new thread
Hi All,
So, Right now my hair is down to the lower part of my back. I've tried to keep it as healthy as possible, but seems like alot is breaking of lately, and if i don't either keep it braided or in segmented ponytail it tangles like you wouldn't believe. I'm just getting tired of the hassel. So I'm thinking of going back to a long shoulder length style, so I can wear it down and enjoy it. And not spend an hour combing it out every day. I've just had so much going on, that I need a change.
I like the idea of having it to my waist, but it's just starting to rule my life. I'd like to get a BMW Z4 convertable, and it will be so hard to deal with. I've also have gained a longer commute to work, and would like the extra sleep in the morning.
It's also been problematic for dating. It seems to be a big turn off. I use to say that I wouldn't cut it for anyone, and I won't but I would like to have someone in my life too, as Its lonely being single...I've had alot of people tell me shoulder length is just very sexy.
Plus I've just needed a change very badly, as I've been a touch depressed lately. It seems like the last few years have been very hard. I want a change in careers, where I live, and live in general, maybe this will help me.
So I'm attaching photos of how it looks now, one from when it was around shoulder length. I'm thinking of something like Travis Fimmel looking...maybe a tad longer.
What it looked like before at that length
I like the shoulder length best on you bro. I know...blasphemy on this board, but I think it likes cooler.
Vince
Certain members of this site are going to want to choke me for saying this, but I do think the shoulder length works better for you. I don't know if it's your facial structure or what, but different lengths work for different people. It's your hair, so do as you please with it. =)
-James
Hey James,
No worries about me choking you, --- and besides, you're a lot taller than me, so maybe you're too hard for me to reach (lol)!!
I'm all for what makes someone happiest, --- and even occasionally think about going back to shoulder-length myself (for the very same reasons as Tommy Turbo has so clearly stated).
The one thing I truly hate to see, though, is when a guy has a great mane and cuts it all off super-short, --- as if it meant NOTHING to him, or anybody else (not that anyone should live their lives for others' sake)... I've always encouraged guys who sound serious about wanting to cut their hair shorter, to at least consider doing so MODERATELY. Since I know from experience from my own devastating short haircut back in Y2K, I'd be doing this board a big disservice if I recommended otherwise...
But, just to clarify my message to Tommy: I'm behind you 100%, --- especially if this is a decision you've very carefully thought through (like as is often said around here, using the, "2-week rule"). Better to cut off a little length at a time, though, "just to make sure", than to suddenly take off to much length...
- Ken in San Francisco
Here is Travis Fimmel, thinking kinda like this.
And Travis has wonderful modest long hair, but one has to remember that any photos seen of him are "doctored-up" a bit as with all stars or models by experts that make the subject look the best of all.
Just remember that if you do decide to go with hair this length (which is a piece of cake to care for) that it will NEVER look the same as Travis nor will you as the facial features and all are different.
Before getting it cut, is it possible for you to wait 2 weeks while you think about it? I say this because I have seen so many times a guy on this Hyperboard act on impulse and afterwards regret. "If" after waiting 2 weeks you are still in a "I can't wait to have that style" mood, at that time I would go for it.
Best of luck to you in your decision.
wow. i can't believe you have problems with dating because, quite frankly, you are gorgeous. if i saw you walking around my town you would get my phone number in a heartbeat. the girls in your town must just be jealous and scared of being seen with someone whose hair is nicer than thiers.
as far as taking so much time in the morning or getting tangled while driving in a convertable - have you ever put your hair up in a bun? my hair is the same length as yours, and before sleeping i twist my hair into a bun on top of my head. when i wake up, i pull the stick out and, viola!, my hair is done for the day - no combing needed. the same works for preventing tangles from any kind of wind.
but, hey... do what makes you happy. change can be a good thing. regardless of what you do with your hair, i hope you get things worked out in your life.
peace,
nic
p.s. if you decide to move, i vote for phoenix. ;)
since you chose to 'out' yourself here...
i know that there are gay mens long haired boards on the web, as well. if you haven't already, google it. a bunch of stuff comes up. perhaps one of them would be more helpful to you. :)
peace,
nic
I'm familiar with it, however, again most guys there are my dads age or older, not really what I'm looking for in a bf. Also Most people assume I am straight, because of my demeanor...which is ok, but I don't find really "gay" guys atractive. Hope that makes some sense.
it makes perfect sense. people who are super fem - be they gay, straight, male or female - tend to turn me away. i have plenty of gay male friends and most of them are taken for straight all the time, so i know how hard it can be to find someone similar. one of my gay friends is major into metal, and he doesn't think he'll ever find anyone, either.
funny story - my mom used to ask me all the time why i wouldn't date my friend jeff. i would always answer, 'because sometimes having the same interest doesn't make you compatible.' she finally asked me, years later, what i meant by that. i said, 'mom - we're both interested in guys. that's just not gonna work out.' the look on her face was priceless.
