new thread
I'm probably going to look stuipid here and show my ignorance, but I don't want anyone else to be fooled the way I was. For about seven months I have been growing my hair out and my mom was really supportive. I'm 14. My mom's stylist was trimming my hair and she was really cool. But about 3 months ago she left and my mom got a new stylist. She started saying that my hair was really limp and lank and stuff and she started saying to my mom that I should get a body wave. Then a few weeks back my mom came home and told me she had booked me in for a body wave for yesterday. I didn't know what a body wave was and my mom told me that it just added some body to hair and made it easier to style. But my sister made fun of me later and said that I was getting a perm. I asked my mom, but she said my sister was just lying and teasing me. I tried to find out about body waves on the web but most of the searches came up with either surfing or just saying it added body to the hair. But my sister still teased me. Well, yesterday I had the body wave and I just wanted to warn anyone else who doesn't know that my sister was right and it is the same as a perm. It took about 3 hours and I had my hair in these little tight rollers just the same as a perm and stuff put on my head and covered in bags and stuff. It smelled horrible and it was humiliating sitting among both women and other guys getting stared at. And although the strylist said it would only add body it has made my hair much curlier and more like bigger like it sticks out with more volume. She said it has to relax or something over the next two weeks. My mom thinks it looks better but I hate it and am dreading school tomorrow. Guys, don't do this and take my warning unless you really want hair like that.
Darren, you are not stupid and you are not showing ignorance--after all, a 14-year old is suposed to trust his mother. And that is what you did. There is such a thing as a "body wave" which does add body to the hair and makes limp hair easier to style. But it is, as your sister told you, a type of perm--given as you experienced. The difference is that a body perm uses NO tight little rods. Tight little rods, as you found out, give curls. Large (diameter) rods are used as for body waves because all they do is "bend" the hair, not curl it. Your hair should relax some but, I am sorry to say, not enough to get altogether rid of those curls, Darren. Don't know what I can tell you to make you feel better about the whole experience. Sorry you had to find out the hard way. The next stage you face is the "growing out"--the hair you have now remains curled while the hair growing out from your scalp comes out straight. So you end up with straight hair with curly ends. Then would be the time to have a body wave for all of it. Then you would have a growing-out of straight hair with a slight bend at the ends rather than curls. Looks and manages much better. But, when that time comes, I would advise you seek the help of another stylist--one sensitive to your needs and therefore one who will do what YOU want. "Good luck!" to you from now on and, let me add my warning to yours, "Look out!" to anyone about to find themselves in your shoes.
I just found this by accident, well not quite, I followed my brother's (he is Darren) history and was intrigued that he had visited this site.
I have to defend myself and my mom and say that what he has written is not totally true and is just one sided because he is mad at us so I want to put the record straight here and I'm not going to tell Darren but I want him to see it for himself tomorrow.
Mr Gallagher, Darren is able to trust my mom and she did what she thought was the best for Darren. She is a good mom. She has supported him when he wanted to grow his hair longer, and despite my dad's disaproval, although they are separated. But it is usually mom who takes most of the criticism from Dad and not Darren and she defends him - and he doesn't even know most of what is said.
The truth is that Darren's hair did look pretty bad. When Michelle, mom's first stylist that Darren mentioned was trimming his hair, it wasn't that long and didn't look too bad. But since Kelly has taken over Darren's hair continued to grow really fast through the summer and it did look bad now. Mom is okay with Darren growing it but she wants him to keep it styled so it looks good. She just took on Kelly's suggestion.
Furthermore, to set the record straight, despite what Darren implied (he doesn't know any better) Kelly did use the largest perm rods available. The only thing she told mom was that Darren's hair is very thick and straight and therefore she used a slightly stronger perm solution than she had first planned and left it on for slightly longer also so it would take, otherwise it would have dropped out really quickly and mom would have wasted her money. Kelly even blow dried it on a large round brush to try and ease out the curls a bit quicker for him. He is exagerating when he says that it is curly - it really is a deep wave at the back with a slight flip at the ends when it is blow dried - he will just have to dry it and style it more rather than let it air dry, otherwise it might frizz up a bit.
As for me. It isn't true that I was teazing him. I just tried to let him know what he was in for because he didn't seem to understand what was involved in the process. I told him about how a friend of mine had had a perm that he knew and said that he was going to have the same thing done as her. He wouldn't hear of it, but I tried to tell him a few times. I will say it bluntly in public so my little brother understands. He has to realize that if he wants long hair like mine (like he has apparently told mom) which is down to mid-back, then he is going to have to work at it, keep it well conditioned and well groomed and keep people like me, mom and Kelly on his side because there will come times when he is going to need our help and advice.
