new thread
Okay. so a Longhair dies. (This could be you or a friend or a relative).
This person has:
1. been a longhaired man for a long time--maybe years.
2. his family/friends are all aware that the man loved having long hair, was proud of it
and that he never ever wanted to cut it.
BUT the people in charge of the funeral arrangements have made the decision that
the longhaired man would look better in his open casket with a 'nice' haircut.
Questions:
1. Do you think they should allow the longhaired man to be buried WITH his long hair?
2. if you learned that they were going to cut off his beautiful hair would you say something--anything--in defense of letting him keep his long hair?
3. do you believe that long hair is an important enough matter to mention it in a will? Perhaps a simple statement like: "In
the event of my death, my hair is not to be cut; I wish to be buried with long hair."
Would you like to add any additional comments concerning this matter?
I'd say allow them to keep it because the induvidual that died should have the desicion weather or not to cut the induvidual's hair for burial.
Best wishes,
Josh
I'm not a lawyer nor do I play one on Tv but i'd
point out several things.
First this a good example of why you should pre-arranage
the funeral if you can. I had a relative who did that
for her funeral so that she would not have bag pipes at
the funeral.
That having been said though I don't think you can
mandate something like hair length. You can
suggest it in wills, with your lawyer, etc. but
if you're dead and some relative decides you need
a proper hair cut there isn't much that can
be done to stop them short of armed guards
standing by the casket. Yeah you can make it
clear to the funeral diretor and members
of your family but then come the hour before
the wake when the family is alone for with the
body they ultimately can take matters into their
own hands and cut the hair themselves. Maybe the
only way to stop it is if you have millions
of dollars in your estate and a strong lawyer to
back up your wishes. Even then there is no guarantee
it would stand up on court.
Considering how ugly/uncomforatable/difficult the
situation could get maybe the best solution is to
avoid the whole mess by having the body cremated,
having a closed casket, or mabye just having the
body buried and have a rememberance service
after the fact.
I can't begin to tell you how many times
i've been to funerals where the deceased
would never be caught dead wearing a suit are in
a suit in that casket.
The suggestion about pre-arranging your funeral sounds spot-on. Just as a practical matter, funeral instructions should be separate from legal documents such as a will, because wills are seldom disclosed until some time after the funeral.
Gotta admit I was LOL to read about the lady who pre-arranged her funeral to head off any bagpipe music! Can I hear an Amen for that? :-)
(sorry to any bagpiping friends out there, heh)
I'm a little confused. The people in charge of the arrangements would be the family. A funeral director might make suggestions, but the family has the final say. I *believe* that wills are usually read after the funeral, so it would be too late.
Maybe it's just that the local funeral home knows my family and the church my grandparents attended, but they didn't do any makeup on my grandmother, who never even wore lipstick while living.
If any of you are concerned for your own selves, make pre-need arrangements with the local funeral home. This is especially true if someone in your family might have values and views that differ from your own.
Maybe if he suspected that a family member would be so mean as to want the last word in the hair argument he should have told them he wanted to be cremated?
"In
And in the event that your wishes are not carried out, put in your will that anyone responsible for not carrying out your wishes be eliminated as beneficiary of any assets that are remaining after your death.
Absolutely, if that is what he wants.
I probably would, if he was a friend of mine, to comply
with his wishes.
Again, I would say yes. I feel his wishes should
be honoured.
I realize that the guy will not be needing his hair after
he dies, but his wish should be honoured still. For deceased
longhairs that want cremation they could certainly request
that their hair be saved by a relative forever too. In this
case cutting would be necessary to save his hair from the
flames. If there is a public viewing prior to cremation,
his hair could be left intact for the viewing.
Scott
Actually, I think it depends. I know of a family friend who always had long hair and proud of it. The mother wanted it cut so she could keep it and share locks of it to the brothers and sister in memory of her son. They felt it was the thing that would make them feel closest to him after his death in a car accident.
Sorry for sounding morbid here but, when your dead it dosen't matter whats done with your body, you will never know about it. :<
Whilst I believe that death is final, for some reason I also believe that we should respect the dead. To me, failing to respect the wishes of the deceased is the ultimate in taking unfair advantage of someone who cannot fight back. They will not know, but abuse of the deceased is a coward's act.
