new thread
...did the length of ones hair determine how 'gay' he is?
This is so damn stereotypical. So while at school, there's this guy I know in 10th grade (I'm in 12th) and he's a pretty cool kid, although he's been telling me to cut my hair ever since I've known him and I still haven't cut my hair because I've been telling him I didn't want to cut it. I'll let it grow.
So, today I saw him in the morning and wanted to shake his hand, ask how he is, etc. when he just blurted out 'I don't shake hands with fags. Not unless you cut your hair'. Was that even called for? 'I'm a fag because I want to grow my hair out?' 'Yes' he said. 'You aren't growing your hair out, you're trying to look like a girl' (Which is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. I don't look like a girl. How often do you see a 'girl' with shoulder length hair and a freakin' mustache?!)
'Unless you grow an afro, then it's cool. But get rid of the long gay hair' (Not possible to grow an afro because I'm not black. Although he is black, if you're wondering).
At that point I said 'Okay then. YOU grow your damn afro.' 'I will. It takes time' he said. 'Grow it then. I don't really give a damn what you do to your own hair. I don't care, and you shouldn't care what I'm doing with my life and my appearance.'
Seriously, this guys turning into a ****ing ass. I want to greet him in the morning and he starts ranting about my hair? Screw him and every idiot in the world that goes the stereotypical route by having the nerve to call every long-haired guy a homosexual. Sure there are some homosexual long-haired guys, but I'm not one of them, and that remark just offended me.
That is all. If anyone has similar experiences, don't hesitate to post it.
I've never been called gay because of my hair but I have been called a girl plenty of times lol
I would just ignore the single-minded imbecilic prick ;)
Cheers
This guy in your school is an idiot. He's pitifully insecure, conforming and his reasoning utterly absurd. Don't spend a second worrying about what he thinks. You'll just be wasting your time on utter stupidity. At the very least hope that he, one day, looks back at his attitude and cringes with embarrassment.
I've been called a girl a few times (although there arent many 6'6 girls), but calling someone a fag because of their hair is WAY out of line. Ya, it would probably be best not to even bother with this guy anymore, people like that arent even worth trying to be nice to.
I know I am being mean but...
With that kind of mentality I wonder how this kid ever got to the 10th grade... Oh well...
It seems kids in that age have run out of good insults resulting in everything being "gay" or "queer".
This kid sounds like nothing more than a punk who doesn't have anything better to do. You should simply ignore his stupid ignorance because eventually he'll see he's not "getting to you" and give up. No reason a proud longhair should take crap from a sophomore. Highschool is a difficult time to have long hair because high school kids are so friggin uptight about "trends" and Abercrombie & Fitch and the "Duck-Anus" haircut (buzz cut where they push the front area up forming a similar appearance to a cartoon duck's rear end). Don't let him get to you man, he's a loser; we're behind you brother!
-Phil
HAHAHAAHAHHAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAA...
Whew.
Thanks, Phil. :)
Ask him how many gay guys he's actually met. I know there are a few on here, but in general, most gay guys have very short hair, often military cuts, about the same proportion as in the hetero community, maybe less, so he should maybe start getting his facts right before coming out with comments like that.
He sounds like the type of guy who likes to big himself up by putting other people down. Is he worth wasting time on?
Todd
Why not take the joy out of this guys life and from now on have nothing to do with him? It is obivious that he loves downing you. Let him find someone else instead of going out of your way so as to play right into his "trap."
First, I'd say you don't know what the anti-longhair slurs are yet. And second, I'd say that you don't know how to deal with bigots who throw slurs your way....
The common anti-longhair slurs are:
1. Get a haircut!
2. You look like a girl!
3. You look gay!
These are the same as the "n-word" for us. They are what gets yelled at us from pickup trucks. They merit just as strong a response as do slur words thrown at any other group.
If you encounter a bigot, you have these choices when it comes to your reaction:
1. You can ignore him altogether.
2. You can slur him back.
3. You can try to reason with him.
4. You can respond with physical violence.
Almost all of the older guys here (and a majority of the younger ones) through experience have learned that the best response is to ignore bigots unless they lay a hand on you, in which case you are then entitled to, and best off to, use physical force to protect yourself.
Reasoning with a bigot, which is what you tried, seldom works. Bigotry in itself is unreasonable, so the bigot is probably beyond reasoning with already.
You said the guy was black. You'd think if anyone would be sensitive to slurring others it would be black people, but as said, bigots are beyond reason. There's a word that starts with N that you could have thrown back at him, but that would have just lowered you to his level. You want to take the higher ground here, not wrestle with him down in the gutter. Remember, when you wrestle with a pig, you both get muddy but the pig enjoys it.
You could have responded physically. This is the "them's fightin' words!" response. That too, though, will bring you both down to be wrestling in the gutter.
So what that leaves is "ignoring him altogether". That may at first seem like a wimpy copout, but it is not. Nothing is more offensive to someone than to ignore him altogether. This trumps calling him the N word and it trumps punching him out. This tells him that he is not even worth a moment of your time.
Manners mavens such as Miss Manners, Dear Abby, and Ann Landers have in their columns and books advocated the cold stare as the appropriate response to inappropriate remarks. You should add that to your arsenal.
