new thread
Well, now it's finally happening to me. The disciplinarian at my school is forcing me to get a haircut. My hair is only down to about the tip of my nose, and he wants me to cut it to a level above my eyebrows. That's about 3 inches of hair I'm gonna have to lose which is like 6 months of growth down the drain. And the thing that makes it worse is that the disciplinarian and I used to be pretty cool with each other, and now he's being an asshole about my hair even though I'm a senior with only few months left before I graduate. I can't really fight this either because the rulebook clearly states that the disciplinarian is the final authority on everything, which basically means that he can do whatever he wants. I go to a private school, so if I don't get it cut they can just expel me, and that would really suck since I've spent all of my high school years there and I'm so close to finishing. My mom isn't on my side either; she wants me to just do what I'm told and be screwed by my school yet again (they have done some very unreasonable things to me before). It doesn't look too good for me, and I can't think of any way to stop this. I'll let you guys know how it turns out I guess. Later. :(
Well, maybe it's best to just get it done now and when you graduate in a few months then start growing it without these people forcing their opinions on you. Bangs grow pretty fast and you have a long life ahead.
hey heres my advice to you (pardon the language but anything less wouldnt get the message across quite as well,)F*CK EM! who cares, you have a few months of school left. o sure he can expel you for having hair down to your nose, just dont let him see that its that long. slick it back maybe, or wear a hat.(if your school makes you cut your hair than tey prolly wont let you wear a hat.) I want to ask you though, what kind of crazy private school do you go to man? seriously take a step back and look at the whole picture, your school is gonna expel you if you dont cut your hair. honestly man, high school is supposed to prepar you for the real world, and granted not everyone likes long hair on men, i dont think this disciplinarian guy is teaching you anything except how to be an uptight nazi. If i were you (and i bet your glad im not) than when he made me cut my hair, id shave it into a nice mohawk and die it pink or green or something, just despite him. my advice to you, next time you see your disciplinarian, explain to him you have a few months left, and tell him about "your crazy friend"(make somebody up, hell never know) and about his wild hair cut, and tattoos, etc. and explain to him that it could be much worse. im assuming youve been a generally good kid throughout school, so dont forget to remind him of that, and if all else fails there is the last desperate "my parents pay your salary..."
keep us posted on your situation, it interests me.
It's very bad, that they can do this to you ! :( I can't understand it at all, why they want you to cut your hair !?
Jeremy, I understand it loudly. It is a power play. As the graduation season approaches, if this year is like previous ones, we'll see an upswing in this aggressive activity. They realize they will soon not have control over you (a loss of power) so suddenly what was okay in the fall is not okay in the spring, and certainly not in May. If they can get you to cut your hair they can extend their power over you for months (and in the case of men with longer hair, years), because on June first you can't just get your hair back.
This has been going on for millennia when one tribe would overrun another - even when you escape you will be a man marked with the shame of submitting to their aggression for months or years. Don't be surprised when the media gets access to the men at Guantanamo to find the government has been chopping hair off of them - even if a man is determined to be innocent and released, he will carry the stench of having been pissed on for a long time, and on this fire hydrant, everyone will know which dog did the pissing. That is the aggressor's intent.
If your hair was okay last week, then shouldn't it be okay next week, and on graduation day if you keep it the same length it is now? If the issue was just its appearance, of course it should be. However, that is not what you've been asked. Your aggressor wants to change your appearance, and he'll take pleasure and feel power from the fact that everyone will know who whipped you if you let it happen. He will also keep at it until the moment you escape. He knows you're a short-timer, so his power is slipping, and this will make him behave even more frantically.
As is the situation in Cuba, this man already has a lot of power over you. You have not been restrained, hooded, and hogtied, so you do have the power to make the final decision, but you could stand to lose a lot if you fought him on this. Each man must weigh the importance and benefits of the carrots one's aggressor offers against the detriment to him that the shame of submitting brings, and make his own choice. Choose what in the long run will bring the most power to you. Making the choice with that being the goal will make you feel empowered within.
You have the choices to ignore/defy, to negotiate, or to leave. If you choose to negotiate, going to the table realizing the only issue upon it is "power" will give you the strongest hand.
Good luck with the course you choose to follow.
And that might explain the Taliban letting friends grow their hair long, but they won't allow others to grow it.
If your folks were on your side, you'd have some way of stopping this (private or not, schools can be sued for espelling you on unreasonable grounds.) As it stands, sorry fella but you'll probably just have to get that hair cut a little.
Listen, soon this guy will be out of your life forever. You are young, have a full life ahead of you and can then do as you please. This guy has nothing to look forward to except a few more years of trying to enforce petty rules on kids who think he's a moron.
I expect he has a small dick as well. You might care to mention that to him on the day you graduate.
Saul
Spoken like a true GhostBuster. Yes, it's about time that we get rid of the ghosts of archaic dress codes!
A.: :Yes, it's about time that we get rid of the ghosts of archaic dress codes!
Same with the DRACULAN prison regulations!
