new thread
So Coach Martin started stuff with me again. Below is a coy of the message sent to the ACLU.
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Today was the day the football players were suppose to pick up their equipment for the season. I showed up and walked in to the school in a group of about four people. Inside Martin called me aside and in a whisper told me "You know the rule. Don't bother siging up for equipment." So I just walked off.
Anyway, I think that means he doesn't want me to show up to practice (practices start Monday.) I am currently thinking of showing up anyway and just acting stupid if he says anything about it. After all, it was Martin who said "we don't cut players, players cut themselves."
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Any opinions on what I should do?
The Americans with disabilities Act: somebody responded to my last post saying that I should get a note from my doctor and use that to help my claim. i'm going Friday for my physical and I'm gonna ask him for a note.
He's trying to get you to fail to show. Don't do it. I wouldn't try the health note idea either.
Show up for practices. Don't do anything, just keep showing up. Don't give up on Football or your hair. Perhaps the ignorant fool will look back on these days with a new respect for those with Long Hair, seeing as how you never gave up on the sport nor what you believed in, even with his blatant cruelty.
ya never gonna give up this battle: if nothing else he WILL remember me.
That sucks, Lupi.
Here's my take:
I wouldn't use the health note. This is really about an obstinate, old-school coach wanting things to be is way, fair or not. If he speaks of fairness and of people not getting cut, but cutting themselves from the team, then hold him up to that standard. GO to practice on Monday and SIGN out the equipment. Make sure you always have a witness or two - others on the team who are friends and whom you trust to stand up for you. I suggest the witnesses, not for fear of attack (verbal or otherwise), but because if you are trying to make him live to those standards, it will require that there be some vestige of the public eye watching his reactions.
It seems he wants to keep his problem with you, just between the two of you. This is his hypocritical, devious way of avoiding being held accountable to his own words. Make his decision to allow you to take home equipment or not, to practice or not, to get playtime or not a PUBLIC decision. YOU start the conversations, when others are present, with questions that require answers:
"I'm here to sign out equipment. Should I take it home today, coach, or after Monday's practice?"
With questions posed like this, with others ther to see the outcome, his response can not be:
* ignoring you;
* whispering implied denial ("don't bother signing out" implies "do not sign out", but he can say he never told you not to); or
* in contradiction of his publically professed notions of fairness ("nobody gets kicked from the team...").
Hard to believe this bull still exists in so-called "free" countries, but, alas, it does.
Keep professional yourself.
Expect the best and highest from him and phrase your questions and interactions with him (as much as you can) so as to allow only that best to be presented to you.
Thank him for the courtesy you pull out of him; make it think it is his idea.
Practice hard, play hard, and kick ASS out on the field because if you become invaluable to your teammate, he wouldn't want to drop you from the team for something as stupid as hairlength.
Shawn (Mr. Crow)
PS Do NOT allow your hair to, in any way, be a liabilty. Tuck it into the helmet or shirt. Do NOT allow his EVER to say, "told you so" or the case is lost for you and any who comes after you for a long time.
Best of luck!
What charley said about the note in his post is why I want to get one. Ya, I think that the martin, the coach, is on a power trip. he is losing (lost) all power he has at home and is trying to assert (abuse) all ther power he is given at his job. I'm definitly showing up monday, but without the caoches permission I can't take out equipment. the make up equipment day is tomorrow and I'm thinking I might try again then. There are several people on the team who say they'll back me up, including the star of the team, but I really don't trust any of them. The aformentioned star recently grew his hair out a bit and is saying he likes it, but I know he'll fold and cut it as soon as he's asked. I have one person on the team who i can trust. I'm the only reason he joined the team and didn't quit anyway. I tend to stick with him most of the time. He is the only witness to the incident between martin and myself (well, there was also coach shmidt but he only heard what I had said.)
Ya, all the school officials act like that with me. they will have two to five people with them and call me to the side away from any witnesses. I'll try to get a public confession from him.