Thank you for raising the query over this dilemma, Luckskind; should the depart'd be "permitted" to keep his longer-hair'd-than-most tresses, or, duzz his family have the final say-so in the posthumous condition of his last repose?
Unless he stipulated himself that his hair be shorn, let's say will'd to a concern that benefits individuals w/ alopecia or even the loss of their hair due to chemo-therapy for the remission of cancer (ie. Locks Of Love) , they've no right to alter his appearance.
This reminds me of my late friend Paul Stranix's treatment. He wuzz known far and wide simply as Paul "X" in the Str8-Edger community. A long-time D.I.Y. advocate, follower of Rand, Bakunin, Goldman, and others who espoused the true spirit of individual sovereignty, AAAND a die-hard Pagan besides, although short-hair'd, his hair wuzz posthumously dyed a uniform brunette from his last dyed-leopard-fur coloration, and he was given a Dutch Reform funeral, two last sentiment he'd've been resolutely against, had he been given the respect of a final say-so.
Best of everything to everyone in aught eight and beyond,
Quenyan
To me, the main issue here is respect for the man's life. If people respect him, they will understand that his hair is not to be touched. If those in charge intend to cut his hair, I would DEFINITELY speak up, once, knowing that since they already are not showing respect for anything except how they feel about his hair, it will likely not do any good. If it does, great. If it doesn't, then I will at least have given them a chance to think about what they are doing. They cannot later claim ignorance.
Before all this, though, the man should have made it clear to whomever he was leaving his estate and affairs to that his hair was not to be touched. He lives in this culture? He knows his family and friends? He knows this is likely to be an issue. Funeral plans left in place can be just as binding as a will in many states.
I'm curious. Is this hypothetical, or a real situation?
Bob
The legal reality is that one's next of kin, not the funeral director, gets to make this decision. You can put it in your will, but a living human has to come forward to enforce such a provision, and the only ones in a position to do that will be one's next of kin. This is the general case for all "disposition of remains" decisions, including where you will be buried, whether you'll be cremated, how your ashes will be disposed of, etc. I use "next of kin" loosely there, more precisely it is your nearest relatives as determined by state law if you have no will, and whoever you designate, if you do.
So the moral to this story is to put it in your will, and make sure you name someone as executor who will enforce your wishes after you are gone.
Bill
That's an interesting issue. I would guess if it was that important to the individual they would make it known before death what they wanted the arrangements to be.
If the members of the family felt strongly enough, and knew the person well enough then I imagine they would keep it.
As far as I can control it, i.e., if I don't go bald, I will die with my hair as I intend to freeze myself in somewhere once I know I'm almost at the end of my "useful life". I do not want to end up in a position of dependency.
Got a few more years yet though I think!
Merry Christmas
RM
I would make sure they know to bury me with my hair.
I would say leave clear instructions in your last will and testament or someone that is going to be organising that. We should depart this word and leave people thinking how we were when alive.
Cheers,
John.B
As the people in charge of the arrangements are his family
I wouldn't say anything if it was their descision.
In death I would rather think of the person as he was rathe
than how he looks for the funeral.
Do I think he should be burried with his locks? of course I do
but is it worth taking a stand I don't know but I would rather
mourn the loss than fight a battle.
Kevin
Closed casket, cremation. all is good. Actually he ain't at home no more anyhow. Do you worry what the new toons are doin to your old house when ya move?
Friends,
Everyone has a will, but most people's wills are written by the state legislature.
That is why we need individual wills OR Trust Documents. We need health care and general powers of attorney to carry out our directives if we are unable to do so.
If one does not want one's hair cut after death, this should be made specific in these documents, with the imperative that anyone who would not follow these directives should be 1. removed from authority with a back up specified, and 2. any benefit directed to them be cancelled if they are not in complicance with your directive.
It would also be advisable to specify that one's hair be washed and styled according to our custom.
Caledonian.
Great replies.
Some family members are not being intentionally mean or uncaring when they
have the long hair cut off. It's just that for whatever reasons they think it is
the 'right' thing to do.
It all boils down to making sure all your wishes are clearly spelled out in a will.
It might also be a good idea to have a disscussion with the family or the person in charge of making the arrangements.