new thread
Good morning everyone!
there has been something that has been preying on my mind, and that has been bothering me a lot lately. The subject I would like to discuss, which is a bit off topic, but not totally, is the beauty of good manners both here on the hyperbaord, and in today's society as a whole, which makes me sad.
In my mind, there are few words more beautiful than the simple words "please", and especially "thank you". Some of you may call me an old fart for saying so, and others may call me old fashioned. But I was brought up in a simpler time, by two kind and loving parents, who taught me all about kindness, caring, and respect for one's fellow man. Among those things were acknowledging kindness shown to you by others, and that is where the words "thank you" comes to mind.
Lately, I have noticed, more and more people posting updates, getting lots of replies, and not saying so much as one word of thanks to anyone. Don't worry, I KNOW who you are, and I remember too! This has actually caused me to became less enthusiastic about the hyperboard than I used to be. In this society of cell phones, text messaging, Ipods, and being in a rush to get from point "A" to point "B", it seems the simple things in life are forgotten.
There are other folks, of course, those who are true ladies and gentlemen of the finest quality, who take the time to acknowledge everyone individually, and those people have my highest praise. However, I fully understand that all of you may not have the time to make individual replies, so a simple "thank you everyone!" post can mean a lot too! In between, there are those who only thank one or two people, and ignore everyone else! This can be even worse than not saying a word, since those who are ignored feel they are not good enough for those posting the update in the first place.
So I would like to make a simple suggestion to those posting updates. If you are taking the time to post an update, it takes NO longer than the time it took you to post it in the first place, after people have replied, to make a simple thank you, whether individually, or a one post fits all reply. Otherwise, how would the rest of us know that you even read our replies in the first place.
Thank you again, for listening,
David
Hello David
You are right , i'm totally agree with you, since i'm here is usually replied to all reply of my post and when i haven't done it, i have trues excuses.
and i really apreciate when people reply to my reply..
Cya
That was very eloquently stated, David. Let it be heard that Franny does *not* think you are an "old fart". Heaven forbid! ;)
My Hair Site
"...Franny does *not* think you are an "old fart"..."
Neither does White Tail:
David is not old enough, and he is much too polite to fart !!
Indubitably!
My Hair Site
I agree as well and as Franny said very eloquently stated.
Besides age is all in the head, the older I get the younger everyone else gets.
One doesn't have to be old to use common
sense manners. I know of some very young people who are very
good at acknowledging compliments.
Kevin
The board attracts a lot of young people, many of who are still developing their social skills. My suggestion for the younger members is to study the many excellent posts from adults who have mastered social interaction. In time, you'll do that too.
As Dave points out, the board's hierarchical layout makes it difficult to respond to many replies individually (a linear layout like LHC makes this easy). You can still create a single post that responds to all replies. That would really make a difference.
Ed
I couldn't agree more. There are certain members here who post frequent updates but NEVER say so much as one word of thanks. It's extremely rude.
...and thank you for stating it so eloquently. I too have noticed the lack of manners in society as a whole, and is it not just the young, but people of all ages. It take just a little more effort to be considerate of others
Bruce
I completely agree, David!! And interestingly enough, I've noticed a change for the worse even within MYSELF recently on this very topic...
When I first started getting very active w/ the hyperboard, I made it a regualr point to thank everyone individually. And rarely did I "slip up" in that department, as best as I can remember. As time rolled along, 2 things changed: one is that the hyperboard seemd to get WAAAY busier than I ever remembered happening at first; the other thing that happened was a change in my personal life, where my job changed, and I found I had less free time for visiting the hyperboard than I used to. Those combination of factors made me decide I needed to step down from moderating duties, because my intuition told me it did not feel good if I couldn't keep up with the level of activity w/ the board, by staying active myself (including keeping up w/ the extra time it takes to be courteous to all, --- especially if I posted an update).
I rarely post updates now, because I know I am often away from the board for several days at a time, sometimes even longer than a week or 2. Although I think it's certainly very acceptable to post a follow-up thread saying something like, "Thanks to all!", --- it doesn't give ME the same sense of satisfaction of saying thanks to people individually (let alone is as satisfying to the person I'm thanking)!
The simple art of saying "please" and "thank you" is VERY satisfying in and of itself, --- BOTH to the person expressing gratitude and appreciation, AND to the person recieving it! I try as best I can to practice it in my daily "real" life, as well as here on the board; but, I have to admit that modern life sometimes almost forces us to do the "rush job" thing, manners being unfortunately the first thing society is now leaving behind in its wake... That's still not a valid excuse for rudeness; but, sometimes it seems at least "understandable", --- in spite of me HATING every pressured munite of it!
