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Howdy fellow longhairs...
In the last few weeks I showed some interest in 2 attractive ladies who I have liked for quite a while.... however they have not gotten back to me... and I know I shouldn't do this but I think my hair has come into it. And I'm abit down neither of them have called me :(
I am doing a survey on yahoo.com for the ladies..
I have used these following pictures for the ladies to decide whether I look more attractive with short hair or long hair. I have also tried to get the best pictures of me with long hair and shorthair... to make it an unbiased contest. There is no point in getting a great short hair pic against a bad long hair picture.
Well if any ladies want to comment on my pictures feel free.
Guys feel free to put forth your opinion too.... I am just frustrated being single... as much as I love long hair and enjoyed all the pictures and effort you guys put into your hair (especially Absalom) I don't really want to be single forever and I know many longhairs on here have partners.
But it seems they were your partners before you decided to grow your hair out... I am not into heavy metal music... just thought I'd grow longhair for individuality and spiritual reasons but I have a heightened respect for rockers and heavy metal enthusiasts alike since coming on here.
I will post the survey results here too..
Peace
p.s. Urban Cowboy if you see this msg write to it if u get a chance as I am a keen follower of your messages!
"...I don't really want to be single forever..."
If you change who you are in appearance, in actions, in interests and in life goals; then you will never find your true soul-mate. Be who YOU are and the person who loves you for that will come along.
.....of course, I followed my own advise and am now an old man, sitting on the edge of the desert with a bunch of cats ! HA!!
Seriously, follow your dream, someone will want to share it.
Walter White Tail
"Be who YOU are and the person who loves you for that will come along."
That summarizes in one sentence what I wrote on the long post above :)
Great advice Walter!
Thanks White Tail...
It was foolish of me to think by cutting my hair the girl I was seeking would suddenly show interest in me. I shall chase my dream right to the very end of the earth.
and sitting at the edge of the desert with cats sounds peaceful. I bet the stars shine bright out there!
Peace
Ryan S
"...Thanks White Tail
...and sitting at the edge of the desert with cats sounds peaceful. I bet the stars shine bright out there!..."
Ryan
I did not take the attached photo, but it was taken quite near where I live...and yes the stars are really this clear on most nights....
WWT
I was born and raised in Las Vegas (still live here) but I've never really seen much of the rest of Nevada, it seems quite peaceful elsewhere compared to where I live.
LOL, sounds like HEAVEN, Walter, --- I have 4 cats myself (although I "inherited" them when I asked my partner to move in with me - lol)!!
- Ken
Ryan,
First, I think you look better with long-hair, I like the first picture, much better than the others. I wish I could have hair like your's mine is thick and hard to comb, yours looks healthy and well groomed. But at the end, it's your call.
Second, and most important, It is widely studied that what attract mosts on people is their personality, it is true that at the first time a lady meets you she will check your image, she might like it or not, but what settles the "feeling" is the personality, you might look like Brad Pit but if you are goofy, dumb and lacking humor you'll get thousands of girls, but no one will stay longer than a couple of weeks.
Take a look at movies and tv series, check the attitude of the guy in Boston Legal, he is not a great deal, but his winning attitude makes him very attractive. Al Pacino in recent movies, he is small, old, big bags under the eyes, but is his attitude that makes him a great deal. I can find hundreds of examples. If you are confident, have a winning attitude, inject some mysterious looks, good sense of humor and clever I'm 100% sure you'll get the girl YOU want to get, not the one that thought you are hot just because you had a good haircut.
If you had previously relations check that up, you felt better with the hot looking girl insecure of herself, or the one not so hot but with a personality that drove you crazy. Once again, take a movie example, Cameron Diaz at Charlie's Angel, (good enough to drive someone nuts), and the same Cameron Diaz on Any Given Sunday, perhaps not so hot, but the same girl. What changes on movies are the role they play, the attitude they get, same goes in life. Winning-attitude means winning most of the time.
Hope that helps, I'll be online for a while, so we can discuss most of this issues if you want to.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be single but desperation can be picked up and be as much of a turn off as an unattractively short hairstyle to the woman who would otherwise be an ideal match to you long term. The willingness to sacrifice self for the sake of a relationship is easily picked up on by some and they will not stop at a hairstyle. Food for thought.
