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Whenever I'm in public, I cause a stir.
Yesterday at the farmer's market, some guy yelled out "How long did it take to grow?"
At the shopping center, some teenage girls were talking about my hair (in a good way). I turned around just to let them know they were talking about a guy.
I don't care about what strangers think, but it's become impossible to go out in public without getting a reaction. It seems that people truly have never seen hair as long as mine. I may become a recluse. Thoughts?
Ed
Hey Ed, now that's an interesting situation. While I can sympathize with your having to deal with all the reactions, in a way it's good that the public is seeing you, they are being educated. Of course on those days when you really find it intolerable, you could just try to make it less conspicuous...although with all your hair I'm not sure how easy that would be for you.
All I can say is your hair is superb and I can only dream of attaining what you have. Well done!
Cheers to you,
Max
Haha you might wanna be careful around girls... you just might make them jealous.
Even in San Francisco, going back and forth all day on the streets, I only see hair as long as yours rarely...if I had a normal office job, it would be approximately never (discounting time spent with extreme longhairs). So the average person, living in a place less approving of diversity would see hair your length *never*!
Even at thigh length, if I go out with it down, I will get frequent comments, heck, I get comments when it is up, too! If I didn't get tangles and damage from wearing it down, I would, regardless of the level of commentary, but I do, so most of the time my hair is bunned, although I will pull the stick unprompted if I hear the right kind of commentary...or by request, usually.
The only time I escape notice with it down, is when I am with my girlfriend...even with a bunnytail (essentially a single knot) her hair is longer than mine, and if hers is all the way down, I might as well be invisible, never mind the hair. Heh. Kinda cool, that! Also cool is being in a group of longhairs, and having the shortest hair.
Advice...well, not so much, I tried recluse, and it just wasn't much fun.
Generally I've learned to just tune out the various comments and reactions that I get from bystanders in public. For some reason shopping malls tend to bring most overwhelming level of attention, so I'll often wear it up and out of the way to minimize fuss.
Ed - clearly you ought to spend more time with people who have longer hair than your own. Problem solved, hee! :P
Follow Ups:
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Dianyla - that's a great picture of the rare but beautiful Northern California Braided Python - Folliculus Infinitus.
;-)
Jim
Heh, actually it's Folliculus Infinitus Oregonensis, frequently found in it's native habitat in/around toilets. ;)
My biggest problem, if you can call it that, was always women wanting to touch my hair. Evidently, my hair type many women try to achieve by torturing the hell out of it with all kinds of nasty shampoos and what not. I cut it about 3 years ago, and now am growing it back. My Myspace Page shows it at it's current length.
My Spot on Myspace
I hope once mine grows out I can cause a stir.....I like controversy LOL!!!
As one of the more thoughtful and articulate longhair'd guys I've ever "met" here, ya KNOW that you're not gonna become a recluse. We all have our own individual reasons for havin' long hair. Becoming reclusive ain't one o' yours. You're lookin' great, Ed. See you around.
Yours in longhair'd camaraderie,
Quenyan
Although I think you have a significant lead on me (how long is yours now anyway?) I get reactions from strangers sometimes, and I don't expect that to stop. Mine is just passing waist length. Yours must be longer than that, so was there a particular point where you noticed an increase in remarks?
Then again, remember that statisticly you should expect there to be "streaks" of remarks, even if the frequency hasn't changed. Had to slip that bit of geekery in.
Aside from one or two times where somebody got "creepy" and acted like they were going to follow me, I have had nothing but positive experiences since I arrived in the Bay Area; but if you don't like attention, you don't like attention and there's nothing you can do about it.
I don't crave attention. I just deal with it, and it doesn't bother me that much. I dunno. I guess this is one of those things where you have to decide what you value most. Of course, you could stuff it up under a hat or something if you don't want to be bothered, but if you are comfortable having it loose then you are, in a sense, punishing yourself in a different way.
Oh, I tend to have it tailed a lot. Maybe just tailing it would help. Unless it's going to be blown by the wind, I find the tail to be most comfortable, so I'm not doing it to avoid attention; but I have noticed that loose hair blowing in the wind gets more attention.
Ed, the truth is, most people haven't seen hair as long as yours. Even at the other forum, I've teased you because so many times people have hijacked threads just to give you a compliment about your hair after seeing your signature pics.
It seems that you have unwittingly almost become a celebrity. I can understand that it could make you uncomfortable at times.
On the other hand, I've read your kind words and seen your warm, open face, and I just don't see becoming a hermit as a viable option for you.
I imagine that most of the comments made are those of compliments and awe. I hope that you can just accept those at face value and learn to not let it make you self-conscious.
I think that you have something unique and beautiful in your wonderful long hair, and the world needs more of the unique and beautiful.
