new thread
i don't know what to do.......
i'm 20, been growing my hair for 3 years, i like to have long hair....but i don't have it like i want it to be...its fuzzy....and stuff. all my heroes (guitarists) have or had long hair, thats the biggest reason why i like to have long hair, and i think a real musician should have long hair, but my hair looks so dry and stuff.
I don't think girls like my hair, i never had compliments on my long hair, and i used to get much compliments on my short hair when i was still a short haired guy, some girls thought of me of one of the guys with the most beautiful hair on school, so maybe short hair is beter for me. on school when i was growing it girls (mostly guys but girls too) gave me shit about growing my hair), well i'm not at school anyway anymore.
i feel little depressed now, maybe i feel less depressed if i cut it as i always feel insecure about my hair in some situations and when i apraoch girls, lot of time i think, damn i hope my hair looks good now, and i go to the toitlet to check my hair and stuff.
but maybe i feel more depressed if i would cut, cause i would get the feeling i lost the battle, and i don't really have the hair i like most.
I think you should do everything you can to deal with the dryness of your hair before thinking about cutting it. Maybe by shampooing it less often or in a different way you can reduce the dryness. Maybe a leave-in conditioner would help, or some kind of conditioning treatment at home or in a salon. I don't know a lot about the possibilities, but I'm sure others here can make some specific suggestions. Don't give up yet!
It might help if you write and tell us what you do now for shampooing and conditiong your hair and products you use on it.
Doug
the overwhelming response you'll get here is going to be keep it long. what it really boils down to is that it's your hair. you need to do what's right for you. before taking on such a drastic measure like cutting, try some different things in your hair- like leave-in conditioners or styling gels to see if you can have success with its 'fuzziness'.
remember... cutting takes only minutes; growing back what you have will take another 3 years. if you cut your hair for a girl and you later find yourself wanting your hair long again are you willing to jeopardize a relationship over your hair? better to find a girl who will accept you whatever your hair length.
well i tried all that stuff, except for the leave in conditioner i guess, whats that? is it the same as a normal condinitioner (i use a normal condintioner), or is it something else.
gel dries up to soon, aftr one hour my hair is like without gel again
best thing i found yet is coconut oil, still not what i search for though. but still the best i found.
most conditioners are designed to stay on for a few minutes and then be rinsed out. Leave-in conditioners are made so that you don't have to rinse it out. You put the conditioner in your hair, but instead of rinsing you just let your hair air dry and then do whatever you normally do. Some conditioners are designed so that they can be used either way. The one that I use is made that way, and what seems to work best for me is to use it like regular conditioner after I shampoo, then rinse it out after about2-3 minutes, then about 5-10 minutes after I get out of the shower I put more on, all along the length of my hair and especially on the ends, and leave that in.
I don't know very much about gels, but I've never heard of one that's supposed to moisturize hair. In fact, it's possible that the gel could be making your hair drier - don't most gels contain alchohol?
I was going to suggest Monoi Oil (which the main ingredient I guess is
coconut oil) so maybe with coconut oil and less shampooing it might
help. At least it helped my frizzy hair.
Its your hair. If I want to reduce the fuzz try washing your hair with shampoo and conditioner one day and then the next several/couple/few days only wash with conditioner. good luck.
e
please don't do something so drastic as cutting your hair. Do you really want to lose three years worth of growth? If you want long hair - and you say you do - then cutting it off is not the answer.
There's plenty of things you can try to keep your hair from getting too dry. Try a different conditioner, maybe a leave in conditioner (Suave's Awapuhi conditioner has been working very well for me. It's got jojaba oil and stuff like that in it). You should also try finding very mild shampoos, and it's a good idea to dilute the shampoo a little. Also, if you wash your hair everyday then you might find that if you wash it slightly less often (like every other day) then your hair won't get so dry. You also might want to try avioding hair products that contain silicones - for some people they don't seem to cause any damage, but for others they can make hair very dry and brittle. Look at different products that are designed for dry/damaged/frizzy(etc) hair and find some to try that seem to be designed for what you need. Eventually you'll find one that works for you. (it doesn't necessarilly have to be exspensive either. That awapuhi conditioner only costs about half as much as the ones i'd been using before.)
as for girls not complimenting your hair, maybe they're just too shy to say anything. I love to see guys with long hair, but it's not always easy to just walk up to a guy and tell him how awesome his hair looks. And I know I'm not the only girl that likes longhaired men. I also wonder if maybe there are a lot of girls who like longhaired guys but for whatever reason don't admit it. Based on the behavior of some of the girls in my dorm, it sure seemed like it. They would SAY they only liked shorthaired guys, but I saw how they looked at my longhaired friends. Maybe some girls who like longhair don't want to say anything because the current fashion is for men to have short hair, and they think that it's "not normal" to like longhair since that's not what most guys have.
Anyway, it's YOUR hair, so don't worry too much about what the girls (or anyone else) think. If hair (however long or short) is the ONLY reason someone likes you, then they're probably not someone very good to be around. If you like longhair, and you want your own hair to be long, then don't cut it. You especially shouldn't cut it just to try to please other people. Spending your life trying to please everyone else will only make you unhappy.
You said that if you cut your hair you would feel like you had lost the battle. Don't give up!
