new thread
Hey guys I am really sorry I have never responded before this to all of you wonderful people who commented on my last post about getting my hair cut back significantly back a few weeks ago. To anybody who missed this unique event it is at:
http://www.mlhh.org/archive/?210202
I cut my hair back for several reasons then, and I did a very poor job of explaining them before:
First I was having to spend way to much time on it for the level of interest I had at the time (and now for that matter). This lack of interest I suspect is related to the health problems I have been struggling with. I am still hopeful that the crazy guy who first posted here several years ago may re-emerge with hair passion as I get better and learn better how to control my health. So while I may not be hair centered now I still know what cool hair looks like and can certainly tell you all so ! If you trust a guy who cut his hair that is!
Second this lack of interest was making me feel uncomfortable with my hair, I hate to say it but it seemed like a liability to me rather than a banner of proud individuality (which I knew it should be). Depression can certainly change your feelings to vulnerability and self –criticism. Again I hope when this improves more as other things improve.
Third I have received very few compliments from anyone in the real world. Even my partner was glad I cut it back but only really said this when I asked her point blank about what she thought. She was always supportive of me growing it out but objectively she does have opinions lol. I doubt I ever would have let it grow as long as it did had I not been on this board. But I did let it grow inspired by others here but often without a real goal in mind. Looking back such lack of attention to what I was doing with my hair was not good, but entirely understandable to me given the extreme circumstances I was in. Following blindly without thinking is not a strategy or goal. LOL
All these reasons are rooted in the same reason of course and while I am waiting to see how my interest in hair goes I will let it grow in the meantime. The reason I waited so long to get back to all of you is that for one thing I was far from sure how I felt about my haircut for many many days after. I wanted to think more about what I felt before I posted replies to you all. The other reason was because as of last week I have begun working again after many many months of being unable to work due to my sever illness. That is what really prompted this post right now, I wanted to share the good news and I hope it lasts! After many trials and errors I got close enough to being able to control the candida enough to work, though I am far far from being like I want to feel optimally and farther still from a cure. But one step at a time!
Anyway onto much belated replies to your wonderfully supportive posts, once again I am sorry I seemed rude not replying back then. I hated to wait but I had to.
Nic - thanks nic I am still not sure yet what I like or want for myself. I felt a bit like a blind man picking out paint colors when I was going to get it cut. I literally couldn’t decide so I told my (longhair) stylist to do what he thought wise. This is what he came up with.
DavidN – thanks for always saying the nicest things, even if they aren’t true lol. Best quality hair I wish lol. Thanks for recognizing what I was trying to say (not so well I suppose ). Sorry for making people a bit sad regardless, twas a complicated issue
Validus – thanks for the kind words and you are right for now I am happier this way, no guarantees about the future, hopefully I will want to grow it out more, thanks again
Elektros – thanks for the encouragement, it is weird to think that from our point of view I butchered my hair but everyone else still sees lots of hair lol. As for goals I still don’t have one, which was the problem before!
Herb2992 – First thing I want to say is you have a great gift for writing and expressing yourself Herb, you really should post here way more often! You are a very smart guy and wise : ) Well now that you have read this far you know that depression was indeed the cause of the haircut, just like I described to you earlier. One thing that stood out for me you said:
“But you never really know what the future and its fortunes intend, it's really not that easy to handle such subjects, as I know from my own experience...sometimes your are convinced of things which just let run your blood cold another time (which I think is not the case fpr your subject)....”
You are so correct this did indeed happen to me regarding my illness, things I was sure of that caused it and other beliefs I held that prolonged it terribly. All because I was sure I had the answer, and as you said looking back those ideas make my blood run cold! Like I said earlier Herb you have great insight and a gift for writing so post more often I know I cannot be the only one to enjoy your posts! Take care Herb and don’t be a lurker LOL!
David L – thanks for the compliment, I hope you mean that when you could see yourself doing the same thing I did you only meant making all the hair the same length rather than cut off over 1 year’s worth of growth!!