EXCELLENT post David, --- and a huge, THANK *YOU*!!!!
My best to you!!
- Ken
I always read every reply, but usually, i tend to put off replying until its left the board.
Mainly because i dont know what to say, but i try
Hi Beanz,
I genuinely appreciate your honesty, and thank you for your reply!
Thank you again,
David
Hi David,
I'm also guilty of this. Quite often, I'll read the replies and say, 'I'll post a reply of thanks shortly' and then procrastination kicks in and I end up forgetting about it. Thanks for the wake-up call!
--Rick
Same here....I'm a big procrastonator, then I end up forgetting to be honest.... :ashamed:
I tend to be a procrastinator, and by the time I get ready to thank people I feel that my thread is near the bottom so no one will see it (I know not a good excuse) or it just falls off the board.
I would like to take time no to thank people (hope somebody reads this) for the advice I asked about the hair care in the swimming park, the egg in the hair topic I had and finally a thanks to all that replied to my 10 month update.
And thanks for your time reading this :-)
=J
This is my main problem too. It can take an hour for me to type 50 words. This is a reason why I don't reply to every posted update.
Scott
That I can defintely understand. Though I work in a call center as a customer care supervisor, I find in real life, dealing with friends and aquaintiences who I know, that I am very inept at speaking, and have even more trouble dealing with postive feedback, as unfortutely I grew up in a school where I was severly bullied and never really learned how to interact socially. Not to mention a sociophobia, which I still struggle with today and even have trouble responding to postivity from my own mother who has been nothing but supportive my whole life, so many times I see such wonderful replies to my posts and I just don't know what to say and am terrfied of sounding fake or awkward when I really mean sincerity.
Though, online forums such as this give me an excellect medium to practice on those skills and I will defintely be attempting to make more of an effort to be social around here since you all seem like a good group of people who are able to forgive social misgivings.
Hi Kett,
I really appreciate your honesty in explaining your situation, and THANK YOU! I now understand that you are doing the best you can.
My best to you,
David
Thank you for your understanding, and thank you for posting this topic, it provides brain candy that causes many of us to take a step back and analyze the important simple things in life many of us sometimes neglect in the rush-and-bustle this world tends to be at times.
Only mean _jealous_ girls would bully such a cutie as you. Fortunately, that type of thing seems to disappear when you lleave school, but you have a lot of (online) 'big brothers' now I'm sure (as in 'leave me alone or I'll get mu big brother')!
Thank you for your kind comment :)
I could go into a diatribe of how adults can be just as mean and spiteful of people because of thier appearence, but I am sure many of the men on this board have encountered such pettyness from shallow minded folks, so I shall digress.
If nothing else, it taught me to be a figher which I am thankful for, just those pesky social skills need to start catching up :P
Very well said, David, and I couldn't agree more!!
THANK YOU!!!
Randy
Well, I try and reply to all that answer my posts. But if My answers to their post aren't answered it's no big deal to me. I would rather be ignored by some one I like than noticed by some one I don't like. But that's just me. You made your point very elegantly though. Kudos
Good point David!
I tend to get two kinds of comments. One kind doesn't call to mind a response other than "thank you". The other kind also calls for my providing additional information. Sometimes more than one post will call for my providing the same information.
I tend to reply to the ones needing additional information (only doing so to one post if there are more than one needing the same information). Then my hope is to thank everyone as a group either in one of those posts or in a general post to the thread. Sometimes I do forget though, and I am sorry if I do.
This means of response I feel weighs the need for those who responded to get a thank you against the need for other users to not have the board cluttered up with lots of posts devoid of any content other than a thank you.
Thanking others can go to ridiculous extremes if one just wildly thanks everyone who replies to one's posts. If someone posts nothing other than "ROFL" when I've made a joke, for example, I don't really think everyone wants to read a post that says, "Thanks for laughing at my joke!" I think that a guy's appreciating his joke's getting a laugh can be presumed.
As with much in life, I feel "balance" when it comes to issuing thank yous is best.
Bill
According to your new rule, text message lingo is prohibited. One must avoid it for the sake of the non-native speakers of the English language. I think "ROFL" qualifies as text lingo! Shame on you!!!
(Laughing out loud)
-Cristobal
Read again; I blamed the dastardly deed on someone else! [grin] But ROFL is probably a well-enough-known abbreviation to slip by this part of the rule: "Avoid all but the most common abbreviations." ROFL also is common all over the Internet, not just in text messages. It is very frequently used by those who have never even seen a text message.
Bill
I must agree. I don't think the rule covers Internet abbreviations like ROTFLMAO, OTOH, AFAIK, IME, etc., just ones that are only used in texting. Some of us old farts don't do texting. For example, the only text messages I ever get are from my phone company, and those are pretty much plain language. About half of us are over 30, some way over 30, and we may not understand what it says.
