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Up until this week I had long hair down almost to the middle of my back. I am 47 and have alway wanted long hair for years but always ended up getting it cut in tha arkward stage but this time I was well on my way to butt length hair...maybe not attractive for a guy pushing 50 but it's what I wanted...and still want.
Well, least Monday I went to the guy who has been cutting my hair for a while...just trimming the ends. In all fairness he has been great in helping me to get to the length I had.
Well...this time he talked me into having an undercut done...said it will make my hair look neater when tied back. I have seen guys with undercuts and they do often look good.
Well...when I got home and looked at it I hated what he had done. It did not look even and seemed shaved higher on one side than the other.
Then I did something really stupid...I tried to fix it with my beard trimmer. I ended up so high up that I really looked awful with my hair tied back and now my hair did not seem to lay right when worn down.
My embarrasment as to what I had done caused me to seek another stylist who suggest I put layers in my hair and cut a couple of inches off...another big mistake.
Next day off to another stylist who suggest evening the hair back agin getting rid of the layers...yet another mistake.
Now my hair was shoulder level but with a wicked flip that I could not get rid of.
Yet to another stylist who when level with the bottom of the ears...no more flip but I hated how it looked...I then had this stylist "just cut it all off".
I am now set back to a buzzed side (to even up the disaster I did on my self trying to even my undercut) with some length on top. I will say that I do look younger and those who have since seen me like the short hair.
I miss my long hair and I want (and will) have it back. I post this to try to warn others not to get caught in the trap I did...this is how you wind up plus you are poorer too from having to pay all the stylists.
Don't get trims...don't get undercuts...don't get coloring...just let your hair grow as nature intended it to.
I now am carrying a small reminder in my wallet as to these warnings...determined that I will again have long hair and will not make the same mistakes I have done in the past.
I have cried over this and haite myself for being so stupid. I hate answering questions as to what happen to my hair. I just want it back.
i am soooo sorry all that happened to you! gosh!! how sad. that had to be a complete nightmare. it is certainly beneficial to have *one* stylist that you work with on a consistent basis that you trust. take heed guys!
although i must take issue with your advice to not get trims, undercuts, color etc. i disagree. trims should be minimal, true. no need to undo all the growth you manage to get. but trims every 4-5 months *are* beneficial. i just started getting my hair colored and it looks great! (i'm fighting that whole i-don't-wanna-be-middle-aged-so-lets-cover-up-the-gray phase) my stlist used great products that have not damaged my hair in any way. and i know *how* to take care of my hair with products.(i am not suggesting you do not.) and i used to have an undercut a few years ago that i loved. it *did* make my hair neater when pulled back and looked very nice. my stylist did *not* trim too much..just enough to neaten it up.
so perhaps the lesson here is find a stylist you can trust, who knows what they are doing.
again, i empathize with you in this situation. i had something similar to this happen to me many years ago.
I know what you are saying and I really did have a stylist I could usually trust...but even they make mistakes.
What ever works for someone is great...for me it did not now or in the past pay in the end to go to any stylist.
I say now I am going to be happy with the way nature is going to have my hair grow and not be altered by cutting or coloring. I really think that most men just let their hair grow and not bother with the whole stylist routine.
Most stylists also feel that men should have short hair...one who I went too before I got my cut as short as it is now tood me how she had just cut another longhaired guy's hair short and how great it looked and that I should do the same...at that time I said no...but she was the one who cut it so I had a wicked flip in the back...she said it was due to usually wearing a ponytail and it should go away in time...it looked awful but I thought let me go home and wash it and it will be fine...not true.
As I have heard here stylist make their living CUTTING hair and I really think almost anyone can get a liscense to do so. I did not go to "cheap" salons either...my cuts ran 30 -40 dollars each!!!
Also...it does not make me feel better when people tell me how good my hair looks now or how great and younger I look. I feel I have lost a part of me that I was proud of...I am nolonger proud.
