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Went to school this morning with a good attitude untill 4th period (we had 3rd swiched with 4th today) I was gonna do my homework during lunch, turns out, lunch isn't till after the period I have the homework due in, and I was gonna get help in lunch for it.
Then my teacher makes me feel like an idiot because I don't know how to do his work, and he says "Don't waste my time by coming to tuturing if you don't do your work" Then, in 5th period, some black kid puts tape in my hair because he says "Only girls be havin dat long o' hair, you prolly get no girls" I think he was hoping I'd have to cut my hair in order to get it out. He did manage to get a small chunk of hair out of my scalp.
Then in 6th period, the 6th graders (I'm in high school, we share a building with middle schoolers) kept hitting a ball at me when they were playing some game. Every 30 seconds, I'd get hit in the head with a ball.
They were probably doing it on purpose.
I get on the bus, this black kid keeps saying "Hey Josh, you like the Twilight Zone?" because for some reason he thinks it's a funny name. All of a sudden I had to use the restroom soooo bad. And today, the bus driver out of all the days of the week took the long way home.
I get home, and everyone is bugging me "What's wrong? What's wrong Josh? Talk to me! What's wrong?!?!?!" And then I go upstairs, and my sisters friend goes "Are you ever gonna cut your hair Josh?"
Why won't anyone just leave me alone for god's sake? Christ, I'm not trying to complaing or anything, but god, today was terrible.
I hope today was better for you than it was for me.
Best wishes,
Josh
Hi Josh,
Sorry to hear you had day and it does happen to all of us from time to time and I've never had a perfect day. So relax this evening and good night sleep and tomorrow will be better. According the UK news on Monday that was the most depressing day of the year. All I will say is at work it very busy will calls. Anyone would think all their computers went wrong!
Keep smiling and it makes a difference.
Cheers,
John.B
I have!
Actually when I think about it, it's a little depressing to think that I'll never be able to live 6 April 1997 over again.
Then again, I had short hair then, so I suppose you could say that additional context has changed my mind about the day. :-)
Why why happened on that day?
I love how you say 'some black kid' yet if they were white, that wouldn't be a defining adjective, now would it?
Hope things get better for you, white kid.
Oh, so black is synonymous with 'low class/of the 'gangster' sterotype'.
That's entirely better. Really.
Nope, you misunderstood me yet again. I didn't mean the entire race , I ment it as a section of black people acting gangsta like they were doing. I didn't mean the entire african american race was low class and poor.
I don't doubt that, however, I can simply go on what you said, and what you said was, in a nutshell, that you used 'black' to describe people who had treated you like crud and happened to fit the 'ghetto' stereotype. Thus giving the connotation that 'black' means said things.
Thus, I take offense. I don't mean to give you any additional headaches, but that's not something I'm going to tolerate without saying something.
Look, I didn't mean to make it some big deal, honestly. It just annoys me that someone willa lways say 'that black kid' when a white kid will always be 'that kid'. It's annoying.
I didn't think you meant anything serious by it, honestly. I'm sorry for being vicious. I was just offended.
Personally, I will often refer to white kids as "that white kid" just as often as black kids.
In any case, he clearly didn't mean to be racist, and I think you're overreacting. You should be more concerned about the eroding freedoms of Americans in GENERAL if you really care.
The only one being racist here is you,glasseyes,as for Josh wasn't trying to offend the entire african american race,and you discriminated against him just for describying his bully as a black person,but woudn't it be the same thing if his bully was white and he said:''some white kid''?Think about it before judging other people,as you cannot see much just for looking at some posts.Also,as you cited discrimination against the african american race,the black people tend to be excluded from our society sometimes,but it's not always because of racism,but because of how they act towards the society,in which sometimes can be very aggressive and discriminating;as an example,a black lady in a restaurant pushed me aside and called me ''vanilla face'',only because I asked her if the line we were in was to the cashier,as there was a lot of people in the place.
Oh for fuck sakes glasseyes. Don´t be so sensitive! You know as well as I do that Josh is not a racist. Don´t try to project your own insecurities on someone else! Especially not if it´s a 15 year old who had a really rough day!
Did I SAY he was a racist? I was avoiding that term, thank you.
I'm not saying he's racist, I'm saying that I take offense to it. And, quite honestly, what he said later about him using 'black' to describe 'ghetto' people is slightly offensive. He isn't racist, and I doubt he meant any harm, I just take offense to it. Is that quite alright with you?
Do you know what? I´m not gona take this any further, cause it´s stupid to argue with textmessages! If we were talking to each other in real life, maybe we could understand each other. But I don´t think this will lead to any good.