By the way, he looked very cute with the perm rods covering his head. I know because a friend and I sneaked a look while his perm was processing and he didn't know that until now. By the way Darren, that was one of your friend's sisters but I won't tell you which one unless you say sorry to me and mom.
Sam
Samantha, maybe it's just me, but I personally don't think that this message board is the place for a real life brother and sister to whine at each other.
Your brother is probably a 20 seconds away, don't you think that sorting this out in person would be best?
Jerry Springer. {grin}
In any case, dude, your hair will relax somewhat. I'm just curious what the color of the perm rods was. Were they grey, white, green, purple, or orange? To give a true body wave, the rods should never be smaller than purple, or there will truly be curl in the hair. The smaller the rods, the curlier the hair will be.
What Gallagher says is true. You need to let your hair grow a while, keeping it conditioned. After 4-6 months you can then get a true body wave. Depending just how thick your hair is, the stylist will need to use purple or orange rods; orange, being the largest rods will probably be best. But. It's difficult to tell *exactly* without seeing the hair.
Also, I wouldn't blow dry the hair too much. This can tend to friz the hair, especially directly after a perm. A body wave is a perm, by the way. The solution used should always be one that is gentle to the hair. I don't understand that bit about using a "stronger" solution. "Stronger" solutions, left on longer, just tend to friz.
Liquid
You are right in that I shouldn't bring a family dispute to this board. But I did it on impulse. I was mad at the way my bother had misrepresented my our mother and me and I wanted to set the record straight in public. Also he had gone to sleep by the time I posted it and I didn't say anything until the next morning.
I'm sorry for raising it here if that was wrong, but I stand by what I said.
Samantha
This tribunal will be prepared to render its decision when pictures of Darren both before and after the alleged curl/wave are posted. In the meantime, all parties are counseled to deal with each other with respect and goodwill.
Charlie
Darren, sorry to hear about your bad hair experience. I hope it wasn't too bad at school today.
I have to wonder if the new stylist was really considering what was best for Darren, rather than possibly for her business. When hair starts to look bad because it's in the awkward stage, I think the first thing to try is just ordinary styling without a perm. The stylist, or maybe Darren's mother or sister could have shown him how to use a brush and blow dryer to style the hair as it dries. That probably would have made his hair look much better and satisfied his mom without having to get perm. Once the hair gets past the awkward stage, it would be healthier and natural with no left over perm.
Perhaps part of the warning should be that guys should be prepared to spend more time styling their hair during the awkward stage if it has to look good then. Avoid perms and straightening unless the hair is really unmanageable, or you want a particular style that wouldn't be possible with your hair otherwise.
Doug
It may make you feel better to know your not the only guy who's regretted following his mom's hair advice. Here's a web page for another guy who had a problem with a perm:
http://studentweb.tulane.edu/~malbrit/evolution.html
Darren,
Hey bro, I definitely feel your pain. Oddly enough, I did the exact same thing when I was younger. I'm not sure how old I was, but I can tell you I was in 8th grade, I remember that real plain. I'm part Native American Indian, so my hair is thick, dark, and straight as an arrow. In a pony tail it looks like just that, a pony's tail. I'm not sure how long your hair is now, but if you're really that miserable with it (which I hope you're not), you can either take the road I took when in your shoes, which is cut it all off. Let me tell you, I don't recommend that one at all. I cut it into a flat-top. You wanna talk about losing your individuality (if that's what you're going for by growing your hair out)? Man, I felt like every other schmoe with a flat-top haircut. I just gelled the crap out of it, spiked it as much as possible and waited patiently for it to grow out. There's another option which will work depending on how long it actually is. I have a friend who has naturally curly hair and hates it with a passion. She went out and bought what's called a "Straightening Iron". Every night before she goes out, she uses that thing to straighten her hair out and it works really well. Since your hair is naturally straight (which I'm assuming it is or else you probably wouldn't have gotten the wave in the first place) it will eventually grow out straight and you won't have to use the iron any more. Whatever you decide to do, keep your spirits up and remember, the best thing about hair is you'll always grow more. I've cut mine and grown it back at least 3 times and I always go back to long hair.