a comb? A brush can be fatal to curly hair, so if you are stop! Also, how often do you wash it, don't overwash it especialyl with shampoo (it dries it out even more)
Hope everything is ok, it's unusual to lose hair like that, it's more like it's in a bad condition and it needs a tuneup ;) Are you getting stress or something? That could also be a trigger for hair loss if there is any.
Let us know what happened!
I doubt you are but just in case, are you using any other chemicals or devices for straightening? You didn't say anything so that's off probably but still know that is damaging too.
Honestly, I think it's just messy and needs something different. What did you use when it looked great? Summer dries hair out too.
Thanks for your response.
And, no, I'm not using anything on my hair. I try not to. I was beginning to think I might be over-doing it on the oils though.
Come to think of it I have been enduring a lot of stress lately. A lot. I sure hope that that isn't what's doing this.
Actually, I forgot to mention something that might be important. I just bought a wide tooth shower comb and have been using it from time to time in the shower to detangle. I've been going real easy with it. Could that be it?
And I have heard about clarifiers before. I looked for them before but couldn't find any. Are they labeled specifically as clarifiers? Any brand you know?
I just looked at myself in the mirror and it looks like I'm balding in the back. Oh, God, no...
Thanks.
Sounds like you need to try and be calm stress adds to the problem of losing your hair so take a deep breath and relax we are here to help you out of the situation also you could use aussie 3 minute miracle grow conditioner as that works when mine gets to dry and fly away !
Axel
The name brand "Suave" has a clarifying shampoo. Quite cheap too
I wouldn't use a comb or brush while your hair is wet. I pat my hair to reduce the wetness then just it dry naturally. Then I'll comb it, working out tangles with my fingers. I know, a lot of people are in a rush so they need to use a dryer. If so, low heat, useing fingers till dry.
Good luck
Bruce
Hey Curly,
Why not try just rinsing your hair under lukewarm water for a week, no shampoos, no conditioners, no nada. Just let the natural scalp oils do their job with a daily water rinse just to freshen things up a bit. If things are better after a week, then try a second week just to see what happens.
anotherDavid
Several thougts:
1) Clarifying shampoo is labeled as clarifying shampoo. It's usually sold in any larger store. You might have a lot of product build-up.
2) Try a conditioner with no silicon products in it (like dimethicone, etc.) 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioners are usually not good for long hair. They are not damaging, but they are not as effective for proper washing and conditioning.
3) Summer humidity can effect the look and feel of your hair. It can make it seem limp and frizzy and just look plain bad. There is not much to prevent this besides moving to a desert-like climate, but you may be in a desert. Either way, we just have to live with the weather.
4) Perhaps visit a REPUTABLE hair salon and ask for advice. You might consider a slight trim of the ends of 1-2 cm. or less if you have raggedy ends. What might be a good idea is to let them wash and condition your hair with their recommended product and see how that turns out.
5) Redken has a line of products (shampoos and conditioners) specifically for curly hair. I have used these and liked them. I can't remember the specific name, but they are clearly marked. I think Target sells them as well as hair salons.
6) If I didn't use leave-in conditioner, my hair would look like absolute hell too. I like "Graham Webb Silk Protein Leave-In." I have found this product works very well.
7) As another poster said, water-only rinses in lieu of any other products work for some guys. Sometimes, less is more. Less stuff applied to your hair might yield better results. This may work for you, but it never has for me. I think Trolleypup does this and has stunningly long hair. On the other hand, Ed G, who also has stunningly long hair, I believe, said that he washes his hair everyday.
8) If you are blow-drying or brushing your hair, stop. This is the bane of curly hair. Combed gently when wet and air-dryed is the way to go.
I don't feel like you need to start over, but I do think you need to take a different approach. Since nothing you've tried has "worked" for you, then keep trying. What works for one doesn't work for another, so take any suggestions with a grain of salt. Your hair doesn't sound like you've damaged it, so you should be OK once you find a solution to your texture problem.
9) As for the volume reduction, if your hair is weighted down with product and feeling icky, then this might be part of the problem. I imagine at your age that loosing a lot of volume that quickly is unlikely.
Hope this helps! No need to get upset over it. I imagine if you were to post a picture that you would find that your hair is not so bad as you thought. We are all our own worst critics.
Bragi
Wow. Thanks a lot.
Now that you mention it, it does seem like there is something in my hair. It doesn't feel oily, just coated with something. I'm definitely going to look into that clarifying shampoo thing. That sounds like it'll do the trick. I'll let you know how it turns out.
And on that note I wanted to ask you about the leave-in conditioner. I thought leaving something in my hair would give me the tacky kind of feeling that I'm getting now. You don't get that with the leave-ins?
And what about over-conditioning? That's what I thought I might have been doing. How do I know if I'm doing that or not?
Thanks again.
The leave-in conditioner does not leave my hair icky at all, but my hair is very fine in texture, not coarse like you described yours. Once the conditioner dries and I scrunch it up a little, it is just perfect. However, other hair types might repsond differently to a leave-in.