G'day Lurkness,
Good points... check out my other messages and my survey results.
Ryan S
speaking as a girl, the one sentence that stood out to me was this:
"I am just frustrated being single."
if you cannot be happy on your own, alone, with just you - then you'll never have a fulfulling relationship. that 'frustrated being single' will show itself in the way you carry yourself, present yourself, and speak to others. time to shift the focus to something else - like being happy with who you are. confidence is key.
my suggestion would be to set some time aside and spend it with yourself. after you've found peace with who you are, venture into the dating world again. but venture with the goal of meeting people, not with the goal of getting a girlfriend.
peace,
nic
Thanks for this Nic
I figured if I had my hair cut it would be a whole new image for me which might of sparked a new level of interest from a girl I had interest in. I realise now this is a foolish thought and I've always wanted a partner for who I am, not what I am, what I look like or any other superficial trait.
I shall discover my inner peace! and radiate it to the world.
Ryan S
There are three stages to a relationship. The first is "first impressions", the second is "getting serious", and the third is "staying together for life". "Being cute" is related primarily to the first. Sure, some potential dates will be turned off by a certain look, but if you date lots of people, you'll get past those who would discount you due to your hair length. What matters for the final two stages is what is underneath your scalp, not what grows out of it.
I've seen it written more than once that what women seek most, when the possibility of a relationship becomes serious, is whether a man is seen as a good provider, and as a loving companion and good father to her children. When it comes to a man's long hair, the main obstacle to overcome is a notion that you might not be readily employable, so you should have a career plan that will make that seem unlikely.
And finally, I'll add that, as one in a relationship for 31 years, the most important factor to seeing your relationship LAST, is that you LIKE EACH OTHER. You will be spending a lot of time with your mate, and as you grow older that time will increase. If you find a mate whom you intensely like, and who feels the same about you, a lifetime of happiness will lie ahead for you both.
Wishing you the best!
Bill
Bill
Thank you for those kind words Bill.
It caused me to reflect on the reasons why I chose to grow my hair out in the first place which was to be an individual. Obviously if people can't accept me for my hair length then there is 0... yes a big FAT ZERO chance they will accept me for my nonconforming personality lol! the thought of being like other guys or wearing the same clothes as them is highly disturbing!
I guess I'll need to learn how to deal with potential dates who are traditional conformers in society - and definately not let them get me down.
Peace
Ryan S
When I look at that short-hair pic of you, especially in that sweater thing, *MY* personal reaction is "Oh, deity, he's a Preppy! Run away!" I like the non-conformist attitude that long hair implies.
Someone made mention of women looking for wallets (ok, not that harsh, but bear with me). That's not always true, those of us who are into individuality have other priorities, and are willing, nay, desirous, to have a more simple lifestyle. So, you don't have to be a corporate drone to win fair maiden, or even not so fair. And even then, there are longhairs in big business and law and other high-powered careers. It will probably take more effort from you to impress a boss, but it can be done. And then you know that you got there because of your WORK, not your looks.
Time and time again I have said that your HAPPINESS is the only thing that counts. And that
goes for everything--not just your hair length.
If you don't want to be single and if long hair is having a negative impact on
your finding the right person then only you can decide what your priorities are.
Sometimes you can have your cake AND eat it but usually this is not the case.
Don't let others make up your mind for you.
Let your 'happiness level' decide for you.
..... When I had shorthair I was happy for about 1-2 weeks before it needed another haircut to maintain the style I had. I couldn't wear any other style and it was costly.
This message has been enlightening and I'll remember these words of wisdom..
Peace
Ryan S - in Australia
Hello Ryan!!!
I want to give you some advice. I think you are looking for an out to the longhair and using impressing the ladies as a way to justify the cutting of your hair.
You need to search yourself and figure out why you want to cut your hair before you cut it . If you arent sure you want to be a longhair give yourself a month to really think it over . If you cant think of a real reason why you need to cut your hair then grow it . If it isnt working out for you then be a man own up to your decision and say it isnt working dont make up an excuse just own up to it.
I am sorry if I seem angry I am not but I unlike others here that cut their hair think you arent using a valid reason
G'day Rich in NY
.... I always appreciate straight forward honest advice and I thank you for posting.
