new thread
Hi All You Hairy People!
The topic of being labeled a, "Rebel", simply because of our outward appearance including some very long protein strands has always fascinated me...
The fact remains that in today's society, in order to successfully become a male with long hair, there comes a point in time when, for the most part, we HAVE TO become a bit rebellious... In order to accomplish the goal, we have to be willing to stand our ground, --- it's as simple as that! The odd part is that, if you really think long and hard about it, we really shouldn't "have to!"
Women rarely have to "stand their ground" in order to grow out their hair, because the vast majority of human society traditionally accepts long hair on women. But, when it comes to men having their hair long, most of society (at least in what is called, "Western Society") has traditionally disapproved beyond a certain length. WHY?? Well, I have my theories; but, rather than getting into discussing those, let's just say that men have the same physical ability to naturally grow their own protein strands just as easily and just as much as their feminine friends... Why do I want to have my hair long? "Because I can!" is reason enough for me. But, there are other more solid reasons, like: "Because i LIKE it long!!!"
"Why do you like yogurt?" Why would anyone ever want to take a vacation to Tahiti?" "Why do you like to go snow-boarding?" Why do you go out to meet people at Swing dances?" "Why would anyone want to spend an entire weekend back-packing in the mountains?"
The above are all perfectly STUPID questions!!!! ... And, so is the question, "Why do you want to grow your hair out?" BECAUSE I *WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Take a perfectly nice, quiet, basically shy and cooperative "goody 2-shoes" type little kid (ME, --- or, at least how everyone around me used to view me when I was much younger)... Then, deprive me of a very simple little request in life (like the desire to grow my hair out longer than my ex-military dad would allow)... And then keep denying me that right for years, until I become age 18 and leave home to strike out on my own (plus, add a divorce, abusive treatment, and a dysfunctional atmosphere in the home for additional emotional impact)... And, then what do you get?? The perfect recipe for Rebel Soup!
The sad part is that many well-meaning friends, family members, and co-workers alike, once they start seeing your hair physically change from the clean-cut, neat & tidy look that they've been used to seeing on you for YEARS; to the shaggy, "OMG, he's looking like a hippie!" look that you have to go through during the awkward stages of growth... And then suddenly most of your friends and family (and/or boss or co-workers) start worrying that they are "losing" you, --- that you will turn into a rough, tough, mean, drug-using, motorcycle-riding, loud guitar-paying, unemployed beach bum who will no longer take baths or brush your teeth at night LONGHAIRED MACHINE (there... did I cover all the stereotypes? - lol)!!
It's no wonder we have our moment of being considered a, "Rebel" under the sun!! But, believe me, in order to get the hair length I've got today, I've had to bark (and bark LOUDLY) at a few people that I thought were SUPPOSED to be my "supportive friends"...
If it weren't for the fact that long hair feels completely natural to those of us who identify so strongly with it, my guess is that many of us would have rather NOT had to fight for the simple right to do with our own body what pleases us to see on top of our own heads!
Regardless of whether a longhair is gay or strait, young or old, bald or sporting a full head of hair, --- and regardless of race, color, religious background, or national origin, etc.... even a longhair with the most benign of supportive situations still has to have the inner strength to stand up to bigotry and misunderstanding against the length of male long hair, --- in order to successfully keep that head of hair long for any length of time, at least...
Your thoughts? Thanks in advance to all who decide to reply, in case I get behind in responding to your comments individually.
- Ken in San Francisco
Not much else to say except that this is a great post, and I always enjoy reading your posts!! :)
Good Grief Ken, aren't we feeling are Wheaties this morning !?? HA!
Actually, that was a great post, but I think I will disagree a bit as the times have changed. I do not think male long hair is a symbol of rebellion as it once was, but rather just a desire by men to have variety in their lives....We not only see men of all ages wearing their hair long(er) but also a more casual, relaxed type of clothing, artful tattoos and jewelry. Men also have ventured outside of the traditional "male" fields of employment.
Having said that, those of us who are challenged about our decisions may tend to be strong-willed about our right to express individuality. I have been hanging around this forum for some time with my own experiences; my observations are that most of us with a few years on us, with established families, careers and community involvements are not given any serious grief over their physical presentation. The younger guys are being put into the "hippie" stereotype with misconceived connotations by parents, teachers and potential employers (mostly for entry level jobs).
What is a constant fascination to me is how this community (MLHH) has evolved into a support group to offer advise on how to handle society's challenges in a mature manner.
Thanks for the use of the soapbox (apologies to all for the caffeine inspired reply ! HA!
Walter
I'd agree with Walter that times for longhairs have gotten better. In the mid to late 1990s, there were very few of us, and discrimination was at its peak. We never saw longhairs on television then except in old shows, or in roles where they were bad guys. And you NEVER saw one in a COMMERCIAL!
This began to change around 2002. We began to see longhaired male models in clothing ads, and we began to appear in normal roles on television again. Now there are a lot of longhairs around, and we don't make the splash we did ten years ago.