My Hair Site
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Hi Ed,
Although I don't get nearly as much attention as I imagine your amazing mane would bring, I have at least noticed a pattern of behavior w/ how the public responds to the following...
1) Neat & tidy Braid, segmented Ponytail, or suble & tidy Bun: little to no attention;
2) Looser or more exotic-looking Braid, looser Ponytail, or less subtle-looking Bun: slightly more attention;
3) Completely loose, blowing-free-in-the-breeze, and totally unrestrained hair: MAXIMUM attention!!!
I think all of us longhairs have our moments when we rightfully want to proudly show off what took so long to grow; but, I also think it's only natural human nature to at times just want to, "blend in with the crowd"...
Once in awhile I overhear comments about my hair from behind. 99% of the time they are favorable comments, --- and the few that haven't been, have not been any serious problem for me (yet, at least - lol). As my mane continues to get longer & longer, though, I know there may come a day when its length may cross into "exotic" territory...
One time Bill Choisser, Scott (Absalom), and myself were all together over at Bill's house. We decided to walk over to Noe Valley to get a bite to eat.... I'm sure with THREE longhairs all together, I sensed we were quite a sight to see in public (especially Scott, w/ his knee-length segmented ponytail)!!!
Just like w/ body-builders whose physiques grace men's magazine covers, or drop-dead gorgeous women modelling the latest make-up brands on TV, anything "bigger-than-life" gets noticed (BIG-time)!! I guess the trick is knowing when to "play it up", --- or, conversely, "play it down..."
Either way, I hope you have FUN, --- you've EARNED it!!!
- Ken
Heh, this is why I love my lazy bun so much...I can hear the whispered/giggled comments behind me, pull the stick out, and hear the gasps! as it falls freely to its full length.
That's awesome Ed! Is your hair still growing?
This happens to me quite a bit too Ed. People do notice it and
make comments. Most have been positive. One child once asked if
it was real. He had never seen a male with hair as long as mine
in his whole life. Bottom line: it is hard to hide when you have
hair that is well over half of your height, unless you never go
out in public.
If you want to be less noticed, maybe you could wear it up in
a bun. The other solution is unthinkable: trimming back to waist
length or less. Keep it long.
I attached an image showing my hair length.
Scott
You love it!
Most people didn't care about my long hair at all, they rather make 'funny' comments about my shoes or clothing.
Bastards.
Hello,
In Montreal, people are really used to seeing all types of folks, and long hair is a neutral trait whether it is on men or women. I get very few gratuitious comments from strangers, it is as if Montreal have seen everything. That makes life very pleasant.
I would be curious if some people who have had long hair for many years, have seen changes in attitudes over time, like having had peace for a while, and suddenly starting to hear comments from strangers, even though the hair is at the same length (terminal or chosen maximun length).
I have noticed the opposite phenomenon, that is, in the early eighties, I had college students yell "hippy!" from passing cars, and some strangers tell me to cut my hair, including one who in a judgemental tone, said "You think you are Louis XIV", because of my very thick hair that can be mistaken for a wig.
After the mid eighties, the negative comments from strangers vanished, never to return.
Have a nice day,
Georges in Montreal.
I got a lot more reactions in the late 1990s and early 2000s than I get now. This is probably because long hair is more common now. No complaints about that!
There's been an uptick in interest in the last year because of my growing a long beard, but the reaction nevertheless does not match that I got ten years ago.
Bill
Yes. Only because the fashion and beauty industry has fed women the lie that long hair is unflattering in females past age 30. I am 47, and I have no intention of getting a short bob, sleek do, or poodle perm. I'm a rarety where I live, as most women my age have opted for the the above mentioned styles. But I am also mistaken by many as being 10 to 15 years younger than I actually am, and I condider my long hair to be one contributor to my youthful looks. The other is my mother's good anti-wrinkle genes, along with no smoking, no substance abuse, living a clean lifestyle.
Carol
Hello Ed, You have such wonderful hair and you must also have a wonderful spirit because so many people on this site have said so in their responses. I'm sure their thoughts are helpful for you. Another "viewpoint" I wanted to add is that in our current
time, with cellphones, blackberries, mp3 players, etc., a lot of people are passing thru public spaces (malls, sidewalks, etc) but they no longer are aware of the other people/humanity around them. As an architect, I find this sad because one of the wonderful reasons for well designed public spaces is to engage people with one another.
I realize these thoughts aren't helpful to you on those days when "I vont tu be alone" (as Greta Garbo said!). I agree with Ken and others that those are the days to "contain" the hair.
However, I imagine there are "good days" when you are fine with people noticing you. If anything, your hair allows you to have an "icebreaker" with people. Basically I like to think that most people are "good" and that they often would like to engage and talk/communicate with other human beings.
