new thread
I return to school in about a week. I go to a Catholic high school with pretty strict rules on hair: bangs above eyebrows, hair can't cover ears, and in the back the collar can't touch. There's essentially no hope of this rule changing in the foreseeable future.
So I have to get a haircut in a few days. I hope to avoid trouble by bringing old pictures and very specifically describing limitations to the hairdresser, but I need some help. I have rather thick, wavy (not curly but certainly not straight) hair, as the picture shows. For a while I was considering purchasing an artificial wig with authentic-looking, school-appropriate hair and somehow bundling up my real hair inside of that, but having no experience with wigs, I don't quite think my ruse will escape the attention of the new disciplinarian.
My other option is trimming my hair in a way so that I can at least grow part of it out without running into a violation. My hair always grows thick and quickly in the back, so I'll sacrifice it there. Since I don't have thin, straight hair, I can't brush the sides back. But maybe in the front I can comb it back into a sort of mullet. It won't look fashionable, but it'd give me the chance I've been waiting for to grow my bangs long. I guess I'll try this.
One of my friends mentioned layering. I can't find much about this technique other than it involves cutting the hair underneath more or less than the hair on top. Would this be a good cut for my hair? How would it look?
I guess I'm also obliged to show off my one-day experiment with this crazy hair gel stuff. My liberty spikes didn't turn out looking so great and they had to be supported by rubber bands, but all the same it was fun going out into public and attracting stares:
http://a481.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/74/l_846b2e409f6a5963b8b850ec7a1de1b0.jpg
Anyway, this place is great for inspiration. I can't wait till college - no more haircuts then! I'll post more pictures when I can borrow the digital cam.
It has always boggled my mind that a school run by a church will impose such rules upon the students, and yet at the very sight of an artists' depiction of the son of God will get on their knees despite seeing long hair. The teaching of love, acceptance and understanding. Where is it when it comes to long hair which we are suppose to have anyway?
I get upset at this too. I think kids should be allowed to express themselves. I never had this chance growing up and it haunts me to this day.
I think this has to do with order. But still, long hair can be very neat if not neater.
My suggestion is to take strong gel (that is, gel that will hold your hair down) and get comb all of your hair back as smoothly as possible, then tie as much of the back of your hair into a ponytail. In this way, the hair at the back won't touch the collar, and if the school allows this hairstyle, as it shouldn't be violating the letter of the law, you'll be able to gradually grow your hair long enough for a full ponytail. By that time, you'll be able to do various types of buns, which will keep the hair off the collar better than a long ponytail.
Of course, if this doesn't work, you could always just wait it out, as bleak as it may sound. You're in high school, right? Well, when you get to college, you can always grow your hair there, and you can jump-start it as soon as you get out of this high school gulag.
Peace
Although I really wish this was an option, I don't think that the school would accept a neat-looking ponytail. I've decided on combing my hair back and cutting it where I have to. Thanks for the idea -- I'll talk to the administration carefully about allowing restricted longer hair.
I just dont get why Religous Schools have a problem with long hair, When they tell you to get a haircut ask them why Jesus had long hair LoL.
I comb my hair pretty much straight back. No bangs to come near my eyebrows that way. It also goes over my ears so that it doesn't cover them. At the back, there's not much you can do but you could at least grow out the front and the sides this way.
One thing that I find interesting at least, is that other than the length, the way I style my hair is pretty close to the way my grandfather did his, as well as several business executives of my aquaintance. If you take a look at George Clooney's hair in "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" you'll get an idea of what I mean.
"...strict rules on hair: bangs above eyebrows, hair can't cover ears, and in the back the collar can't touch.
by very specifically describing those limitations to the hairstylist, he or she should be able to design a style which will conform to the letter of the law....take it from a stylist who knows from experience (I have many local Catholic male students as clients for this very reason) BUT you must first find a LONGHAIR-FRIENDLY stylist...one who will remove ONLY what is absolutely necessary to satisfy the school's "hair police". That is the most important factor in your equation. In my opinion a wig would appear too obvious; and forget about layering (will only remove more hair than you want to remove, more hair than you have to remove).
Good luck!
Bruce: I am so glad to see you posting again at MLHH. May I
ask why the long absence? I and many others consider you the utlimate hair guru and I always enjoy reading your posts. Do you still have your consulting business? Anyway, glad you're back.
The long absence has been just from posting (I faithfully read the latest MLHH postings daily) when it seemed for a time as a licensed barber I was considered just the opposite from an ultimate hair guru (thanks for the compliment). Manstyle/Market Square (my men's grooming resource center) relocated to Dover NH from Portsmouth; personal image consulting business still going strong. Thanks for asking...
Show them my picture. It is long hair yet people say I look like an apostle or Jesus. Maybe they will see how long hair and being apostolic can be one and the same.
Unfortunately, you are stuck with the school's uniform code. I know a lot of people have a problewm with these dress codes, but the private and parochial schools often have them so everyone basically dresses and looks the same. The focus is on learning, not fashion, and having a uniform code prevents conflicts, since both the poorest and wealthiest kids all look the same. At least you are'nt required to get a crew cut, which some religious (mostly fundamentalist)schools require.
