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It's been a WASTED year of hair growth. 12 months in and my hair starts getting worse each time it gains length. I had high hopes for the future when I cut my hair in January 2007. Really, I did, but it didn't turn out the way I expected it to. I'm not looking for length, anyway. I am not some obsessed guy wanting hair that goes past your shoulders. No...I am not that kind of person.
What I want is shoulder length hair that looks and feels good. I started out thinking that I've had straight hair all my life. Fast forward 6-8 months later and my hair has gone from being straight and manageable, to being an oily, ugly, wavy/curled, tangled mess of hair. No, I won't post pics either.
Anyway, I am dissapointed. I want to cut it all off, but I'm very attached to it at the same time. If that makes any sense...
Y'know, it's been 12 months. Why cut all that hair? Why let it go to waste, no matter how ugly your hair is? I have to say I am actually AFRAID of cutting it. I really am! I am addicted to growing it out, but this is not the way I want it to look. :(
You know what? Everyone I know has better long hair than me. Everyone in real-life, that is. I won't talk about anyone on this site. And you know why they have better looking hair?
Because they STRAIGHTEN it. Plain and simple. I asked them, I know that they straighten it. A real-life example would be: there are 2 guys in my cousins class in school, 2 15-16 year old guys with very nice straight hair, shoulder length pulled behind the ears. That is the look I was aiming for since I was freakin' 7 years old. Is that too much too ask? I go home after seeing people like this and spend a good hour or two questioning my own ugly hair. What have I ever done? My hair is far from what I had envisioned. I am extremely frustrated. Now, most people have been saying how weird or strange I am to be worried about 'hair' and how I'm a man and not a 'girl'. Well, screw them. This is one of my goals in life and I damn well better have it achieved soon.
Also, these 2 guys...I don't really know them very well aside from their names and appearance. I know that last year, they had wavy/kind of 'big' poofy awkward hair and now they have shiny, sleek, straight beautiful hair in a matter of 3-4 months! The wonders of straightening!
Anyway, DO NOT TELL ME HOW DAMAGING HAIR STRAIGHTENING IS. I AM WELL AWARE OF THAT. I want to straighten my hair, but I am unsure of some 'stuff' as I am not knowledgable of straightening techniques...
Well...how long does it last? My cousin tells me that these guys straightened their hair and it will last for 6 months. Is this true? I mean, these guys had wavy/curly hair last year and this year they show up EVERY damn day with the same straight hair since September. Does this really last that long? And if it does, then that means that straightening isn't that damaging since you don't need to do it repeatedly.
DO NOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE! It's either straightening it or cutting it. Get to the point, and don't convince me to do anything else, please.
Why don't you just try straigtening it? You're not going for extreme lengths, so the damage will probably not be too much since you'll trim it frequently to keep it at shoulderlength.
If you still hate it, you can cut it then. Why cut it before trying it out?
Oh, but I will straighten it...I just want to know if the 'lasts for 6+ months' thing is true or not.
I don't know, but I doubt it. Besides your hair will grow a lot in six months, so the roots won't be straigtened.
It's the reverse of getting a perm from what I understand. It should last about six months, but you'll probably have curly roots, although you may have enough weight of hair by then for the curls to be pulled straight.
Check out this link for more information.
http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip086.htm
Chemical straightening will last for 6 months, yes. And it is extremely damaging, even if you're not repeating it! Heat straightening is something you'd have to do a lot more frequently - a couple of times a week, for sure.
Wait...is the 'result' different aswell? Which looks better, and just how damaging is it?
Your complaint was well written and you explained your problems in detail.
Many of us have found ourselves in the same situation at times
but we thought more length would solve the problem. Well,
sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't.
What we see around us is not always what we get.
Straightening may be one answer but it isn't the only
one. Some of us have special problems that can only be taken
care of by professionals.
Straightening will only make your hair straight but your hair
may still not look the way you want it to. If you were in the
hands of hair experts and you explained how you wanted your
hair to look (with words and pictures), then perhaps they could
find just the right solutuions.
If your hair is thick and unruly, there is no way your hair is
going to look and behave like a head of smooth, straight, sleek, silky, slim hair. But a professional would have a better
idea of how to properly compensate for all that ails you.
In other words, straightening your hair may be the answer but
don't put all your eggs in one basket. There are other
solutions to the problems you mentioned and sometimes what you
really need is the help of a professional to achieve your hair goals.
Good Luck
Curly hair has a most blatant awkward stage, and it does not look good at shoulder length. If you would just grow your hair out longer, perhaps you'd have a gorgeous head of hair that others would die for!
Do consider keeping, and growing, "your God-given hair". Trying to have the hair you've seen on someone else as his natural hair never turns out as good on you as it did on him, and it almost always will not turn out on you as good-looking as your own natural hair.
Bill
Get a hair iron. they can be damaging but if you only want shoulder length hair damage wont be much of a problem. and i think you can buy heat protection spray. i dont know if it works but it worth a try.
getting your hair thined might help too. ive heard bad things about it but im sure it works for some people.