Best of luck with everything. Your photos on your website show an open and peaceful person. Plus your truly gorgeous hair.
Johnnie
Thanks for the replies! A few responses below.
Max L: Thanks for the complements! I probably need to figure out how to tie up my hair. Up to now, I've only worn my hair loose.
Heyman62: a teenage girl did make a jealous comment.
Trolleypup, Dianyla - its good to know that public reactions are normal for super-longhairs. P.S. I like the idea that if I had a girlfriend with hair like Dianyla's, then I wouldn't be causing the stir (;-)
Corvettemike - there's an old proverb about being careful about what one wishes for. Good luck with your hair growth!
Quenyan - Thanks! I'm glad the members here aren't tired of my one-liners (;-)
Steve Nova, ESDI-80 - I'm at upper calf length, but the ends are thin. At this length, I am constantly getting attention (as opposed to an occasional comment when I was at classic length). The comments have always been positive.
FrannyG, Ken, DavidN - thanks! "Unique and beautiful" is the best complement ever! When in public, I do feel like a celebrity, just a non-famous one (;-)
Ken - thanks! I need to figure out how to "play it down".
Scott - we're very much alike in this regard. There's no hiding that amount of hair!
Paul - I like an occasional hair complement, but I can do without the constant attention.
Adagio - the other people will grow up. Eventually.
Jann, Johnnie - thanks!
Georges, Bill - I think people are more used to diversity today than in past decades.
Ed
Hi Ed,
You got a magnificent head of hair and certainly a great inspiration to people here that are growing it out and just shows that you have great looking and well kept longhair.
I certainly would not want you to become a recluse as that does not do any of us any good. Most of us are social animals and like social interaction. Sometimes in life as much as you don't want to hear or provoke a reaction you sometimes get it..
I would certainly say that the comments you got can look in a positive light and I'm sure you do. I know over herer in the UK you don't see too many people with that length of hair. I believe there is a guy in the Longhair Community I don't remember his name from the south of the country who's hair is beyond waist length.
I know some people would say if you got it flaunt it. You are part of a small group of makes that I've seen with hair as long as yours. I hope that sounds in a positive way.
Cheers,
John.B
Enjoy it while you've got it! (The hair and the attention)
It depends to a degree on where you are.
My hair caused a stir sometimes with mixed results in AZ, but once I moved to WA it gets much more positive attention.
I'm happy to get all the positive attention I can get :)
Welcome, Lasivian. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous, dont ever cut it. It is amazingly thick too. An image of my hair is further down in the same thread.
Scott
Yes, Lasivian, welcome to the board; your hair is truly legendary, a gorgeous achievement indeeeeed! Twenty years w/o any trims? So you're thirty? See ya around! Namaste.
Best reg(u)ards in REALLY longhair'd camaraderie,
Quenyan
NY
Well to be honest, I would love this kind of attention. From what it sounds like you are receiving attention in a pretty positive way. It basically tells you that people envy your hair, and that you have also accomplished something that others are too afraid to accomplish (growing your hair out to a very long length). If I were to receive this kind of reaction from people (which I am sure I will some day) I would be proud of it.
If you think about it, most people think to much about what other people would think of them, before growing here hair out REALLY long, before even considering that it is something they really want to accomplish, but you are different from them, so be proud of your locks, and your individuality :)
-Miller
i can understand where youre coming from, sometimes you just dont want to talk or even think about hair. when youve grown it for so long it becomes normal to you and its hard to understand why its such a big deal to others.
im in southern california and i get about the same reactions as youve described.
Happens to me at school. Just today I went into the nurses office for something and a kid in the waiting room said "Boy you got some long hair". He was the only one who was talking about it, so I could tell he was a loud mouth =D. Everyone told him to be quiet and that he was an idiot...I don't know why they said that, buy yeah.
Kids at school also make me choose things over my hair sometimes. Sometimes really disgusting things just to freak me out. Mostly jocks do this to me.
And every time I come back to class from lunch, and wait at the door for the teacher to come back as well, kids always like to try to convice me to cut my hair.
At lunch since I share a building with middle schoolers, I can't walk without some ignorant kid asking me "Hey are you a boy or a girl?" happens to me every day.
In PE, I share with the middle schoolers too. We walk around the Gym sometimes, and this girl with a REALLY loud voice screams at the top of her lungs "YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!" and starts giggling.
So, I've learned to accept that people don't care who you are, how you act, how nice or mean you are, they will talk about you no matter what you are or do. So I just live and accept that it's a part of life.
I get mostly favorable comments or the "How long" question can can't remember the last time I had a negative comment but we older guys tend to get harassed less.
Kevin
John B, Pat S - thanks!
Lasivian - Welcome to the board!