Of course, I can understand that for the younger posters the line between textspeak and Internet lingo may be very blurry, but please try!
Many of the abbreviations go way back before text messaging, some of them as far back as telegraphy systems in the 1800s. Above is a page from a ham radio book I found in my basement, published in 1963. The point is that some abbreviations have far greater use than just among those who text message. I had to laugh at the note at the top of the page, though, about not abbreviating unnecessarily when working an operator of unknown experience. It is addressing exactly the problem we have this week addressed here!
The crew actually mentioned "ROFL" when making the rule, and said that would be okay since its use is widespread and is known by most people, not just those who text message.
Bill
FB, OM
UR SIGS RS 59
73 ES CUL
DE N3KIP, AKA G8VUK
K
Of course, that should be RST 599, LOL!
Not "LOL", but "HI"!
Like Morse code, this is a digital mode, so I suppose it does have a "tone". HI
I really should dust off that old code key and fire up the rig, but the Internet is so much EASIER!
TNX FER QSO
73 ES BCNU OM
N3KIP DE K9AT SK
I agree with you to the highest possible degree on this. The world would be a much nicer place if everyone wasn't addressing everyone else so condescendingly.
Thank you for being one of the only people i have ever met who holds manners in high regard :)
You describe, with SUCH erudition, a phenomenon not only noticeable on the board here, but in the greater society as a whole. I almost feel a total collapse in etiquette myself, as though an insidious death knell is creeping, like an invisible assassin, as though a poisonous gas, over mankind. Because of this perception, like in the brilliant prescient sci-fi classic by H.G. Wells, "The Time Machine", I fear that the human race might just veer off into two distinct races, one complacent, like the Eloi, and the other cannibalistic, as with the Morlocks, due to some pivotal catastrophic event.
BUT, rather than some Earth upheaval or much-dreaded nuclear exchange, I sense it to come from the slackening and final dissolution of human values. Argh! Someone wake me up from this nightmare!
You're among the last bastion of true kindness and warmth to your fellow man and woman. I mean this most sincerely, David. As a scientist in quality control yourself, I know this to be true. It pours forth from your very words . . .
Thank you for being you, kind sir, I'd just like to thank you. for being you.
Q.
Excellent input David. Its suggestions/topics such as this that further contribute to the overall great atmosphere of MLHH.
I would tend to agree that if one chooses not to reply individually to each response, at least one response thanking everyone collectively would be thoughtful.
I do not always reply to a topic from certain posters, either because I'm short on words or just in a bit of a rush on a particular day, but I always appreciate the creativity and points of view offered by everyone on board.
Peace,
Ryan
Thanks to the Romans for teaching us chivalry and how to take baths!....and how to build...and...well, you get the point
I don't think I'm guilty of this, but sorry if I've slipped up.
¢¾
Tristram
If I have the time I respond to each post but if not I usually give a general round of thanks. I always try to respond to questions though. However, to me at least, the general thanks signals an end of the conversation and stops more people from responding. So I often wait "too" long.
Hi everyone,
I really wanted to thank everyone who posted such beautiful and insightful comments, and many of you have said it in a far better way than I did in my original post. (Ken, you ALWAYS have a fantastic way with words!)
Remember, I fully understand that not everyone has the time to make individual replies, and a simple one post thank you is perfect under those circumstances. It is always the thought that counts, and this post was mainly directed at those who choose to sit back and say nothing, even days later.
Thank you again, everyone!
David
I agree David. The erosion of respect for each other and human life just abounds everywhere. It's a shame. Almost everything that people do to each other is a result of this lack of respect. I try to treat people the way I'd like to be treated; with respect. It doesn't take much; much less than people think, to be respectful of others.
--
Splat
I will nearly always post a reply to comments from others when I start a new thread.
I am guilty of not replying to all the update threads out there. There are an overwhelming number of them sometimes. It can take me an hour to type 50 words when I don't know what to say.
Scott
Hi David...
I understand what you mean.. Its great to post and then see replies come about... thats what this board is supposed to be about. -not always the case. Its ironic... I can name the same 15-20 people who I know absolutely will respond to an update I post.. and its been the same ones since I got here almost a year ago.
I'm glad you brought this to the forefront as it helps with the culture of the hyperboard.. Thanks David.
Tristan
I've got to be flippant for just a second...
Whenever I do an update, because I'm so damn fugly, I don't get so many responses, so it only takes a few minutes to respond to each of them. HA!
OK, and secondly, when I do make a post, I usually make some overly pedantic post of some story or historical eventuality that about two people give a crap about, again no biggy to respond to one or two folks!
