new thread
A little while back ChrisG wrote an eloquent post about "The Stranger", his reflections on the journey growing out his hair. Expectations he had hoped for didn't come to pass, and left him wondering if this was the right journey for him at this point in time.
Chris and I may differ on some things philosophically, but I have much respect for Chris and realize that he is fighting some battles that the rest of us may never face. I have some comments along the same topic.
I too look in the mirror and see a stranger. It has been 30 years since I have had hair even covering my ears. I look in the mirror and see this old fat fart with gray streaks running through shoulder length hair and sometimes wonder: am I making a fool out of myself?
Just to put it into perspective, I am a businessman, and was a "suit" for many years. I deal regularly with bankers and financial people, and other business people, who almost uniformly conform to the "business look". I live in a conservative community near the Johnson Space Center, surrounded by professional people; engineers, chemists, physicists, and aerospace employees. I attend a conservative Lutheran Church. In my daily environment I sometimes feel I am an aberration. I can often go a couple of days without seeing another longhair.
In December of 2004 I had a heart attack. In the ensuing months I came to realize that my priorities had been all screwed up. There were some things that I wanted to do for a long time that I let others' opinions dictate to me what I should and shouldn't do.
I have been a repressed longhair now for 30 years. I made the decision, almost two years ago, that I was going to do as I wanted. Life was too short to do otherwise. Sad it took me almost 30 years to make that realization.
I went into this journey knowing that I could grow to a certain point, maintain, fulfill my need to be different, and go back to "normal". I had repressed my desire for hair for so long I didn't realize how much I would love having hair again.
I have also reviewed Luckskind's questions, and can answer positively to each. Hair to my waist; I don't think so. Hair to midback; good chance. Hair to armpits; better believe it. Does it make me happy? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know where this journey will take me; when I started all I wanted was shoulder length so I could tail it. The farther I progress the more progress I desire. Three years from now I may be sitting on it saying I will never let it grow to my knees. I'll jump that fence when the time comes.
What I am trying to say with this rambling post is that for me each day is a new experience that I have waited a long time to be a part of. I have also been going through some stressful times recently. My mane has been a positive that has given me a pleasure no matter what the day brings. It has not changed who I am, but it sure has freed the real me.
Strange thing is that my hair is much like Chris's hair. He is several months in front of me, and I look at his progress to measure where I will be and how my hair will look in the future. I consider Chris a friend and encourage him to take his time in making decisions that will have long lasting effects. The last time I did that it affected me for 30 years.
As I have said before, it is such a simple joy that the journey brings.
Big George
Hi George, nice post mate.
Although i am not as advanced on my journey as you, i feel total empathy with what you are saying.Jonny H
Thanks. Have no fear, you will get there. And it WILL be worth it!
I think it is fantastic that you are able to realize your dream of having long hair George and that you are no longer overly concerned with how you might appear to others. I have great respect for you too George, not just for having the courage to go against the force of the stream of conservative culture you are immersed in, but for your kindness and the friendship you have shown to everyone here on the board. There must be a lot more different about you than just the hair length in order for you to be so warm to all of us here. I know conservatives, my family is all conservative save myself, and I do not believe they would be able to tolerate the presence of most of us here just on our appearance alone, to say nothing of the various lifestyles we all lead. You are just confusing my stereotype George!
There are some days when I love to post here, those are the days when I am feeling relatively good. Other times weeks may pass when I won't feel like getting on the computer at all. Right now I am in a very big crises, there is a good chance that I will lose my job due to my serious illness. So far I have been unable to slow it down or reverse its effects despite many attempts and extreme risks.
Coming here provided an escape for me while I was attempting to work through these problems. Unfortunately I have not made any progress really. My future is in grave doubt right now, I do not know how I can survive financially or emotionally if I do lose my job. It was hope that I might find the answer to my health problem and be able to return to work that made this nightmare bearable. I greatly fear losing my job because I doubt I will ever have another chance at this type of normal life again otherwise. I am out of time for more experimenting and I am very scared right now...