Miller - I like an occasional hair complement, but not the constant attention.
Daedalus - your hair is like mine was 3 years ago. Sounds like you're already a celebrity!
Josh - You're very mature. Your classmates will eventually grow up.
Kevin C - Agreed.
Ed
I come from a goofy, attention seeking family (my dad regularly wears the kitty cat headband seen in Dianyla's picture around town just for fun) so I can't identify with being affected by being noticed, especially not when I am wearing bright yellow shoes that I regularly have the pleasure of seeing people move their heads straight down clearly taking in the shoes.
I do understand your situation in a similar way though. When I taught school I made sure to never take a job in my town because I didn't want to be "on duty" or available to the public every time I stepped out the door. No matter how much I enjoy the company of my students and former students there are times you just want to go the store and get back without any interruptions.
We all have different levels of what bothers us and "get used to it" is no answer since you shouldn't have to when there are ways to minimize your hair. Definitely learn the Trolleypup easy bun with dramatic reveal. The latter part doesn't help with your problem any but will come in handy the times you do want to be noticed.
My own favorite way to get my hair out of the way is merely using a hat, my hair is thin enough to go under anything, yours might need a roomier hat. Another one that comes to mind is a braid ending early in a small folded bun. Dave Decker goes from ankle length to waist this way and it really cuts the attention. Either way you will stand out less, at least hairwise.
Elizabeth
Yep, this is really my only annoyance with hair-related comments that require some level of response or involved conversation. Most of them are pleasant, of course, but like Elizabeth said sometimes you just want to leave the "Freaky Long Hair Ambassador" hat at home and go run an errand in peace!
Thanks for the link! Robert makes it look so easy. I will have to learn this art.
Ed
If you ever make it to any of the periodic LHC SF meets, I'm sure some in-person tutoring can be arranged.
That's the reason I started my website. I figured that I would just compile the info to questions that people keep asking me...funny thing is though, I don't often refer people to it...I just keep answering the questions.
It's more of an excuse to make an extremely brief connection with a total stranger, but they will forget about me as soon as I'm out of sight...their interest is usually very slight as indicated by the reactionary simplicity of their comment/question. It's worth it to have answers to the most often asked questions ready for a quick response but if I don't have time to chat then I'll just make eye-contact and smile as I keep walking so they don't get the mistaken impression that I'm copping an arrogant attitude. Hair generates curiosity as it's something that almost everyone deals with anyway.
The majority of people I pass don't verbalize any reaction to my look and either way I don't let it bother me as I don't wear my hair long (and loose) to get a reaction...I also don't try to hide it to avoid reactions. Many other people I pass are more attention getting than I am and I can't remember most of them.
Considering many of the "social norms", I don't mind challenging people's perceptions of such by demonstrating a conscious, knowledgable and communicable reason/effort to having very long hair...not that I would necessarily need one as growing longer is what hair naturally does.
Basically, just don't worry about it but if you notice it happening frequently then be prepared for it.
Us shy people tend to feel uncomfortable at ANY attention directed towards us, positive or negative. Your hair is going to attract attention because hair like yours is a rarety among men. To paraphrase a Biblical passage, your hair is the light that shines from you, don't hide your hair (light) under a bushel basket, but let it out for all to see. If people don't see it, how will they become used to it, and therefore more accepting?
I can understand the recluse part. I have a tendency to limit my exposure to the public at large. I pick times of the day when stores have the least amount of traffic (the dinner hour or early morning are perfect). But, much as we might like the hermit life, we do have to venture out into society. I think you need to find a middle ground that works for you, but certainly not cut yourself of from public exposure because your hair gets undue attention.
Carol
You won't become a recluse, because, you have magnificent hair and you know it. What is the use of having such beautiful hair and keeping it all to yourself? That would be very sad.
You don't have a bad website either, but, I kept thinking "what the hell is he talking about?" haha! I never was very good at electronic stuff, but, I did cut the cord on a clothes dryer one time, (220 volts) WHILE IT WAS PLUGGED IN! Well, there was a lot of pretty sparks and stuff.
jeffrey
Strange. Here in Switzerland I feel that it is completely accepted to have long hair. Mine is going down almost to my hips.
Even in the U.S. I don't get much attention. Usually, only other longhairs have a second look at my hair or comment it (the comment I hate most: Are you a musician?).
Elizabeth and Dianyla - Thanks for the advice. I will attend a future LHC get-together.
Erik - we're much alike. Your website has done a great job in helping longhairs.
Carol - I'm introverted by nature. The mane-slinging, floor-ain't-getting-in-my-way persona that I project here is for the board. In real life, I don't sling my mane and the floor is starting to get in my way (;-)
Jeffrey - thanks!
Swiss longhair - welcome to the board!
Ed