I personally feel that the schools could relax the hair requirements, while still maintaining the uniform look. Businesses who allow long hair, often require that it be neatly tied back, and not hanging in the face. Of course, you could always use the "Jesus had long hair", and even many of his disciples did. Both James and John wore their hair long. David's son Absalom was known for his gorgeous mane. And then there is the story of Samson and Delilah. Maybe you can impress them with some biblical research. If that doesn't work, dazzling them with BS might get their attention. :-D
Carol
Dear Breeg,
Do not hang yourself a few days before you are scheduled for execution. There is always the possibility of pardon. Consider getting a mini trim, just to make it a bit neater but taking off no more than 1/2 inch.
Go to school. It is always possible that the holy spirit has acted to silence the tongues of those who would condemn long hair. If the rule is enforced, you must then ask for the theological basis of the policy. Or is it arbitrary: [simply enforced conformity to the taste of sexually oppressed adults?] It will take all year to deal with this proceedure. By then your hair will be mid back.
Most likely by this time the executioners will have gotten to know you, learned to like you, and actually come to think that you hair is fine.
If not, you could appeal it to the Bishop, who perhaps once believed that the church was about important things, [like feeding the hungry, visiting prisioners, and working for peace on earth] but now has substituted a group of pointless rules, so he tells your school to stop making a fool of our denomination.
It is critical during this proceedure that you: A. Always be neat. B. Always be polite, & C. Maintain at least a B average, and preferably an A.
[Is it irrelevant that my unconscious mind, AKA holy spirit, caused me to show in the previous paragraph the basic structure of a concerto?]
This ought not to be an expensive process. There are consultants there along the way from this group. I certainly am, and have a credential that would make my advocacy relevant on some points.
If they say that you may not begin school until you get a tonsure, it would be appropriate to go to the county maagistrate and ask for an injunction from the appropriate bench for the school to decese and desist from enforcing an arbitrary and not yet justified policy, untill this has been settled in ecclesiastic courts. This is a do it yourself porcess. You can find instructions for you state on line I am sure. In spite of the dire, dark clouds in the sky, our justice system still functions on a B+ level on the basic levels.
Going through this process can be very educational for you, you will experience some anxiety, but you can also feel energized. It will be clear to you at least by the end of this process whether you wish to reaffirm your allegiance to this religious instittion, or whether you want to run as fast as you can in another direction.
Civil courts cannot really tell an ecclesiastic organization what their policy may be, but they can very likely require it to disclose the rationale for their policy.
So it is not really necessary for this to be dealt with in civil court, which at best can prevent involuntary violation of your body as a condition for attending school prior to policy clarification.
I hope your parents are supportive. If they are not, I will write them to explain why they should be, as long as you are committed to the ABCs.
Ex. Ch.
Caledonian
I went to school the other day (before the semester started) to turn in some forms showing I received credit for a math class, and one of the guidance counselors, who knows and respects me well, politely mentioned a haircut and shaving. As much as I'd love for a magic rule change, it won't happen.
They never justify any of their rules, but I would guess it has something to do with reputation. If other prospective parents see students of our school with "messy" (synonymous with long, in our admins' eyes) hair, then they will of course immediately lose respect for the school. Never mind the character of the student.
I've got these covered. I'm destined to be valedictorian, I have my college scopes set high, I took a math class over the summer for fun (and credit), and my teachers know this. I can understand why making an exception would be extremely unfair -- even I wouldn't go for it. I suppose by limiting our creativity in appearance, they're exercising some sort of control over the masses. I don't agree with this, obviously. The most academically prestigious public school around here is of course well respected, yet most students there have radical appearances.
As far as seeking actual legal methods of making them come to their senses, I just don't have faith that it would work. A private institution doesn't have to allow every freedom guarenteed by law. Attacking the Catholic church as a whole is an even more daunting task.
This is where things break down. I would be going for the gel/slick-back ruse, but my parents aren't entirely on board. They know how important hair is to me; they're just law-abiding citizens. Even my dad, who quit the golf team in high school rather than cut his hair, tells me just to wait a few years till college.
I'll keep trying, somehow. Thanks for the humorous rhetoric and inspiration!
my friend me and you have something in common i too went to a catholic school just graduated and starting college in the fall and the rules i had to follow were also very very very strict ears must be visible off the forehead cannot reach collar what seemed to work for me was gel as horrible as that may sound :{ [ but i would gel my hiar strait back and sacrifice the back which made my hair look terrible so i ended up layering which is great but so terrible to grow out :{ [ bellow is a picture of me just before graduation which i hate because of the poofyness my hair had to stay in all year to follow the rules
ignore the black spots under my lip lol my best advice to you is to run from school authorities and when cornered come out guns blazing with every solution you can think of to get them off your back gel tucking it behind your ears etc etc good luck man
Breeg,
Do what you must to get through this part of an irrational system. I am relieved that your academic standing is solid, and that will get you to a college which does not care how short your hair is as long as you go forward.
There is always some degree of stress involved in comeing to grips with the fact that the religious tradition which has been nurturing to us and provided us with much valid moral guidance has blinders on in regard to others, and in technical, professional ethical term has no respect for consequences as long as the rules are followed, or conssequentialism vs. deontology. So do your duty one more year, and then fly into freedom of personal responsibility.
Strive for a higher ethic than your church has taught, while valuing the awareness that you have received there.
Caledonian