Thanks, Chris; I really appreciate your kind words. Looks like I'm confusing stereotypes from both ends!
I can understand the effect that stress plays upon one's mind; you and I have touched upon that while chatting. Believe me, there is a way. You may just have to dig deep to find it.
Chris, you know I wish the best for you, and will continue to communicate with you on a regular basis!
Once again, thanks for all.
George
Excellent post, George. I really enjoyed reading it and feel elated that you're now experiencing being the longhair you always wanted to be. It takes some fortitude to be willing to stand out especially when it involves social groups that aren't used to seeing a longhaired man. Congrats, man!
Jason
Thanks, Jason. Yea, that social group thing can sometimes be a real bugger! But it is worth it!
What a story. It's great to hear that you're really living now. A heart attack can definitely put things in perspective
Keep it growin'
-Kamal
Yes, I gained quite a bit of "perspective". It makes you realize what is important and what doesn't matter much at all.
Thanks for your comments.
George
Lovely story George, the problem is for me that I feel great happiness for you and concern for Chris all at the same time.
~ Dave
Thanks Dave. I too am concerned for Chris. One of the things I do believe is that there is a way, no matter what, to make things work. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find it; sometimes it may involve choices that were not on the "A" list; but there is a way.
George
Hi George,
This is an excellent post, and I am so happy that you are so happy with your hair. I really respect your courage in growing it out in the face of so much opposition where you live.
The thing about long hair is that once you begin the long hair journey, you really do not want to stop growing it, and the goal length continually changes as the years pass. I have seen this happen time and time again. Jason's original goal was mid back, then this was changed to belt length, now I believe that he would like to try for classic length at least once. As for myself, when I first started grwoing mine, I had no intention of growing anywhere near the length I have now, and I have no intention of cutting anytime soon. I am almost 100% positive (correct me if I am wrong) that when you reach mid back sometime in the next year, you will want waist length or longer, and will change your goal again.
As for Chris, he is in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Keep it growing,
David
Thanks David; I appreciate your comments.
It's not so much opposition as it is lack of support, if that makes sense. You read about the ratios of longhairs being 1% to 2% of the population, with it being higher on the west coast. Now I know what areas offset the west coast!
I have planned to go to Dec 08 and re-evaluate at that point in time. Right now mid-back is my goal, but as you and I have said, it does change.
Likewise with Chris. Whatever we can do to help.
George
Hi George and what a great post as it truely is a success story for you in breaking out from the norm to become what everyone should have and that is happiness.At the beginning it almost sounded like you were regretting your hair with your statement about looking at yourself in the mirror but as I read on that obviuosly changed.It is too bad that it had to take having a heart attack to wake you up about making yourself happy for a change but you made the best out of what could have been a very bad outcome regarding that attack.I too feel very bad for Chris having the problems he is currently up against and I can't even imagine what he is going through since I never had a crisis of that magnitude.All I can do is keep him in my thoughts and hope things finally change for the better.I fid it interesting how each and eveyone of us here has different stories leading up to growing out ones hair.For me I'm glad I started it in my youth meaning early 20s and still can't believe I was able to keep longhair up to today and definately beyond.I have to admit I made sacrifices to keep my longhair where I had to turn down a good job offer just to name one thing but I felt caving in to cut it would just kill me.So George as the saying goes "better late than never" and I feel you did the right thing as life really is too short.............................Mark(Longhair forever!)
Thanks Mark for the comments. I still have moments of doubt, I think most of us do who are still fairly new to having hair again. And yes, I am happy.
And you are right. Each of us is an individual with a different reason and a different story to tell. Maybe by telling mine it will help someone else get "over the hump".
George
...should always be the deciding factor on exactly what length
a longhaired man should keep his hair.
For some terminal is the only choice that will make them happy but for
others, shoulder-length fits the bill.
It is wrong to urge or encourage everyone to go for the same goal because
everyone is different. Too many times we read here on this board: "don't cut it!" But that is very presumptuous.
