new thread
I've been growing it for about a year, and my parents are blackmailing me into having it cut or styled. (Otherwise they say I'll wake up bald. Anyway here are some pictures of me;
http://www.imagehosting.com/show.php/1047469_meeee.bmp.html
http://www.imagehosting.com/show.php/1047481_meagain.bmp.html and heres a picture of me with my glasses on.
Any advise please?
Clarification, fellow hair enthusiast...
By you waking up bald, do you mean that your hair will fall out or your parents will be using clippers as you sleep. The first part is not true and the second part is abuse or battery or some such thing.
Assuming you are of an age where your decisions in life matter, let your parents know that long hair is your choice. And you have chosen a style. The unfortunate thing for them is that in order to reach this style you need to let everything grow as "styling" will keep you from reaching your goal style.
Hi sa rouse,
I didn't have time to look up the pics, because I'm about to dash off to work right now; but, I will share my experiences of when I was young, hoping that this perspective will help...
I had to leave home and enter into the work force at age 18, right after my dad divorced my step-mom, because my dad was impossibly difficult & unreasonable to deal with, --- including the fact that he only permitted me and my brothers to have military-style short haircuts in his household. I had only been away at college for one full year, then made the decision to leave home when I returned for summer break. It was a difficult decision, and cost me the inability to complete my college education; but, considering the fact that my dad was abusive, as well as unreasonable to deal with about the hair issue, I did what I had to do, --- and never asked him for a penny to help me out financially in any way, once I left.
I don't know your age, since you didn't state it; but, to me your parents sound at least a bit more reasonable and allowing of at least SOME degree of extra hair length than my dad EVER allowed... Be grateful for every inch of hair they allow and don't complain about right now, and rest assured that it won't be all that long before someday soon you will be on your own and be totally free to make your own decisions completely without them!!!
Here is my suggestion for what to do: if you work real hard in school right now, striving to get EXCELLENT grades, chances are that they'll lighten up about whatever length you'd like to grow your hair to. For now, it sounds like they've given you the ultimatum of either trim it a bit, --- or they will buzz it all off for you! Am I correct in how I just stated that? If they are serious, and they really intend on following through with that, you have to weigh the fact that you are still financially dependent on them in order to finish your schooling, --- and the more schooling you can complete (especially if you can get your college degree, let alone of course a high school diploma), the better chances for a bright and financially-safe future for you.... And if it's one thing that longhairs will gladly confirm, it's the fact that there is indeed job prejudice against guys who have long hair, --- so why not make sure you have every other competitive edge in your favor for your future?!!
I am NOT going to literally "tell" you what you "should" do; but, if you read my above comments carefully, I'm sure you can come to your own conclusions as to what is, "nearest best under the circumstances"...
Hope this has helped!
- Ken in San Francisco
Ken's response to the above-stated question is excellent. Indeed, it seems as though similarly excellent responses are posted to variations of the same question on a pretty regular basis. Would it be possible to archive some of these responses to the "my parents don't like long hair" inquiries, perhaps distilled down to the essence of the more commonly expressed points of view, and include them on the General Questions FAQ page?
Don't get me wrong. I very much appreciate the time and energy Ken and others devote to giving this sort of wonderful advice. I just think it might be nice if they didn't have to keep repeating themselves, and were simply able to refer people to the FAQ.
Please understand that I mean no offense to anyone. Sa Rouse, I wish you the very best of luck in sorting out this disagreement with your parents.
--Val
So far, we have limited the FAQs to behavior rules and technical advice for using the site. We've counted on individual users to write their general advice on their own web sites, and those pages are then listed in the MLHH "links" section. That is how we have always done it, but that alone does not dictate we will always do it that way, of course.
Bill
Considering the singular purpose of the board (a support forum for men wanting to grow long hair), repeats of the same types of questions are inevitable. I've seen the same questions posed hundreds of times over the last 10 years. And, after 10 years of frequenting this board, I've relegated myself to only replying to posts that I feel compelled to respond to.
writing answers to all of these questions of which you won't answer that pop-up (and always have) as long as the Hyperboard has been around by the new guys that have found us that you will no longer answer? By doing this, they would no longer be in your way.
Your help in this would be most appreciated by myself and it would be ever so kind of you to do so. I am in hopes that you will accept.