I think one of the problems is that anyone outside of the norm of a particular subculture doesn't register on the radar as well. I'm sure there are plenty of long-haired gay guys out there, but since none of you fit the stereotypcial gay norm you don't notice each other as much.
It's like I told one of my co-workers once (who happens to be gay): "You know, it'd be so much easier if everyone walked around with a t-shirt giving information about their status [single/in a relationship], sexual orientation, age, and thoughts on having children. Then I wouldn't have so much guesswork!"
Mouse
NOt moving to Phoneix, too hot. I live in socal desert and thats too hot. I'm into guys, and they are fickle about hair. But I am fickle about who I date, so guess I am even. Few people know I am gay, and I am mistaken for straight all the time, and I still can't think of a time in the last few years when a woman has even hit on me.
It is just that I need a change in life, and want something easier...but i haven't made u my mind yet.
Absolutely nothing wrong with going back to shoulder length- very practical and quite good looking as well.
I am a total obssessed when it comes to lenght, so I really do vote on the longer lenght.
BUT, it seems you are really determined and really looking forward for a change... you know what? It'll grow back if you decide to cut and regret =) So if you are really wanting a change, I'd say go for it! I like both looks on you anyways ^^
Thanks for your thoughts, I've not made up my mind yet. I too like it long, but really need a change in my life, and the hair takes so much time in the morning. Along with alot of other things I mentioned.
Hi Tommy,
I know what you mean about attracting the ladies with longer hair. I went through it from the age of 16. It really takes a special kind of lady and in my experience's they are a lot funner to be around anyways. But I have to add that your hair looks better at shoulder length, but it also looks good longer. :)
Chris
I'm into guys, and they don't like it at all...but i don't like most gay men, so guess I am even, lol.
I sure wouldn't kick Tommy out of bed!
Glad to hear it, cause I hate sleeping on the floor. Email me sometime.
Well, very few of us are going to look like Travis F, regardless of what we do.
I personally like the longer hair on you and you most likely do as well, or, you wouldn't have grown it so long. If someone likes you better with shorter hair then what will they want to change next. I would not cut the hair. There are plenty of women that LOVE long hair on a man.
Just think before you cut. UBU!
BTW, Travis would look better with longer hair. Actually, he might just look a little bit too good:)
Jeffrey.
just using travis as an example
Hi Tommy. I think your hair looks great really long. The shoulder length looks good, but the really long hair looks incredible. Of course, you are the one that has to feel good about yourself and the way you look. Maybe try cutting it to mid back and see how you like it there. Once it is cut, it takes a long time to grow back and you wouldn't want regret over cut hair to add to your depression. I hope you make the right decision and are happy with it.
Del
Well, I think you look great either way. Shoulder length is still long, and you can always grow it back in the future. I think you have to do what works best for you. I'd hate to see you go any shorter than shoulder length. As for the ladies, the longhair lovers are out there. It may be harder to find them, because there are few, but they ARE there. You may make other changes, and then find you want to grow the hair longer again. But ultimately, it has to be your decision, and what you are most comfortable with. Just don't do it just to please others. Good luck!
Carol
Thanks, but I am into guys, and gay guys just don't like it...and frankly I don't like most gay men...I am an out cast in so many worlds that it's not even funny.
Well, yeah, when you put it that way. Have you tried the sister board to MLHH, Gay Longhair? I copied and pasted the link from the links page, and posted it below for you. I think you will find you are not alone, and that many will commiserate with your situation. Several members here are gay/bi, and post there as well.
You may want to check out some of the boards for gay bears, it seems the bear types are far more open and accepting of lonhairs, thus many longhairs feel more at home there. I'm sure the guys at Gay Longhair can point you in the right direction. Bear types tend to be far less superficial then their manscaped, clean-cut counterparts.
Good luck in finding your way in life. You sound a bit depressed, so relocating to an area where you find more acceptance is probably a good idea. You are young, and quite attractive, so there is somebody, and something, out there for you. So don't give up just yet.