OK. So, what you mean to say is: you're not like me, then (or most of us that are regualrs here, for that matter) - right? (Lol)
Me, too; but growing one's hair long for the 1st time is actually a DISCOVERY process. I had no clue that I had waves in my hair until after I left home at age 18, --- because my father would not allow hair much beyond an inch & a half at the very longest (at the bangs)
Fast forward 6-8 months later and my hair has gone from being straight and manageable, to being an oily, ugly, wavy/curled, tangled mess of hair. No, I won't post pics either.
OK, suit yourself!
Of course, --- because it means that your liking it outweighs *not* liking it!
We are our own worst critics. It probably is not all that bad; but, since you won't allow us to see any pics of you, we are just supposed to ASSUME we would agree w/ you then?
I have to say I am actually AFRAID of cutting it. I really am! I am addicted to growing it out, but this is not the way I want it to look.
Then do as Bill suggested: try growing it out LONGER!!!
That's what ALL human beings say and think to themselves, --- because humans in general are very self-centered (myself included - lol).... The world revolves around me me ME (lol)!!!!
Everyone in real-life, that is. I won't talk about anyone on this site. And you know why they have better looking hair?
Because you can't step back and think objectively about yourself, THAT's why!
OK, if you say so...
A real-life example would be: there are 2 guys in my cousins class in school, 2 15-16 year old guys with very nice straight hair, shoulder length pulled behind the ears. That is the look I was aiming for since I was freakin' 7 years old. Is that too much too ask?
Well, no. BUT... I am not the Almighty Hair God! (and even if I was, I'd still need a day off once in awhile, --- because everybody else on the planet would be asking me for the same thing - lol....)
Again: we are our own worst critics...
What have I ever done? My hair is far from what I had envisioned. I am extremely frustrated.
Stop "envisioning" then, --- and start DISCOVERING what Mother Nature has already so beautifully gifted you!!
Or... WHAT???
Oh, Wonder of Wonders!.... Then just, "go for it!"
OK, --- but, YOU said it, not me (lol)!!
I want to straighten my hair, but I am unsure of some 'stuff' as I am not knowledgable of straightening techniques...
I have no clue, --- best to ask a hair professional about that, anyway...
OK. Experience is the best teacher, anyway, so no problem from me; but, it sure doesn't sound like YOU are all that "convinced" yourself of your own views, huh? Hmmmm...
It's either straightening it or cutting it. Get to the point, and don't convince me to do anything else, please.
OK, I won't convince you to do "anything else", --- but, just the fact that you RECOGNIZE that there is SOMEthing else means that you are already convinced yourself that there is indeed a 3rd option: that of just learning to enjoy your hair as it naturally IS by Nature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, no no no... I won't dare try to "convince" you of that... NOPE, wouldn't even DREAM of trying that, no way, --- no freakin' way!
- Ken in San Francisco
My hair is exactly the same, it's dry, looks ugly (can't post pics, not got camera) and it's very damaged. It's about mid-back in length, and there's nothing I can do to make it look or feel decent. I've tried every kind of treatment and washing method - even using shampoo bars today dried it out even more!
One of my sisters straightens her hair every morning, and has done so for the past 6 years or so. Her hair looks pretty good because she uses lots of products on it, but not as good as if she left it alone--you can tell it's a little damaged. Once it's straightened you can't really see the damage, so once you start doing it a lot, you're stuck.
Just get yourself a straightening iron and go for it. There are various products to help protect your hair if you regularly use heat on it. Check out John Frieda products.
I think I would steer clear of the chemicals.
..
Dude every person got some natural problems somehow no one is perfect, for me my hair is super oily which i never thought its and its wavy kinda the same case as i allways wanted long stright hair but i guess i wont have it..
And as the rest of the guys said we want everything, most of the people i know would do anything to make there hair oily or curly or even wavy while i would do the same to change my hair..
My point dude is that you have three options here either you cut it and destroy your dream, stright it and live the rest of your life with fake hair or Just accept what the god gave you like the rest of us, I hope you will get over this and find your way to solve your problem.
She's no philosopher, but
"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you have."
Well it looks like were in the same boat :)
Tonight I was coming home to cut my hair
Why because like you my hair is all over the place
Trying to grow it out
I do look like some one out of the 70S
Im a manager and you know the look your have to have for that type of job
I jump on the net and found this place
Thank god!!
I see the photos of the guys here and
I see they had it the same as me
But I see after when it got longer
How good it looks!!
That has help my tonight to keep going
It like a good bit of art it take more than 5 mins to make
But when it done ever one tell you how good it looks
Thanks to you all here for helping me
Regards remo
I always thought my hair was straight until I grew it out. Mine isn't really that long, about shoulder length (like you, I am not looking for length) and it was usually all wavy and annoying. I'd recommend getting a hair straightener, and not chemically straightened (If that's what you're talking about, let me know if I missed the mark)
All I do is straighten some of it (Not overboard, because then it just looks bad in my case), and then sleep on it. Then I have nice hair (95% of the time, haha)
Another issue I have is that if I don't feel that I look good in whatever clothes I'm wearing, or just don't feel good about myself, I don't think my hair looks good either in which I would normally think that it's fine. Maybe it's similar in other people.