LongHairedMan: : I agree!!! Just when I thought it would be easier for a boy or a man to have long hair in school or at work in the 21st century with our freedom of expression rights and equity being a two way street, there still are Adolf Hitlers and Hitlerettes that have outdated thinking. The band Lynard Skynard was named after a principal who gave band members hell in high school for having long hair. They ended up quitting school and became a great southern rock band. To deny a education to a guy for having long hair is NOT RIGHT!!! Educators are to educate the mind, not impose outdated hair length dress codes on guys because of their sex.
Now, don't you think that those "punishment haircuts" are archaic?
I think you should stand up for what's right. You are capable of independent thought, so prove it. They wont expell you but will likely suspend you. When they do march straight to the newspaper and tell them what happened. They love stuff like this. In fact, their suspension will likely be directly in contradicion to whatever the week is dedicated to......For instance, I chose to get suspended for writing a school newspaper during freedom to read week....I ended up on This Hour has 22 minutes and getting a lot better of an education than I'd hae gotten by putting my head down and my ass up.
If you bend over and take it from him, wouldn't it be ironic to tell him that he's the one with the something small?
Does he let girls have short hair? If so then maybe ask him why he allows them to have short hair and you not to have long hair. The easiest way out of this as has been said before is through your parents but if they're not on your side then theres not much you can do :(
Jeremy, I'm with you on this one. I have never understood parents, teachers, coaches, whoever, making boys'/men's hairlength an issue. However, while the school and its disciplinarian will be gone from your life in just a few short months; being expelled (for any reason) and not graduating high school will never be gone from your life. Right now the cost (three inches of hairlength) may seem high, but the long range benefit (high school diploma)is, I think, worth the price this time. Graduate, turn 18 and then be your own person!
In response to headbanger, I have tried to make it appear neat. I part it in the middle and comb each side more toward the back. Problem is this guy comes up to me and pulls my hair down to see how long it is. Yep, you're right; we can't wear hats or anything else that's not part of the uniform for that matter. In response to what kind of private school it is, it is a Catholic school run by Jesuits. I agree, it does a very poor job at preparing us for the real world and the administration is a very prejudiced group with many nazi-like ideas. However, my school has an extraordinarily good reputation, and to get a diploma there makes chances of landing a good job very high. So you can see why it would suck that I spent 4 and a half years there only to not get that diploma. I am most probably going to have a talk with the disciplinarian though. I can only hope he lightens up.
In response to Longhaired Boy, they don't have any GOOD reasons to make me cut my hair. It seems to me that they have nothing more than an unreasonable prejudice against longhair, as does most of society. Also, you must realize that my school is steeped in an almost fundamentalist Catholic attitude; and they don't like people who want to be different.
In response to Saul, I actually wouldn't be able to sue them at all, no matter if my parents are on my side. When anyone signs up at my school, he must sign a form saying that he has read and will comply with all the rules. The fact that the rulebook has an elastic clause saying that the disciplinarian is the final authority pretty much closes the deal. So I have nothing other than reason and logic on my side.
In response to Skarred Orange, there are no girls at my school. Unfortunately I attend an all male school, which makes it easier for the administration to stereotype us. Believe me, the hair rules aren't even close to being the most ridiculous rules my school has to offer.
Well, thanks for all your replies and sorry about the length of this one. I just wanted to address all the questions in one shot. You all might be wondering why I even decided to go to this school in the first place. Well, I didn't. My mom signed me up without my consent and told me that I would be switching schools one night after I had come home from my previous school. Due to circumstances in my life and the way things were and still are, there was no way that I could have gotten out of it. But that's a whole other story.
I probably will end up having to get it cut in some way, even if it's not as bad as it seems. I'll keep you all updated.
Not necessarily. On that issue, courts would often disagree. In general, courts tend to void such provisions because they reserve that niche - the one of "final authority" - for themselves. :-) In general, such clauses are wishful thinking on the part of those who write them, coupled with a hope that those who read them won't know of their legal ineffectiveness.
You've pretty much said you wouldn't go so far as to litigate over this, but others who encounter such provisions and do wish to fight need to know that such a provision does not necessarily slam the door shut on their case.
I would never cut my hair. I don't care if the Pope himself said it was a sin for males to have long hair. I'd pride myself in the fact the school didn't win. In my case, if being expelled were the only option . . . so be it.
i empathize. :( pretty much the exact same thing happened to me. the only difference i can think of now is that it was not catholic. but i have been out of school for over one and a half years, so it is getting a little bit longer. have patience. :)
Just to throw my two cents in...there are six mo's of school left - if there was ever a time for compromise this would be it. Cut maybe one inch then graduate. Hair would be no reason to deny yourself your education - it grows back. I know it sucks to be "forced" into doing it but hey...get the education...get the good job...grow it out REALLY long and go back to say "hi" with your long hair and great job. :-)
Well, if anyone is still reading this far down the page, it looks like I'm gonna get by with my hair for now. The disciplinarian finally laid off me. He still made this other guy who was growing his hair out get it cut, but he's leaving me alone now. I guess he finally realized that he shouldn't make me cut it since we're pretty cool with each other. I just hope he continues to look the other way until I'm out. Later. :)