Dealing with this stuff is discussed further at the link.
Bill
I think you need a new friend. This guy is is dumber than dirt.
I've noticed him do that to other people aswell. The guy gets in trouble a lot, even going as far as wanting to pick a fist fight with his teachers. He used to be a decent kid over the last 6 months I have known him and what started out as a friendly suggestion to cut my hair (which I didn't agree on) has gone on for far too long. He's been pestering me, wanting me to cut my hair but it didn't bother me. Now it's gone too far when he made some foolish remarks about me.
LOL. I don't like that style, but I admit...there are a lot of guys I know who have stuck with that style for the past 5 or so years.
I'd keep a close eye on this guy, if I were you. It sounds like his ill-behavior has been escalating, and he just might be one of those evil bastards who takes it upon himself to try physically altering your hair (i.e., takes the scissors to ya) when you aren't looking.
You might also want to see if your school administrators are willing to do something about his harrassing behavior.
I strongly urge you to read Bill's excerpt from "On Being a Longhair," which he referenced below.
Finally, if this guy does decide to get physical about this in any way, let him have it, hard.
--Val
Maybe consider the fact that he wouldn't want to associate with you if you were gay...What a friend huh?
My grandmother says: Never wrestle with a pig because it gets you dirty and the pig enjoys it.
I think she's right.
He's an idiot. I'd avoid any contact with him.
And since when is an afro any better? Long hair is long hair. Ugh.
I prefer long 'hair' over an afro any day! This guy is clearly a bigot and seems to have resentment towards other peoples cultures. Don't waste your time trying to reason with this animal. If he continues to harass and shout slurs at you, give him a taste of his own medicine. Shout the N-word right at his face with all of your might. Be careful though, you might make the 6 O' clock news and have the NAACP protesting right at your front door. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAH
The "N" word eh? That would nagger? ( I love South Park).
South Park " Nagger Wheel of Fortune"
N_GGERS
"People who annoy you"
HAHAHAH. I love that episode! South park rocks!
I know. I like the new one where Kenny gets high off of cat piss ("cheesing" as its called)
i don't think most gay men are attracted to feminine-looking men :) if so,they would simply go out with women LOL
OH, and i'd like to ask that friend of yours what he thinks about tarzan,conan,he-man and any other longhaired superheroes...XD
jealousy.thats what this crap is all about. (sorry for the ranting,i couldn't stop myself)
He's 15 or 16. I was far, far from mature at 16. I like to think of myself as mature now (I'm 18 now - I've changed a lot since then), but I probably have a long way to go.
But the best thing you can do is just avoid him. Some people have a very thick skull and won't accept other people for who they are. Be yourself and don't worry about what others think. People who attack others for petty reasons such as that are the ones with issues.
-James
I've never been called gay for having long hair. Usually I only get called a hippy by family and a girl by my friend who oddly enough has even longer hair than me...
I suggest not listening to that turd kid who called you gay, he's only in the 10th grade so what the hell would he know about anything.
Don't listen to them, and no, speaking from the place of an older person, experience has shown me that your real friends don't do stuff like that to you...
just tell him your girl LOVES long hair, and you'd be stupid to cut it. Every guy understands that.
Don't conform!!!! We have enough conformists.
You're dealing with one of the oldest human frailities in the book, that 'ole green eyed monster, jealosy. He can't have what you've got so, he'll persistently vex you about it. Your time is probably better spent reading a good book (check out One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia or Ender's Game by O.S. Card for instance,) and it's easy enough to be nice to someone else who will return the courtesy, cut your losses with this dude and move on.
Thanks, guys. I'm not too worried about it, but it was just so offensive and so sudden. This is the first time I have ever been discriminated about my hair length. Of course, I also get weird looks by other people due to my hair, but it doesn't really matter. :P
He's just jealous that he won't ever have hair as long and healthy as yours.
I would say dont get yourself in the situation were you can be rejected by somone like that.
Hey Emagdne, just give the jerk a stare and say "get a life!" Then walk away and don't turn back even as he's sure to be saying something in response.
Keep strong and think of this as strength and character building for you!
Cheers,
Max
If you absolutely have to respond to this woefully immature idiot....
Not that I'm gay, but what if I was? Gotta problem with that???
I'll get my hair cut when you get brain surgery to fix your intolerant and bigoted attitude.
'Nuff said!
Carol
this guy is a real life troll just like the internet type they only say things to get a reaction. ignore the prick.
if what he says is true im one of the most gayest guys on this board.
There are always be ignorant people who want you to conform. Some people call them fascists. Some call them TRepublicans.
I get the "Can't tell if you are a boy or girl" comment every now and then. It used to bother me, until I realized that it exclusively came from older short haired men, very distinctly not my target audience, and what I got from women was more positive. So my stock response now is "I'm glad you aren't my target audience, luckily women have no problem telling that I'm a boy."
And from gay men, I sometimes get "I know you're not gay, but omigod you have beautiful hair"...what can you say but "Thank you!"
Just an observation, but after having been to sevral predomanitly gay areas, I've noticed that most gay men have very short hair....food for thought.....