new thread
hello everyone,
It's been awhile since my last post. I have been dealing with a drug addiction (pain pills). I am now feeling better. I have never been addicted to a drug before and this was scary. I would like to thank all the people here at MLHH for all the support during my hair growth. I will be cutting my hair this week, not sure how short yet but I know I will no longer be a long hair no more. It's sad for me to post this. I feel like I need a big change right now. Again, thanks to all for the support. Maybe someday I will grow out my hair again. Good luck to you all and new long hairs. My last pic
p.s just say no to drugs, they'll fuck you up and your life.
Eric.
Eric;
Congratulations on your escape from the insidious world of addiction. I can understand the reason for the haircut as a change from all that surrounded those bad times.
Don't be a stranger. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Walter
I'm glad to hear that you are on the road to recovery Eric. Substance addition is a hard thing to conquer but you're doing it. I wish you future success in staying clean and don't be a stranger.
Bruce
Another one Bites the dust.
Hope you enjoy looking at that sheep in the mirror.
SDMF, you have just shown what a twat you really are. I hope your life is perfect in every way and that you never need help.
Fine, then this will also be my last post on this site, as you will ime sure be happy to know.
I find it ridiculous when somone thinks that because they just got through a bad period of their life they must change somthing trivial about themselves like the length of their hair.
"I just got through a drug addiction, ime gonna cut my hair to erase memories of this patch of time" - Its not gonna help you forget anything, and like many others gone before you..you will probably feel like crap a few weeks later when you realise you just made a big mistake that will take years to fix.
Reality Check here, Unless somone force fed you drugs, you got yourself into the addiction and somthing as trivial your hair was not responsable it was YOUR FAULT.
I am a firm believer of free speech, i speak my mind and how i feel, obviously this board does not like people to speak their mind Truthfully and instead put on their 2nd Face.
nothing gets solved that way and the issue remains.
Tact is a rare knack that takes careful thought and consideration. The "truth" and the "heart of an issue" can be many things, and various circumstances demand different approaches to this. Sympathy or pathos is not an avoidance of either.
...there's some frustration that the hair change occurs simultaneous with the decision to confront the drug issue which would reinforce in some minds the idea that longhairs abuse drugs. It might help to defer the change a while but I get the sense that the decision is set in stone.
A agree with you here, Lurk Ness. The easiest thing to change about one's physical self is hair. When I was going through some mid-life crisis issues in late '99 and early 2000, I impulsively decided on the first day of summer, Y2K, that I deperately needed a major change in my life, --- so, unfortunately, I picked on my hair (because it symbolized "the old me", --- and I wanted to find the new). The experience of going from waist-length to a typical men's short style over a period of 2 days (I first cut it to a "mullet"-type style; then decided to get rid of it ALL...), although emotionally devastating, taught me several important life-lessons (which is too long a story to post here - lol).
In many Native American Indegenous tribes (AKA, "American INdian"), the cutting of one's long hair usually only occurs after a major life-change has happened, --- like, usually after the loss of a loved one... a spouse, parent, or other similar significant person. For them, my understanding of this is that it is either a symbol of one's grief, or actually a RESULT of going through grief(?)... I am by no means any sort of expert on this topic, so I'm hoping that if there is anyone of Native American descent reading this that they feel free to step in and correct me if any misstatements I might be saying. But, in any case, my point in bringing this up is... there are MANY individuals, --- as well as well-established, entire Cultures --- that believe that the cutting of hair symbolizes letting go of past history, in order to start anew with a fresh beginning into a new one.
I also corresponded for awhile with a European longhair on the US's East Coast, who told me that when a close woman friend of his died of cancer, that he was so emotionally devastated that he cut off his long ponytail. Apparently that woman just LOVED his long hair, and regularly used to compliment him about it. So, when she died, it was as if his heart was broken, --- and I'm talking about a gay man here!
- Ken in San Francisco
In my post back to Eric and to several people here I have told about my similar experiences to Eric's with drug abuse of legal drugs. In my case it was antianxiety medication I had started to take WAY too much of and I would do anything to get more of it. Unless someone has been there as SDMF clearly has not, he cannot even presume to judge someone who has been in such a situation. Even more so someone like myself or Eric who has survived it!