The last response is the most likely. i think he hates me by now. I've been told he might actually be afraid of me (probably because I can make his private business public if I wanted to)
ya, BS like this still happens. When my cousin was arrested for a warrent that expired within the month, he was tasered (spelling?) 2 times, beat and had alot of his (long) hair pulled out from his scalp. Witnesses from the local gas station said he had came out of his car peacfully but in this city anything can be done if you're given any power. He spent the next several days in an intensive care unit in the hospital.
That's why stuff like this ticks me off.
As far as asking questions like that, I'll try but that will be hard. looking at his face pi--es me off.
He'd think anything he says was his idea anyway. He's a real dunce.
I'm not the fastest and my stamina is sub-par, (working on both)but i can take anyone out if i hit'em so I'll do my best to prove I'm valuable to them. I'm also dedicated to a decent degree. I've went to every practice we've had (speed school, a winter running program, and both winter and summer weight trining sessions) unlike most others. out of all three of the schools football teams, we averaged about thirty people at each session.
don't worry, I've been tucking it in since last season trying to prove he was talking out of his a--. I've went as far as wearing a hairnet to show them there are various methods to keep my hair from being a liability.
thanks man.
Also, I was talking to an associate of my mothers, an african american associate. She told me that when the african amrican students hair gets longer all they have to do is braid their hair and they're allowed to play. I'm thinking I'll see if I can pull that off. I don't think they'll let me though.
You must play their game on that. No witnesses, no discussion. Period. They are intent on covering their butts on this. You must be as steadfast in covering yours.
People who work with minors are actually often told to not be with a minor alone, but in this case it is you who needs protection from them. If they try to assert "confidentiality" or some other similar "right" of yours to be abused by them alone, simply say, "I waive it." You need people present for the same reason that they do.
Bill
Lupi, your stuation makes my skin crawl. I'm sorry that you misinterpreted my recapitulation of sexual harrassment in an incident (or, come to think of it, make that plural; there wasn't only just one, there was only one where my coach blew up at me for never showering in junior high gymn classes!) as a recommendation to get a doctor's note!
You want on the team. You are an athlete. I was, even in the early 1970's, not predisposed to sports. I was the music and art and summer stock theatre type. My doctor's note simply spared me from an unconscionable predicament that could've escalated into, say, homosexual rape. Forget about the note. Steer the course. Remain firm. Show up for practice. Persevere.
Once again, you're getting a certain amount of sage advice, I daresay, from your elders here, if you will. The main intention OF this board is largely to support the morale of those who are up against the vitriol of those who denigrate men who grow their hair long, not to overlook all of the great growing tips, upkeep, nutrition, and hair products for its optimal maintenance.
Lupi, stick to your goal, stay on the team, whether or not the coach or this Martin guy like your haircut or not. I wager that THEY have a wager as to whether or not you'll cut your hair.
Best wishes in longhaired support and camaraderie,
Quenyan (+:-)}
Actually, i was talking about Charley who told me to get a note. I woudn't get a note to get me out of football, I'd just quit. Sorry for the confusion. By the way I'm really sorry all that happened to you.
Ya, this site is one of the few things that have lifted my spirit through all this.
Martin is the head coach and is the only person at school who's opinion matters (not that I paricularly care about it, but the other caoches and the principal does.) They probably do have a wager. by now I think they know I'm not going to cut it so... don't know where I was going with that.
Today I went to the weight training maxouts (1-5 rep max) for football, and nothing was said about my hair. Too bad really, If they would have ticked me off I might have been able to lift more.
At our school the top weightlifters (those who can lift 1000+ pounds in between four lifts) in the football weight lifting program are put into the 1000 pound club.(real original name, huh?) Well, people in my group (freshman/ sophmores) rarely (if ever) make it into the club. I only got 980 pounds. Too bad, I was hoping to prove my value by making it in.
Oh well... I did make the coaches stay after an extra half an hour so me and my friend could make up our lifts from monday (our car wasn't working properly. I called up the coach to show him I was reliable and explained the situation then, so my absence was considered excused.)
Oh Well, theres always winter weight training.
Also, I am going to practices which begin Monday. The coaches told me today that I need a physical, which to me means that they want me to show up. I will get Friday and give it to them then.
Is high school football really this important? I worry this could really turn ugly and you could get hurt. From what I read about this "Martin" guy in your last posts, he sounds violent and can get away with it. Obviously, he got away for hitting a kid.