Rob – you are right about having to try things to see what you think of them. I probably wont grow it back that long but I may grow it to somewhere between then and now
White Tail – thanks for your kind words Walter, I will probably refrain from any more cuts for the time being. I did what I needed to do, or thought I did anyway. Life sure is complicated – agh! LOL Hope things are going fine for you Walter, take care!
Quenyan – always a pleasure to hear from you my friend, thanks so much for the encouragement dude it certainly helps with my muddled mind lol. Vacillated, indeed I have! You guys are sure patient with me! BTW I like your clean shaven look too, tis awesome!
Axel – Sorry for the shock mate, I did what I had to at the moment. As many have said nothing is permanent so who knows what the future holds. Thanks for the compliment mate and take care
Big George – You are quite wise my friend, at the time my hair was making me unhappy so I did what I thought best. Caution is sensible for now I won’t do any more cutting! Thanks for the sensible advice and the kindness George. Hope all is well for you.
Justin – thanks for the compliments and the understanding. Going for happiness over all is good my problem was I couldn’t always tell what would bring me happiness. Talk about confusing! I did try though and that is something, it doesn’t even have to be permanent decision either. Thanks for the wisdom Justin we couldn’t have a better leader!
Chris H – Thanks so much for your enthusiastic compliments man, I really appreciate them. I admit I was very worried about making that cut after all the horror stories I heard about how people reacted immediately after such a cut, but fortunately it wasn’t too bad. Some uncertainty lingers yet but nothing traumatic lol. You are right that being happy is the most important thing. Take care man : )
Hairball – Mark you have been an inspiration and friend to me for a long time here on the board, and we have similar hair so very straight! I really put a lot of thought into my decision as to whether to cut or not before I did it. That still didn’t help much though because I knew I wasn’t able to make a clear decision because of how I felt and I knew that I couldn’t wait any longer so I did it. The good thing is that I didn’t have any post cut trauma like some people have had. If it turns out I do get back my passion for longhair then I will start again. It won’t have been a mistake, we’ll see if I still feel that way then LOL. Either way I am not going anywhere I will continue to post but who knows if I have now lost all my street cred with this cut. Nobody may pay any attention to me now!
Kevin C – thanks for the kind encouragement, for me it was the best decision at the time and for right now. We’ll see about later
Jonalbear – thanks so much John it was a somewhat more complex choice than just looking for a change, but I do hope to take your advice about the longer sometime!
James Raymond – Thanks for the kind words and understanding James, I am sure it might be hard to figure out and relate to someone who cuts their hair when you are so passionate about growing it. I know because I felt the same way when I used to hear stories of people cutting years back. I would think why lose such awesome hair, well I understand it now. I guess as you said it is one of life’s experiences to have tried growing out. Thanks again James : )
Mouse – Thank you so much Mouse for your kindness and wisdom, although I don’t know how conservative I was lol, I cut over a year’s worth off at once. But yes I coul have done worse!
Nuttidave – you always seem to cut straight to the heart of things Dave, you should have been a psychologist! You certainly read me right just from a picture, then again you are an artist so you are very visually attuned. At the time I really was considering more cutting but for now I think it best to do nothing. Thanks for always being wisedave too!
Max L – thanks so much for your compliments. At first I didn’t think I looked fine at all I felt like I was neither longhaired nor “typical”, a real hopeless case and decided to just ignore my hair image wise for now.
Just Carol – You are certainly right about my look (see nuttidave’s post who noticed it too) . I hope you are wrong about me never being happy with my hair, but from past experience you are most likely right. Thank you for your compliments on my long haired self. I will try to be careful in future decisions about my hair, this whole thing was needlessly complicated by being all tangled up with my health and mood issues. I wouldn’t have wished this whole damn nightmare on anyone. Thanks for being there and always listening and supporting me and everyone here, this place has been brighter with you around! : )
Aussie Guy – thanks for the kind words, I will certainly be careful with what I decide to do. This was a compromise cut to be sure. Hope your journey is going smoothly as well
Wintersun – thanks for the compliments man I will try not to cut any more , I am glad people liked this length at first I sure didn’t. I am always more critical of myself than others are though!
This is my original post with all your nice replies
No thank you!
It's nice to hear some positive news as well.