Objectively someone may be right in saying there is no connection between hair length and what someone was doing or what was happening in their life (good or bad) at the same time, but the strong associations between what someone sees in the mirror every day that they are experiencing the most unpleasant parts of life is undeniably real and
pure logic alone will just not cut it in trying to talk someone out of such a change. It is an emotional remedy (changing appearance to put something behind one) not a logical one.
I made my decision to grow my hair out in the way I described above. I had been through a nightmarish experience of illness and when it abated I wanted a way to be "new". When I first came here I posted an explanation of this and people thought this change was a great idea. Now what I am wondering is if people who think like SDMF would have criticized me for growing my hair out because obviously I got myself into my mess so who was I to try to escape it by growing my hair out. To be logically consistent they would have to say this, but I wonder if the complaints only go one way, on the change from long back to short.
What do you guys think?
Absolutely, Chris, --- I couldn't agree more! I'll continue to reply to different points you make, below...
Makes sense to me, Chris!
I don't think you were genuinely trying to "escape" anything (in that, the word, "escape" usually means, "running away from"), --- to my sense of things, it sounds like you were trying to put a painful past memory and personal history of the illness BEHIND you. Those are 2 entirely different things! Fore example: during my married years ('81 - '89), the first winter when I had moved to NYC, I impulsively got a one-way ticket to Honolulu, Hawaii. I was trying to escape being married, and didn't have the guts to fully come out to my wife at the time that I felt I would be happier being a gay man. Eventually I realized that I couldn't run away from life and its problems; but had to eventually work things out head-on, facing things like an adult... That night I called her from Newark airport at 4AM (my plane was due to take off at 7AM), and sobbingly told her how I had wanted to go someplace where nobody knew me, and not tell anyone where I was, so I could start life "all over again"... Well, 2 & 1/2 years later, I finally left the marriage in a more acceptable manner, followed by coming out to family and friends about being gay.
The mental and emotional make up of individual human beings go in a thousand million different directions, --- so I doubt that one can say in absolute terms that complaints or changes from long back to short go only, "one way".... who's to say? We are all a bunch of walking, talking, human emotions; each of us is unique, --- and in some ways, each of us is a bit of an "odd-ball" compared the the person standing right next to us! I can't even begin to tell you how many times in my life I've looked at someone and said to myself, "Gee, I sure wish I had my act together and was 'normal' like THAT guy over there...", --- only to find out several weeks, months, or even years later how totally messed-up their life is (lol)!! I guess what I'm saying is this: we are all so different, that in truth, we really can't accurately compare ourselves to another human being, --- because we each have a different personal history, upbringing, philosphy, values, aspirations, likes/dislikes, experiences, perspective, etc., etc., etc... There are definitely certain things that all or most longhairs share in common; but, going deeper... we eventually learn that there are also MANY things that are extremely different about us, and that logically separate us from each other...
Thanks for starting this topic, Chris! I hope my $.02 was worth reading!
See ya 'round the ranch!
- Ken
Of course having long hair does not equal drug use and kicking the habit doesn't mean you have to cut your hair. But there was a more diplimatic way to say the same thing.
Bruce
That sums it all up very well, Bruce. I think everyone in this thread meant well, some were maybe not kid-glove tactful, but nothing I see justifies "I'll take my ball and go home." Whenever I see that response on this board I just shake my head, because the target age group for this board is older than people who say that. [grin] If someone is truly and repeatedly abusive, we have moderators for that, guys. They aren't apt to jump all over a regular though because at one moment he was a bit grumpy or mildly tact-deficient. The site is run by a committee of users, not by a detachment of baton-wielding riot police.
Be gentle on each other, guys.
Bill
It's not what you say but how you say it. So a few people snapped back at you over something you said that happens in life one must learn to deal with it.
If you choose to go away and never return that's your choice.
Happy trails
Kevin
I agree with you, Justin, that the above remarks made by Mr. SDMF are TOTALLY uncalled for....
My guess is that this guy is so shallow as to think eric's post is "sheepish", simply on the basis of eric's mention of wanting to cut his hair. I'm sorry, but it takes GREAT bravery to admit to having a drug problem, and to face it head-on as eric is so courageously doing...
You have my full support, eric, --- and whatever you do about your hair pales in comparison to regaining your health, and getting free from addiction!!!
And to Mr. SDMF: My opinion of YOU, "Bites the dust!"
- Ken
Hi Eric,
I'm sorry that you have developed this problem. I have nothing but admiration for you that you're facing it and I know you'll have the strength to beat it.