Hint: After thinking-out "all" questions with the answers to them, you could email what you have to me personally. From there I would present your findings to our crew. We would then have time to review your findings and perhaps even augment them for the better of all. When complete, all of these questions in the future that come-in from the new guys could be referred in a simple message to look at such and such a place in the "links" section for "Most asked questions."
We in the crew have our hands so full you wouldn't believe with a variety of tasks, and all is done as a labor of love so to speak which makes this great board tick as well as it does. Your help Nyghtfall would be a most welcome gift from a poster that has been with the board since it started and knows so well the "common questions" that are most always asked.
Many thanks in advance if you are willing to helping out the board for the betterment of all and making these questions that you won't reply to not get in your way any longer.
All the best-
Justin~
(President MLHH.)
It's natural for us "old timers" to leave helping the newcomers to those who have "being a newcomer" fresher in their minds. These men new to having long hair have more interest in helping newcomers and their memory of what it is like to get started is likely better. [grin] So let 'em have at it, I say!
There are topics we old timers do comment on, the ones you "feel compelled to respond to" as you put it. Topics that involve a long-time view (such as this one where you mention "10 years"), or topics where we might have special expertise come to mind. A society's elders can provide the glue that holds the society together over the long haul, and we are dropping the ball if we don't do that, because no one else can.
As for helping newcomers with the same questions over and over, they are not really the same questions because they are being asked by different people. I guess we could start blaming people for not digging through the archives and all of the FAQs, but that is asking for a lot of work from someone who has a simple question. We could even create the offense of "not born soon enough" for teens who did not check the board eight years ago for their answers! But all of that would not be very supportive....
Bill
Thanks, Val, --- that is very thoughtful of you to say what you said (and I totally agree that we often repeat ourselves here a LOT - lol)!!
What I might do is when I eventually get around to updating my Hair Page on my website, maybe I'll include some "repetatively asked questions" that occur on MLHH, and how I usually answer them. I can then ask Jason if he'd mind adding it to the MLHH Links Page.
I also feel that Electros' reply was BRILLIANT, --- I wish I had been able to obtain advise like that myself, back when I was a kid wanting to have long hair, but not allowed to do so by my father.
- Ken
I'm blushing now, Ken. Feel free to add what I posted to your hair page RAQ if you want to. I'm not likely to write a web page of my own for hair, although I do have a few pages on other subjects (that badly need updating).
Alun
I think that while the frequently asked question can be handle by having a FAQ answer section made available, the discussion that it sparks, when posted, is useful for bringing out a variety of different answers from those that might not have participated before. If the person seeking an answer just goes to the FAQ page, I think we all lose out.
Bruce
Perhaps a few of us brilliant orator-writers could keep a bunch of pre-written answers to the usual questions handy so that responding becomes a matter of cut-and-paste with some small customization.
Hi Antese,
I'm still living in the Dark Ages, because I have yet to know how to, "cut & paste"... I've been told it's not difficult; but for computer-idiots like me, just staring at this computer sometimes scares the hell outta me! It amazes me that I ever got asked to join the Moderating Team, since all the other guys know so much more about computers than I do... Maybe all they needed at the time was someone who at least knew how to read & write (lol)....
- Ken
Yes. I don't need to see your hair. My advice is the same for anyone still living with their parents:-
1 - Stall for time between trims to grow as much as possible inbetween times, any excuse why you can't go at that particular time is a good one;
2 - Never let parents or friends of your parents cut your hair;
3 - Don't go with anyone else to the hair salon, especially not with your parents;
4 - Always ask the hair stylist to take as little off as possible;
5 - Always ask for less hair removed than you want, because they will always cut off more than you ask;
6 - Never use the word 'trim', because hair stylists take it to mean cut your hair back until it is neat;
7 - You should never go to a barber, but should always go to a salon, as barbers are only interested in doing short cuts.
Could you make that "never go to a TRADITIONAL barber.." because there are a few of us longhair-friendly barbers out here. Thanks,
Hi Bruce,
Well we know you are longhair friendly and I would not call you a barber but a stylist as you know your trade very well.
Cheers,
John.B
No offence intended, but places that cut only mens' hair tend not to be long hair friendly. Of course, there will always be exceptions to any rule, but it's not always safe to hope for an exception.