I am not bothered if every lady doesn't consider me attractive. It's just that I happened to like this one girl... and figured I couldn't get past Stage 1 due to my hair. I thought to myself if I cut my hair she would suddenly show interest in me... and the thing is we have such a good vibe going... even with my longhair... perhaps she has a boyfriend... and I am just using my hair as an excuse..
I have been growing my hair out over a year now... so I'll be quite miserable if my circumstances don't change if I turn into a shorthair again.. and I have always been single as a shorthair.
I'll give this some thought... I think my hair would look really nice after 1 more year of growth and then I could just maintain it from there...
Check out my survey results too from the ladies on yahoo.
I have been lurking around for a long time, but now i feel it necessary to reply mostly because i'm a girl :D
It's true that most girls admire outgoing guys and don't value good looks too much.BUT,there surely are exceptions (like me LOL) I'm a big longhair fangirl; when a guy with longhair passes by i just can't help but turn around to see him again :P It doesn't matter if he's beautiful or ugly,his longhair is enough to catch my attention :)
STILL, i think you should do everything for your pleasure.In the end,no girl would like her b-f to complain about his hair everyday ;)
Hello Ryan S ;)
I don't think we've had much interaction but I thought I would throw in my 2 cents as well. I have't read the other responses yet but I am sure they will say the same thing. You should cut your hair because you want to cut it, not because you feel it is what others want of you. If some woman will not return your calls because you have long hair, she isn't really worth your time. I know you say that you are sick of being single, I understand the sentiment, trust me, I was single for quite a while before I met my boyfriend. I had been growing out my hair for about 7 months when we first met. I have been growing out my hair for own reasons as well, and If he would have asked me to cut my hair before seeing me again I would have told him where to shove it, because he wouldn't have accepted all of me, he would only have accepted me on his terms. The same goes for these women. Regardless of the reason for growing your hair out, it's now a part of your identity, why should you change that for someone? If they like you and are serious about a relationship with you, and they are not just toying with you, then they'll accept your long hair, even if it doesn't really float their boat, it won't matter much because they'll be able to focus on other aspects of you that are appealing. Why would you want to be with somone who will only point out ways that you can improve yourself to their standards instead of pointing out aspects of you that they find attractive?
sorry for the long winded response hehehe ;) well, Regardless of the outcome of this dilemma you will still have the support you want and/or need on here. Good Luck!
Danny
Well it's quite simple and we dod get this question from time to time.
1. Remember the 2 week rule and if after 2 weeks you don't want it long anymore and want it shorted and you are REALLY sure then go for it.
2. Don't cut your hair for someone that makes an impression on you, don't do it for others and ONLY for yourself.
Let us know now you decide.
Cheers,
John.B
Women respect men with a backbone. Most women know how long hair takes to grow out. If you were to cut your hair because she didn't like it, she would lose respect for you. Just look up any dating advice for men. You don't have to look masculine, but in some ways you have to have a masculine attitude about how you look when you have long hair. I am the alpha male, no one tells me how to look.
Hi Ryan,
You've gotten some outstanding comments already in some wonderful replies below. I especially agree with Bill, Walter White Tail, and Luckskind; but it was also especially helpful to hear from some of the women! Really, although I can't remember everyone's specific comments, I can't recall one comment that I disagreed with...
The one complaint I remember women making about long hair on men is when hair is greasy and/or uncared for.
As far as whether you eventually cut your hair short or not....
Only YOU can decide how much having long hair means to you. It's an issue of to what degree of imortance it is in your mind. In proportion to its significance you have for it in your own heart, in that proportion you will find yourself willing to fight to keep it. If you do cut it short, do so because you'd like to do it on your own initiative (because you WANT short hair again). Hair by itself, long or short, will never make or break finding the perfect girlfriend. It might help for you to hear, though, that even though both my partner and I are obviously longhaired gay guys, we each get hit on by women FAR more than by other men (lol)....
My best to you!!
- Ken
Well if having long hair doesn't trip your trigger than
snip! snip! Like the others have said is your motivation sound
are you sure about it? I wouldn't try and talk you out of it
but if it feels better to write about it then I'll read.
Take Care
Kevin