new thread
My wife pointed out a recent Ann Landers column where the wife of the letter didn't like her husband's long hair and wanted to get him to cut it "because he looked better" with short hair. Ann's advice was to schedule the haircut appointment together and accompany him on the trip, buy him a nice dinner/movie and maybe some sex afterwards as a bribe. Oh brother. Anybody feel like sending her a letter?
Before we get started on a Jihad, I would like specific citations: date, title, etc. When writing a protest letter, it always helps to be as specific as possible. If you can give us that info, I will be the first to write.
Scott (of the long hair)
Thank you Scott. I was thinking the same thing. If this truly was a response from Ann Landers, her generational gap is showing. She usually tries to keep an open mind about everything. I wonder about the specifics, as well.
SHF (of the shaved head)
Well, I was hoping everyone could look in their paper so I wouldn't have to type it all out. :) But I'll see what I can do.
Ok, here goes ----
Dear Ann:I have been married for two years to “Ned,” a wonderful, gentle, caring man. We are both 47 years old.The problem is Ned’s hair. I have a terrible time getting him to cut it. We’ve had dozens of arguments over this. I hope I don’t sound too shallow, but appearance is important to me. Ned looks so much better when his hair is neatly trimmed. He dresses well and is really a good-looking man, but his head is a mop of tight curls that has grown so long, it is unkempt and bushy. We were in a restaurant recently and a waiter mistook him for a woman. You’d think that would have done the trick, but it didn’t. He just laughed it off.Ned told me he dislikes going to the barber and has had a problem with it since he was a child. Whatever his phobia might be, don’t you think it’s time he got over it? I have tried everything I can think of to encourage Ned to get haircuts regularly, but nothing works. I feel hurt that he doesn’t care enough to look neat for his wife. Any suggestions?Blue Indigo in IowaAnn’s response:Offer to go with Ned to the barber “for company, “ and then maybe to a movie and dinner afterward. In other words, make the haircut part of a festive day (and night, too, if you know what I mean). If all this sounds like a bribe, so be it. I say, whatever works.
1.) The husbands hair is bushy and unkempt. I wouldn't want to walk around with someone who looked unkempt either. Their is a difference between well taken care of long hair, and unkempt long hair.
2.) The wife says her husband has a phobia for barbers.
Apparently Ann is taking this to mean that the man has a real fear. Maybe she was just trying to offer a way to make it easier to get this woman's husband to look decent. I don't think a haircut would be out of line for this man. If he actually liked his hair, and took responsibility for its upkeep, that would be another story. It just sounds to me like he is slovenly.
It sounds to me like his periodic but infrequent haircuts keep him perpetually in the awkward phase. I know what that is like, I spent 15 years there.
Ok, here goes ----
Dear Ann:
I have been married for two years to “Ned,” a wonderful, gentle, caring man. We are both 47 years old.The problem is Ned’s hair. I have a terrible time getting him to cut it. We’ve had dozens of arguments over this. I hope I don’t sound too shallow, but appearance is important to me. Ned looks so much better when his hair is neatly trimmed. He dresses well and is really a good-looking man, but his head is a mop of tight curls that has grown so long, it is unkempt and bushy. We were in a restaurant recently and a waiter mistook him for a woman. You’d think that would have done the trick, but it didn’t. He just laughed it off.Ned told me he dislikes going to the barber and has had a problem with it since he was a child. Whatever his phobia might be, don’t you think it’s time he got over it? I have tried everything I can think of to encourage Ned to get haircuts regularly, but nothing works. I feel hurt that he doesn’t care enough to look neat for his wife. Any suggestions?
Blue Indigo in Iowa
Ann’s response:Offer to go with Ned to the barber “for company, “ and then maybe to a movie and dinner afterward. In other words, make the haircut part of a festive day (and night, too, if you know what I mean). If all this sounds like a bribe, so be it. I say, whatever works.
You posted the article but there is still no date.
It's Thursday, August 30.
I think Ann is completely right here. The guy is a slob and needs to get his act together. Her ways of gentle persuasion are right on the money.
The guy is 47 and it's time to move on from his hippy days.
You don't know that. You certainly can't tell from the article whether he is a slob or not. In fact, there's more in the article to indicate he is not ("he dresses well"). To me it sounds like the lady is overly concerned about appearances. She admits as much, in fact.
If the man has a phobia of the barber, that is one thing. But I have a feeling there's more to the story here. Perhaps a better pearl of wisdom is this:
"Ned" has had this "problem" since childhood. Obviously, then, she knew what she was marrying into. It is unfair of her to try to get him to change after the fact. She accepted him as is when they married.