Carol
Gay Longhair
Hi there Tommy...Hairball here!Well I do have to say after reading your post you certainly make a lot of points justifying cutting your hair but obviously there are just as many for keeping it long.As you can tell my hair is very long and I do admit it takes dedication dealing with having it that long.I don't let my hair rule my life but I do make comprimises.Most of the time going outdoors I have to restrain it for obvious reasons but at least at the end of the day I can go home and let it all hang loose and enjoy it.I never cared how others felt about my hair as its the way I want it and thats final.In all the years I've had long hair and its been awhile I've never had the urge to chop it thankfully.Anyway I would give it a lot of thought and if you must do it I think del offered the best solution being going to mid back as its less drastic and maybe thats better suited for you.Of course I'll always say stay at waist but thats me.As for the beamer like the old Jersey saying goes ..............
"Longhair and Beamers....PERRRRRRRRFECT Together!" LOL. I think the Jersey members here will know where that phrase came from.At least the last part of it!
Mark
Tommy -
I echo what nic said. In your OP you didn't say whether you are looking for a girl or a guy, but if it is the latter I would date you in an instant.
I've been through the longhair loneliness thing too so I know what you're going through. I can't make it better for you but I can sympathize. I can also give you some feedback. The long hair you have now makes you look stunning. It is much more flattering to you than the medium-length hair in the older picture. You obviously like your long hair, and if someone else can't get past the length, they're not the right person for you, plain and simple. You want someone who likes you just the way you are.
Think of it this way, too. Without long hair you are just another short-hair competing with the millions of other short-hairs in the world. You're just another face in the crowd. Your long hair is one of the things that makes you distinctive.
I'm not going to give you advice as to whether to cut it or not, but perhaps there are ways other than cutting it to make it lower maintenance and easier to deal with? My hair won't grow as long as yours so I can't help you there (but I am soooo envious!). It would be a tragedy to see such beautiful hair get cut, but hey, it's your hair.
I haven't decide yet what I am going to do...just ideas at this point. Well everyone says that I'm attractive, but I have never had anyone (around my age +- 5 years) come up to me and ask me out or hit on me at all. I guess I will out myself here too, I am into guys. But only guys around my age, I get hit on by guys who are my dads age or older, and I'm just not into them at all.
Plus I have felt I am stagnating in my lfe and would like a change. Plus the simple logistics of getting through the bath room faster in the am.
Hi, you should send me an email sometime.
Hello TommyTurbo
I'm sure you don't remember me, but we exchanged e-mails some time ago (two years ago?) when you used to post more frequently to the board.
Since then, I've thought about you often, as I thought you had lovely hair and that you were really attractive. It's really nice to see your picture on the board again. Please don't cut it!! Even to shoulder length!
I'm gobsmacked to hear that you are gay. Me too. I just assumed that you were straight, being into cars and things. So maybe I have a chance with you after all :-) :-)
Seriously, don't cut your hair to try to get a boyfriend. Wait for Mr. Right. I'm fortunate in that I found mine three years ago. And now he is beating me in the hair-growing stakes!
Sorry to hear about your mum.
Best wishes
mookie
I suprise alot of people...you should email me sometime.
Your hair is perfect. It would be a shame to cut it, but of course it's your decision.
I would guess that gay guys probably tend to have the same ideal as straight women do, i.e. they want someone masculine and they perceive that as being someone with short hair. I know that there are some women who like long haired guys, so there must be some gay men who do.
Hell, you aren't the only gay guy on here who HAS long hair himself, not by far. If more of them are older that is probably because they are from the hippie generation.
My wife has never been particularly into men with long hair, but she married me and she has never asked me to cut it (she knows I wouldn't anyway). IMHO most women don't care if their partner has long or short hair. Surely there must be gay guys out there who don't care about that either?
I read your recent post to the MLHH. You are not alone. Years past your age, I'm in a very similar place in my life: partial to guys, but absolutely do not relate to the gay culture or lifestyle or whatever. Almost no one knows. I've chosen to focus instead on the other parts of my life: I have a great career, make decent money, have good friends, attend lots of hockey games and baseball games, workout, and I've developed many interests and a strong faith. I've learned that helping others is what leads to happiness. I don't dwell on what I don't have, but make the most of what I do, which is more than most of the rest of the world.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. And you're right: sometimes it does help to mix things up a bit in your life to get a fresh perspective on things. Even small changes can help, and that's coming from someone who likes the security of the status quo.
Well, that's one guy's perspective, for what it's worth. Keep your attitude up. Don't sweat the small stuff. Seek help when you need it. I hope things work out for you. Holler if you want.