new thread
Howdy people...
About 5 months ago I was questioning on what women think of longhairs on a guy. Because there was some negativity on the forum (questions similar to mine about guys who were overly concerned about the opposite gender) and because of the myth '90% of women are turned off by men with longhair' I did the unthinkable and became a shorthair in one day after 13 months of growing it out.
I only did this because I was single and frustrated because I couldn't find a partner. Heres the thing... when I got my haircut I thought I was immediately going to have a Brad Pitt effect on women..
Unfortunately women didn't immediately lineup infront of my apartment waiting for me to come outside to ambush me after I had my haircut... the circumstances were exactly the same when I had shorthair.
I posted pictures with me shorthair v's longhair on yahoo infront of the female audience.. 60% of them preferred shorthair which was well off the expected 90% of women who prefer shorthair. So you can toss the 90% myth out the window.. providing you look after your hair of course :)
I think one of the things us guys need to understand is women and men are not the same in the way they judge a potential partner. As guys we seem to fall in love when our eyes see something we like... you only need to pickup a mens magazine which is filled with glossy cars and attractive women to confirm this (mens magazines are full of nonstop eye candy). A womans magazine on the other hand is full of emotional issues LOL. Women fall in love with a guy not because of his appearance BUT by the way he can make her FEEL.
Confidence is always a key factor.. because without it you cannot charm up women therefore you create no feelings in them because you are either:
a) too scared to communicate with them or
b) afraid to be yourself
c) all of the above
The most effective way to build confidence is to achieve what you want to become. If you feel good with longhair by all means go for it... a confident guy with shorthair is equally.. (almost equally lol) as attractive as a guy with longhair...
ALTHOUGH I should emphasise you are much more likely to attract unique non conforming women as a longhair. Would you prefer an ordinary chick just like everyone else? or would you prefer someone extraodinary??
I choose extraodinary women in a heartbeat..
So that is my rant... if anyone is considering cutting their hair or even has a slight thought better read from someone who has sold out and regretted it. Shorthair does suit me but I love showing the world I am an individual.. few techniques are more effective to show the world you are not a conformer than growing your hair out.
Peace
You are absolutely right mate. Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Johny Depp... all of those have had long hair in some movie, and all of them drowns in women wanting them.
Long hair is only a problem if you believe it to be.
A lot of people out there follow the trend of fashion because it's pushed in the media big style. If it's any woman you want there are plenty around and you can play the game and be the same. Or you can be yourself. And by being yourself you'll eventually find one or more members of the opposite sex who are similar to you. They are out there.
Put it this way. I'm a female and guys like me. But if twenty men walk past me in the street, 9 times out of 10 I dont even notice them. But if twenty men walk past me in the street and 1 of them has long hair or a beard, he's the one I notice. We all have things that we physically like about the opposite sex, some people like blondes, red heads, long legs, nice bits (you get the picture) and we are all different and we are all attracted to different people or looks.
Personally I like hairy men but it doesnt stop there. Even if a bloke is everything in looks, the personality can let him down. There is always more and personality is the key. If you try to be something you're not you'll fail miserably.
And the woman who probably would go for you wont go for you if you're trying to pick up 'women' in general. We're very fickle and we dont like being second choice.
So if you choose to follow a fashion because 'women' like something (who are these women anyway?) then remember you're also throwing away the 'women' who would go for you as you are. So what 'women' do you want? Think about it.
And as I'm thinking my minds drifting off... Johny Depp... dark hair, dark eyes, charming, witty, sense of humour, wicked.... hmmmmmm A bit different and not afraid to be himself. Now that's attractive to all 'women'....
sorry did I say something.. was off on another planet there...
lol
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I agree with everything you're saying. Do you want the woman who wants you to look like the herd, or do you want a woman who wants the real you? If you're a longhair at heart, then *that's* the real you.
Be who you are, and yes, you'll find the extraordinary woman.