I know I will get support I need from those on this board but it also hurts to see some posts of you guys and your long hair...a reminder of what I no longer have and have to wait a few years to restore.
It seems so long from now and my fear is that I will die before I do achive the length of hair I really want to have. I was so close too!
I am really stupid! stupid! and even more stupid!
Matt:
I appreciate you sharing the painful experience you had, and the wisdom you are coming to through it all. I am approaching the one year mark since my last hair cut. I actually began playing with the idea of long hair in October a year ago, and in early December got my last trim. Now, my hair is fairly past the awkward stage, shoulder length in the back with the sides almost to my shoulders. I have not been to a stylist in all this time.
Truly, I have found the best advice and guidance from this sight, from those guys who have long hair and have had it for some time. Most recently, for instance, Bill posted a piece about the fuzzy hair at the ears, and suggested trimming it with the sideburns from the top edge of the ear, down. I did it immediately, and it made all the difference in the world.
I was at a conference recently where several other men had long hair, longer than mine. The all simply let their hair grow--no special cuts or layers--just growth. They all looked great, and particularly like men with long hair. You have learned some invaluable lessons here, and you have shared them with us. Thank you. Your last comment about accepting your hair as nature gives it to you may be the best.
Robert
Dear Matt
This is such a shame what happened to you and I sympathise with you greatly and encourage you to grow it back without any further visit to a salon.
It is a good advise that you make by posting this as it might help the other in the gang that might be tented to do something like that.
In my case, I am so affraid of such a thing that I didn't get to a salon for the last 3 years - my hairs are 6 inches from the waist line now.
The only few trims that I had made were by my daughter and we are talking of 1 inches per years approximatly. I also have those little hairs in the base of the neck waxed out to keep this arean "clean" when I pony tail. It hurt a bit but it stay relatively clean for a month or two and those hairs now have the tendency to grow weaker and weaker.
Please don't get discourage and I wish you good luck in your regrowth.
Yours
Jean
Reminds me of when I got my mullet cut for McDonalds in High School. I went to a different barber though, cause mine was closed. I wanted like a short, conservative mullet, just off the collar, but somehow he got confused and shaved the back of my head("joining the army?" comment should've warned me). I got out before he could try to fix it.
I would've gave back the money I made at McDonalds to have fixed it.
Next I was going for an Ultimate Warrior circa '88-'89(not that perm!) style. I explained that to this woman, and she just kept whittling until I had something like a mullet with big earflaps or something. Apperantly she had her own ideas about what I needed.(I ended up growing the front out and never had the Warrior style).
Anyway, I had considered an undercut similar to Tommy on Power Rangers, but that's also because I have scalp pain, not just for style. I've never gotten an undercut.
Actually I'm contemplating a short haircut. More on that and scalp pain in a later post.
-Slack
Don't call yourself stupid. I know it feels better to punish yourself
I think you either panicked or lost control. Speaking as one who does
have an undercut that I think works good for me, if you ever (but I
don't think you will) go to a stylist again, YOU need to be in charge.
Watch every move they make and stop them if it looks like its going
bad. (fortunatly my stylist understands perfectly what I want) If
you do get a bad cut, the mistake a lot of people make is trying to
"fix" it. Once someone gets a bad cut I personally don't think one
should ever try to fix it. Just let it grow even though it may
look bad. It would kind of be like being in the awkward stage again, which you end up in anyway if all your hair gets cut off. Besides,
if you don't go to get it fixed it gives you time to calm down and
think about it. I think bad cuts will grow out faster than starting
over anytime. You have my sympathy and please try to hang in there
and grow it again.
Hello,
I have started regrowing my hair at age 46 from a "style" not covering the ears and now two years later the wet hair nearly reaches "bra strap length", the dry hair is one to two inches shorter.
Therefore I have some curls at the ends.
After one year it already looked shoulder length.
I never would cut any fashion style in it nor coloring it. If I will detect split ends I will cut them off individually.
wolfgang