new thread
Sorry for not posting for so long; IO just moved to Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada (Hey Oren, could you change the Location in my Users' Directory Listing to this?), and just got an internet connection a couple days ago.
Anyway, my family has been (unsuccessfully) pressuring me to cut my hair. They have been calling my hair "Messy" or "Shaggy", and saying that a "trim" will make it look better, even though my hair is longer than any of theirs. Even my brother, a former longhair, wants me to cut it.
I don't know how to get them to stop doing this, but I am NOT chopping my hair off.
Judging by your avatar your hair looks ok, not shaggy, not messy.
They will bother you for some time, my family wanted me to cut it too, it was like 10 months hearing the cut-it-now-you-look-better-with-shorthair song. But they stopped.
Just be firm, and let it grow, everyone someone tells you to cut you just say "tomorrow" and when they ask the next day you remember then that you said "tomorrow" ;)
Restav
Even my brother, a former longhair, wants me to cut it.
Kind of ironic that your brother wants you to as well. It's like high and mighty ex-smokers. What was his hair like?
I think his hair was between shoulder and mid-back length, and in good condition, too.
If they are religous at all you might try " Oh I'm sorry you don't like what God has done with my hair. But as for me I'm happy with his decision."
I'd try saying something like this, but they don't go to church ever. they also never cite religious reasons in their attempts to make me cut my hair.
I don't know your family, but if there anything like mine, they will finally just give up after a while. They don't really hate it probably, they just can't adjust to you looking different. I guess they see you growing up and establishing an identity which is maybe not quite as "safe" as they would like, so the haircut insistance is some effort to maintain control. It's really just human nature to behave that way. Just stand your ground, don't have harsh words over it - just dispel such comments with kindnesses, and let the hair keep growing.
Good luck, Bragi
Thanks for the support, Bragi. Yes, It's most likely them trying to maintain control of me. They have started getting mad at me for doing things which before wouldn't make them flinch (spilling water, for example).
Hello, Burning Pi.
Selective hearing, the salvation of many a marriage, may also work for you! Instead of acknowledging comments such as 'Shaggy' prented to be hard of hearing. Sincerly ignore it, if it is loudly spoken, ask what they said. If they bother to repeat, sheepishly grin and ask again if they could repeat it again. (People won't want to repeat a stupidly made comment more than once - it shows the truth of their having been mean.)
If they repeat it the few times required for you to hear it. Laugh it off with them as though you think they are giving an inside joke. Do not take it as you are sure they intended it. They'd have to yet again repeat it and emphasize more clearly that it wasn't intended to be complimentative or kind-hearted jesting...most simply would not take it that far. Really, I'm sure they don't care enough on the issue to go through this gauntlet each time. not for any amount of time.
Continue this routine for a couple weeks and watch the comments drop to almost nothing. Then, to end it completely, make up new nicknames for them based on a physical aspect of each person that you imagine they consider embarassing. After the whole 'hard of hearing' spiel, acknowledge your 'nickname' by sharing with them an "inside joke" of their new nickname. Keep it kind-hearted (the way you are pretending to imagine their name-calling you to be intended) and there will be no more of this name callling non-sense.
hope this helps.
Post results,
Shawn (Mr.Crow)
The problem isn't name-calling, but having those adjectives added whenever my hair is mentioned.
Hang in there BurningPi. I still get that from my wife but I just smile and remind her that this is what I want and this is what I like. I remind her just because my opinion of long hair is different, doesn't make wrong, just different.
Keep on growin'
Bruce
I would just try ignoring them. Don't respond to anything rude they say. But if they're being mature about it, just insist that that's what you want and you feel more like yourself with it.
Or if it's religious, well, go down the page and find that religious thread there was... there's good advice there.
it won't looks as messy in about a year, when I first started growing my hair out my parents kept nagging, but after it passed the shoulders, they seemed to get used to it. I assume your parents will get used to it.
Aaah, young brother Mr. Pi,
Same very familiar story. I think that Mr. Bragi's sage perspective says it the best. Kudos to you, Bragi.
And thanks for posting this, Pi. Sure brought back memories.
Yours for perseverance and longhaired camaraderie,
Quenyan (+:-)}
Well I'd say consider yourself lucky! At least your family will not force you to get a hair cut but only get mad at you. Just three years ago when I wanted to grow my hair I was forced to cut it..but now they seem to believe I am mature enough to make the decision..it was weird because that was the only thing they were strict about.
-animosity