You have written a brilliant little piece and have learned an invaluable lesson at the same time. This is great. Thanks for posting this. I hope everyone who cuts his hair for this reason or the other can read it. I've always beleived that one can't live long enough to make all the mistakes and learn from them; better to learn from some examples and spare one's self the anguish.
I'm glad you're growing back your hair. Can't wait to see some updates.
Matt B.
You are exactly right on so many different levels! Glad to hear you learned something by this and maybe you'll be able to grow your hair long again with this education under your belt! For long hair to fit someone they must want it, love it and not be self-concious about it! I've dated many women that didn't like my hair because they were JEALOUS about it, not that they didn't like long hair.. it's all about personality! If you like and want long hair.. let it grow, be a lifer! lol
Good Luck,
Tom
Myspace
I thought a "lifer" was somone serving a life sentance in prison?
what did you mean when you said "be a lifer"?
The term "lifer" refers to anyone intending to do or be a certain thing for the rest of his or her life. This could be a job, a hobby, a prison sentence, a vow, long hair... whatever.
--Val
Meaning to devote your life to something be it long hair or the military.. I was referring to long hair. If you hung out in Army circles the term "lifer" would be someone who plans to stay in till retirement. It's a generic term not associated with any one thing in particular.
Tom
Beautifully stated, Ryan. This is an important message: A person will NEVER become happier by pretending to be something they're not. Be yourself, and fate will fill your life with the right people at the right times, who appreciate your uniqueness, who value you for who and what you genuinely are.
--Val
Hi Ryan..
I truly hate to hear that you cut your hair ... you had a great start there. But, as others have already stated, "you've learned something huge from this" ... these lessons are always the most difficult to learn when you're the one going through them though ...
Take care and hope to see you on the growth trail again..
Peace..
Tristan
From a woman's perspective I think long hair is the most attrative thing on a man,not only is athesticly pleasing but it has some history behind it.
You should never change whom you are for anyone or anything.
I have felt that I should lose weight in order to find a potential mate but honestly,there is someone for everyone,and I know that in time i will find the right person for me.
It just takes time,patience and being in the right circumstances.
I know sometimes we feel that we need to change ourselves in order for others to be happy with us when we truly are the ones whom should feel happy with ourselves.
I'm glad looking back you realize that being true to your self is the most important,rewarding thing a person can do.
.
See what happens when you try to be something your not! Be who YOU are and forget changing to please others. And I promise. If I ever get my hair cut, I wont post about it here.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Lord Polonius in Hamlet, Act 1, Scene III
William Shakespeare
Well cutting your hair for such a reason does not always mean that you will be a better catch for some of the ladies. There are quite a few ladies that post and read here who are supportive with men with longhair and very positive.
Cheers,
John.B
A very good post, you've learned something from this, hope other people who read this can also learn something instead of making the same mistake.
Well now you know. Hopefully the girl meant for you will show up soon and like you for you.
This was a good example for future posters with a similar problem.
Kevin
That was a Great motivational speech , makes me more confident. Thanks for that!
Wow! that is so true. it should help in your path of realizing whats most important in life is not trying to change or conform yourself to make women like you but to just be yourself as best you can and you will find that the perfect match.
personally, i love it and military short hair's a dealbreaker for me.
not that it's everything obviously
i like when a guy is more shy about his interest b/c it proves "charming up" a woman isn't just a game...confidence yes, but deliberate charming (as a verb) freaks me out.
personally exactly why i love longhairs; they tend to be more romantic, sensual, artistic, musical, intelligent, and fun, not to mention they can think for themselves which 90 percent of the pop does not.
most men aren't really ready for a non-conformist woman, but ESPECIALLY not shorthairs from my personal experience.
there's a name for a "hair fetishist," but i can't recall it right now--tho most women don't focus on their partner's hair to the extent of a true (sexual) fetish--meaning that they are sexually attracted TO the hair in and of itself, not just as part of the person.
i myself feel literally creeped out by military shorthaired guys. too harsh. too much testerone.