I'd also agree with Walter that older guys have never caught the crap that younger guys get. First, most arguments over hair length are power struggles, and old guys, like women, are not seen in the primeval human mind as a physical threat. And second, old guys in the village are valued for their experience and as such are respected - everyone knows such a guy won't listen to what others think about his hair length anyway, so they don't bother to express it.
Bill
"...old guys in the village are valued for their experience and as such are respected - everyone knows such a guy won't listen to what others think..."
Three cheers for we old guys ! HA! (grin)
Great post Ken!
Would you like to elaborate a bit more on your theories of why hair past a certain length is "undesirable" on men? I myself have still not discovered any reason at all... I just know that people don't like it!
Cheers,
Peter
Hi,
My opinion about it is that people (Oh, it's easy to use the world "people" to criticize ! :) sorry) found it simply ridiculous ! In my case that's it : two kind of people : those who found my hair fantastic and those who found it almost ridiculous because "too long". Yes, ridiculous I think...
Ken, I think I will respond when I'll have more time to think :)
Bye
Vivien
I have several different thoughts that combine to make one whole. These aren't MY views, but what I think society "sheeple" are thinking. Make sense?
1) Other posts on this forum have pointed out that in some cultures the ruling classes had longer hair for the men, but slaves/servants and prisoners were shorn, a sign of submission to authority. Extending that, one could infer that a short-haired person was "safe", wouldn't rock the boat. That inference carries through to current culture.
2) Many jobs that would be classified as "men's work" require either short hair or keeping the hair contained -- police, fire fighting, military, even manual labor. Loose long hair will get in your eyes. For police and military, long hair is something an opponent can grab onto. Long hair and fire are not friends. Long hair can get caught in machinery. Add in that if you work hard enough to work up a sweat you need to wash it more, that takes time. So, it's an impression that someone who has short hair has a job, someone with long hair doesn't, or at least it's not a "real" job, a steady one.
3) To combine those two, the military, at least in the US, requires short hair, for both the practical reason, and for the uniformity/conformity/submission to authority reason. A lot of women have a "man in uniform" fetish, I'm not sure what the deal is, I don't have it. But it's almost expected, so, men wanting to win fair maiden think they need short hair.
All in all, short hair has become a sign that a man is predictable, dependable, "acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable". Err, sorry, I started channeling Supertramp. But you get the point. There are times when being innovative and a rugged individualist are desirable, but for quite some time society has been wanting safety, preferring the known to adventure.
Ergo, "logic" says that long hair on a man means he's mad, bad, and dangerous to know. But think how many times a conman has swindled people and victims say that they trusted him because he looked like a "nice, clean-cut young man."
I agree, that's probably the underlying psychology behind the dislike for hair. People in managerial positions, by and large, want control (or else they wouldn't be there). "Power does not corrupt, corrupt people seek power", hence most of these managers, having gained their positions of authority, will want to flex their authoritarian muscles by imposing their prejudices. I reckon a lot of this comes from the general abuse parents usually infer upon their kids. A great (and short) book I read not two days ago is online for free at this link. It doesn't discuss hair in particular, but the whole control and manipulation mentality. Actually, you might want to check out some other stuff by Stef.
http://www.box.net/encoded/14566694/150701624/c717c273ea73cd4117aba7982c99e606
Bingo! Using a bit of sense shows us that the most likely to be a conman or criminal that abuses trust will be one who does his best to fit society's steoreotypes. Hollywood movies have gone out of their way to make criminals seem unruly, when in reality people should go by the motto that "There are daggers in men's smiles." Always be wary of people with too much charisma, as they are liable to mis-use it.
On Truth: The Tyranny of Illusion
The want for long hair, the need to be different. Does one like long hair and grow it to be different or simply grow it because of their love for long hair? A man that grows his hair to be different is more likely to succeed as there is some "rebel" in him vs. the man who just really likes long hair and aspires to grow it for that reason is bound to "hear" any negativity towards his goal and would be more prone to caving in to "peer pressure".. I personally am a "rebel" and won't conform to the "norm".. Hence being self-employed in the body piercing industry.. What does annoy the crap out of me is society's ability to dictate that a man keep his hair short for work related saftey issues and then allow women to have long hair in the SAME field! I dont' have to deal with that any longer but I hate seeing it all the time.. It would be more tolerable to me if "people" would just be honest about their issues with men and long hair.. But then again I guess that's like asking a polititian to anwswer a "yes or no" question...
What a great, great post Ken!!
You know me with my background can easily agree 100% with the points you're making. I had to grit my teeth and fight off a lot to get my long hair so I suppose that does make me a rebel.
I hope eventually human society will fully mature and accept us all for how we are.
I just finished reading all of your responses, --- thank you very much for your insightful and diverse thoughts! It's still the wee early hours of Tues. morning here out West; but, if I wasn't so tired and wanting to go back to bed to catch some more Zzzzzzzz's right now, I'd comment to everyone individually... But, being as I'm on the old and geezerly side (lol), this aging hairy rebel has just enough energy to protest his butt back into bed now (lol)!!
Thanks again!
- Ken