Cheers,
John.B
Hey Chris! I saw that post about the cutback some time ago, but i just didn't had the time to reply at the time, anyway, it turned out great, and suits you!:D
Simon
sorry i did not reply earlier as i have been a tad busy with real life as of late, but i think it does fit you well, just as some men look better bald (my best friend is an example of it) some guys are better fitted for nicely lengthed hair rather then uber flowing locks. its all depends on the person and what makes them feel good which is the most important of all. I think your new haircut suits you very well, and it looks very nice with the even ends and is just long enough for individuality.
Wow Chris ! THAT was some post ! I am so very happy about the good news of getting out of the house and back to work....and hair-be-damned ! You need to do what is right for you, especially when you are climbing out of a long term funk. Over the years that I have been on this forum, I have come to realize that this community is sharing growth of considerably more than hair. We have seen several members go through major inner growth.
You have come a long way......Proud of You !!
Take Care, Keep Well and Keep in Touch
Walter
Hi Chris and thanks for posting your reply as it really wasn't necessary since I know you've been through a lot over the past few months and had a lot on your mind. It is great that you made the effort and I'm glad to hear things are starting to look up for you as you are back at work and starting to lead a more normal life. Also thanks for updating us on the situation about how your hair has been making you feel.Regardless of what you ultimately decide to do whether long or short I will always value you as a friend:) At least you are giving it an honest shot which is all one can ask.Anyway I hope your Christmas will be a fulfilling one and that the New Year brings you much needed happiness:)Take care my friend and write anytime if you like.Mark
Congratulations, Chris! Getting back to work is a major milestone after everything you've been through. I hope the future continues to look brighter.
Mouse
Hi Chris, I didn't get to reply to that original post as I was away, but I do think that length suits you just fine. All the reasons you write about are worthy and make a lot a sense. A lot of guys in your situation would have just chucked it all in and gone for a buzzcut. I think it took some courage and thought not take the easy road out. Congratulations on getting back to work and here's hoping for continued improving health.
Bruce
Hi Chris
This thoughtful and honest reply to us all really cheered me up! I am extremely happy for you right now! It is great to know that you've got things in order and that you are finally back at work. That's awesome man! You found a way to temporarily control the illness and you are now able to do the job you love. That is the greatest news I've heard this whole week. Your hair? Don't even stress over it now. You've got more important things to worry about now. Just do what you got to do and keep happy. Well, Chris, thanks for sharing such wonderful news with us today. I'm sure you made a lot of folks happy. Take it easy, Chris and congrats on getting the job. Give it your best and never give up. Keep on keeping on!
Hey Chris, YOU are the designer of YOUR hair. You make of it what you will. You don't need to explain. I know, we all look for opinions, but do you like how you look?
--
Splat
Hi Chris,
First of all, thank you for taking the time to explain things so well, all of us here on the hyperboard really appreciate your thoughts and feelings about this.
Also, I am delighted that you are working again, and that you are indeed finding a way to keep your Candida under control, and I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers that things will only continue to get better for you from now on.
I meant every word I said about your hair in my earlier reply. Your hair is thick and straight, which is the easiest type to grow long, and you are probably blessed with an extremely long terminal length. (after your trim, it looked even thicker, due to the fact that your hair was all of one length.) Your hair is the type I wish I had, although one must be content with what they are born with. Hopefully, you will become enthusiastic about growing your hair again.
Take care,
David
Hi Chris,
Glad to hear things are looking up a bit and hopefully that trend will continue.
Have a happy holiday
Kevin
Hey Chris, it's great that you are back to work; I know that was a major hurdle you had to overcome to move forward with your life.
I'm glad your feeling better. It doesn't change in the least what I originally said though. You have to please the guy in the mirror first. That is most important.
I think this length looks good; I hope in the not to distant future I will have enough length to trim back to here and have all one length and blunt ends.
Glad to hear that things are looking up for you.
George
Chris Good luck with your job and your continuing recovery from illness. Good luck in all you do!
peace, jonalbear
Thanks for letting us in the great news Chris. Congratulations on reassembling your lifes' jigsaw, getting back to work and 'living' again. Best wishes to you and may the new year bring continued positiveness, you're valued greatly here.
