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We have been having exams now these last few days of school before the holidays. So we have been going to lunch at different times than normal. Well today I had exams in a class upstairs so I was later getting to lunch than normal. When I was getting my napkins and a fork I already heard somebody call me "mullet man". Then when I sat down I pretty much got attacked. Not physically but verbally and mentally. The tables are joined together so I was sitting with my friend but the people at the end started to me right away. First they said I looked like a girl. Then I started calling me gay because my hair. THey just kept on the whole time. I tried to ignnore them but they still got to me. I had to restrain from throwing my spaghetti at the f***ing faces (sorry for language, I'm pissed off) But If I was to do something stupid now I would fail all my classes by missing the exams so they weren't worth it. But I also heard other people at other tables saying stuff about my hair. Although I don't know what exactly. But all of them were people my age and in the same grade that I've known. Most of the upper classmen leave me alone. I am determined to hunt down the one boy that made the most fun of me after Christmas and beat his A$$. I like my hair and I don't think I look like a girl nor do I have a mullet (people obviously don't know what a mullet is) But I can guess that this is only the beginning of it all. Once my hair gets truly long it will probably get worse. Also growing my hair long is only the first thing of changing my appearence. Just like I've always wanted long hair I've always wanted earrings. But now I was to get both ears pierced I can only imagine the amount of putdowns I'd recieve. But I still plan on doing it. Today is probably the worsest day so far this school year. Usually I only get one or two remarks about my hair. Why do I have to go thru so much hell??? Even my family doesn't hesitate to make remarks. Just the other day my grandpa said he'd give my $5 to go get my haircut. I bet the two kids at Columbine were probably growing their hair out and couldn't take the remarks so you know what they did. That is the type of thing that I feel like doing when I have people like the ones in the lunchroom today. But I'm not throwing my future away for them. But I'm already looking forward to school reunions in the future. Where see who goes furthest in life. ME!!!!
why alter what you do based on what others might say? you want pierced ears? get them. you may just as well face the fact that comments are just part of the baggage of choosing to look different. one sure way of making it worse is reacting. any response tells boors like your lunch 'buddies' that they struck a nerve. kicking the crap out of any of them would be just as stupid as throwing spaghetti in their faces.
as far as family comments.... what kind of sense of humor does your grandfather have? next time he 'offers' you money to get a haircut ask how much would it cost for him to drop the subject? make sure you're smiling when you say this as you really don't want to alienate your relatives.
look at the lunchroom incident as confirmation that you've 'arrived' as a longhair. as people get used to seeing you with longer hair the comments should dry up somewhat
... start wearing it in a small ponytail? I'm almost at the point where I'm going to do it regularly. Even a small ponytail would instantly stop the "mullet" witch hunt.
changing anything in response to ridicule is giving in to people whose opinions do not matter. ponytailing your hair isn't a bad suggestion, but do it to keep your hair out of your food or because it's windy-- not because a few oafs have such little self confidence that they need to pick on you to build themselves up. words do no harm unless you let those words in.
Gilee:
Your anger is understandable, so be angry. But the things you would like to do while your angry--reconsider because every one of them will land you in big trouble, and only confirm for your detractors that you are what they think you are.
You are learning earlier than most of them that to be who you are and to choose your own path in life will bring resistance. It also brings a fair amount of joy.
I am a teacher in a school. My students (I teach from 8-12th grades) think my long hair is cool. Other students who don't know me, stair often and their judgments are obvious on their faces. A few students who don't know me have stopped me to say they like my hair (and asked how they could go about growing their out). I am telling you this to say that there are also people amongs your peers who like your hair, and more importantly, who think you've got guts, who admire you. Unfortunately, they have remained silent so far.
Take care of you. Don't take care of your detractors. Be gentle with your family but be firm about your hair. Sometimes you can do this with a little irony: when grandpa offers the five for a haircut you might respond with a smile and something like this--aw come one grandpa, am I not worth more than a haircut to you? It's a question. You said it while smiling. He'll get the message and probably not bug you about your hair anymore (next time it will be an uncle!).
Would your parents let you have a party at the house (they need to be around just because it's smart)? Invite your friends and one or two of your detractors. Make sure they are in the minority at this party, but make sure they have a good time--that's all. They will see you in a different light, and they will talk.
Take care.
Robert
Remember, throughout history, for every great idea or advancement or talented artist or visionary leader, there has always been at least one critic. Just be thankful that you are not like them! They are the ones who really lose by shutting themselves out of positive relationships by basing their opinions of others soley on appearance.
The only one who has to like your hair is you. But, you can bet your bottom dollar, for every guy who critisizes your hair, there is probably at least one other who admires it and who wishes that they had the guts to grow theirs. And also for each of these detractors, there are at least two ladies who really love your hair. Wait till you get a little older, and they will start telling you so!
Ignore these people. They jealous as hell of how your hair
looks. They just wish they had the guts to grow their hair.
Some of them just wish they had hair to grow.
Dude! next time someone offers you $5 to get a haircut, let them know that a haircut is about $10 and use the money to buy a girl (or yourself or maybe a friend you haven't talked to in awhile) dinner.
Blasphemy is what you are guilty of . . . blasphemy of the status quo fashion, that is, and I say good for you! Shows two things: 1) you know what hair style you like, and 2) you have the inclination to grow it the way you want. Only question that remains is whether or not you have the balls to exercise your freedom to grow hair to the length you want in the face of the mindless conformists who want you to remain "normal." I'm rooting for you, and when you need a dose of encouragement, the friendly folks on this board will be here for you.
Good luck,
-Tock
How long is it in the front and back? I was expecting ignorant people to say I have a mullet but I've never heard comments like that before.
You could get a slight trim in the back only, if it's really bad.
Boy, does this take me back... to a time when I experienced the same thing, only different!
In 1973, I was forced to keep my hair short in high school, and you can believe I went through torment just as severe as yours if not worse. In those days, I always got my haircuts on Friday night, in the hope that my hair would be somewhat grown out by Monday morning. But of course, it was always obvious, and I hated those Mondays when everyone had to get their licks in. Imagine a hallway full of guys making electric-clipper buzzing sounds ("zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!") when they saw me coming.
Back then, it was long-haired jerks making fun of anyone with short hair. Perhaps this behavior has nothing to do with hair. Hair just happens to be a convenient way of putting down others for kicks.
I had thought that kids today are, in a sense, lucky, because both long and short hair are pretty much acceptable to all in this day and age. Your experience may prove me wrong. Is it really that bad for long hairs in school today?