If the longhaired man feels that his hair length is too long
and that it makes him feel uncomfortable or unhappy, then cutting it should not be discouraged by anyone.
Some guys have to grow their hair down to their belt or beyond to know that it is or isn't right for them. While other men
will realize this as soon as it reaches his shoulders.
Please, let us repsect each other's differences and choices.
Thanks Luckskind, I appreciate the honesty of your earlier post. It is a decision each of us has to make for ourselves. And I think I have made mine.
Thanks for the support!
George
Beautiful post George! Each of us come to long hair on a different path, with many different hills and valleys. But these paths all lead to the same point, a happier new us. That happier new us may be as different as the paths we took and may end up defferently, but aren't we happier for making the journey?
Bruce
Most definitely. Moreso than I would have thought.
Thanks!
Hey Big George,
It is ALWAYS a pleasure reading your thoughts, --- and in this particular post, you have expressed yourself so superbly!
I, too had a heart attack. It was in Sept. of '03. I had to have Angioplasy (spelling?) done and a stent put in. I don't talk about it much on this forum, because I normally have a preference for keeping it private; but, I may have mentioned it once or twice in the past on the board (can't remember for sure, though). And it is absolutely true that near-death experiences like that "wake us up" into realizing how precious life is, --- and cause us to re-evaluate how we spend our time, and what unfinished goals, etc., we need to get moving on...
Like you, for many, many years I had wished to grow my hair out. But, once I left my dad's house at age 18, timidity, --- and fear of what others around me would think --- prevented me from ever getting beyond "longISH" (until I finally had the guts to move forward in-time for a ponytail on my 40th birthday).
All of my life I have led a fairly "straight & narrow" path and pattern in my personal history (for example: to this day, I have never been drunk, nor have I ever been high on even something as mild as Marijuana). I am happy without resorting to taking any chemical substances, --- as long as I get to "cut up the rug" on a dance floor once in awhile (lol)!! Although I no longer attend the church of my youth or early adulthood (Christian Science), I nevertheless still live a pretty tame lifestyle (other than what some may consider to be not so, because of my being very openly gay now; but that's, "another story..." - lol)....
The point of my reply is this, though: there is a difference between choosing to follow or do something that your heart will no longer let you ignore (in spite of outward pressure from others around us to NOT "go down that road"), --- and choosing to follow or do something that is truly frivilous or foolish. To the vast majority in Western society, a man wishing to grow his hair out probably appears, "frivilous & foolish." I imagine this is especially true for those of us that are a bit older than being in our teens or 20s anymore! But, the fact remains that when an unmet burning desire is not fulfilled (and self-identity issues are definitely "BURNING" needs, more than really even just desires), it will eat away at us until we either: a.) cooperate, or; b) die!!
I have no clue whatsoever why I've always wanted long hair (from as far back as I can remember into my childhood), or why I've always found it way more instictively attractive or of interest to me than short hair... But, whatever the reason, even when I had my hair at its shortest, I always knew that on the INSIDE of me, I related to long hair instead!
Now that, "I know what I know", I feel at peace. I know I could "survive" if i HAD to go back to short hair (for whatever stupid reason that would be - lol).... But, I am *thrilled* to say that life just feels so much better, and that I feel so much more "in-tune" with Nature, knowing that I have finally made the longhair journey, --- and that I have every intention of, "sticking around!"
Thanks again, George, for the inspiring post!!!
- Ken
Ken, I really appreciate your comments. I'm thrilled that we have such a variety of people here on the MLHH, and within that variety are some that can directly relate to our own situations.
After my attack in '04 I really didn't detect a change in myself as much as I noticed a change in my priorities. Some things just weren't important anymore, others became so. It actually took me a while to adjust to it. I also kept it quiet for a while, not wanting to admit that I wasn't immortal after all. But I share it now to let people know from where I am coming as I blast through!
Thanks again. One day when I am out your way I really would like to sit down face to face (scary thought, isn't it!) and talk.
George