I'm just trying to be funny, but I get where you are coming from. However, intimating that "people today" have declining manners or morals makes me laugh a little. Two thousand years ago, the Roman writers used to go on about "old time Roman virtue" and how things had just declined and were going to hell in a handbasket. To hear one generation tell it, the next coming along is the worst that's ever been. Maybe so, maybe not.
You stated your feelings in a most eloquent manner and made some good points. If we're going to be a community, we ought to act like it. If you get support, you give it. Your point is well taken in the context of the board. Thanks to you for maintaining that "old time Canadian virtue!"
I'm in one of those moods. Don't take my comments the wrong way, for that'd sure be a shame to take my playfulness as seriousness. I'm glad you made this post. Thanks and kudos to you, David.
Yours truly, Matt B.
"When I were a lad, we lived in shoebox in t'middle of t'road"
"That's nothing, when I were a lad, we lived in t'bottom of t'septic tank"
- Monty Python (t' meaning the in Yorkshire dialect)
La plus ca change, la plus c'est la meme chose
(Old French saying usually translated as "the more things change, the more they stay the same")
The rest of us can only hope that we can learn to be as polite as Canadians, eh?
You have a very good point, David. And it was so nicely stated. Most of these people are usually one hit wonders that have no real interest in long hair, they just come and go for an opinion. Others at times probably lack communication skills and decide it best not to say anything.
Ah yes, social and moral decay. It's always existed, to this extent? Maybe not, I don't know for sure, I'm just a toddler that was brought up with the doomed generation :-)
Take care Dave and don't get worked up over insignificant things. believe ME, it isn't worth it.
-cHRIS h
Hi David
I know this thread is starting to get pushed down a bit so I hope you do check back for more responses.What you stated does happen on occasion here but fortunately not all the time.If I post a new thread I do try and respond to each person especially if they have a follow up question.Sometimes like Ken stated this board has its days of heavy volume so threads start dropping like a rock.Then you wonder if people are bothering to read your post that has moved way down even after only a day.
As for the common courtesy issue unfortunately I see that almost daily here in New Jersey.I do love what this area has to offer for entertainment and such but make no mistake its a tough place to live as the lifestyle moves incredibly fast.Should you decide to visit this area on your road trip you will know exactly what I'm talking about.I mean the minute you walk out the door and get in your car the parties over.Courtesy of the road leaves a lot to be desired and it just sets up your day to be rotten to the core.I have a nice car but I hate to drive as there is no pleasure driving this area.When I travel south to other states and meet people there is a difference.
Well before I turn this into a novel I did take your thread to heart.You are too nice a guy to be snubbed by anyone.Take care my friend and thanks for the wake up call.Mark
Good morning again, everyone!
I just wanted to say how genuinely touched I was when reading all of your replies to my post, which goes to show that there are some truly fine people in this community. I apologize for not being to respond to every single comment, but you can be assured that I read every single one of your replies, and I hope most of my fellow members have had a chance to read all these wonderful comments too! Some of your replies are FAR better stated than my original post was to begin with!
Hopefully, good manners will prevail more and more, both here and out in the real world, and those to whom this post was directed will gradually learn the beauty of being kind to one's fellow man. Although there are always a few bad apples everywhere, they are few and far between, and hopefully, getting fewer as the days go by.
Thank you again, and my best to all of you,
David
(Also, to Mark (Hairball) I DID scroll down to read your beautifully written post. In fact, I now have travel plans for this fall in addition to next spring, when I drive down the east coast to the middle Atlantic states. Perhaps we can meet up sometime during my drive down the coast this fall!)
Hi David,
Well your post did give everyone a chance to look at themselves and their environment around them.Technology has certainly made life better for us but at a cost for sure.
As for your upcoming road trip it would be great to meet you when down in the area.Hopefully all the residents at the time will mind their Ps and Qs!LOL.Take care David.
Mark
I rarely start new threads, and never post hair updates, but I will bear what you say in mind, David.
Alun
yes,you are absolutely right Dave.There are just a lot of posters out there who don't even say a simple "thank you".fortunately though,there are a lot of members here that appreciate their pics being commented.I myself thank everyone everytime I post an update :)
im always very thankful when you comment on my updates it def means alot to me my friend! you always been a good man to me on this site and one of the few men who keep cheering me on to grow my hair even longer which means alot to me as well! you always got a friend in me David remember that!
Hello, David.
You are correct. Good manners are very important and I certainly hope that I have not offended anyone by not responding to a post that I should have responded too. I am gone a great deal and usually don't scroll to the bottom when I do get in.
Other than that, I do not post many updates, as I do not want to scare everyone off! haha!
jeffrey.