new thread
Hello..
The problem started when one of the university head staff asked me to enter his room, he told me:
There is nothing wrong in growing your hair but as you are living in middle east and in an islamic country this would be a problem for you to grow your hair.
skipping the pointless talk about how he help people he gave me three options:
1- To cut my hair or atlest trim it which for sure I wont do.
2- Hide it completly which I dont anyway to do that.
3- or wear a pony tail which I cant atm as my hair aint that long.
So im completly lost and I dont know what to do, I want to grow my hair long and in the same time I dont want to get out of the university as my family worked hard to get me in..
I hope someone can help me with this because im sure next time he meet me it wont be a good meeting.
Notice: Im sorry for the bad spelling and the typos.
I am not an expert on Islam you probably know more than me but as far as I was aware long hair on males is perfectly fine as long as you are not considered to be growing it to look feminine..
http://www.myislamweb.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-3520.html
That is the traditional view, and some Islamic web sites suggest growing facial hair to make it clear that "looking feminine" is not one's aim. Practice, though, varies from place to place, with regions experiencing overzealous religious fervor going overboard, as happens with any religion during such a mindset with its rules in general. In some of these places, they have harassed all longhairs, not just those who look feminine.
In some areas, along this line of reasoning, all men are required to grow beards.
Key is to find out what the rule is in your area. Numerous cases of violence being foisted upon those who don't conform to regional rules in Islamic areas make it prudent to either adhere to those rules or to move to another area.
As is commonly believed to be the case with Christianity's savior and Judaism's early prophets, Islam's prophet is reported to have had long hair during part of his life. Later rules made which run counter to that don't reflect what reality was on the ground. This calls into question the "100% divine inspiration" level which has been claimed for their writings, unless one can figure out how their writings may be being misconstrued.
In both Christianity and Islam, it turns out the underlying concerns are anti-transgender, and any rules that catch up modern day longhairs while on that mission just make us collateral damage. Neither religion's founding prophet said one negative word about longhaired men.
In a setting where there is verbal discourse and physical violence is not likely, pointing out that you are not trying to look feminine, and that is the actual religious prohibition, is the best tack to take. If you have grown a healthy beard, for them to think you look feminine would be absurd. This paragraph could be said to apply to both religions, Christian and Islamic.
When it comes to beards, by the way, a frequent Islamic interpretation is that it may not be cut until it sticks out below a fistful of hair. If you grow your beard that long, you can demonstrate Islamic compliance.
If someone in an Islamic country has a rule against beards as well as long hair, this puts them in a ridiculous position, since prohibition of beards is clearly un-Islamic. Pointing this out can make their reliance on Islam for their long hair rule to appear absurd.
I am not an expert on Islam but as far as I was aware long hair on males is perfectly fine as long as you are not considered to be growing it to look feminine..
http://www.myislamweb.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-3520.html
True there is nothing wrong in growing your hair long but men here been with short hair for a long time maybe from the 80s or less so being with long hair in these days may show that im acting like girls which is forbiden in Islam, ( I blame the short hair fashion waves which turned the table on us ).
Life is filled with compromises - at least you're getting options which many students don't get.
Hair gell (and spray) could get you through much of this phase, comb it back at the same time. You end up with a lot of junk in your hair that will be a pain but it can get you to the next stage.
Consider taking the option of covering it while in class and around the school - what options are available for you? Bandanas and caps are only the start of it. In the middle-east there are a lot of other common options too.
School is important (yes - I'm someone's father) and only lasts for a few years so a short-term compromise for long term gain should be worth it.
Just my - rather biased - opinion.
Good luck
AndrewB
I hate putting chemical things on my hair I just feel fake with them, and yeah caps looks like a good idea but im afraide he wont accept this..
The other options are kinda arabian which I hate because im persian.
Thank you for your words AndrewB, I just hope this will end with a happy ending..
Sometimes you have to make value judgments where none of the options is completely satisfactory to you.
First of all I would continue to look for alternatives available to stay at school and keep your hair.
If that is not possible, you have some decisions to make. Part of education is learning to make the proper decisions in life that have long lasting effects.
I cut my longish (shorter than what it is now) hair when I was in my early 20's. I was in the business world and had a family to support.
A full 30 years later I once again began growing my hair long. Now it has been 27 months since I have had a cut.
You have to determine what is best for you to do at this point in time. Can you go back later and get your education? Can you go to a different university?
If not, is it worth giving up your education to maintain your hair. I assume that one day you will have your own family; how do you plan to support them at that time?
Let us know what you decide.
Every word you just said is true but dude I cant destroy my dream for another, there must be something which can let me stay in the university and in the same time leting me to grow my hair long..
Several things:
1) The Prophet Mohammed was said himself to have long hair; further, he supposedly wore it in four locks somewhere between shoulder and midback length. It is not haram for men to have long hair as long as they are not trying to impersonate females.
2) I don't know what country you're in, but in some countries such as Saudi Arabia traditional clothing is still worn by many. Men typically wear the red checked scarf (called shumaq I think) with the black cords to keep it in place. Who'd know how long your hair was underneath? There are also all sorts of caps and hats you might investigate that would be acceptable to wear as your hair grows.
3) Even in Iran men have long hair. I have seen a good many pictures here and there with a guy with long hair. I saw a television program too with a young guy with hair long enough to tie back and also a guy with shaggy hair discussing Iranian literature.
4) As important as your education is, be careful with this situation. You can probably work through it, but remember how important an education is.
By the way, what country are you in?
Yeah, prophet Mohammed had long hair same as the rest of the men in that age and continue untill the 80s I think.
I live in Kingdom of bahrain which its next to Saudi Arabia, but I cant wear arabian cloths because Im persian and I hate to forsaken my own culture for another.
Yeah, there are alot of long hair men in iran even one of my friends there got long hair so its not that kind of problem for them as they got more freedom there then here.
Thats the problem dude, Im afraid they might do something to my university education im not afraide on my future as im a simple guy who got simple needs but being supported by my family I just cant let them down now..
And I thought the head staff are just targeting me but the rest of the semi-long hair guys got the same problem even one of them trimed his hair few weeks ago its kinda he lost couple of months of growing which I dont want to happen to me..
The Irony, 40% of the girls in the university with short hair even shorter then mine and wearing un islamic cloths but I dont see the staff talking to them or even adviceing them.
Your best bet is to investigate covering your head somehow.
Even though some Middle Eastern countries may be more forgiving on this you still have to deal with attitudes and they are no different in other parts of the world. Even Westernish countires like Egypt have a large conservative population and it's usually a their way or the highway attitude.
Good luck
Kevin
Yeah it look like the best option for me atm but im not sure how to cover all of my hair even if I put it in my shirt its short to stay inside..
I hope they will just gave up and live there life and let me live mine.
Thank you dude for your advice.
If your concerned about the hair coming out of your shirt or out from under a hat you might try and find a shower cap. You know the rubbery strectchy kind that will hold your hair up in place then put the hat on top of it or even a bandana or something acceptable.
It's odd but you only have to wear it at school. At least it's something to think about. It's funny they're so fussy in Bahrain as that's where Michael Jackson lived for a while after his fall from grace. They'll let weirdos like him in but won't let you grow your hair.
Kevin
What about a Buff? See a thread a lot lower down. I just got one myself and quite like it.
AndrewB
http://www.buffwear.co.uk