If you wish to take offence of things like that. That´s your choice mate! I just think you were a bit rough on Josh. :)
Since longhairs can hear their share of stereotypes I would think that many would notice it and complain when applied to other groups as well. The men here who stand up to assumptions and comments about men with long hair don't do it because they are overly sensitive or insecure, they do it because it is the right thing to do even though they know others will knock them for it.
Josh clearly doesn't get GlassEyes' valid point. While today is not the day Josh is going to understand, I'd say having a rough day doesn't give you a pass on getting called on making stupid statements.
Elizabeth
As I said to glasseyes, I won´t take this black-thing any further! Because I think it´s stupid to talk about sensitive things like this through textmessages.
However, I do want to talk about one thing that you mention. Confidence! If someone would write in a message "some longhair said blablabla", I would not take offence. Even though that person refered to people with long hair as "some longhair".
The point is for me, that everybody, especially us who look a bit different, should try to grow confidence so that they one day won´t care if someone says "some longhair", because that really isn´t an insult! Even of they said to me, "oh, a guy with long hair and likes metal? You must have dirty hair!" or whatever, based on assumptions. I would just laugh!
Stop taking offence so easily and your life will be much happier! :)
Offense comes from attachment. To a person, an image or anything else. The one thing that is more annoying than a bigot, is a self righteous person with their politically correct beating stick ready to do harm to everyone for using language that they were trained to use to express them self. I'd report the ass that put tape in your hair. Next might be a rope around the neck.
I agree with Erik.You cannot judge a person racist only because he used the term ''black'' to describe the boy who was bullying him,and as far as I know,the term black or african american is not used to discriminate people against,but to give them respect,same thing as calling an asian person chinese.
If he were black, he might have.
Often adjectives are just used to indicate a difference from the speaker. It is not uncommon for a man to refer to a male friend as "a friend" and a female friend as a "girl friend", for example (the latter not to be confused with the one-word expression "girlfriend!").
Most schools are broken up into different social groups, and often they follow racial lines. This is not Josh's doing. All he was reporting was that the assaults were from members of a social group different from his, which made them less appropriate, because that usually means they were not welcome. Ditto for the sixth graders, which he also set apart from himself by specifying their grade. No one seems to be whining about his mentioning their grade, though. (Shall we harass Josh about that next?)
I just read his post that he was being bothered by people he did not hang with, which made the jabs unwelcome. I really don't think there was more to be read into his use of the adjectives than that.
Bill
If you take offense at something where no offense was meant, and nothing derogatory was said, then the speaker cannot be responsible for the chip you have on your shoulder.
Another case of political correctness gone way too far.
You are going to have a long and difficult road if you take offense every time at such statements.
I concur, it was unnecessary to select one term in what is an entirly innocent account of a days events.
I've had days like that before, where it just seems that the entire world ridicules you because of your hair.
The best advice I can give is to not let it get you down. Honestly, I think your hair is amazing. I'm not just saying that either - I really do think it's awesome.
Cheers,
Peter
For every good day I had in grades 6-12, there were probably four horrible days. I, and probably everyone else, knows how you feel to some extent. I didn't even have remotely long hair during those years (against dress code) and still people found stuff to pester me about all the time.
Be proud of who you are, and don't let annoying comments or tactics deter you. Its only for a few more years, then you'll be free of the terrors of high school for good.
Peace,
Ryan
That sounds like a pretty awful day. I've never had anyone make fun of my hair, so I can't really relate to that. If they did though I go into a long reasoning that they only think girls have long hair because they follow the norms of society and don't think for themselves. I think if someone put tape in my hair, I would not be able to stand idly by, because that crosses the line into destruction of personal property. It's interesting that a black person said that, I get more compliments from black people than any other ethnicity. They tell me I look like HHH. I say you should stand up for yourself and give them a piece of your mind next time they mess with you.
Oh memories! When I was growing up, 7th through 12th were all in the same school and rode the same bus. The older kids were brutal! Some days I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But somehow I survived and so will you. Tomorrow will be a better day!
Hang in there,
Bruce
Follow the lex talionis whenever you can and soon enough people will find a correlation between you being pissed off and them being hurt.
If you're not that type of guy, then you'll have to endure quite a lot. I can tell you from experience that things don't get any better when you're 17 and in your last year (as I am) either. Maybe Uni will be better? Let's hope so...
Take some deep breaths. Sounds like a crappy day, but take some small comfort in the fact that everyone has had (or will have) days like that.
Remember the "encouraging" words of Dean Ben Lewis in the movie Accepted -
"What is education? It's paying attention, it's opening yourself up to this great big ball of shit that we call life, and what's the worst thing that can happen? You get bit in the ass! Well let me tell you, my ass looks like hamburger meat, but I can still sit down!"