Some people do not need as much conditioner. It depends on the type of hair too. Some conditioners just replicate the natural oils in a person's hair chemically. Others coat the hair shaft (silicon-based ones). If your hair feels weighted down, then you might be using too much conditioner indeed. After you do the clarifying, incrementally increase the amount of conditioner you use each time until you find the right balance.
It sounds like you've been given some some good advice from some long hair experts here... Keep this in mind also, that the longer your hair is, the fewer individual strands you need to lose in order for it to LOOK like you're losing a lot of your hairs. I'm constantly amazed at how much hair it seems like I am losing, however I still have a full head of hair. It is theoretically possible that at age 24 you are losing a lot of hair, but it's unlikely. And if you are it's probably genetic and not attributible to any hair-care practices. I've also read a few places that it's normal for a person to lose 200 or so hairs per day. If those hairs are a foot long or longer, then it's definately going to look like a lot of hair. It's perfectly normal, and it's part of the growth cycle of hair.
Hopefully you'll feel better soon about your hair. If you post a picture of your hair, I'm sure we could all help you a little better.. but hopefully you're already on the path to a happy healthy head of hair :)
Go see a dermatologist or trichologist (not a hair loss institute) immediately and get your scalp examined. Finasteride (propecia) is a an excellent preventative med that will stop any hair loss you might be having if it is genetic.
Although it can have some side effects for a small percentage of people.
I've heard good things about avodart too.
But you're young at 24, so that's definitely on your side if you are (at THIS) point losing your hair.
Also, intense stress can lose to hair loss (search abut it online if you'd like, although I doubt this relates to you).
And I hope you like the hair of Dragonforce's lead singer in particular, curly hair can rock too!
DRAGONFORCE!
You officially rule for posting this. I admit I'd never looked up photos of them before.
Peace
Is the third guy from the left chinese? his face looks asian.
Yes, that's Herman Li, born in Hong Kong. Also, one of the best guitar players in the world today as well as a man with hair that may be past waist length!
Yea maybe Dragon Force could come to Taiwan... they must be good cause I got a friend who likes them.
As a few other have suggested, try a plain water wash. I've been doing that for a while now (washing it 2-3x a week), and I think it has helped my hair (seems to have a bit more sheen now).
The balding may well be genetic, as some have said. A friend of mine is 26 and has a (roughly) 3-inch-diameter bald spot. When I met him 5 years ago, he had a full head of hair. Stress (over your hair, for instance) could be compounding the effect.
Whacking it all off does seem a bit drastic. Just keep trying new things until you find a solution that works for you (as usual, YMMV with any suggestions).
Some people can go longer than others between washings, but environmental residues and DHT can build up quickly on the scalp (causing increased fallout). I can skip one day without washing. But if I skip two days, then I have greatly increased fallout the next shampoo.
Also, try shampooing only your scalp. I always put conditioner on the length of my hair prior to applying shampoo to my scalp. It really cuts down on the drying affect of shampoo.
For your curls, you might want to try the curl experts at Quidad.com. They also offer great products.
not true. There are vast differences.
I don't know but your hair care routine sounds ok to me.
It could be the weather. I live in Florida and the humidity makes my hair look like hell. Do you live in a hot humid climate? If so, That could be your answer.
Hi Curly Fries,
I am sorry to be so late to reply to this thread, I see some of the other guys have given you some great advice. I wholeheartedly agree with using a clarifying shampoo every second ot third shampoo, it appears that you may have some build up problems from conditioners.
Second, please try not too stressed out, as stress can cause problems, both in your overall health, as well as that of your hair.
I noticed in one of your posts, that you have some concerns about balding. I would urge you to see a dematologist as soon as possible if you have any concerns whatsoever. There are medications available that can stop hair loss in its tracks, and reverse it in some cases. They are particularly effective for the young, and the earlier you start, the better. Don't wait!
Take care, and please do not hestitate to ask for help at any time, we are here for you.
All the best,
David
Hi there CF,
I am not sure if you will see this post but here it goes anyway ;) I have thick wavy/curly hair too and it is of medium texture. I live in Southern California so humidity here isn't much of an issue most of the time. I wash my hair on average every other day, sometimes I go 2 days between washings, I just feel how heavy my hair feels from all of the oil my scalp produces. I use pantene pro-v restoratives for frizzy hair since my hair can get dry and this is a hydrating shampoo & conditioner. During the day I regularly play with me hair, but it does have a purpose! ;) I am constatly running my fingers from scalp to ends which helps distribute the oils evenly through the hair. I have never used extra oil, though I have used leave-in treatments every once in a while (like I said earlier it depends on how my hair feels to me, if it feels dry that's when I use the leave-in treatment). When I use the leave-in treatment I leave it in over night and wash it out the next morning. Anyway, this is what has worked for me. I wish you the best in growth and maintenance!
Danny