new thread
Hello everyone,
I've been lurking around for some time now, since I decided to grow my hair. Here's my story: I've always wanted to grow my hair shoulder-length but being in the corporate world I've been unable to do that. Also, other factors like prejudice, family pressure (I'm Hispanic) contributed to my indecisiveness. Lastly, I'm also into guys and keeping my hair buzzed was a way to (sort of) make a statement (stupid, I know) that I don't wanna be a girl (the perennial myth about gay guys) I'm just a guy that happens to like dudes...
This past year, I decided to send everything to hell and just do what I've wanted to do and luckily I'm now in a field where, although it is business formal, they are tolerant of long hair, as long as it looks neat. The catalyst was having a co-worker who had beautiful shoulder-length hair. One day he joked he would cut it off because he was tired of all the maintenance and I joked back saying if he did that, I would grow mine out. Turns out he cut it off, so I decided to grow mine long.
Anyway, my hair has been very short, military-style or buzzed since I was 15, so I haven't seen what my hair looks like for half my life. At that time, my hair was very straight, just like my dad's. Turns out, after nearly three months (last haircut was in October) my hair is growing out wavy like my mom's and at this point, it is starting to get a little bit out of control for my taste (considering I'm coming from a #1.5 all around...)
As soon as I decided to grow my hair, I looked online, found this site and did some reading. I decided to let it grow naturally, with no trimming (except sideburns) and I'm using the Biotin supplement @ 2,500 mcg twice a day. I'm also using a little bit of rogaine at the front, because my hair line recedes on the sides. My problem now is that the part at the back is growing way more wavy than the front and some days it looks messy. The sides also stick out sometimes. I've been using an olive oil-based lotion which leaves my hair very soft and shiny, but that's no longer working because it doesn't hold the waves in place. I've tried mousse, American Crew leave-on conditioner, American Crew Tea Tree pomade and a bunch other stuff, but the waves are just a mess nowadays.
Lastly, the part in the back at the very bottom looks pretty odd, because it's not thick/long enough and since my waves curl up for the most part, it just looks like I'm begging for a trim. My co-worker, the one who had long hair, says to go have that part trimmed as well as the sides so my hair won't stick out. But I keep reading everywhere that I shouldn't do that.
Basically, I'm at that stage where it's no longer short where I can control it, but it's not long enough either. Sometimes, I've seriously pondered if I should just cut it all off, but then I see guys everywhere with long hair (is is "in" all of a sudden? or is it just here in Miami?) and that holds me back... For now, I just try to put "something" on to keep it in place while I'm at work, sometimes having to reapply the pomade or whatever I'm using in the middle of the day, and I've been wearing a cap when I'm off, but I've been told not to do that either.
Needless to say, your advise (if anyone is still reading at this point) would be appreciated. I'm posting a picture of what the back looked like on 12/14/07. It's a bit longer and wavier now.
P.S.: Just so you get an idea of what my goal is, there is a guy on this site, Tristan, whose hair I would kill to have, LOL...
Hiya, may i congratulate you on a brilliant name, good choice, this is coming from theking of optimism here.
When i started growing my hair i belived it to be completely straight, which isnt the case, i have a kink that appears about halfway down my ear, and makes it stick out slightly at the sides (this is actually a good thing, since it appeared in november, i got a lot more comments about my hair (good) than before)
Good luck, keep us updated
Hello and welcome to the board!
Wavy hair is quite an adventure. It can act curly sometimes, flip in random directions, and resist the call of gravity for what seems like ages. If you stick it out you'll have a really great looking head of hair, but the awkward phase can be frustrating. More length will solve many problems.
As for trims, opinions vary. I've avoided them, but nothing says that's the only way to go (and in the same manner I had to convince my mother than nothing said I HAD to get trims either) . James Raymond and Jason have had a couple trima along the way, as have other members. The key seems to be avoiding doing it too often and making sure the person cutting your hair knows what your goals are and exactly what you want trimmed off. If you opt for a trim, I would just have the back done, not the sides. You need those side hairs to reach back into a ponytail binder to help make a "neat" look, and trimming them will just prolong the problem. Also, avoid layering or thinning. Again, that will just prolong the awkward phase. Those things make it more managable for a bit, but then you'll be right back where you started.
Growing hair out from a buzz cut gives you some natural layers anyway. The bottom might seem annoyingly thin right now, but once it's longer the waves mask that to some extent. You can always decide later to have everything cut to all one length once you have more hair to work with.
I don't have much to offer as far as controling your hair with products. I used gel every so often (experiment to find what works) and it helped a bit, but it's not a cure-all. The best thing seems to be to accept that it's going to be wavy and messy-looking for a while. That's what I did, and a year and a half into the growing process from a 3/4 inch buzz cut I'm very pleased with my hair.
Good luck!
Mouse (one of the longhair sisters)
Thank you so much everyone for all your advise and support. Yes, there are those days when I just want to trim or chop it all off, but for the most part, I'm glad I'm finally embarking on this adventure, as mouse described it...
My hair is now a little bit longer than it was when I took that picture. I definitely need to update, but I will wait a little longer so I'm not posting an update every week, LOL.
Thanks again!
MrSunshine.
Welcome. You'll love it here. Beware the awkward phase.
You indicated that the waves in back looked like they were "begging for a trim". I think those waves are actually begging to grow longer. I think your hair looks great, and will look even better as it continues to grow. I'm looking forward to subsequent pictures.
longhair511
Just leave your hair alone and let nature take its course. Your
hair will grow out nicely. Don't focus on it and the time will pass more quickly.
Good luck
Hi MrSunshine,
Welcome to the hyperboard! I am delighted that you have decided to de-lurk and share your photo. You are off to agraet start in your long hair journey, and things can only get better with time. Although there is an awkward phase to deal with, that will pass, and you can be assured that the rewards are well worth it!
Take care, and keep it growing,
David
Hello Mr Sunshine, and Welcome!
If you search the archive for my posts, you'll see they come in two basic date groupings - late 90's to 2000, and from 2006 on. I also work in the corporate world, and am 21 months into my second hair growing effort. I can definitely relate to your awkward phase - it sounds alot like the first time I grew out. The second time was better for two reasons -
1. I used gel (LA Looks or the Walmart Equate knockoff stuff) to keep my longish but disobedient hair to stay in some kind of order. (Once it was long enough to tie back, I switched away from the sticky styling gels, andnow use just a little bit of 100% Aloe Vera gel instead)
2. During the first 9 months or so, I did trim around my ears and at the back of my neck, also to keep everything looking "clean".
Hang in there - remember, you are, and will always be, your worst hair critic. And again, welcome!
Jim
Welcome to the hyperboard!
What you're describing is the dreaded awkward stage.
I thought my hair was pretty insane at that point and everyone reminded me of that. I knew though of what my goal was and to get there I had to endure.
If you just let it grow, it will look great, but it'll take time.
If you trim, you run the risk of being in the awkward stage for what it will stay like forever.
I'd say don't trim and be patient.
Bruce
Welcome - I'm glad you can now achieve an ambition.
You are starting a part of the awkward phase and patience and broad shoulders are needed. What ever you do don't trim it for the first 18 months (and carefully then) as soon as it gains wait it will start to sit neatly. I would suggest a little hair jell or even spray for business purposes will help to keep control.
You are lucky to have dark curly hair - when grown out it will look superb.
Come back here for support, post occasional pictures and don't be swayed by either those around you or an impulse.