I urge you to at least follow the 2 week rule about your hair. Is it really about you having long(er) hair? Your challenge will still be there if you hack it all off. You could look at your hair continuing to grow as symbolic of you working your way into the light again. You've got some awesome hair dude, it's just so thick. IMO it would be a way of showing love to yourself to let it grow and reach its potential.
Jason
Hey Eric! Man, it sucks to hear that you´ve been struggling with this. But it´s great to hear that you´re on your way to end it!
It´s your choice if you wish to cut your hair. You should know that we will support you either way. Hang in there mate! :)
/Erik
Hi eric
I am very sorry to hear of this and know of the torment you must have been through. You have always been tops as a poster to this board and a great asset to the Long Hair Community.
Wishing you much better days and a life of much happiness from now on.
Just because you won't have long hair doesn't mean that you are banned by us. No way man. If you suddenly decide to pop-in at some point in the future and comment on someones update or whatever you are certainly MORE than welcome at any time. You have added so much to this Hyperboard in the past. We are ever so grateful to your contributions.
My best to you eric
Justin~
Hi Eric, great to hear you are getting control of your life again, but don't be a stranger, we are always here if you need us, hair or no hair.
Cheers dave
Hi Eric,
I am SO sorry to hear what you have gone through, but am glad you have things under control. Drug addiction is a horrible thing, and I lost a close family member a month ago due to an overdose. It was a dreadful, unexpected death, and I had NO idea of her addiction, until I got the news that she was gone.
Your hair looks fabulous now, and I am sorry that you have to cut it. But hopefully, you will stop in once in a while to say hi, and let us know how you are doing.
Take care,
David
Hey Eric! It's good to hear that you've managed to break free from the addiction, but a pity that you're planning to cut off your nice hair.
Well, either way i wish you the best, it's been great to have you on this board:)
Simon
I can relate to what you had experienced Eric as I had something similar happen to me several years ago in 2001. For me it was an antianxiety tranquilizer. I naively got hooked on it thinking that if a doctor prescribed it it must be safe, well I learned a lot from that! I congratulate you on recovering from that nightmare as only somebody else who has been through it can do. So while the part about leaving us is sad the fact that you are better more than makes up for that.
I also can relate to not always being happy with your hair, I am not always thrilled with it either. Sometimes the only reason to keep it seems to be the fear that I might be making a big mistake if I cut it. But if I am not keeping it for the current enjoyment than what's the point? I do hope you don't regret cutting it but you seem to have thought it through and you don't feel the hair is related so much to the problem you had with the medicine.
Good luck with everything Eric and if you do decide to grow out again you know where to find us. :)
Take care Eric and stay well!
you should not be sad to cut your hair at all, if its not working for you off it goes.
but then if you are sad, why would you cut it? seems you are just going through a bad patch at the moment. oh well. just another 2 years or so to regrow it eh. :)
Well thats like your opinion man...i mean you couldnt handle your shit, but some who do enjoy using can and do until they are well into old age. Just look at William S. Burroughs. Do dont demonise drugs and make stupid assumptions about every one who uses them just because you couldnt handle it.
are you seriously going to insult someone because they choose to better themselves? what a horrible thing to do. i have yet to meet a user who could 'handle it.' of course all users think they can 'handle it' because they're looking through thier drug haze, but reality says otherwise. your example is a bad one - perhaps you should take time out from your drugs and read some more about him.
Eric,
I'm so sorry to hear about your drug problem. It takes a lot of guts to face up to an addictive demon. While I think your long hair looks wonderful, you need to do whatever it takes to get a fresh start. Good luck, and at the very least long hair in the future won't be an untraveled mystery.
Mouse
I have read all the other replies. On the one hand, I really don't care if other people have short hair (although I confess that I hate cropped or shaved hair, because of the old violent skinheads that had that style, who are too hard to forget). On the other hand, there feels like an element of cutting the hair to get away from the long-haired druggies in your post. I'm not sure if it's really coming from you or from someone else in your life.
Understandably, some of the guys are offended by that implication because they have never been drug users. At least one other person has pointed out that even illegal drug use doesn't necessarily "f*ck up your life". Probably more would point out that "just say no" is simplistic, except that what they can post online is limited by avoiding admitting a "crime".
That said, I have no ill will towards you. I hope everything works out for you. I can see why your post got some people annoyed though. Just don't adopt a haircut that requires a razor instead of scissors, OK?