Hang in there, man. Your hair looks great, even with all you went through today, you can still sit down!
Jim
Hey there Josh...
I'm so sorry this happened to you today. You were very unfortunate. However, it proves you are a strong person and have principles and conscious of what's right or wrong.
I suffered offenses from the people at my school during all my childhood and teenhood, all the way untill 9th grade. From experience, what I can tell you is: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and believe me, much stronger. You will learn that if you have ethics and principles, you just have to be yourself after that. No person can point you out as a bad person because of anything other than simple ethic actions. Judging by that, you're free of everything else. If you never hurt people, if you never do anything dishonest, you'll be ok with yourself and that's the only thing that matters. Remember that if you don't like yourself, nobody will. And definitly I think you like yourself. Having that said, you don't need those people who made fun of you at school today, because they simply don't like themselves. They kist want to fit in by doing what they think people will think it's "cool". "Hey dude let's kick the ball off to that kid because he's got long hair and he's a pussy! Hey , we're so manly and stupid, look at us!!" ;)
Trust me, while you're growing our from these experiences, time will fly by and the people your age will be more and more mature and not so prone to need this colective behaviors to fit in. We both know, and surely most of the people in the hyperboard, that we don't need to fit in to be happy or even to have lots of friends.
I just hope you're ok and won't think that you are the one to be wrong, because you're not. If this ever happens to you again at school, maybe you could try finding a way out of it by taling to the director of the school or by talking with the actual people who's arrassing you.
Gosh, this made me mad. Anyways, if you need to talk you can just mail me any time and I'll be glad to help you out!
I just wish you good luck on dealing with this and please don't try to prove anything to you... you seem to be pretty sure of what you are.
About the "black kid" thingy, come on... I'm usually the unusual long haired guy here at my neighbourhood and I know that. And geesh, am I proud? Extremely. I'm also proud of being white and being tall and I was proud of my braces too! So I'm sure black people are also proud of being black... they are black anyways aren't they? And so white am I ;) We know you didn't mean that in a racist way, I believe no man with long hair is a racist.
Stay well fella!
Awful day, indeed. But take heart. There's a lot of good things to be happy about and thankful for. What works best for me when I have those days is to try my best not to let it get me down, find solace in the things I enjoy doing, and look forward to something fun.
And don't worry about what other people think. Easier said than done, yes, and it can take a long time to get the what-will-they say-feeling out of your head. But you just be who you are. As long as you're not hurting anyone (physically or otherwise) or breaking the law, you have a right to be any way you want to be.
Whoa! That is not your fault! The school swapped the periods without giving you adequate notice. If your teacher is too stupid to see that, he has no business holding down a job that requires a college degree. Hell, he's not smarter than a fifth grader.
Crap like this will happen until you graduate or until you get big enough that no one will mess with you, whichever comes first. Remember, school is in many ways like a jail. It is full of people who don't want to be there with each other. It is also like a jail in that law enforcement is inadequate. If physical stuff happens to an adult, the perpetrator gets arrested. In recent years there have been "safe schools" initiatives underway, but these mostly are a result of lawsuits against the school board, based on the premise that a safe environment is owed to every student. If the assaults are not serious and you are not big enough to stop them, the best path to sanity is to realize that time will heal the problem. Think of it this way - they probably are as unhappy with your being there as you are with their being there. In a jail, neither of you can leave, though. So the result is to act out against each other.
Adults put kids into such an environment and then they wonder why kids form gangs. Often it is just to protect themselves because the adults are not doing their job in that regard. It is the duty of adults to provide a safe environment for children.
(Oops! This is not your fault, but the school's again. Do we see a pattern here? Nothing to "blame Josh for" yet.)
This is when you throw it over the fence and out into the road. "Oh, gee, I was gonna throw it back to you, but I guess I missed!" They will soon tire of chasing it, and this will cease.
If people don't touch you, ignore stupid comments. This will happen all your life, even as an adult, so get used to it.
Well, as some of the others said, sometimes all the crap hits you at once. This is the social equivalent to a "bad hair day". That's part of life. You'll have other days when the sun will be shining down on you, to make up for it.
That's when you say, "Absolutely not. Ever. As for what went wrong today, I'll talk about it later." Unless you do want to talk about it at the time, of course....
Unfortunately, a lot of people sense weakness and pounce. It is a predator instinct. The only way to fend them off is to be assertive. Learning to do this takes time, maturity if you will. That too will come in time.
Hang in there, guy. Things will get better. Honest!