~ Dave
Congratulations on your recovery from your illness, the most difficult part seems to be passed! Also good to hear that you finally are able to work again. These are really good news, way better and more important than anything hair related.
Not too long and you will have passed it completely. Now you can look forward again. :)
Thanks for your kind words on my comment, I didn't expect that. Also thanks for the long explanation for your trim, I think it all makes very much sense, none of us might have reacted differently if he/she would have been in your situation. Indeed you reacted very wisely by just doing a trim instead of cutting it all off. For me it seems like something that causually had to happen according to all the circumstances. It's also great to hear that you seem to have found your personal hair-length which is, like you said, between both lengths. To me this also shows again, that things must have turned out very well, at least compared to your situation then.
Unfortunately I have to say that I won't be able to do much more posts. Although I visit the MLHH every day, I just don't find the time to post more often (for me as a German it always takes not too short time to make posts). Another problem is that I seriously have to reduce my internet-consumption which is also the reason why I don't join the German long hair community. I start becoming lonely and I want to improve my so called real life. Well, I wanted to contact someone from my class via e-mail and now I've been waiting for a reply since Tuesday. I think that was one of those things which let my blood run cold afterwards. But I just didn't know better then (At school I fail in contacting her every day, I'm just way too shy, I even fail when I have almost perfect chances). I think I won't have success until 2008. But she might not be interested in me anyway. You see, I also have certain problems (there are also alot of others, including marks and my future, but this one bothers me most at the moment; all these problems are connected with each other), but of course I know they are uncompareable to yours. Maybe I need another 4 to 5 years to get the guts to finally approach such things seriously.
The (My) problem is that the internet maybe helps for a short time and according to gain information on any topic it's a really great thing, but it doesn't make one happy for a longer time, at least not me. Anyway I'm used to just stay with my habits, I'm too lazy/affraid to change anything ragarding such subjects. Sorry for OT, but this time I had to.
Thanks again for your reply, I'm really impressd!
Good luck and best wishes,
Herb2992
P.S.: Merry Christmas :)
Thanks so much Herb, I appreciate all your comments. I was glad to see you post here when you can. I can sympathize with not having a lot of time and not wanting to spend as much time on the internet. It does take a lot of time if you let it, and if it bothers you that you spend too much time then cutting back on your time is the right thing to do. Just like me cutting back my hair was the right (but not easy) choice for me.
I can also sympathize with needing to get your social life more the way you want it. I have had my life so severely curtailed for the longest time and I need to get back to something approaching normal too. I think it was great that you contacted your class mate, even if it was by email. That took a lot of courage too especially if you are shy, I know this because I am the same way Herb, very shy too! So congratulations for trying, even if you don't hear back. If you don't hear back you can always ask her in person.
I really do understand where you are coming from, being shy and getting depressed and such are all connected. I have been in similar situations myself. Herb I know you don't want to spend too much time online but if you want to talk about anything just email me either from clicking on my name on this post or from my entry in the directory of users here. Sometimes it is good to have somebody to talk to who can relate and it sounds like we have had similar experiences.
I do wish you the best success this coming year and Merry Christmas to you!
Frohe Weihnachten! Hope thats right I don't know German despite having taken a year of it many many years ago when I was in university LOL
Take care Herb
Well, Chris, I'm glad to hear things are going better for you. Sorry I missed your previous post but I haven't been around much (and by the way, thanks for your nice reply to my recent post).
For what it's worth, I think your hair still looks great after the cut--thick and shiny. But you have to do what you have to do, and I applaud you for having the courage to do it!
I, for one, would be very happy to be totally wrong, in this case. And your feelings about your hair may very well change in the future. You just may settle on the length that works best for you, long enough to be considered a true longhair, but short enough to be manageable. There is a middle ground there, which you'll find at some point.
I'm glad to hear that you are experiencing a modicum of success with the Candida, and you are in my thoughts and prayers for your continued improved health. And I'm so happy to hear that you have returned to work. I know you really did not want to go the disabilty route, so it's good to know that you are able to keep working at your job. I SO hope that things continue to look up for you. This is good news indeed, thank you for sharing it with us!
Hugs,
Carol