Do you want to play ball this bad or are you just trying to prove a point? To me, I would worry more about education and college as this is way more important in the long run. These fools that give you crap in high school will be completely meaningless in the real world. Their words will also be meaningless. Trust me on this, I am speaking from experience. I was made out at a couple of schools I went to as someone that will never succeed, even by teachers. Boy did I prove those fools wrong. :-)
If you quit, your coach will probably make it well known. However, is a future employer going to care about quitting a football team. Highly unlikely they will care. Employers look at higher education, skill, and experience.
I would worry more about doing well academically and getting accepted into a good college.
I am not being nonsupporting, I just see this situation as being harmful as you have limited rights as a minor. I don't want to see your mental or physical health go down the tubes.
Best of wishes,
Mike
Thanks for your concern. I'm actually not sure what football means to me anymore. It was something I really wanted to do when I first began this, but now, like you said, it might just be to prove a point. Also, I don't want anyone else to go through all this.
He is violent and can get away with it, but if he hits me I can take it. I don't want to get physical with him, but if he does anything he would regret it.
Education wise, I'm in the secondary honors program and in the advance placement courses in my school. I currently have a 4.75 average which is slightly lower then my average when I came to the school (5.0).
My mental health is staggering, I will admit that, but my physical health has never been perfect and has only two new problems because of them (ulcer, high blood pressure.) The high blood pressure is in my genes from both my parents so it was inevitable that I get it eventually.
This thread bothers me, I have to wonder if you're making a big
mistake. The image that keeeps running through my mind
is that of Daryl Stingly, a player for the New England
Patriots.
A hit in one game left him a parapalegic, he died recently,
still a paraplegic.
I have to wonder if you're following in his footsteps.
I think that's scaremongering. If any teacher hit someone that hard their career would be over, assuming they even avoided doing hard time in the big house.
i recently graduated high school first off i need to ask if you go to a private or charter school as i came from in which case the only way to get out of cutting your hair would be medical help. but if you go to a public school with no pre set rules then your fighting the wrong person go to a higher authority in the school a principle or a dean. if you ask me what your coach is doing is pulling his own rules out of his ass and expecting you to follow them, and he has no right to do that. ive fought ever authority figure in my school taken every punishment possible from detention and suspension to expulsion. ive had a full half page added to the hair section in my private school's rule book. all of which i believe to be worth it good luck bro your hair is always worth the fight
It's public. I fought with the athletic director (now principal) all last year. He kept saying he's wasted too much time on this subject already, and would then call me out of class again later to talk over my latest stunt. He had a habit of calling me out of spanish class to talk with him. (It feels like I only attended half of my spanish classes). I do agree with you that they were pulling rules out of their a--es however. I've even had the schools superintendent and an illinois congressman chew them out and all that resulted in was another trip to the principals office and an old (new) rule being found (created.) please refer to my reply to your other post.
first i gotta ask you if your school is public or a private/charter school if its public with no preset rules your coach has no authority to not only tell you to cut your hair but to restrict you from any school play you need to go to a higher authority in the school such as a dean or principle. if you go to a private or charter as i did you the only real way to get out of cutting your hair is medical or religious reasons im not sure on your religion but you clearly fit the medical standards. take this from a guy whose fought every school authority figure taken every punishment from detention and suspension to expulsion and proudly had a whole half page of new hair restrictions added to his school rule book lol (not a good thing but nice to know i bugged them so much to have to do that) your hair is always worth the fight
It's a public school. No, there is no such rule in either the school handbook or the athletic handbooks. I've brought this up to the school enough times that they made a new rule just for me. They called me out of class and into the principals office to tell me they found an OLD rulebook with the rule that the head coach of an athletic activity may RECOMMEND a haircut. They then went and made me a photo copy of that page. Later, they refused my mother permission to see the rulebook.
I'm 90% sure that the new rule will be in the athletic handbook this year however.
Thanks for the support too.
lol my principle once whipped a rule book out from 89 i said doesnt say 07 on the cover so im not following it if it is in the rule book next year then the only choice is the med papers best of luck man :{ ] let me know how it turns out