Bill
ouch!! :D
and that last sentence was the perfect closing statement for this awful day LOL
Hey Josh
Sorry to hear that you had such a bad day. I've had far worse, especially during my two months at Jackson Senior High. When that, I lived in a very poor neighborhood and was forced to attend this school. The students were predominantly black, and the remaining portion were Hispanic and a small number of whites. Mostly Central-Americans and a few Cubans and "white kids".
I remember both the Hispanics and Blacks giving me hell. It's funny because I speak Spanish and am indeed Spanish but for some odd reason, Central Americans disliked me. They didn't consider me part of "La Raza". They called me names daily, they used to call me "Guero", and "Gallego Cochino" All that because I spoke the language differently and happened to have a slightly lighter complexion. I remember once asking this "white kid" if he thought the central americans would accept me if I had Moorish blood! He laughed at the idea and doubted they would. The only hispanics I managed not to get harassed by were the Cubans.
As for the Blacks, they insulted me and shouted racial slurs at me daily during lunch. They called me a Spic, Cracker, Mexican, you name it! They even use to take my lunch away from me. Yes, I admit it, I'm a coward........ Try doing something about it in front of a huge crowd of blacks! I just had to get out of there and finally did after we moved to a different neighborhood.
Luckily after that, I went to a school which wasn't as segregated and bleak as this one was. People of all races seemed to get along fine and I wasn't starving to death during lunch time ;-)
School, I really hate the memories that place brings...lol
Chris H
Hey Chris
Thats certainly a sad story regarding years that supposedly are your best years before becomming an adult.However I too was not treated well during my school years and the day graduation came was a definate relief.I was basically a loner in school and never participated in anything at school once they opened the doors at the end of the day.I literally hated the place and to this day have never gone to any of my high school reunions as why would I want to see any of these people anyway!LOL.I'm not saying holding a grudge is good but I have no desire to remember those years.As for Josh I really feel bad that such a nice guy is taking this king of garbage but once they focus on you to terrorize it really can be unpleasant.Hopefully this will blow over for him or that his family moves to another town thats got a better school.Thanks for the memories....I think!LOL.Take care my friend.Mark
Damn Chris, what a story! Sorry about all that. As bad as it was, the dynamics of it are interesting on lots of levels. "Moorish blood"? That's a term I haven't run across since reading Don Juan.
His father's name was Jose -- Don, of course,
A true Hidalgo, free from every stain
Of Moor or Hebrew blood, he traced his source
Through the most Gothic gentlemen of Spain; (1.9)
Anyway, social groups are an odd phenomenon.
I don't think I'd have gotten hit in the head with that ball but twice. The first time, "Yea, sorry guys, I knwo you didn't mean to hit me." The second, I'd have punctured the ball or taken it and thrown it on the roof or far away.
These days where bad things happen can teach you much. What? Your call -- stand up for yourself, don't make yourself a target, do your homework the night before, stay away from kids weilding tape, get tutored by a teacher who doesn't make you feel stupid (this is antithetical to all good teaching philosophy, btw!!!), use the bathroom before getting on the bus, etc. As deep or not as you want to go.
Good luck. I say if I wake up alive that it's a good day.
MB
Ah we all have bad days one just has to suck it up and move on.
Kevin
Well i never really got physically threatened or harmed mainly because ime in the later years of school and 6ft.2.
All i can reccomend Josh is maybe learn to defend your self, join a gym and gain some weight etc. because if somone put tape in my hair i would ensure that they came off 2nd best at the end of the day.
Dude, The same things used to happen to me but not as much anymore. I'm a senior now and most people like my hair now. Don't worry though; this is a great place and we all will support you. Good luck.
Mike
I think you should probably start boxing or do karate or something so you can defend yourself because that crap's not gonna fly.
Also, I mean this in a nice way: You need to start putting on more weight because being really thin is a sign of weakness.
I can only address your concern about your teacher (I'm a teacher).
Is there a reason you put off doing the homework until the last minute? Did you at least attempt to do some of it the night before, or did you walk into class without anything done?
I do expect my students to at least try the homework. I give completion points for homework.
Was this the first time this year that you didn't have your homework done for the class?
It is not acceptable in my class to continually come to class without work completed. I am available for extra help every day. But students need to seek help in a timely manner, not continually "after the fact". I don't allow them to come to class not even attempting to complete the work, then want/expect extra help after school. I will gladly help any student who puts forth the effort to succeed.
If this was the first time you came without your work completed, I'm sure the teacher did not intend for you to feel the way you did. But you have to understand the viewpoint of a teacher when a student continually comes in without work completed and says "I didn't understand it." It eventually seems like an excuse instead of a reason.
There is usually a reason for people's behavior/reactions....
I am sorry that your entire day seemed like it was full of negatives. We all have days like that...it's just a part of life. Wake up tomorrow knowing it is new day!!