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I'm 17 years old, and I used to have long hair until November 5th, 2001. I had grown it up to 17 months before cutting it. I cut it because my mom encouraged me to, the hair made me uncomfortable, it didn't grow out exactly the way I had liked, and people told me I looked like a girl. However, I've been considering regrowing my hair. But first, I want to make sure I'm making the right choice.
I was with my hair cut at first, but I began to miss it later on. I've wanted long hair since I was about 12 years old. However, there are a few things that are making me think twice about regrowing it. First and foremost, my mom would be unhappy with my long hair. When I told her I wanted to regrow it, she said that I was better-looking with short hair, that she wanted me to look like a BOY, and she was afraid homosexuals would approach me when I'm away at college. But mainly, I'm afraid of her disapproval. I can take the comments from others, as I've already taken them before.
The second problem is how I should regrow it. I have wavy hair, and grew it out without any trims last time. When it was long, I grew it out to about shoulder length in the back while the hair around my face reached my jawline. With my hair down, tit didn't look particulary good OR even, so I tied the hair around the sides of my head back into a ponytail. (The bangs were still a little too short to reach the back.) This time around, I want my hair to be even as I'm growing it out. I don't want my hair to look ratty for the next 2 years. Therefore, I plan to get it evened out at the barber once every 3 months. (I suppose that should be about 1.5 inches each time before I trim it.) However, I want my bangs to be shorter than the sides and back. I don't want people to tell me I've got a mullet, but I want to keep my hair out of my eyes. But what I want to ask is, "How often should I trim my hair? Is every 3 months a good number, and what do I tell the barber so that she won't cut my hair short?" Remember, I want the hair above my eyes to be shorter, maybe down to just above my eyebrows. Sorry, I just came up with a couple of more questions: "Should I even do this?" and "Do you have any hair style/length suggestions for me? (Look at my picture above.)"
I appreciate your help, and I'm really glad this board is around!
Tell your mom that gay men far more prefer other men with short hair, (they generally are interested in men and not women) and if that is her greatest fear about you growing your hair then she should be encouraging you to let it get longer. That will give her some food to chew on. Most moms seem to say stuff like that but they eventually give up when they see that your hair has become a positive thing. You can also tell her that it will build your character...how can she be against that?
As for a style to keep your face clear, I have bangs myself but certainly don't have a mullet. If you go to my website you can see a couple of photos. Don't let your fear of the mullet make you think that it all has to be one length. With bangs I can tie it back or braid it and from the frontI look like I have short hair (good for business applications where it may be distracting). Feathering on top is quite effective and can be seen on many musicians from the 80's...AND NOWDAYS TOO (I hate that "oh, but that was the 80's" crap...hair is hair dude).
Trims depend on your hair, mine gets out of control on top about every 3 months or so. Tell the hair mechanic to "just even up the ends" or to "ONLY trim off what needs to be trimmed (damaged ends)". Be sure to let them know that you are trying to grow it out to an undetermined point. AVOID STYLISTS WITH REALLY SHORT HAIR! (use common sense).
My bangs get trimmed at about my eyebrows (wet) but if that is too short it does grow back and I can have it done longer/shorter next time.
Your view of your own hair is sometimes not so clear. Everyday you see yourself from the front but usually not from 360 degrees around like other people see you. Remember that from time to time and do what works for YOU.
You've identified the real issue: what mom wants, and your are pretty hooked on keeping her happy. This is a chance for you to begin making your way in your life. It doesn't have to be war with mom, but it is clear that you cannot live your life for her happiness. How to go about it? Stop cutting it and go through the awkward stage. Good luck! And good going. A lot of men don't get to this kind of self-awareness in 71 years, much less 17.
Robert