Right bluesguy, you'll know I'm here to encourage you against cutting your hair. Although you, of course, have the absolute freedom to choose whatever you want to do with your hair, I'd just like to tell you to cut it only as a very last resort.
I'm sure that you've tried ways and means to improve your hair texture and quality, to no avail. But definitely, there must be somethings that you haven't tried, right? Now, here's some of my advice:
1. It could be the hair products that you're using. Have you heard of silicones? It is an agent that exist in most commercial shampoos that performs the function of closing up your hair cuticles after shampooing/conditioning, so as to create a supposedly smoother and sleeker look. But for some, it dries out the hair significantly and will result in a brittle, frizzy hair shaft in the long term. I'm not saying that this affects everyone but there is a high chance that your hair could be affected by it. Do a simple test by lightly scratching your scalp with your fingernails, do you see any whitish residues in your nails? If there is, then your scalp is experiencing an over-accumulation in silicones, and it is definitely affecting your hair's health. Try a clarifying shampoo to clean it out, then change your shampoo/conditioner to some "cone-less" ones. FYI, if the ingredient list include something like "dimethicone", "cyclomethicone", "andromethicone", all that ends in "cone", then the shampoo has silicones. Avoid it.
2. It could be your diet. Have you got sufficient intake of Vit B and protein? The former improves the quality of your hair by making it more ductile and strong, thus more shiny. The latter promotes growth and thus, could maximise your terminal length. It also contributes to the general well-being of hair. A very good source of food that contains both the above is egg yolk. Milk products and yoghurt are also wonderful hair food. Alternatively, you could supplement your diet with appropriate supplementary pills like Biotin, Fo-Ti with amino acids. That will help significantly.
3. Have occasional protein treatments done on your hair. While you can perform that yourself at home, it would be more advisible to approach a professional hairdresser (that you trust) for that service. As proper treatment requires appropriate techniques to be done under suitable ambient environments for maxmimum benefit, otherwise, it'll turn out to be counter-productive.
4. Hair relaxation is also a possible alternative but from my understanding of your hair quality, you should try this only as a 2nd last resort (next to hair-cutting). As the possible after effects of this process will be further damage to your hair, if you neglect proper treatment after relaxation. I personally haven't tried hair relaxation but some of the guys on this board have tried it and could testify on the damage it has done.
Hope this "novel" is helpful to you. We would definitely like to see one more longhair than one less in this world.
Happy growing :)
Jin
Bluesguy, if your hair is frizzy, make sure you aren't combing it too much. That can be the cause especially if you have curly hair. Some curlyhaired guys comb just once in the morning while their hair is wet. While it is wet strands will cling together, and they will tend to stay together all day. Once curly hair dries, combing will break the cohesive strands apart, making one's hair frizzy.
What to do if it gets messed up a bit midday? I smoooth my curly hair down with my hands, and maybe I'll pat a small amount of water on it. I might also comb it sparingly only on top of my head where small frizzes might stand up. What I will not do is comb my whole mane while it is dry. I'm asking for frizzies if I do!
Try combing your hair while it is wet, and then leave it alone all day except for minor neatening up. Let us know how that works out for you.
Follow the two week rule. How long have you felt this way?
Contrary to popular belief on this board, not everyone looks or feels good with long hair.
Try some different products for the frizzies, look at old pictures of you with short hair, ask a few close, trusted friends (one's who remember you with short hair) for their opinion, then make your own decision.
If you feel you look bad with long hair, and people thought you "had the best hair is school" when it was short, then cut if off, don't look back, and be happy.
Hi BG,
Music is so open-minded these days that guitar heroes are allowed to have short hair, or even be bald! :-)
If you were trying to look like someone who has a different type of hair than you do (e.g. yours is curly, his is straight) then it won't work no matter how hard you try. So you should only try to compare how your hair looks to other people with a similar type of hair, AND a similar facial structure or body type.
You also might like to search for conditioner, dryness, etc. on this site to make sure you are doing all you can to take good care of your hair.
Long hair does take a lot more time to keep looking nice than short hair. If you don't have any reason in particular to deal with your long hair you might as well cut a few inches off, wait a month and decide to regrow or go back to short hair.
Good luck!
Chris
bald guitarhero? do you mean Joe Satriani?
Yep, and Tony Levin on bass.
I think long hair is a great gift and if I look at all the bald spots around me I have no doubts. So I enjoy every day where my long hair is still alive and covers my scalp.
Currently I learned something about hair care from participating on long hair sites primarily dedicated to women, because they often have beautiful long hair (if they have long hair), and I listen what they say about hair care.
I figured out that a wide toothed hard rubber saw cut comb is the best comb for my hair, that I always have to be very gentle with my hair. I dilute shampoo with water, use conditioner without silicones and hair vitamines or hair skin and nails for some improvement of the hair growth coming from the insite. I use conditioner only for the hair falling down (not for the scalp), shampoo only for the scalp and rinse it out with cold water. And I never force combing throught the hair if their are knotes, if it is tangled or if it gives resistance.
I think that it is important for long haired people to have positive emotions for the own hair, otherwise why to have long hair? It is difficult for human beings to have always positive emotions, there are too much unsolved problems in society, but sometimes it should happen.
I don't know how to solve all your hair problems but I read some advices that seemed very reasonable for me. I can not imagine that your hair will look ugly, not at age of 20. And from all the girls you need only one woman who matches your personality.
wolfgang